Johnny Hammersticks

I’d let her piss in my coffee...

Like many others have shared, I can’t really eat anything substantial during the game. Wife makes a big breakfast highlighted by her famous (from scratch) bacon/cheddar biscuits and sausage grave. Side of bacon, and my contribution, deluxe bloody marys. For game time we’ll have pigs in a blanket, queso dip and tortilla chips, and my wife’s homemade tomatillo salsa 💃 We’ll order pizza and wings for a late dinner. I have a growler of Hill Farmsted - Edward ready to go. My favorite beer. Also, tequila shots for every touchdown scored by Buffalo 🥴 Have a great day, Bills fans 👍👊💪

I interpreted it as “I’m 100% healthy.” I think this is a healthy scratch due to game planning. Expect a very pass heavy offense today (shocker).

Southern Vermont is filled with stone gathering peasants. 🤣

We Vermonters will advance on @BringBackFergy and his flat-lander degens in the great battle of Fort Ann (the birthplace of the US Navy 🤓).

My penis.

In New England there’s this funny love-hate sentiment toward tourists. Here in Vermont we very much rely on tourism for our economy, yet it seems that everyone always complains about the tourists. They’re rude, they drive too slow, they drive too fast, etc... It’s bizarre and I don’t really understand it.

I’m not saying you’re right or you’re wrong, but I find your candor interesting. My wife started on a gluten and dairy free diet after giving birth to our 2nd child. She has a myriad of conditions including Celiac. I’ll admit when she first told me I was very skeptical, but I have seen what happens to her when she has even a little bit of gluten. It makes her very, very ill. It’s a very real and horrible thing, and I have empathy for those who truly suffer from Celiac. That said, I think there are a lot of folks who just choose to not eat gluten because it’s “a thing.” We were at a lacrosse tournament for our son in Mass this summer. There were about 6 or 7 families staying at the same hotel and a bunch of the parents were hanging around the pool while the kids were swimming and playing. I decided to order some pizzas for the group because we were drinking and no one wanted to drive anywhere. I knew my wife needed a small gluten free with just sauce, meat and veggies. Turns out, only 4 adults out of 13/14 that were there okay with “real” pizza! Everyone else was GF! Was this always the case and folks with celiac or gluten sensitivity just suffered in silence? Is this overblown? I don’t know what to make of this GF phenomenon. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Correlation, not causation. Guys with neatly manicured junk are far more likely to “seal the deal” with a chick. Hence more likely to acquire a STD from getting so much pelt. These full bush guys, once they get the ladies in the bedroom and disrobe, send the girls running for the hills. Most effective form of birth control 😂 Exiled, I bet you have an enormous muff, don’t you?

That’s what happens when you got off the juice and you don’t work out. He-hooters.

My eyes!! 👀

Chemical castration seems like an appropriate consequence.

Good god man! Please keep that thing away from your tender bits! So, you’re Ken doll clean down there?! 😱 Do you shave your coin purse with that thing too?! 😱 I prefer rubbing alcohol for that clean, cool feeling 😎

I just use the ol’ beard and mustache trimmer. No need to get anything fancy. Very carefully trim around my ball bag, and then put on the adjustable guard and take down my bush a bit. You guys who claim to not keep your junk hair trimmed are crazy. Chicks don’t like the Borat look.

That’s really cool!