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Sage Advice & Pearls of Wisdom


boyst

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Huh, I've always thought dragging children to adult related "vacation" things is an utter act of futility.  The kids make it miserable for all the adults around them, most parents do not properly parent their children in public spaces any more, at least not in this country, and the kids, if small enough, are going to remember NOTHING of the trip.  I.E., please keep them out of adult cultural point of interest destinations.

 

Parents do crap like that for their own psyche, not the children.  They think they are being a great parent and opening up experiences for their little 5 year old.  Ha!  

 

It's the same reason they make their 6 years old take piano lessons, even though it's quite clear the kid isn't into it, dislikes it, has no propensity for music, and doesn't practice.  But away the kid goes week after week to lessons, and it's all "for the child."  LOL.  It's actually for the parent, quietly getting off on the idea that he/she is raising her precious child correctly.  

 

Now if we are talking about something stupid, like driving a few states to get to a beach with an ocean and letting your little ones build sand castles, fine.  They'll enjoy that.

 

 

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Experiences > Things.

 

We are taking our 9 year old grandson to NYC next weekend. We will see the Harry Potter play, have dinner in Central Park (Tavern on the Green), take the ferry around the Statue of Liberty, see the view of the Chrysler Building and Manhattan skyline from the wife’s office, etc. It would be much less expensive to buy him one of the toys he’s so eager to have, the toys that will be forgotten in a month. His first trip to the Big Apple will stay with him a lifetime. 

 

 

.

Edited by Augie
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16 minutes ago, Augie said:

Experiences > Things.

 

We are taking our 9 year old grandson to NYC next weekend. We will see the Harry Potter play, have dinner in Central Park (Tavern on the Green), take the ferry around the Statue of Liberty, see the view of the Chrysler Building and Manhattan skyline from the wife’s office, etc. It would be much less expensive to buy home one of the toys he’s so eager to have, the toys that will be forgotten in a month. His first trip to the Big Apple will stay with him a lifetime. 

 

Take lots of pictures.  Memory fades as other memories are added.  We took my daughter to Hawaii multiple times as a youngster and while she wants to go back (much more difficult now) her memories are not very strong.

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1 hour ago, boyst said:

What do you have?

 

My submission: "a vacation with children is not supposed to be for your relaxation. It is for them and their core memories." A friend last week before we went to the beach.

 

My sister-in-law says that it's not vacation...it's going away.

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24 minutes ago, Augie said:

Experiences > Things.

 

We are taking our 9 year old grandson to NYC next weekend. We will see the Harry Potter play, have dinner in Central Park (Tavern on the Green), take the ferry around the Statue of Liberty, see the view of the Chrysler Building and Manhattan skyline from the wife’s office, etc. It would be much less expensive to buy home one of the toys he’s so eager to have, the toys that will be forgotten in a month. His first trip to the Big Apple will stay with him a lifetime. 

 

 

.


That’s a great age for him to experience those things. 
 

I brought my son to NYC for long weekends every summer between the ages of 5-16. 
 

Covid broke the streak and we haven’t been since. 
 

But he’s got a ton of great memories of NYC. 

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32 minutes ago, Augie said:

Experiences > Things.

 

We are taking our 9 year old grandson to NYC next weekend. We will see the Harry Potter play, have dinner in Central Park (Tavern on the Green), take the ferry around the Statue of Liberty, see the view of the Chrysler Building and Manhattan skyline from the wife’s office, etc. It would be much less expensive to buy home one of the toys he’s so eager to have, the toys that will be forgotten in a month. His first trip to the Big Apple will stay with him a lifetime. 

 

 

.

 

Awesome!

 

Since you'll be down by Battery Park you might want to check out the Sea Glass carousel (https://www.seaglasscarousel.nyc/). 

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3 hours ago, boyst said:

What do you have?

 

My submission: "a vacation with children is not supposed to be for your relaxation. It is for them and their core memories." A friend last week before we went to the beach.

I somewhat agree with this but, as a child, how far back are your memories for vacations? Children younger than 5-6 will probably have lille or no memory of the vacation. We took our two boys for a beach vacation in France when they were 8-9. We have to remind them or show pics of events that occurred as they have little memory of these.

Edited by Mr Info
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No matter who you are talking to it is pretty much guaranteed that they know more about something than you do.  Just because they are not knowledgeable about what you are, doesn't mean they are stupid.

1 hour ago, Augie said:

Experiences > Things.

 

We are taking our 9 year old grandson to NYC next weekend. We will see the Harry Potter play, have dinner in Central Park (Tavern on the Green), take the ferry around the Statue of Liberty, see the view of the Chrysler Building and Manhattan skyline from the wife’s office, etc. It would be much less expensive to buy home one of the toys he’s so eager to have, the toys that will be forgotten in a month. His first trip to the Big Apple will stay with him a lifetime. 

 

 

.

I don't buy this really.  Often times things can lead to experiences as well...fast cars, boats, off road vehicles, at home entertainment, video games, a pool or living space, whatever...all those products create experiences for people too.  It all depends on the individual and what they want their "experiences" to be.  Some would argue the products are better because you can repeat the experience instead of just trying to remember it.

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2 hours ago, Mark80 said:

No matter who you are talking to it is pretty much guaranteed that they know more about something than you do.  Just because they are not knowledgeable about what you are, doesn't mean they are stupid.

I don't buy this really.  Often times things can lead to experiences as well...fast cars, boats, off road vehicles, at home entertainment, video games, a pool or living space, whatever...all those products create experiences for people too.  It all depends on the individual and what they want their "experiences" to be.  Some would argue the products are better because you can repeat the experience instead of just trying to remember it.

 

Here you are using a product to gain an experience. The product isn’t what you cherish, it is a means to the desired end, the experience. We think of this as an educational gift to him. This will beat the hell out of a new bathing suit or a video game.

 

But you can always argue just about anything if you want to. I think the basic point was pretty clear. 

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3 hours ago, Gugny said:


That’s a great age for him to experience those things. 
 

I brought my son to NYC for long weekends every summer between the ages of 5-16. 
 

Covid broke the streak and we haven’t been since. 
 

But he’s got a ton of great memories of NYC. 

 

My sister’s family decided to skip gifts for anything one year. No birthdays, Mother’s Day , Christmas, etc. They put a pretty good dent in the cost of going to Paris over Christmas break. I seriously doubt anyone could name a gift they got the year before or the year after, but they all remember Paris. 

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From: "29 Things People Try To Warn Others About But They Don’t Listen"

 

Two that stuck out!!!

 

#1:

 

"Letting the culture war distract you. The purpose of the culture war is to be a distraction. We don’t need to worry about pronouns and drag queens. We need to worry about the extremely rich taking advantage of us all."

 

AND....It's probably killing me the last 35 years working swing shift...

 

#4:

 

"Sleep deprivation.

"That s**t'll kill you. Slowly. Painfully. Insidiously. Your body will wear out. Your mind will waste away. You will be sick all the time. Your judgment, self control, and emotional continence will fail with astonishing regularity. You'll develop cognitive decline in your 50s or 60s that shouldn't happen south of 80 or 90. It will destroy your quality of life."

 

 

https://www.boredpanda.com/?s=29+Things+People+Try+To+Warn+Others+About+But+They+Don’t+Listen

 

 

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3 hours ago, Augie said:

 

My sister’s family decided to skip gifts for anything one year. No birthdays, Mother’s Day , Christmas, etc. They put a pretty good dent in the cost of going to Paris over Christmas break. I seriously doubt anyone could name a gift they got the year before or the year after, but they all remember Paris. 

Hilton?

 

Gross

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You often hear the adage, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

I'm quite certain that suggestion is wrong more often than it's right.

 

I always tell my son to weigh the risks against the rewards. "What's the worst-case scenario, and can you accept that if it happens?"

 

 

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25 minutes ago, WhoTom said:

You often hear the adage, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

I'm quite certain that suggestion is wrong more often than it's right.

 

I always tell my son to weigh the risks against the rewards. "What's the worst-case scenario, and can you accept that if it happens?"

 

This is something which I deal with every day at work.  Too many rosy outlooks but deployment teams with each decision being to change technologies or export out part of our system to external vendor (i.e. AWS) and in each case we have issues which before would have been issued in hours take days.  When issue comes up the answer is always "we did not expect that occur but it was a remote possibility" and "there was no time for testing in order to meet deadlines".

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Brush and Floss daily. Take best care of your teeth possible. Dang straight that lil nugget is wisdom 

 

Dental work is MUY expensive.  And older dental  work needs to be replaced. Better not to have any to begin with

 

You can thank me later for more dollars in your bank account for Bills games after retirement.

 

m

 

 

 

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On 7/9/2023 at 10:23 AM, Nextmanup said:

Huh, I've always thought dragging children to adult related "vacation" things is an utter act of futility.  The kids make it miserable for all the adults around them, most parents do not properly parent their children in public spaces any more, at least not in this country, and the kids, if small enough, are going to remember NOTHING of the trip.  I.E., please keep them out of adult cultural point of interest destinations.

 

Parents do crap like that for their own psyche, not the children.  They think they are being a great parent and opening up experiences for their little 5 year old.  Ha!  

 

It's the same reason they make their 6 years old take piano lessons, even though it's quite clear the kid isn't into it, dislikes it, has no propensity for music, and doesn't practice.  But away the kid goes week after week to lessons, and it's all "for the child."  LOL.  It's actually for the parent, quietly getting off on the idea that he/she is raising her precious child correctly.  

 

Now if we are talking about something stupid, like driving a few states to get to a beach with an ocean and letting your little ones build sand castles, fine.  They'll enjoy that.

 

 


I have always felt that my kids appreciated simpler vacations than really fancy ones too. Visiting family; a trip to see the sights in DC; trip to the lake. Don’t think you need to take little kids on these exotic trips they won’t remember. 
 

My wife and I prefer to leave the kids when we are going somewhere nice, so we can relax! 

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On 7/9/2023 at 10:23 AM, Nextmanup said:

Huh, I've always thought dragging children to adult related "vacation" things is an utter act of futility.  The kids make it miserable for all the adults around them, most parents do not properly parent their children in public spaces any more, at least not in this country, and the kids, if small enough, are going to remember NOTHING of the trip.  I.E., please keep them out of adult cultural point of interest destinations.

 

Parents do crap like that for their own psyche, not the children.  They think they are being a great parent and opening up experiences for their little 5 year old.  Ha!  

 

It's the same reason they make their 6 years old take piano lessons, even though it's quite clear the kid isn't into it, dislikes it, has no propensity for music, and doesn't practice.  But away the kid goes week after week to lessons, and it's all "for the child."  LOL.  It's actually for the parent, quietly getting off on the idea that he/she is raising her precious child correctly.  

 

Now if we are talking about something stupid, like driving a few states to get to a beach with an ocean and letting your little ones build sand castles, fine.  They'll enjoy that.

 

 

When we go on vacation with the kids we have expectations limited.

 

We make sure we travel with my parents-in-law. We ask them what they want to do and set very little expectations on what we want to do - we can plan our own vacations or just find solace in the time with them.

 

You are right that parenting is often difficult for other families but it doesn't make it wrong. It is just different. Nothing has changed. There has always been this mentality that today's youth is worse then yesterday's - to where we blame the children, then the parents.

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21 hours ago, Bill from NYC said:

To the many folks who think that moving will completely change their lives:

 

No matter where you go, there YOU are.

i've heard this phrased in a slightly different manner in that zip codes don't make you happy...and it's true.

 

my pearl of wisdom is to not give anyone advice.  if they ask for it sure, but i never, ever lead with that *****.  

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Rather than scanning TSW threads to avoid certain contributors, the 'block' is a much more efficient way of weeding out dissonance.

*
EDIT: And thanks to moderators, I now know why some 4merper4mers are 4merper4mers.

 

Edited by Ridgewaycynic2013
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Never ever get up from the table when you are winning in a casino...house has the edge and you are only winning because of luck...stay till your luck runs out. Does not mean give it all back..means set stepped up amounts for when you leave . Up $1000? Leave if you get to only $800. Up $2500? Leave if ya hit $2000.

 

 

 

 

 

 Outside of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, it is almost a universal truth the public is always wrong.

 

Everyone betting one side in a game? Bet the other.

 

Everyone lined up at one entrance? Most certainly a better one to get in

 

Everyone going left? Right most likely is the better way.

 

 

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