How many days does it take you to process a Bills loss?

[ShakAttack]

I almost made this question specific to Pats losses.

With the well-known dominance of the Patriots over the past 20 some odd years, there have been SEVERAL seasons in which losing to the Pats rendered the Bills at a new low point.  

 

It is remarkable to me that every season (except 2020) we play this team and not only do they beat us, but they ALWAYS pour salt on the wound along with it in some way. There's ALWAYS some kind of negative impact towards the rest of our season that comes with it.

 

This year for instance... Bills lose to Pats... suddenly our guys are walking out of press conferences... suddenly you have the usually tight-lipped McDermott throwing his players under the bus, throwing McKenzie under the bus, both publicly... suddenly you have fans saying McDermott has to go... there's starting to be perceived dysfunction within this group that not too long ago was described as a close knit family...... and it's all happening after the Patriots beat us.

 

All of these things make it all the more difficult to digest and continues to fuel our hatred towards the Patriots.

 

BUT... As I started to think about how long it takes me to process a Bills loss, I realized that it's pretty much the same with all of them, but with the Pats it is just amplified.

 

So, I am asking about losses in general here.

 

In other words, I'm asking how long does it take until you are OVER IT?  

 

When does the outcome of the game stop affecting your overall mood?

 

For me, there are distinct stages in how I process a Bills loss to the Pats.

 

The first 24 hours suck:

 

I get depressed and it SUCKS. It affects my mood, my relationships, my energy/motivation, you name it. This is where I'll often wonder why the heck I care about this team so much in the first place? And how nice it would be to STOP caring about football because I hate the fact that it can literally ruin an entire day for me. And that entire day consists of periodically playing back EVERY missed opportunity from the game in my mind, and with each missed opportunity identified, the frustration grows. 

 

Then by day #2:

 

The periodic reminiscing finally begins to subside and the rationalization process begins and at some point I'll land on a stupid-ass reason to remain hopeful, but this process of BS'ing myself (maybe) is essential to moving on for me because without that hope, there is not much to get excited about when you watch.

 

FINALLY, by DAY #3, I've officially moved on to the upcoming game...

So, what about YOU?  

 

I've always wondered if other Bills fans were as tormented by losses as I am. And if so, how long it took to stop thinking about it. Interested to hear the  processing/coping mechanisms others have.

 

That's right, I admit it... I NEED HELP!! 😆

[Kingston Bills Fan]

Your not alone! I go through the same process, I wonder to myself if I should stop watching altogether if it’s too unhealthy to let it affect me this much but I love football and the Bills so I keep putting myself through it. Been a fan since 1990. 

[Peace Frog]

Still trying to get over Ronnie Harmon's drop in the AFCWC against the Browns back in '89.

[CSBill]

7 hours ago, BobBelcher said:

I almost made this question specific to Pats losses.

With the well-known dominance of the Patriots over the past 20 some odd years, there have been SEVERAL seasons in which losing to the Pats rendered the Bills at a new low point.  

 

It is remarkable to me that every season (except 2020) we play this team and not only do they beat us, but they ALWAYS pour salt on the wound along with it in some way. There's ALWAYS some kind of negative impact towards the rest of our season that comes with it.

 

This year for instance... Bills lose to Pats... suddenly our guys are walking out of press conferences... suddenly you have the usually tight-lipped McDermott throwing his players under the bus, throwing McKenzie under the bus, both publicly... suddenly you have fans saying McDermott has to go... there's starting to be perceived dysfunction within this group that not too long ago was described as a close knit family...... and it's all happening after the Patriots beat us.

 

All of these things make it all the more difficult to digest and continues to fuel our hatred towards the Patriots.

 

BUT... As I started to think about how long it takes me to process a Bills loss, I realized that it's pretty much the same with all of them, but with the Pats it is just amplified.

 

So, I am asking about losses in general here.

 

In other words, I'm asking how long does it take until you are OVER IT?  

 

When does the outcome of the game stop affecting your overall mood?

 

For me, there are distinct stages in how I process a Bills loss to the Pats.

 

The first 24 hours suck:

 

I get depressed and it SUCKS. It affects my mood, my relationships, my energy/motivation, you name it. This is where I'll often wonder why the heck I care about this team so much in the first place? And how nice it would be to STOP caring about football because I hate the fact that it can literally ruin an entire day for me. And that entire day consists of periodically playing back EVERY missed opportunity from the game in my mind, and with each missed opportunity identified, the frustration grows. 

 

Then by day #2:

 

The periodic reminiscing finally begins to subside and the rationalization process begins and at some point I'll land on a stupid-ass reason to remain hopeful, but this process of BS'ing myself (maybe) is essential to moving on for me because without that hope, there is not much to get excited about when you watch.

 

FINALLY, by DAY #3, I've officially moved on to the upcoming game...

So, what about YOU?  

 

I've always wondered if other Bills fans were as tormented by losses as I am. And if so, how long it took to stop thinking about it. Interested to hear the  processing/coping mechanisms others have.

 

That's right, I admit it... I NEED HELP!! 😆

 

Oh, yeah.

 

What's today, Wednesday, I'll let you know how many it takes. .... The Indy loss, I was through with that in the middle of the 4th quarter, but the ones we should have won with one play here or there (Tennessee, Jacksonville, this one), they take days.

 

Edited December 8, 2021 by CSBill

[Conlan58]

For me, I'm processing the loss the same day/night. 

 

The hard parts for me are when it starts feeling like "same old bills" and feeling like last season actually was a lucky fluke season where things just went their way. 

 

I trust Beane and McD, but it is hard to be overly confident as long as Daboll is calling plays.

[Doc Brown]

The weird thing is you think you handle it better as you get older but you don't.  I try and not let it ruin my next day but it's always in the back of my mind.  I took the losses hard in the late 80's/90's and I take them just as hard now.  The one silver lining about the drought is I didn't take losses as hard because I knew we'd never sniff a Super Bowl with EJ Lotzpatrick Bledwards on the field. 

[SydneyBillsFan]

This one was like an unexpected gut punch, followed closely by a kick in the Christmas decorations.

 

I may recover in time to see Fournette and Brady skewer us on Sunday like an Afghan goat on a spit.

[ProcessTruster]

As my screen name suggests, I'm less into any particular game and moreso into whether the organization is growing in competitiveness and quality.  If that is happening, then even with the ups and downs of the season (due to intermittent injuries to key players, crazy weather leveling the playing field for a single game, for example) the winning record and playoffs will happen more often than not.   

 

So no, I don't get worked up over any one game, be it one-off blowouts of severely depleted Jets or Saints teams playing crappy backup QBs (who have good rosters but didn't have them for our game) or losing a game pretty much played in Antarctica.   Bills are a strong team and will be winning approx 2/3 of their games over the next 3-4 years IMO.   McBeane's process has worked and is working.   I'm interested in long term competitiveness, the wins will happen.  

 

Playoffs are a crapshoot as any single elimination tournament is, so that is less predictable. 

[ALLEN1QB]

I'm still processing Super Bowl 25

[Giuseppe Tognarelli]

It's certainly worse when I go to the trouble of attending a game in that weather, it's a huge game, it's against the Pats, and it was an agonizing torture chamber to sit through, watching opportunity after opportunity slip by. At one point, I just knew we would win 24-14, but somehow it didn't happen.

Edited December 8, 2021 by Giuseppe Tognarelli

[HOUSE]

 I am done processing after 3 beers

 

 

 

 

[Billzfan37]

Every year, there are a couple of high flying pre-season favorites that puke out.  For example, the Browns are sitting right there with 6 losses and like the Bills, they were a preseason super bowl favorite for some.  Last year, Tampa Bay went 7-5 through their first 12 games with an embarrassing blowout loss to the Saints that mirrored our Colts loss, and another bad showing against the Bears, and 3 straight November losses.  The Bucs were 7-5 (like us) going into their December 13th game against the Vikings, and they never lost again that season.  Like the Bills, they had a deep, talented roster and had to find their identity.  So far, our identity has been to piss away opportunities...but if we wake up this weekend, it could start a hot streak that wins the whole thing.

[streetkings01]

1 day…..I always have work the next day, my kids are involved in sports plus I coach my sons 12U travel flag football team. I have a pretty busy schedule plus I stay off social media, sports networks and message boards for a few days after a loss…..can’t let it consume you.

[Greg S]

Regular season losses a day or two at most. However wide right still hurts. 

[JMF2006]

I am already on to TB and TB12

BTW the outcome doesn't effect my mood.

 

I might be more salty in the lead up to a big game

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

I am considering a petition for 'The Petition Site'.  I just have to decide if I am jettisoning coaching staff, players, or starting a class action lawsuit for failure to perform by the organization.

*
🙄😁

[Gunner]

3 hours ago, BobBelcher said:

I almost made this question specific to Pats losses.

With the well-known dominance of the Patriots over the past 20 some odd years, there have been SEVERAL seasons in which losing to the Pats rendered the Bills at a new low point.  

 

It is remarkable to me that every season (except 2020) we play this team and not only do they beat us, but they ALWAYS pour salt on the wound along with it in some way. There's ALWAYS some kind of negative impact towards the rest of our season that comes with it.

 

This year for instance... Bills lose to Pats... suddenly our guys are walking out of press conferences... suddenly you have the usually tight-lipped McDermott throwing his players under the bus, throwing McKenzie under the bus, both publicly... suddenly you have fans saying McDermott has to go... there's starting to be perceived dysfunction within this group that not too long ago was described as a close knit family...... and it's all happening after the Patriots beat us.

 

All of these things make it all the more difficult to digest and continues to fuel our hatred towards the Patriots.

 

BUT... As I started to think about how long it takes me to process a Bills loss, I realized that it's pretty much the same with all of them, but with the Pats it is just amplified.

 

So, I am asking about losses in general here.

 

In other words, I'm asking how long does it take until you are OVER IT?  

 

When does the outcome of the game stop affecting your overall mood?

 

For me, there are distinct stages in how I process a Bills loss to the Pats.

 

The first 24 hours suck:

 

I get depressed and it SUCKS. It affects my mood, my relationships, my energy/motivation, you name it. This is where I'll often wonder why the heck I care about this team so much in the first place? And how nice it would be to STOP caring about football because I hate the fact that it can literally ruin an entire day for me. And that entire day consists of periodically playing back EVERY missed opportunity from the game in my mind, and with each missed opportunity identified, the frustration grows. 

 

Then by day #2:

 

The periodic reminiscing finally begins to subside and the rationalization process begins and at some point I'll land on a stupid-ass reason to remain hopeful, but this process of BS'ing myself (maybe) is essential to moving on for me because without that hope, there is not much to get excited about when you watch.

 

FINALLY, by DAY #3, I've officially moved on to the upcoming game...

So, what about YOU?  

 

I've always wondered if other Bills fans were as tormented by losses as I am. And if so, how long it took to stop thinking about it. Interested to hear the  processing/coping mechanisms others have.

 

That's right, I admit it... I NEED HELP!! 😆

Becoming a Gold Star dad trained me to accept it immediately, there's more to life than winning a game. But that doesn't stop me from being 100% focused (cheering, yelling, bitching at stupidity and refs) during the games. #GoBills.

[John Gianelli]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

You speak for thousands of us.

[ProcessTruster]

3 hours ago, CSBill said:

 

Oh, yeah.

 

What's today, Wednesday, I'll let you know how many it takes. .... The Indy loss, I was through with that in the middle of the 4th quarter, but the ones we should have one with one play here or there (Tennessee, Jacksonville, this one), they take days.

but you ran in a second with the Pats and Rams home wins last year, which were beyond lucky and were nearly certain losses until wacko fate intervened .  can't have it both ways

2 minutes ago, ProcessTruster said:

but you ran in a second with the Pats and Rams home wins last year, which were beyond lucky and were nearly certain losses until wacko fate intervened .  can't have it both ways

 

[Bills fan since 87]

1 hour ago, HOUSE said:

 I am done processing after 3 beers

 

 

 

 

Light-weight 🙂

[DasNootz]

In general:

 

Monday - Burn it down

Tuesday - We suck/are grossly overrated

Wednesday - If could just find a way to win this week we'll be ok (start looking at playoff math and scenarios)

Thursday - We might win this next one

Friday - We're definitely winning
Saturday - Book the hotels for the Super Bowl

 

Following a win we skip right to Thursday/Friday.

Edited December 8, 2021 by DasNootz

[babulator]

I too still lament the Ronnie Harmon dropped pass, and the super bowl losses and all of it. But this years losses have been particularly bitter for me. IDK, probably just the combination of renewed hope and lofty expectations have made it pretty hard to swallow. I guess it takes me til Wednesday before I can even start to turn the page. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little more worried about the next page than I was the last.  

[Negan]

Used to effect me more when I was younger, at this point its like oh well. 

[WhoTom]

Until the next win.

 

[goldenboy81]

A game like the other night takes 24 hours til I snap out of it. 

Almost like an adult being grounded, no sports tv and don't leave the house. 

[Orlando Tim]

I am 44 years old and over the past about 10 years I have made it an effort to not let it ruin my life. I processed the NE game by about 1 am eastern that night. 10 years ago I would still be fuming. I am maturing.

[Royale with Cheese]

It depends on the type of loss.

 

I will however say that after the Colts loss, my emotional investment has gone way down.  I’m still watching every game and every play but that beating just made me think that we aren’t anywhere near our expectations.  
 

I’m going to finish out the season emotionally like I did during the drought years.  Just to watch Bills football and enjoy the few hours….not going in with any expectations.  
 

A win in Tampa can change my perspective but who honestly has confidence at this point?

[cd1]

Due to PTS from the draught years, I have stronger reactions than ever.

 

After last year and early this year, I thought we had turned the corner to a new era - my bad.

 

Right now I am disgusted by falling back into the "What team will show up to play this week" mode.

 

SO DISAPPOINTED - maybe I'll get over it, but maybe I am just sick of it.

 

[Blainorama5]

50 minutes ago, DasNootz said:

In general:

 

Monday - Burn it down

Tuesday - We suck/are grossly overrated

Wednesday - If could just find a way to win this week we'll be ok (start looking at playoff math and scenarios)

Thursday - We might win this next one

Friday - We're definitely winning
Saturday - Book the hotels for the Super Bowl

 

Following a win we skip right to Thursday/Friday.

I find myself running right along a similar timeline.  After a bad loss (like Monday), I don't look at ANYTHING football related for at least 2 days, then by the third day I can look at things a bit more rationally.

[Beast]

I'm still pissed about Super Bowl 25.

 

How many days is that?

[Aussie Joe]

This is the worst regular season loss in several years IMO….not as bad as their playoff losses the last 2 years though…

[Royale with Cheese]

20 minutes ago, Beast said:

I'm still pissed about Super Bowl 25.

 

How many days is that?

 

We all know you're asking because you can't count that high and you don't know how to use Google.

 

You probably still write a check at the grocery store.  

 

"Let me get my check book out and my glasses so I can see.  What was the total again?"  Then as you write it, you say it out loud as well.  

[TheBrownBear]

Lol.  On Monday evening I didn't think I would ever get over this loss.  Told my wife and kids I was done watching the Bills and started making plans in my head for golf this Sunday.  Went to bed salty as hell and woke up not wanting to think about the Bills.   Then I checked in here, started posting and processing the loss, started feeling better in the afternoon, and by the time I woke up this morning I had convinced myself we were finishing 12-5 and poised to win a Super Bowl if we could just clean up some of our sloppiness.  So, I guess somewhere in the range of 36-48 hours.

[ShakAttack]

3 hours ago, streetkings01 said:

1 day…..I always have work the next day, my kids are involved in sports plus I coach my sons 12U travel flag football team. I have a pretty busy schedule plus I stay off social media, sports networks and message boards for a few days after a loss…..can’t let it consume you.

I should take this advice. Staying off social media and message boards. Cause to be honest with you what ALWAYS makes it worse is when you see those tweets and posts like:

 

”Check out this PI on the throw to Knox that wasn’t called!”

 

”Josh would have had a TD on 4th and 14 if the Pats DB didn’t make an amazing play!”

 

etc… Yeah, you start to add up ALL of the missed opportunities and missed calls and think to yourself “if we just got ONE of these…” In addition to the 10 you were already aware of…. And that’s what makes the day after 10x worse IMO. 
 

so your approach would probably be the remedy for me… problem is I don’t trust I have the Will power to do it 😂

[nucci]

I haven't gotten over the Superbowl losses

[John from Riverside]

10 minutes 

[Gugny]

I'd say starting about 2015, losses generally don't affect me at all.  Monday night's loss, however, pissed me off the most I've been pissed in YEARS.  Yesterday was more subtle disappointment.  Today I'm fine.

[D. L. Hot-Flamethrower]

Count Days

11,273 days

January 27, 1991 - December 8, 2021

 

As others have said, still trying to get there!

[ngbills]

Well usually a day or so. This one is rough though. 

[SCBills]

Normally i'm good by Wednesday - but with the way that NE game went down, Tampa/Brady coming up and the lurking probability of waking up Monday morning at 7-6 and squarely on the "In The Hunt" graphic - I'm still disgusted and will be hate watching the game on Sunday.