Emotional attachment to Bills - perspective welcomed

[Rockee96]

Hi,

 

I am a 39-year old from California who has been a die-hard Bills fan for the past 30 years. It all started when my mother bought me a Thurman Thomas rookie card for my 9th birthday in 1990. I started watching Bills games rooting for Thurman because I wanted the value of the card to go up. The rest is history, as I fell in love with the team, witnessed Wide Right, the Super Bowls, the heartbreak of Music City Miracle, short-lived joys, and long-suffering during the past 3 decades. I've flown to Buffalo from Cali to watch Bills home games only to see them lose over and over until I finally witnessed a win in 2018 (when Josh beat the Titans). I've met great friends during the tailgates who welcomed me with open arms and who still even to this day are so kind to me, 3500 miles away. 

 

I am writing to you because I want to see if my attachment, passion, or more accurately obsession for the Bills is normal. I feel like I love our team too much, to the point it hurts. There have been many times where I wished that I stopped being a Bills fan because it hurt too much. In fact, there was a week (during the Doug Whaley era) that I tried to psych myself into being a Denver Broncos fan because I was so tired of us losing and being disappointed - that only lasted for 30 minutes. I know deep inside that until I die, I will remain a Bills fan no matter what. But it hasn't been easy. 

 

This week has been surreal for me. I've never been so happy and proud of my Bills, as they excelled this year and gave me a sense of joy that I haven't felt since I was in elementary school. Yet I never been so petrified and anxious before a game as I have been the past 25 years. I want them to win so bad on Saturday, yet I am trying to be realistic and temper my expectations. I know that if we lose, I will be so disappointed that I am afraid how I will take it. If anyone has any words of encouragement should this happen, I would appreciate it. Is there anyone else that feels as I do, or am I the only one? 

 

You see, I've tried to understand the psychology, the inner depths, of why I like our team so much. I mean at the end of the day, it's a bunch of athletes in red, blue, and white uniforms who get paid a lot of money to play a kids game. They don't know me personally, they are rich, and have their own lives. I'm not even from Buffalo. Heck, every year new people come and go. I have a good job, have a loving family, and am healthy - I am grateful for the blessings in my life. But what is it about the Bills that causes me to pour out my heart and my soul? Why do they cause me to be so elated, yet so sad? Sometimes, I wonder what is wrong with me and what I can do to overcome my attachment to our team. My friends in California cannot figure out why I love our Bills so much. 

 

I've been wanting to share my thoughts with you but wasn't sure how this will be received. But I thought I had nothing to lose. I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

 

Thanks,

Thomas 

 

 

[Zag20]

This is my first and probably only post just to reply and say I could have written that myself. I was born and raised in Seattle, 38 years old, and have been a Bills fan since the start of the ‘90s. The Seahawks were awful then and the Bills were so damn cool. Since having kids, my emotional elasticity with wins and losses has waned a little, but this season has just been so much fun and it’s a thrill to care about something you have NO control over. Anyway, you’re not the only one out there on the west coast with an irrational and unexplainable attachment to the team. It’s a great time to be a long suffering Bills fan. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Go Bills!!

[MiltonWaddams]

You are far from alone. My anxiety starts Wednesdays and doesn’t end until the game is over. Many times my happiness is directly tied to the success of the team. I wish it wasn’t and that I could just be a supporter, but I am a rabid fanatic and have been since 1987. 
The Bills are not a team, they are a lifestyle and it’s not always healthy.

 

[Don Otreply]

Thomas, You’re just like the rest of us, yes it’s to the point of being unhealthy/psychotic, but that’s just how it goes. Hell I’m siting on a sailboat in the Bahamas 🇧🇸 trying to keepup to date on the Webernet, internet service can be somewhat sketchy here.

Move to Buffalo and you will be with thousands of other equally afflicted Bills fans. 
 

Go Bills!  

[jkx2]

The Bills have been part of my DNA since 1966. It would take to long to write about all that has transpired over my obsession, only I will say I once said to my wife soon after getting married "I would have lived a unhappy life if I do not see the Bills win a Super Bowl."  It has left her disturbed 26 years later.

[TroutDog]

Seek help immediately. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding! Glad you’re a part of Bills Mafia. These feelings subside with a shot of Allen and a chaser of Diggs. 😃 

[LVGrown]

Also 39 years old and became a fan in 1990 and the rest is history. 

 

I turn 40 next Sunday (Jan 24th). IF the Bills win tomorrow night they will be playing for the Super Bowl on my 40th!!! birthday.

 

I want nothing more in this world than to celebrate a trip to the SB. Let's go boys!!!

[Rockee96]

Wow, I am encouraged by everyone's responses! Glad we can relate. 

 

TroutDog - I read your first line and started to wonder about myself...until I read the bottom part! LOL! Thanks! You got me there for a moment! 

 

LVGrown - that is awesome how we became Bills fans at the same time and also are the same age. Happy early birthday!

 

 

[Gonzonzo]

I have the same nerves as when Argentina played the world cup final with Germany in Brazil

 

Hope for a better result this time....

[wolfpack78]

I'm with you 100%.  I'm a 35 year old (turn 36 next Sunday as well - hoping to be watching the Bills in the AFC Championship on my birthday!) from Ohio and have no actual ties to the city of Buffalo.  My life is surrounded mostly by Browns, Bengals and (to a much lessor extent) Steelers fans.  Whenever anyone asks me why I'm a Bills fan I have really have no answer.  I originally had concerns that I was a front-runner as a youngster, but my parents reassured me that I latched onto the Bills around the 1988 season, a couple years before the Super Bowl run.  Whatever the reason, I have stuck with them.  For the first time in my adult life, they are actually good.  I love listening to One Bills Live or coming on here to pass the time while working from home during this pandemic.  I'm not ready to stop having that be part of my every day routine yet.

 

I have a 4.5 year old daughter that loves to do art and color.  Nowadays, before I color with her she always reminds me that I can't just use 'Bills colors' (red and blue obviously) to color that unicorn or Disney princess.  While she is obviously too early to really understand what is going on, I really hope she looks back when in her 20s and 30s and reflects on her own Bills fandom and appreciates that it was these days/this season when it all really began.  I really can't explain it.  My wife thinks I'm obsessed, but I would not have it any other way.  Just dropped some some money on Etsy to further outfit my basement bar with Bills decor.  Damn I am nervous for tomorrow!

[Charles Romes]

When Ralph was approaching 90 and it looked like the team was headed to Toronto I would have given anything just to be sure that I had my own team to root for and maybe sniff the playoffs once a decade. I used to beside myself just to inch past .500 in late November every few years. Then I dreamed that Josh would become a legitimate starter, maybe a QB in the league’s top fifteen, who knows maybe even the top ten. This season has been incredible, and more than what I once thought possible.  

[Augie]

46 minutes ago, TroutDog said:

Seek help immediately. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding! Glad you’re a part of Bills Mafia. These feelings subside with a shot of Allen and a chaser of Diggs. 😃 

 

Therapy can work! We had a great therapist........ and I think I converted her!!!

 

My son got a Bills tattoo. One of his female friends (just friends) was so moved by his devotion SHE got her first and only tattoo a few years ago....Bills of course on her ankle. She now travels the country for Bills roads games.  She’s ALL IN! 

 

 

To @Rockee96, be glad you live on the west coast! I left Buffalo in 1977 for college, but I’m sure it’s still the same.....the mood in the city takes the better part of a week to recover after a loss. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just me. It was REAL. The city was a different place depending upon whether they won or lost. I’ve never been anywhere else that lives for their team like WNY! To be that way after such dismal times says we are either phenomenally loyal, or batchit crazy!  I’m not qualified to say which...........🤷‍♂️

 

 

 

.

 

Edited January 16, 2021 by Augie

[The Firebaugh Kid]

Hi Tom. 

I'm obsessed with the Bills. 

Obsessed. 

Those superbowls were my birthday parties as a kid. I cried in a few cakes. Wide right was ON my birthday.

Were obsessed because its WHO WE ARE. The Bills are overcomers, and so are we. And WHEN they win it all, those demons will finally sleep. 

Go Bills. 

[Augie]

1 minute ago, The Firebaugh Kid said:

Hi Tom. 

I'm obsessed with the Bills. 

Obsessed. 

 Those superbowls were my birthday parties as a kid. I cried in a few cakes. Wide right was ON my birthday.

Were obsessed because its WHO WE ARE. The Bills are overcomers, and so are we. And WHEN they win it all, those demons will finally sleep. 

Go Bills. 

 

That is NOT the proper way to put out the candles, but as Bills fans we understand. 

[strive_for_five_guy]

38 here, obsessed with the Bills as well.  For me, I think the obsession goes back to wide right and the ensuing Super Bowl losses, and the heart and resilience that those 90s Bills showed, in spite of being the butt of numerous national jokes.  Now it’s pretty much an us against the world mentality, a battle to avenge those losses, and make the joy and pain all worthwhile.

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

I guess I'm in the minority here but this upcoming game doesn't make me even a little nervous in anticipation, probably because I'm very certain that as long as Josh is healthy we'll be back at this point pretty much annually.  The Colts game made me nervous because I was afraid the streak of first round exits might continue to dog us but if we lose tomorrow I'll be a sad for about a half hour then move on to looking forward to next season.

 

 

[BillsCuse]

I feel like you just spoke for me, lol.  The more The Bills have lost throughout the years, the more obsessed I have gotten.  I have my share of other sports teams that I like, but as the years have gone by - I find myself only caring about The Bills.  I am weirdly emotionally attached to them as well.  My emotions go up and down with this team constantly.  (Thank god its about the playoffs this time of the year and not the draft/free agency in late November)  

-Lets get a win tomorrow so our friends/family sees the super happy part if us, lol

[DallasMac]

All my family is from Buffalo.  With the exception of my Mom and Dad they all still live there.  I'm 36 and one of my earliest memories is the Bills and Giants SB.  Its in my blood and I am a proud fan and always have been.  Been a long time but so happy to see this team playing the way it is.  Nervous about the game but win or lose I know this team is built to last.  Such a fun year and I hope it continues.   

[Doc Brown]

Just out of curiosity, has an NFL team ever gone 17-3 before?

[BubbaT]

Have been a fan since 1961, been to 3 AFC Championship games and a Bills Super Bowl, watched a gazillion games over the years and I still get cranked up for every game whether it is meaningful or just another game in a losing season. Tomorrow will be Defcon 1

Edited January 16, 2021 by BubbaT

[Bufflow4]

Today is my 35th birthday and all week I have been much more excited with anticipation for the Bills game rather than for my birthday.
 

I remember sitting on my Bills beanbag chair as a little kid, right in front of the tv, watching the Bills in the early 90s.

 

Who would have predicted that the Bills would have only lost 3 games this year with the 5th hardest strength of schedule. That Allen is in the MVP conversation with Rodgers and Mahomes. That since the buy week our offense has been ranked #1 in total yards and our defense #3 in total yards. That we would be absolutely demolishing teams by the end of the regular season. I could go on and on.

 

More than a few times this season, my wife has laughed at me while I’ve been watching games and commented on how I resemble a little kid in my excitement. This year has been so much more fun than I could have ever expected and this team has outperformed most every expectation. No matter what happens tomorrow, the future is looking bright.
 

That being said, I want a win so bad. Nothing would make me happier and I really hope my one birthday wish of a Bills win comes true!

[TheNorwoodStrangler]

It is normal for Bills fans, I think its more than sports and like you said its a lifestyle or a way of life.. Obviously if we lose tomorrow we're all going to be devastated and hurt but we gotta remember what we've witnessed these last 25 years.. Hitting over .500 felt good and seeing our logo in the "In the Hunt" graphic in late November was a amazing.. Being 6-6 or 6-7 and having the false hope in our hearts that that crappy team was going to make the playoffs because we could still win out.. Now we are in the divisional round and our goal was to make the playoffs and win a game ✔✔.. We're playing with house money now and a loss tomorrow will hurt but we have to remember its looking like we have 10+ more years of this.. Lets enjoy it!!

[zow2]

Went to Rockpile games in the late 60’s with my grandfather, was at inaugural Bills game at Rich Stadium. been to 2 of the 4 Super Bowls.  watch every game with my son now.  Bills are so much a part of my life and still super nervous for Sat night.

[ganesh]

34 minutes ago, Doc Brown said:

Just out of curiosity, has an NFL team ever gone 17-3 before?

Highly unlikely.

 

In order to win 17 games and the SB, you have to go undefeated in the playoffs.   Which means you needed :

* win 13 games in regular season and go 13-3 

* win 4 games in the playoffs 

 

No other option is possible.   If they win 4 games in the playoffs including the SB, then they would have had to enter the playoffs as a wild card.   

 

A team that finished 13-3 and didn't win a division because there was a 14-2 or a 15-1 team is very unlikely.  It is possible but unlikely

 

Ideally with our 13-3 record, we should have had a by and required to win only 3 games in the playoffs to win the SB...but with the changed format, we have to take a slightly longer route....Go Bills

[billspro]

I’m just as crazy as everyone else on this forum, haha. Literally every break I have Im looking up Bills information. 

[PrimeTime101]

Well written well said. 100%

[LABILLBACKER]

At this point in my life after obsessively cheering for this team for 53 years, all I want is 1 SB. Along comes a California kid who no one believed in.  I think before I call it a life I'll see that Lombardi raised. And I'll see my Bills brethren on Cloud 9.

[LeGOATski]

I think you deal with it by setting appropriate expectations beforehand. This is entertainment. It's fun to watch your team play. A single football game presentation can contain more drama than a season's worth of Real Housewives. Realize that you're team will continue providing you entertainment for years to come and that's all you really need. Don't just acknowledge it, realize it. Get into that frame of mind.

 

All you need is to be entertained.

 

That's why even the worst Bills teams were entertaining. It's alright to get riled up during the game. Let it all out. Express yourself in your way. After the game's over do a little meditatation, or whatever helps calm you down, and get back to the right frame of mind. That positive Bills fan frame of mind.

[NoHuddleKelly12]

Like you OP, I’m not originally from Buffalo, but proudly have loved this team through thick and mostly thin since 1990, along with the community of fans we are a part of even in diaspora. It never fails that even this far South, I hear “Go Bills” from someone in public while rocking Bills gear...you get it. 😃

[LOVEMESOMEBILLS]

 

3 hours ago, Doc Brown said:

Just out of curiosity, has an NFL team ever gone 17-3 before?

 

No team has ever finished 17-3. Several Super Bowl winners finished the regular season 13-3, but all were #1 seeds with the exception of 2 teams. Both of those teams finished as #2 seeds and unfortunately both went on to beat us in the Super Bowl. They were the 1990 Giants and the 1992 Cowboys.

 

 

 

 

https://athlonsports.com/nfl/ranking-every-super-bowl-champion

[Doc Brown]

3 minutes ago, LOVEMESOMEBILLS said:

 

 

No team has ever finished 17-3. Several Super Bowl winners finished the regular season 13-3, but all were #1 seeds with the exception of 2 teams. Both of those teams finished as #2 seeds and unfortunately both went on to beat us in the Super Bowl. They were the 1990 Giants and the 1992 Cowboys.

 

 

 

 

https://athlonsports.com/nfl/ranking-every-super-bowl-champion

Off the top of my head I think the Titans beat us in the WC game with a 13-3 record.  They had a chance to do it that year.

[Steve Evans]

7 hours ago, MiltonWaddams said:

You are far from alone. My anxiety starts Wednesdays and doesn’t end until the game is over. Many times my happiness is directly tied to the success of the team. I wish it wasn’t and that I could just be a supporter, but I am a rabid fanatic and have been since 1987. 
The Bills are not a team, they are a lifestyle and it’s not always healthy.

 

100% this!!

[Dan Darragh]

6 hours ago, zow2 said:

Went to Rockpile games in the late 60’s with my grandfather, was at inaugural Bills game at Rich Stadium. been to 2 of the 4 Super Bowls.  watch every game with my son now.  Bills are so much a part of my life and still super nervous for Sat night.

Me too on the Rockpile and me too on the first Rich game (although it wasn't called Rich yet).  

 

Been living overseas for 30+ years now, only get back every now and then.  Still have not witnessed the Bills winning a game.

 

My sons (and now my grandson) are afflicted with Bills fandom for which they blame me.  For some reason with no encouragement from me, they became Sabres fans also, which increases the pain exponentially.

[Seasons1992]

If by "obsessed" you mean pacing my house for 3 hours every gameday, yes. Count me in.

Last Saturday aged me a LOT. And I already look like crap for being 42.

[HOUSE]

Hi,

I became a fan in early November and when the Bills started winning every game, I quickly hopped on the bandwagon

 

 

 

.

Edited January 16, 2021 by HOUSE

[BearNorth]

Original Bills Fan here since 1960.  Veteran of the Rockpile end zone.  Have a 41 year old son who's been a Bills fan since he was in diapers.

[Apocalypse Nuts]

I often wonder the same thing.  I'm not from Buffalo (but likely in a past life or something) but I've been a fan for 30 years now.  Started just before the first SB and stuck with them through those four heart breakers and the next few decades of frustration.  I really like the underdog mentality of the franchise and the city and I know that my high opinion of Bills fans and Western New Yorkers is a big part of my loyalty.  That Niagara Square rally after the first SB is what finally sold me for life.  Bills fans are just amazing.  This is really the only sports team I follow to this extent and it's just become a part of my life.  My wife gets so tired of hearing about the Bills (esp this season!!!!) but she humors me. 

 

Part of it is I think we're all obsessed with seeing our Bills win the SB after all those losses in a row.  That was a great era and those teams had some great players that were just good dudes too.  Hard not to root for guys like that.  A lot like we have today again.  And then riding out the next couple of decades of mostly-misery, it kind of becomes a part of you.  You know the way this current team is being built and all the quality people in the organization (esp the Pegulas!) is really something to be appreciated.  If I were just now choosing a team to root for I couldn't imagine one more respectable than the Bills.  Makes me feel like the universe paid attention to all of our collective suffering, yet unwavering loyalty, and might be finally paying us back.  Heck just giving us Josh makes up for a whole lot of those bad season.

[Moulds 808080]

Began loving the Bills at the age of 9 now I'm 46. Had no ties to Buffalo what so ever but growing up in south Florida as a Bills fan has not always been easy.

I have not missed a bills game on Tv or in person in over 20 years. My grandson turned 1 this week and my daughter wanted to plan his birthday my reply was lets see what time were playing and what day than we will plan his birthday. Tomorrow we  celebrate his birthday and I hope I am the happiest person at the party because we won!!!!!

[Apocalypse Nuts]

32 minutes ago, Seasons1992 said:

If by "obsessed" you mean pacing my house for 3 hours every gameday, yes. Count me in.

Last Saturday aged me a LOT. And I already look like crap for being 42.

 

I can never sit down anymore while a game is on t.v.  My family knows to stay at least 6 feet away for their own safety.  I can get a little animated. 

[26TrapDraw]

10 hours ago, Rockee96 said:

Hi,

 

I am a 39-year old from California who has been a die-hard Bills fan for the past 30 years. It all started when my mother bought me a Thurman Thomas rookie card for my 9th birthday in 1990. I started watching Bills games rooting for Thurman because I wanted the value of the card to go up. The rest is history, as I fell in love with the team, witnessed Wide Right, the Super Bowls, the heartbreak of Music City Miracle, short-lived joys, and long-suffering during the past 3 decades. I've flown to Buffalo from Cali to watch Bills home games only to see them lose over and over until I finally witnessed a win in 2018 (when Josh beat the Titans). I've met great friends during the tailgates who welcomed me with open arms and who still even to this day are so kind to me, 3500 miles away. 

 

I am writing to you because I want to see if my attachment, passion, or more accurately obsession for the Bills is normal. I feel like I love our team too much, to the point it hurts. There have been many times where I wished that I stopped being a Bills fan because it hurt too much. In fact, there was a week (during the Doug Whaley era) that I tried to psych myself into being a Denver Broncos fan because I was so tired of us losing and being disappointed - that only lasted for 30 minutes. I know deep inside that until I die, I will remain a Bills fan no matter what. But it hasn't been easy. 

 

This week has been surreal for me. I've never been so happy and proud of my Bills, as they excelled this year and gave me a sense of joy that I haven't felt since I was in elementary school. Yet I never been so petrified and anxious before a game as I have been the past 25 years. I want them to win so bad on Saturday, yet I am trying to be realistic and temper my expectations. I know that if we lose, I will be so disappointed that I am afraid how I will take it. If anyone has any words of encouragement should this happen, I would appreciate it. Is there anyone else that feels as I do, or am I the only one? 

 

You see, I've tried to understand the psychology, the inner depths, of why I like our team so much. I mean at the end of the day, it's a bunch of athletes in red, blue, and white uniforms who get paid a lot of money to play a kids game. They don't know me personally, they are rich, and have their own lives. I'm not even from Buffalo. Heck, every year new people come and go. I have a good job, have a loving family, and am healthy - I am grateful for the blessings in my life. But what is it about the Bills that causes me to pour out my heart and my soul? Why do they cause me to be so elated, yet so sad? Sometimes, I wonder what is wrong with me and what I can do to overcome my attachment to our team. My friends in California cannot figure out why I love our Bills so much. 

 

I've been wanting to share my thoughts with you but wasn't sure how this will be received. But I thought I had nothing to lose. I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

 

Thanks,

Thomas 

 

 

You my friend just encapsulated what it is to be a Bills fan perfectly.