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My mom passed away today.


Wacka

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I have mentioned my elderly mom on this board before. She lost her battle with dementia this afternoon. She had turned 95 on 9/1. She was a widow since 1990 when my dad died at 60. She had shown slight signs in her late 80s, but her mobility was greatly reduced when she broke a foot about 4 years ago.  She was able to be by herself until almost 3 years ago, when she caught pneumonia and  then needed constant supervision. She declined slowly and her doctor referred her to Hospice (angels on earth) in April. They were coming every 2 weeks and then weekly, and after her birthday, she quickly went downhill. We called them Sunday and had them check her vitals that were OK.  They were scheduled to come today, but we asked them to come earlier in the day if possible.  They did and provided her oxygen at 3 or 4. She passed about 6:50. At home and in bed like she wanted.

If you are younger, cherish every moment with your parents. We only have so much . She helped me when I has in trouble and I was glad to help her out now in this part of her life.

 

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You have my sympathy. 

 

My mother's health was not good for many years and only time it improved was on a trip to Hong Kong to my wife's sister's wedding where she and my mother-in-law to exercise each morning on the mountain.

My mother went from living alone to living with my sister to retirement home my sister worked as a nurse.

Unfortunately as she got older she became uncommunicative and unhappy that some in family did not visit her.

She was in hospice having decided to withhold all medication and died before I could travel there.

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We live about a mile from their main facility in Cheektowaga. When we called they were here in a few minutes. Another gracious gift from the Ralph Wilson Estate. As I said, they are angels on earth.

 

Had a weird thing Sunday morning.  Was out shopping  for a few minutes and I get a call from my mom's cell phone. No one there. It has sitting in a drawer for over a  year with no minutes and a dead battery.  Come home and my brother is sitting with her at the kitchen table(her in a lay-Z-boyrecliner) and I ask him if he used the phone. No way he replies.  That was about the time she really started being incoherent.  Was it somehow a message from her?

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sorry for your loss wacka.  my parents are heading towards 82, so i'm starting to think about this a lot lately.  my mom's brother in law passed away at 90 recently.  when i was giving her condolences, she let me know not to be sorry because he, "won".  he was 90, died in his bed, with his kids and family around him.  to live that long and die that way i suppose are wins.  even though your mom wasn't in great health at 95...she won.

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We were blessed that we had her for so long with her wits about her. Had good genes in her family. Was one of 9 siblings, she was in the middle. Oldest died at 98 in 2014. Baby of the family died in the same year at 83. Her mom was 76 and her dad was 94 when he died. Her only survive sibling is 91.

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RIP... Long wonderful life!  My neighbor is 95, still living alone, which is incredible! She has friends and family helping her.  She was even driving up to a few years ago... But crashing through the garage ended that.   I just helped her by changing out a bad cable box yesterday.   She is glued to that tube! 😆... 

 

Can't say it enough, all my condolences.  Your mother was part of an amazing generation.   They've been through a lot, saw a lot of change!

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1 hour ago, Wacka said:

We live about a mile from their main facility in Cheektowaga. When we called they were here in a few minutes. Another gracious gift from the Ralph Wilson Estate. As I said, they are angels on earth.

 

Had a weird thing Sunday morning.  Was out shopping  for a few minutes and I get a call from my mom's cell phone. No one there. It has sitting in a drawer for over a  year with no minutes and a dead battery.  Come home and my brother is sitting with her at the kitchen table(her in a lay-Z-boyrecliner) and I ask him if he used the phone. No way he replies.  That was about the time she really started being incoherent.  Was it somehow a message from her?

God bless, Wacka. I've had two similarly odd experiences regarding my best friend twenty years ago and my uncle. The world is strangely connected, "entangled" the quantum folks say. Not sure if you are a man of faith. I believe ultimately our sorrows are healed. I know it was a long task of love and a hard endurance for you. I'll be praying for you.

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Hey man - so sorry to hear this. I know you'll hear that she was 95 and lived a long life but it's never enough - you always want all the time in the world with your family. My wife has worked in hospice for almost 25 years (not as a clinician), and we see how valuable hospice is to so many people - I hope they were able to help and make sure your mother's last times were as good as they could be. No words that I can express to make this loss go away, but hang in there - you have our support.

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16 hours ago, Wacka said:

I have mentioned my elderly mom on this board before. She lost her battle with dementia this afternoon. She had turned 95 on 9/1. She was a widow since 1990 when my dad died at 60. She had shown slight signs in her late 80s, but her mobility was greatly reduced when she broke a foot about 4 years ago.  She was able to be by herself until almost 3 years ago, when she caught pneumonia and  then needed constant supervision. She declined slowly and her doctor referred her to Hospice (angels on earth) in April. They were coming every 2 weeks and then weekly, and after her birthday, she quickly went downhill. We called them Sunday and had them check her vitals that were OK.  They were scheduled to come today, but we asked them to come earlier in the day if possible.  They did and provided her oxygen at 3 or 4. She passed about 6:50. At home and in bed like she wanted.

If you are younger, cherish every moment with your parents. We only have so much . She helped me when I has in trouble and I was glad to help her out now in this part of her life.

 

God Bless Wacka.  

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Sorry for your loss and my sincere condolences. I lost my mom in 2008 at the all too young age of 66 and my dad in 2019 a month shy of his 77th birthday. There is not a day that goes by where I don't miss them. Losing your parents, or anyone you love for that matter, is the hardest thing in life. Peace.

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Today just after my sis and BIL go to the funeral home to make arrangements(My mom, bro, and me are COVID Positive but sis negative). They call us with the arrangements and minutes later, I get THREE calls from my mom's phone!

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15 hours ago, Wacka said:

Today just after my sis and BIL go to the funeral home to make arrangements(My mom, bro, and me are COVID Positive but sis negative). They call us with the arrangements and minutes later, I get THREE calls from my mom's phone!

My grandmother died earlier in the year and my dad got Covid along with his brother and sister.  He tested positive before the funeral and didn’t attend service.  I’m still not sure the whole time line of events.

 

Condolences.  Sorry it sounds you can’t attend as well? 

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We are going to have the wake on October 1 and bury her on October 2. My sis is negative but me and my bro will be out of quarrentine.  October 1 is the 31st anniversary of my dad's death. My mom was also positive so according to state laws, we have to have a closed casket and she has to be in a bag in the casket. We will have a nice picture of her that my sister had taken when they took her on a cruise about 10 years ago displayed.

The funeral  director says you can provide  up to 40-50 pictures and he makes a video montage he runs in the room. I saw that at my aunts's (her sister) wake about 7 years ago. We are including a very nice picture of her and my dad of them out at a nightclub  at least 65 years ago (when they were dating). We were showing her that photo in the mornings to try to jump start her memory as the dementia took its toll. 

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On 9/21/2021 at 10:33 PM, Wacka said:

I have mentioned my elderly mom on this board before. She lost her battle with dementia this afternoon. She had turned 95 on 9/1. She was a widow since 1990 when my dad died at 60. She had shown slight signs in her late 80s, but her mobility was greatly reduced when she broke a foot about 4 years ago.  She was able to be by herself until almost 3 years ago, when she caught pneumonia and  then needed constant supervision. She declined slowly and her doctor referred her to Hospice (angels on earth) in April. They were coming every 2 weeks and then weekly, and after her birthday, she quickly went downhill. We called them Sunday and had them check her vitals that were OK.  They were scheduled to come today, but we asked them to come earlier in the day if possible.  They did and provided her oxygen at 3 or 4. She passed about 6:50. At home and in bed like she wanted.

If you are younger, cherish every moment with your parents. We only have so much . She helped me when I has in trouble and I was glad to help her out now in this part of her life.

 

Damn. Sorry to hear and my sympathies to you and your family.

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I don't think mom died of COVId. She was going downhill and wouldn't have made it to Thanksgiving or Christmas anyway. People who work in nursing homes etc say that there is a statistical uptick in deaths  within a week or so of people's birthdays. They just want yto make it to the next one. Maybe COVID just advanced it by a day or two.

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My condolences. I lost my mom two years ago next month at the age of 73. We hadn’t heard from her in two days and I was calling both her home and her cell phone with no results. She had moved into a senior apartment complex a couple of years before. I drove out there pounding on her door and got no response. One of the worst moments came when I then called her cell phone and could hear it ringing from inside the apartment.

 

She had died in her sleep the day before. I don’t know what’s worse, having a sudden death like my mom or a lingering one like yours. I only know that both leave a hole that will never be filled.

 

May your mom live on forever in your heart and may the memories that the two of you shared always bring you comfort and joy.

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5 hours ago, Wacka said:

I don't think mom died of COVId. She was going downhill and wouldn't have made it to Thanksgiving or Christmas anyway. People who work in nursing homes etc say that there is a statistical uptick in deaths  within a week or so of people's birthdays. They just want yto make it to the next one. Maybe COVID just advanced it by a day or two.

 

My father-in-law battled cancer for 13 years. He was at deaths door in December, 1993. My wife was with him Christmas Eve, then flew home to be with me and the kids for Christmas Day. Yeah, rough Christmas. He was barely coherent, but kept saying “I can’t do it, I can’t do it.” My wife coaxed out of him that he didn’t want to die on Christmas and forever “ruin” that day. He fought until the 29th before passing. It was one helluva fight. They raised some amazing kids. 

 

That are all at peace now, so I take comfort in that and hope in time you can too.       

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We were looking through photos this afternoon for the video collage at the wake. Found a professional photo of mom from 1948 that must have belonged to my aunt. Said on the back that it was her sister (my mom's name) and  she was 21 and it was from 1948.  My mom was a stunner! This was years before she met my dad.  

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