THE ROCKPILE REVIEW - Buffalo Rises, Again

[Shaw66]

Buffalo.

 

I was born in Buffalo and spent my childhood in Buffalo.  Well, I spent my childhood in Eggertsville, just outside Buffalo, on the city line to the east and north.  By my late twenties, I was married and living in various towns around Hartford, Connecticut.  Ask me where home is, and I’ll tell you I have two homes, Buffalo and Hartford.

 

Buffalo continues to be home to me, even though I have no family and only one good friend in Buffalo.  I own no property there.  It continues to be home to me for two reasons:  The Buffalo Bills and my sister, who lives in Seattle.  My sister because she is more attached to Buffalo than I.  She reads the Buffalo News, for Pete’s sake.  When she and I talk, my attachment to her attaches me to Buffalo. 

 

It's the Bills that make me feel a part of Buffalo, feel like I can call myself a Buffalonian with a straight face, despite the Connecticut addresses where I’ve gotten my mail for the last 50 years.  I lived in Buffalo for only the first seven of the Bills’ history, but I’ve been a fan ever since.  I’ve been a serious fan for the past 20-25 years, and a season ticket holder for about 15.  Being a fan ties me to Buffalo and somehow, almost magically, allows me to feel akin to these people, those fair, honest, hardworking, community-driven, loving people.  And they accept me as one of them, because it’s my birthright, and because of the Bills.  The Bills are near the very core of Buffalo culture, and Buffalo is at the very core of Bills fan culture.

 

Part of the shared Bills-Buffalo culture is heartbreak.  The Bills have a heartbreak list too painful to recite here.  The Bills are one of the very most star-crossed franchises in NFL history and would be in that position even if the only thing that ever had happened to them was to lose four Super Bowls in a row.  Bills fans know the list; if you’re not a football fan, trust me.  It’s ugly.

 

Bills heartbreak is only one category of Buffalo heartbreak.  I’m not the expert, but the nearly total economic collapse in Buffalo, a collapse that began in the fifties and blossomed in the sixties and beyond, was and is an enormous tragedy.  Western New York struggles to overcome the impacts of that collapse, even today.  The national jokes about Buffalo’s weather, no matter how well intentioned, have a psychic reality. 

 

Heartbroken, maybe, but not defeated.  Never defeated.  Buffalo always gets up.  Buffalo always helps its neighbors up.  Buffalonians do it not to survive, but to help their neighbors survive.  They fight hard, and they fight side by side with smiles on their faces.  They’re proud that they always will face the challenge. 

 

Impossible as it might seem, Buffalo heartbreak reached new levels in the past twelve months.  I can’t presume to create the definitive list, but hanging heavy on me have been:

 

The murders at the Topps Market.

 

The apparently-serious health issues that afflicted Bills owner Kim Pegula.

 

The lake-effect snow that moved a Bills home game to Detroit.

 

The devastating Christmas-time blizzard, as devastating as many of the worst hurricanes and wildfires.  The loss of life, the deprivation. 

 

Damar Hamlin’s collapse in the first quarter of the Bengals game. 

 

I’m not suggesting that each of these events was of equal importance or significance.  I am saying only that Buffalonians and the Bills and Bills fans everywhere recently have borne a lot.

 

It’s all taken its toll on me.  I’m grieving for Damar Hamlin, his family, and the team, even though for all I know Damar will make a complete recovery.  I’m grieving for all those people who lost parents and children, spouses and siblings in the blizzard.  I’m grieving for Buffalo’s east side, for the decades of neglect and for the tragedy of the murders. 

 

When Damar Hamlin collapsed, the looks on the faces of Bills players were looks of grief.  This was, for the moment, almost more than they could bear. 

 

Those looks told me that they could not resume the game that night.  Football is no more dangerous than it is only because the physical strength and the commitment to hitting is more or less equal on both sides.  The players’ faces told me that they would not be able to muster the emotional commitment to play the game with maximum physical aggression.  It would be too dangerous to play, because they were emotionally unable to stay focused on hitting and being hit. 

 

The conclusion of the game has not been rescheduled, and it is not at all clear that the game every will be concluded.  For now, the Bills must prepare to play the New England Patriots on Sunday.  Are they emotionally ready to prepare?  I don’t know, but they are Buffalonians, too.  They earn that name every weekend playing for this city.  Ready or not, they will go out and compete, because that’s what Buffalo does.

 

If it were up to me, I’d consider forfeiting the Patriots game, regardless of the playoff consequences, and trying to regroup.  Don’t ask these men and this city to suffer more, not right now.  Regroup and go the playoffs, home or away.  Heck, for my personal well-being, I’d forfeit the playoff game, too.  Let the wounds heal.  Give us all a little time to rest, to take stock, and to let our indomitability take over again.

 

Should I drive 400 miles on Saturday to see the game?  I’m strong enough for the drive, but am I strong enough to survive another day of heartbreak?  And yet, because Sean McDermott, Josh Allen, Stefon Diggs and Tre White, because all the Bills, are Buffalonians, too, they may, they probably will, rise up to deliver the most glorious of wins over everything that’s happened – over the murders and the storms and the tragedy of Demar.

 

Yes, I’ll go.  I’ll go, but I’ll be a different fan this week.  I’ll watch and cheer, like always, but that’s not why I’ll be there.  I’ll be in the stadium to hug this team and to hug this city.  They’ll hug me back.  That’s what we do.

Edited January 5, 2023 by Shaw66

[nosejob]

31 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

Buffalo.

 

I was born in Buffalo and spent my childhood in Buffalo.  Well, I spent my childhood in Eggertsville, just outside Buffalo, on the city line to the east and north.  By my late twenties, I was married and living in various towns around Hartford, Connecticut.  Ask me where home is, and I’ll tell you I have two homes, Buffalo and Hartford.

 

Buffalo continues to be home to me, even though I have no family and only one good friend in Buffalo.  I own no property there.  It continues to be home to me for two reasons:  The Buffalo Bills and my sister, who lives in Seattle.  My sister because she is more attached to Buffalo than I.  She reads the Buffalo News, for Pete’s sake.  When she and I talk, my attachment to her attaches me to Buffalo. 

 

It's the Bills that make me feel a part of Buffalo, feel like I can call myself a Buffalonian with a straight face, despite the Connecticut addresses where I’ve gotten my mail for the last 50 years.  I lived in Buffalo for only the first seven of the Bills’ history, but I’ve been a fan ever since.  I’ve been a serious fan for the past 20-25 years, and a season ticket holder for about 15.  Being a fan ties me to Buffalo and somehow, almost magically, allows me to feel akin to these people, those fair, honest, hardworking, community-driven, loving people.  And they accept me as one of them, because it’s my birthright, and because of the Bills.  The Bills are near the very core of Buffalo culture, and Buffalo is at the very core of Buffalo fan culture.

 

Part of the shared Bills-Buffalo culture is heartbreak.  The Bills have a heartbreak list too painful to recite here.  The Bills are one of the very most star-crossed franchises in NFL history and would be in that position even if the only thing that ever had happened to them was to lose four Super Bowls in a row.  Bills fans know the list; if you’re not a football fan, trust me.  It’s ugly.

 

Bills heartbreak is only one category of Buffalo heartbreak.  I’m not the expert, but the nearly total economic collapse in Buffalo, a collapse that began in the fifties and blossomed in the sixties and beyond, was and is an enormous tragedy.  Western New York struggles to overcome the impacts of that collapse, even today.  The national jokes about Buffalo’s weather, no matter how well intentioned, have a psychic reality. 

 

Heartbroken, maybe, but not defeated.  Never defeated.  Buffalo always gets up.  Buffalo always helps its neighbors up.  Buffalonians do it not to survive, but to help their neighbors survive.  They fight hard, and they fight side by side with smiles on their faces.  They’re proud that they always will face the challenge. 

 

Impossible as it might seem, Buffalo heartbreak reached new levels in the past twelve months.  I can’t presume to create the definitive list, but hanging heavy on me have been:

 

The murders at the Topps Market.

 

The apparently-serious health issues that afflicted Bills owner Kim Pegula.

 

The lake-effect snow that moved a Bills home game to Detroit.

 

The devastating Christmas-time blizzard, as devastating as many of the worst hurricanes and wildfires.  The loss of life, the deprivation. 

 

Demar Hamlin’s collapse in the first quarter of the Bengals game. 

 

I’m not suggesting that each of these events was of equal of importance or significance.  I am saying only that Buffalonians and the Bills and Bills fans everywhere recently have borne a lot.

 

It’s all taken its toll on me.  I’m grieving for Demar Hamlin, his family, and the team, even though for all I know Demar will make a complete recovery.  I’m grieving for all those people who lost parents and children, spouses and siblings in the blizzard.  I’m grieving for Buffalo’s east side, for the decades of neglect and for the tragedy of the murders. 

 

When Demar Hamlin collapsed, the looks on the faces of Bills players were looks of grief.  This was, for the moment, almost more than they could bear. 

 

Those looks told me that they could not resume the game that night.  Football is no more dangerous than it is only because the physical strength and the commitment to hitting is more or less equal on both sides.  The players’ faces told me that they would not be able to muster the emotional commitment to play the game with maximum physical aggression.  It would be too dangerous to play, because they were emotionally unable to stay focused on hitting and being hit. 

 

The conclusion of the game has not been rescheduled, and it is not at all clear that the game every will be concluded.  For now, the Bills must prepare to play the New England Patriots on Sunday.  Are they emotionally ready to prepare?  I don’t know, but they are Buffalonians, too.  They earn that name every weekend playing for this city.  Ready or not, they will go out and compete, because that’s what Buffalo does.

 

If it were up to me, I’d consider forfeiting the Patriots game, regardless of the playoff consequences, and trying to regroup.  Don’t ask these men and this city to suffer more, not right now.  Regroup and go the playoffs, home or away.  Heck, for my personal well-being, I’d forfeit the playoff game, too.  Let the wounds heal.  Give us all a little time to rest, to take stock, and to let our indomitability take over again.

 

Should I drive 400 miles on Saturday to see the game?  I’m strong enough for the drive, but am I strong enough to survive another day of heartbreak?  And yet, because Sean McDermott, Josh Allen, Stefon Diggs and Tre White, because all the Bills, are Buffalonians, too, they may, they probably will, rise up to deliver the most glorious of wins over everything that’s happened – over the murders and the storms and the tragedy of Demar.

 

Yes, I’ll go.  I’ll go, but I’ll be a different fan this week.  I’ll watch and cheer, like always, but that’s not why I’ll be there.  I’ll be in the stadium to hug this team and to hug this city.  They’ll hug me back.  That’s what we do.

I disagree 100% Yes, it was a horrible thing and yes things have come a long way since Kevin Everett, but to deprive dozens or hundreds of players and staff the income they provide for their families as well as freeze their careers in their tracks is the wrong thing to do. The best thing to do is to move on and move forward as compassionately as possible.  The fact that apparently the fan base now has PTSD cannot be allowed to wallow in stagnation and disrupt lives in perpetuity.

 

I hate to sound cold and I'm hoping Damar has a full recovery and prospers, but if fans are messed up and people are talking about throwing in the towel of others livelihoods, that's weak. The rest of the NFL is not going to just stop and does anyone really think Damar and his teamates would or should just give up?

 

 

Edited January 4, 2023 by nosejob

[Chaos]

Mods should pin this and close the thread. perfectly done. 

[RiotAct]

Beautifully said, @Shaw66.

 

One point - I hope they don’t forfeit the Patriots game, and based on the fact that they had practice today it looks like they won’t.   A win would be really beneficial to the healing process for the team, I feel.  Of course, whatever they decide will be more than understandable given the circumstances…

[Shaw66]

23 minutes ago, nosejob said:

I disagree 100% Yes, it was a horrible thing and yes things have come a long way since Kevin Everett, but to deprive dozens or hundreds of players and staff the income they provide for their families as well as freeze their careers in their tracks is the wrong thing to do. The best thing to do is to move on and move forward as compassionately as possible.  The fact that apparently the fan base now has PTSD cannot be allowed to wallow in stagnation and disrupt lives in perpetuity.

 

I hate to sound cold and I'm hoping Damar has a full recovery and prospers, but if fans are messed up and people are talking about throwing in the towel of others livelihoods, that's weak. The rest of the NFL is not going to just stop and does anyone really think Damar and his teamates would or should just give up?

 

 

I think you missed the point.  I wasn't arguing that they SHOULD forfeit.  I was talking about how I feel as a fan, how it feels to have this odd PTSD.   In my perfect world, I'd have a few weeks off.  

 

My guess is that every person in the Bills organization today is thoroughly committed to going forward in these days, doing their jobs as well as they possibly can, while also doing what they need to do to deal with the emotional impacts.  It's what you said - moving forward as compassionately as possible.  Sean McDermott wouldn't have it any other way.

Edited January 4, 2023 by Shaw66

[nosejob]

2 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

I think you missed the point.  I wasn't arguing that they SHOULD forfeit.  I was talking about how I feel as a fan, how it feels to have this odd PTSD.   In my perfect world, I'd have a few weeks off.  

 

My guess is that every person in the Bills organization today is thoroughly committed to going forward in these days, doing their jobs as well as they possibly can, while also doing what they need to do to deal with the emotional impacts.  It's what you said - moving forward as compassionately as possible.  

I get it. I just feel weird that it's so easy to move on from 30 plus people dying Christmas weekend, but a freak accident during a football game causes PTSD to the masses. The media (especially locally) are still combing this over nonstop. Is there any GOFUNDME or out pouring of support for the tragedy of death from the storm?

Nope, it's old news now.

[HOUSE]

Eggertsville is a wonderful place, the smartest people in the world grew up there 

[RiotAct]

3 minutes ago, nosejob said:

I get it. I just feel weird that it's so easy to move on from 30 plus people dying Christmas weekend, but a freak accident during a football game causes PTSD to the masses. The media (especially locally) are still combing this over nonstop. Is there any GOFUNDME or out pouring of support for the tragedy of death from the storm?

Nope, it's old news now.

this doesn’t make it right, but it’s 100% because he literally died on the  field in front of an international audience on Monday Night Football.  

[Don Otreply]

1 hour ago, Shaw66 said:

Buffalo.

 

I was born in Buffalo and spent my childhood in Buffalo.  Well, I spent my childhood in Eggertsville, just outside Buffalo, on the city line to the east and north.  By my late twenties, I was married and living in various towns around Hartford, Connecticut.  Ask me where home is, and I’ll tell you I have two homes, Buffalo and Hartford.

 

Buffalo continues to be home to me, even though I have no family and only one good friend in Buffalo.  I own no property there.  It continues to be home to me for two reasons:  The Buffalo Bills and my sister, who lives in Seattle.  My sister because she is more attached to Buffalo than I.  She reads the Buffalo News, for Pete’s sake.  When she and I talk, my attachment to her attaches me to Buffalo. 

 

It's the Bills that make me feel a part of Buffalo, feel like I can call myself a Buffalonian with a straight face, despite the Connecticut addresses where I’ve gotten my mail for the last 50 years.  I lived in Buffalo for only the first seven of the Bills’ history, but I’ve been a fan ever since.  I’ve been a serious fan for the past 20-25 years, and a season ticket holder for about 15.  Being a fan ties me to Buffalo and somehow, almost magically, allows me to feel akin to these people, those fair, honest, hardworking, community-driven, loving people.  And they accept me as one of them, because it’s my birthright, and because of the Bills.  The Bills are near the very core of Buffalo culture, and Buffalo is at the very core of Buffalo fan culture.

 

Part of the shared Bills-Buffalo culture is heartbreak.  The Bills have a heartbreak list too painful to recite here.  The Bills are one of the very most star-crossed franchises in NFL history and would be in that position even if the only thing that ever had happened to them was to lose four Super Bowls in a row.  Bills fans know the list; if you’re not a football fan, trust me.  It’s ugly.

 

Bills heartbreak is only one category of Buffalo heartbreak.  I’m not the expert, but the nearly total economic collapse in Buffalo, a collapse that began in the fifties and blossomed in the sixties and beyond, was and is an enormous tragedy.  Western New York struggles to overcome the impacts of that collapse, even today.  The national jokes about Buffalo’s weather, no matter how well intentioned, have a psychic reality. 

 

Heartbroken, maybe, but not defeated.  Never defeated.  Buffalo always gets up.  Buffalo always helps its neighbors up.  Buffalonians do it not to survive, but to help their neighbors survive.  They fight hard, and they fight side by side with smiles on their faces.  They’re proud that they always will face the challenge. 

 

Impossible as it might seem, Buffalo heartbreak reached new levels in the past twelve months.  I can’t presume to create the definitive list, but hanging heavy on me have been:

 

The murders at the Topps Market.

 

The apparently-serious health issues that afflicted Bills owner Kim Pegula.

 

The lake-effect snow that moved a Bills home game to Detroit.

 

The devastating Christmas-time blizzard, as devastating as many of the worst hurricanes and wildfires.  The loss of life, the deprivation. 

 

Damar Hamlin’s collapse in the first quarter of the Bengals game. 

 

I’m not suggesting that each of these events was of equal of importance or significance.  I am saying only that Buffalonians and the Bills and Bills fans everywhere recently have borne a lot.

 

It’s all taken its toll on me.  I’m grieving for Damar Hamlin, his family, and the team, even though for all I know Damar will make a complete recovery.  I’m grieving for all those people who lost parents and children, spouses and siblings in the blizzard.  I’m grieving for Buffalo’s east side, for the decades of neglect and for the tragedy of the murders. 

 

When Damar Hamlin collapsed, the looks on the faces of Bills players were looks of grief.  This was, for the moment, almost more than they could bear. 

 

Those looks told me that they could not resume the game that night.  Football is no more dangerous than it is only because the physical strength and the commitment to hitting is more or less equal on both sides.  The players’ faces told me that they would not be able to muster the emotional commitment to play the game with maximum physical aggression.  It would be too dangerous to play, because they were emotionally unable to stay focused on hitting and being hit. 

 

The conclusion of the game has not been rescheduled, and it is not at all clear that the game every will be concluded.  For now, the Bills must prepare to play the New England Patriots on Sunday.  Are they emotionally ready to prepare?  I don’t know, but they are Buffalonians, too.  They earn that name every weekend playing for this city.  Ready or not, they will go out and compete, because that’s what Buffalo does.

 

If it were up to me, I’d consider forfeiting the Patriots game, regardless of the playoff consequences, and trying to regroup.  Don’t ask these men and this city to suffer more, not right now.  Regroup and go the playoffs, home or away.  Heck, for my personal well-being, I’d forfeit the playoff game, too.  Let the wounds heal.  Give us all a little time to rest, to take stock, and to let our indomitability take over again.

 

Should I drive 400 miles on Saturday to see the game?  I’m strong enough for the drive, but am I strong enough to survive another day of heartbreak?  And yet, because Sean McDermott, Josh Allen, Stefon Diggs and Tre White, because all the Bills, are Buffalonians, too, they may, they probably will, rise up to deliver the most glorious of wins over everything that’s happened – over the murders and the storms and the tragedy of Demar.

 

Yes, I’ll go.  I’ll go, but I’ll be a different fan this week.  I’ll watch and cheer, like always, but that’s not why I’ll be there.  I’ll be in the stadium to hug this team and to hug this city.  They’ll hug me back.  That’s what we do.

Shaw, that is a magnificent piece of writing, thank you for having the capacity to put it together so well,

 

GO BILLS!!!

 

🙏 for DH

[oldmanfan]

1 hour ago, Shaw66 said:

Buffalo.

 

I was born in Buffalo and spent my childhood in Buffalo.  Well, I spent my childhood in Eggertsville, just outside Buffalo, on the city line to the east and north.  By my late twenties, I was married and living in various towns around Hartford, Connecticut.  Ask me where home is, and I’ll tell you I have two homes, Buffalo and Hartford.

 

Buffalo continues to be home to me, even though I have no family and only one good friend in Buffalo.  I own no property there.  It continues to be home to me for two reasons:  The Buffalo Bills and my sister, who lives in Seattle.  My sister because she is more attached to Buffalo than I.  She reads the Buffalo News, for Pete’s sake.  When she and I talk, my attachment to her attaches me to Buffalo. 

 

It's the Bills that make me feel a part of Buffalo, feel like I can call myself a Buffalonian with a straight face, despite the Connecticut addresses where I’ve gotten my mail for the last 50 years.  I lived in Buffalo for only the first seven of the Bills’ history, but I’ve been a fan ever since.  I’ve been a serious fan for the past 20-25 years, and a season ticket holder for about 15.  Being a fan ties me to Buffalo and somehow, almost magically, allows me to feel akin to these people, those fair, honest, hardworking, community-driven, loving people.  And they accept me as one of them, because it’s my birthright, and because of the Bills.  The Bills are near the very core of Buffalo culture, and Buffalo is at the very core of Buffalo fan culture.

 

Part of the shared Bills-Buffalo culture is heartbreak.  The Bills have a heartbreak list too painful to recite here.  The Bills are one of the very most star-crossed franchises in NFL history and would be in that position even if the only thing that ever had happened to them was to lose four Super Bowls in a row.  Bills fans know the list; if you’re not a football fan, trust me.  It’s ugly.

 

Bills heartbreak is only one category of Buffalo heartbreak.  I’m not the expert, but the nearly total economic collapse in Buffalo, a collapse that began in the fifties and blossomed in the sixties and beyond, was and is an enormous tragedy.  Western New York struggles to overcome the impacts of that collapse, even today.  The national jokes about Buffalo’s weather, no matter how well intentioned, have a psychic reality. 

 

Heartbroken, maybe, but not defeated.  Never defeated.  Buffalo always gets up.  Buffalo always helps its neighbors up.  Buffalonians do it not to survive, but to help their neighbors survive.  They fight hard, and they fight side by side with smiles on their faces.  They’re proud that they always will face the challenge. 

 

Impossible as it might seem, Buffalo heartbreak reached new levels in the past twelve months.  I can’t presume to create the definitive list, but hanging heavy on me have been:

 

The murders at the Topps Market.

 

The apparently-serious health issues that afflicted Bills owner Kim Pegula.

 

The lake-effect snow that moved a Bills home game to Detroit.

 

The devastating Christmas-time blizzard, as devastating as many of the worst hurricanes and wildfires.  The loss of life, the deprivation. 

 

Damar Hamlin’s collapse in the first quarter of the Bengals game. 

 

I’m not suggesting that each of these events was of equal of importance or significance.  I am saying only that Buffalonians and the Bills and Bills fans everywhere recently have borne a lot.

 

It’s all taken its toll on me.  I’m grieving for Damar Hamlin, his family, and the team, even though for all I know Damar will make a complete recovery.  I’m grieving for all those people who lost parents and children, spouses and siblings in the blizzard.  I’m grieving for Buffalo’s east side, for the decades of neglect and for the tragedy of the murders. 

 

When Damar Hamlin collapsed, the looks on the faces of Bills players were looks of grief.  This was, for the moment, almost more than they could bear. 

 

Those looks told me that they could not resume the game that night.  Football is no more dangerous than it is only because the physical strength and the commitment to hitting is more or less equal on both sides.  The players’ faces told me that they would not be able to muster the emotional commitment to play the game with maximum physical aggression.  It would be too dangerous to play, because they were emotionally unable to stay focused on hitting and being hit. 

 

The conclusion of the game has not been rescheduled, and it is not at all clear that the game every will be concluded.  For now, the Bills must prepare to play the New England Patriots on Sunday.  Are they emotionally ready to prepare?  I don’t know, but they are Buffalonians, too.  They earn that name every weekend playing for this city.  Ready or not, they will go out and compete, because that’s what Buffalo does.

 

If it were up to me, I’d consider forfeiting the Patriots game, regardless of the playoff consequences, and trying to regroup.  Don’t ask these men and this city to suffer more, not right now.  Regroup and go the playoffs, home or away.  Heck, for my personal well-being, I’d forfeit the playoff game, too.  Let the wounds heal.  Give us all a little time to rest, to take stock, and to let our indomitability take over again.

 

Should I drive 400 miles on Saturday to see the game?  I’m strong enough for the drive, but am I strong enough to survive another day of heartbreak?  And yet, because Sean McDermott, Josh Allen, Stefon Diggs and Tre White, because all the Bills, are Buffalonians, too, they may, they probably will, rise up to deliver the most glorious of wins over everything that’s happened – over the murders and the storms and the tragedy of Demar.

 

Yes, I’ll go.  I’ll go, but I’ll be a different fan this week.  I’ll watch and cheer, like always, but that’s not why I’ll be there.  I’ll be in the stadium to hug this team and to hug this city.  They’ll hug me back.  That’s what we do.

You have encapsulated my feelings perfectly.  I grew up across the Boulevard in the Town of Tonawanda.  Went to the first ever game in 1960 as a 4 year old and been a fan ever since, even though my career took me away in 1983.  I am encouraged by some of the news today about Damar.  And what I hope is that the Bills come out on the field Sunday in honor of Damar to the cheers of 60 some thousand supportive fans.  

[WhoTom]

1 hour ago, Shaw66 said:

My guess is that every person in the Bills organization today is thoroughly committed to going forward in these days, doing their jobs as well as they possibly can, while also doing what they need to do to deal with the emotional impacts.  It's what you said - moving forward as compassionately as possible.  Sean McDermott wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I agree. Like you, I also have mixed feelings about the game this Sunday, but I remember that Brett Favre's father died the day before a big game and his mother told him to play because his father would have wanted him to. Likewise, Josh's parents told him to play the day after his grandmother passed away - same reason.

 

These guys are competitors and, even more, they're brothers in arms. None of us can speak for Damar, but I suspect that he'd want the team to play. And if they do, there's no doubt that they'll dedicate the game to him.

 

 

[Joe Ferguson]

 

“Fight on my men,"says Sir Andrew Barton,
I am hurt,but I am not slain;
I'll lay me down and bleed a-while,
And then I'll rise and fight again".”

[AlfaBill]

1 hour ago, Joe Ferguson said:

 

“Fight on my men,"says Sir Andrew Barton,
I am hurt,but I am not slain;
I'll lay me down and bleed a-while,
And then I'll rise and fight again". 
 

this literally made my eyes water. 

[Andy1]

With all the adversity this team and community have been through, it has all forged a tighter bond within the team and between the community and the team.  They have both leaned on each other to get through trying times this year. This team is something special. However and whenever this season ends, I think there is going to be an outpouring of love and appreciation towards the team. 

[AlfaBill]

4 minutes ago, special-teams said:

It's a strong statement.  The Bills need to get off the canvas and fight.

Reminded me of this. 
 

 

[Dr.Sack]

Marv Levy would be proud of Shaw66 for writing this piece.

[LOVEMESOMEBILLS]

7 hours ago, nosejob said:

I get it. I just feel weird that it's so easy to move on from 30 plus people dying Christmas weekend, but a freak accident during a football game causes PTSD to the masses. The media (especially locally) are still combing this over nonstop. Is there any GOFUNDME or out pouring of support for the tragedy of death from the storm?

Nope, it's old news now.

 

 Whether right or wrong. A tragedy you witness, hits you far harder, than a tragedy you're told of. This will always be true.

 

 

 

[buffalo2218]

9 hours ago, Shaw66 said:

Buffalo.

 

I was born in Buffalo and spent my childhood in Buffalo.  Well, I spent my childhood in Eggertsville, just outside Buffalo, on the city line to the east and north.  By my late twenties, I was married and living in various towns around Hartford, Connecticut.  Ask me where home is, and I’ll tell you I have two homes, Buffalo and Hartford.

 

Buffalo continues to be home to me, even though I have no family and only one good friend in Buffalo.  I own no property there.  It continues to be home to me for two reasons:  The Buffalo Bills and my sister, who lives in Seattle.  My sister because she is more attached to Buffalo than I.  She reads the Buffalo News, for Pete’s sake.  When she and I talk, my attachment to her attaches me to Buffalo. 

 

It's the Bills that make me feel a part of Buffalo, feel like I can call myself a Buffalonian with a straight face, despite the Connecticut addresses where I’ve gotten my mail for the last 50 years.  I lived in Buffalo for only the first seven of the Bills’ history, but I’ve been a fan ever since.  I’ve been a serious fan for the past 20-25 years, and a season ticket holder for about 15.  Being a fan ties me to Buffalo and somehow, almost magically, allows me to feel akin to these people, those fair, honest, hardworking, community-driven, loving people.  And they accept me as one of them, because it’s my birthright, and because of the Bills.  The Bills are near the very core of Buffalo culture, and Buffalo is at the very core of Buffalo fan culture.

 

Part of the shared Bills-Buffalo culture is heartbreak.  The Bills have a heartbreak list too painful to recite here.  The Bills are one of the very most star-crossed franchises in NFL history and would be in that position even if the only thing that ever had happened to them was to lose four Super Bowls in a row.  Bills fans know the list; if you’re not a football fan, trust me.  It’s ugly.

 

Bills heartbreak is only one category of Buffalo heartbreak.  I’m not the expert, but the nearly total economic collapse in Buffalo, a collapse that began in the fifties and blossomed in the sixties and beyond, was and is an enormous tragedy.  Western New York struggles to overcome the impacts of that collapse, even today.  The national jokes about Buffalo’s weather, no matter how well intentioned, have a psychic reality. 

 

Heartbroken, maybe, but not defeated.  Never defeated.  Buffalo always gets up.  Buffalo always helps its neighbors up.  Buffalonians do it not to survive, but to help their neighbors survive.  They fight hard, and they fight side by side with smiles on their faces.  They’re proud that they always will face the challenge. 

 

Impossible as it might seem, Buffalo heartbreak reached new levels in the past twelve months.  I can’t presume to create the definitive list, but hanging heavy on me have been:

 

The murders at the Topps Market.

 

The apparently-serious health issues that afflicted Bills owner Kim Pegula.

 

The lake-effect snow that moved a Bills home game to Detroit.

 

The devastating Christmas-time blizzard, as devastating as many of the worst hurricanes and wildfires.  The loss of life, the deprivation. 

 

Damar Hamlin’s collapse in the first quarter of the Bengals game. 

 

I’m not suggesting that each of these events was of equal of importance or significance.  I am saying only that Buffalonians and the Bills and Bills fans everywhere recently have borne a lot.

 

It’s all taken its toll on me.  I’m grieving for Damar Hamlin, his family, and the team, even though for all I know Damar will make a complete recovery.  I’m grieving for all those people who lost parents and children, spouses and siblings in the blizzard.  I’m grieving for Buffalo’s east side, for the decades of neglect and for the tragedy of the murders. 

 

When Damar Hamlin collapsed, the looks on the faces of Bills players were looks of grief.  This was, for the moment, almost more than they could bear. 

 

Those looks told me that they could not resume the game that night.  Football is no more dangerous than it is only because the physical strength and the commitment to hitting is more or less equal on both sides.  The players’ faces told me that they would not be able to muster the emotional commitment to play the game with maximum physical aggression.  It would be too dangerous to play, because they were emotionally unable to stay focused on hitting and being hit. 

 

The conclusion of the game has not been rescheduled, and it is not at all clear that the game every will be concluded.  For now, the Bills must prepare to play the New England Patriots on Sunday.  Are they emotionally ready to prepare?  I don’t know, but they are Buffalonians, too.  They earn that name every weekend playing for this city.  Ready or not, they will go out and compete, because that’s what Buffalo does.

 

If it were up to me, I’d consider forfeiting the Patriots game, regardless of the playoff consequences, and trying to regroup.  Don’t ask these men and this city to suffer more, not right now.  Regroup and go the playoffs, home or away.  Heck, for my personal well-being, I’d forfeit the playoff game, too.  Let the wounds heal.  Give us all a little time to rest, to take stock, and to let our indomitability take over again.

 

Should I drive 400 miles on Saturday to see the game?  I’m strong enough for the drive, but am I strong enough to survive another day of heartbreak?  And yet, because Sean McDermott, Josh Allen, Stefon Diggs and Tre White, because all the Bills, are Buffalonians, too, they may, they probably will, rise up to deliver the most glorious of wins over everything that’s happened – over the murders and the storms and the tragedy of Demar.

 

Yes, I’ll go.  I’ll go, but I’ll be a different fan this week.  I’ll watch and cheer, like always, but that’s not why I’ll be there.  I’ll be in the stadium to hug this team and to hug this city.  They’ll hug me back.  That’s what we do.

Chef's kiss on this writeup Shaw. Ever since the days on the BBMB, I've always read your work, and yes, I consider it work. Your time and effort in to writing these posts are always appreciated. As for the bolded part, while I may not be from Buffalo or even know a soul there, I'm quite sure you have more friends there than you realize. Thanks again for all you've done up to this point

[TampaBillsJunkie]

That was beautiful. It sums up my journey as well. I spent years 1-18 in Buffalo and have carried Buffalo in my heart ever since. I'll never let go.

[Stuartjohn]

10 hours ago, Joe Ferguson said:

 

“Fight on my men,"says Sir Andrew Barton,
I am hurt,but I am not slain;
I'll lay me down and bleed a-while,
And then I'll rise and fight again".”

Wasn’t this Poem one that “ Marv  Levy used after one of the Bills SB Losses”?

[EasternOHBillsFan]

14 hours ago, nosejob said:

I disagree 100% Yes, it was a horrible thing and yes things have come a long way since Kevin Everett, but to deprive dozens or hundreds of players and staff the income they provide for their families as well as freeze their careers in their tracks is the wrong thing to do. The best thing to do is to move on and move forward as compassionately as possible.  The fact that apparently the fan base now has PTSD cannot be allowed to wallow in stagnation and disrupt lives in perpetuity.

 

I hate to sound cold and I'm hoping Damar has a full recovery and prospers, but if fans are messed up and people are talking about throwing in the towel of others livelihoods, that's weak. The rest of the NFL is not going to just stop and does anyone really think Damar and his teamates would or should just give up?

 

 

 

Do us all a favor and JUST STOP TALKING. If you are calling people weak for caring about another human being who is still in a medically induced coma and caring more about football, JUST STOP TALKING.

Edited January 5, 2023 by EasternOHBillsFan

[EasternOHBillsFan]

14 hours ago, Shaw66 said:

I think you missed the point.  I wasn't arguing that they SHOULD forfeit.  I was talking about how I feel as a fan, how it feels to have this odd PTSD.   In my perfect world, I'd have a few weeks off.  

 

My guess is that every person in the Bills organization today is thoroughly committed to going forward in these days, doing their jobs as well as they possibly can, while also doing what they need to do to deal with the emotional impacts.  It's what you said - moving forward as compassionately as possible.  Sean McDermott wouldn't have it any other way.

 

You told it so beautifully and I'm sorry you had to respond to this nonsense. People who have not lived through tragedy and had to do their job afterwards with no break will never understand. I did that a couple of times in the Navy and had no chance to process tragedy. To this day I regret not taking the time.

[Big Turk]

 

[Mr. WEO]

14 hours ago, RiotAct said:

this doesn’t make it right, but it’s 100% because he literally died on the  field in front of an international audience on Monday Night Football.  

 

I wish posters would stop saying this.

 

He obviously didn't. 

[Big Turk]

14 hours ago, nosejob said:

I get it. I just feel weird that it's so easy to move on from 30 plus people dying Christmas weekend, but a freak accident during a football game causes PTSD to the masses. The media (especially locally) are still combing this over nonstop. Is there any GOFUNDME or out pouring of support for the tragedy of death from the storm?

Nope, it's old news now.

 

It's because we didn't actually view any of those people dying during the blizzard

[CSBill]

Perfectly said, @Shaw66  Thank you for eloquently putting into words what we are all feeling. Your best ever.

 

"Fight on!"

[NC Lifelong Bills fan]

Somehow I knew you were going to express yourself eloquently and express your love for both Buffalo and this unnerving tragedy. Your piece is masterful. There seems to be some very positive news about Damar this morning! For those of us who have lived in Buffalo 🦬 for a short period of our lives, in my case 1970-1982, I still consider it to be home in my heart. Truly. I brag to my NC friends that the folks in Buffalo are the most genuine and loving of all people where I’ve lived (CT, Buffalo then NC). We were there for the Blizzard of ‘77, my two kids were born at Sisters and Millard Fillmore Suburban, I taught at 3 schools during those 12 years. I love the city and this team, which was part of the foundation of my 52 years of marriage. My husband died from Leukemia 14 months ago, and my children and their children continue the religion of Bills football with every game. I’ve had DIRECTV and have almost never missed a game since 2000.

 

Shaw, you reduced me to happy, reminiscent tears. Let the chips fall where they may with all these decisions that are out of our control, and may the team that I love, in the City that I love, prevail forever. Go Bills! Hold our heads high and our spirits strong!

[Joe Ferguson]

3 hours ago, Stuartjohn said:

Wasn’t this Poem one that “ Marv  Levy used after one of the Bills SB Losses”?

Yes it was. It was one of the reasom they were motivated to get to 4 super bowls in a row.

[Kwai San]

16 hours ago, nosejob said:

I get it. I just feel weird that it's so easy to move on from 30 plus people dying Christmas weekend, but a freak accident during a football game causes PTSD to the masses. The media (especially locally) are still combing this over nonstop. Is there any GOFUNDME or out pouring of support for the tragedy of death from the storm?

Nope, it's old news now.

I think you are missing the point here.

 

A- this is a cumulative effect, not a one instance effect

B- the lives lost in the blizzard were not televised on National TV

C- the lives lost in the blizzard and the shootings for that matter were not people that we as fans are emotionally and in some cases financially attached too.

 

Try a little compassion in your life - it might help.

[Irv]

17 hours ago, Shaw66 said:

Buffalo.

 

I was born in Buffalo and spent my childhood in Buffalo.  Well, I spent my childhood in Eggertsville, just outside Buffalo, on the city line to the east and north.  By my late twenties, I was married and living in various towns around Hartford, Connecticut.  Ask me where home is, and I’ll tell you I have two homes, Buffalo and Hartford.

 

Buffalo continues to be home to me, even though I have no family and only one good friend in Buffalo.  I own no property there.  It continues to be home to me for two reasons:  The Buffalo Bills and my sister, who lives in Seattle.  My sister because she is more attached to Buffalo than I.  She reads the Buffalo News, for Pete’s sake.  When she and I talk, my attachment to her attaches me to Buffalo. 

 

It's the Bills that make me feel a part of Buffalo, feel like I can call myself a Buffalonian with a straight face, despite the Connecticut addresses where I’ve gotten my mail for the last 50 years.  I lived in Buffalo for only the first seven of the Bills’ history, but I’ve been a fan ever since.  I’ve been a serious fan for the past 20-25 years, and a season ticket holder for about 15.  Being a fan ties me to Buffalo and somehow, almost magically, allows me to feel akin to these people, those fair, honest, hardworking, community-driven, loving people.  And they accept me as one of them, because it’s my birthright, and because of the Bills.  The Bills are near the very core of Buffalo culture, and Buffalo is at the very core of Bills fan culture.

 

Part of the shared Bills-Buffalo culture is heartbreak.  The Bills have a heartbreak list too painful to recite here.  The Bills are one of the very most star-crossed franchises in NFL history and would be in that position even if the only thing that ever had happened to them was to lose four Super Bowls in a row.  Bills fans know the list; if you’re not a football fan, trust me.  It’s ugly.

 

Bills heartbreak is only one category of Buffalo heartbreak.  I’m not the expert, but the nearly total economic collapse in Buffalo, a collapse that began in the fifties and blossomed in the sixties and beyond, was and is an enormous tragedy.  Western New York struggles to overcome the impacts of that collapse, even today.  The national jokes about Buffalo’s weather, no matter how well intentioned, have a psychic reality. 

 

Heartbroken, maybe, but not defeated.  Never defeated.  Buffalo always gets up.  Buffalo always helps its neighbors up.  Buffalonians do it not to survive, but to help their neighbors survive.  They fight hard, and they fight side by side with smiles on their faces.  They’re proud that they always will face the challenge. 

 

Impossible as it might seem, Buffalo heartbreak reached new levels in the past twelve months.  I can’t presume to create the definitive list, but hanging heavy on me have been:

 

The murders at the Topps Market.

 

The apparently-serious health issues that afflicted Bills owner Kim Pegula.

 

The lake-effect snow that moved a Bills home game to Detroit.

 

The devastating Christmas-time blizzard, as devastating as many of the worst hurricanes and wildfires.  The loss of life, the deprivation. 

 

Damar Hamlin’s collapse in the first quarter of the Bengals game. 

 

I’m not suggesting that each of these events was of equal importance or significance.  I am saying only that Buffalonians and the Bills and Bills fans everywhere recently have borne a lot.

 

It’s all taken its toll on me.  I’m grieving for Damar Hamlin, his family, and the team, even though for all I know Damar will make a complete recovery.  I’m grieving for all those people who lost parents and children, spouses and siblings in the blizzard.  I’m grieving for Buffalo’s east side, for the decades of neglect and for the tragedy of the murders. 

 

When Damar Hamlin collapsed, the looks on the faces of Bills players were looks of grief.  This was, for the moment, almost more than they could bear. 

 

Those looks told me that they could not resume the game that night.  Football is no more dangerous than it is only because the physical strength and the commitment to hitting is more or less equal on both sides.  The players’ faces told me that they would not be able to muster the emotional commitment to play the game with maximum physical aggression.  It would be too dangerous to play, because they were emotionally unable to stay focused on hitting and being hit. 

 

The conclusion of the game has not been rescheduled, and it is not at all clear that the game every will be concluded.  For now, the Bills must prepare to play the New England Patriots on Sunday.  Are they emotionally ready to prepare?  I don’t know, but they are Buffalonians, too.  They earn that name every weekend playing for this city.  Ready or not, they will go out and compete, because that’s what Buffalo does.

 

If it were up to me, I’d consider forfeiting the Patriots game, regardless of the playoff consequences, and trying to regroup.  Don’t ask these men and this city to suffer more, not right now.  Regroup and go the playoffs, home or away.  Heck, for my personal well-being, I’d forfeit the playoff game, too.  Let the wounds heal.  Give us all a little time to rest, to take stock, and to let our indomitability take over again.

 

Should I drive 400 miles on Saturday to see the game?  I’m strong enough for the drive, but am I strong enough to survive another day of heartbreak?  And yet, because Sean McDermott, Josh Allen, Stefon Diggs and Tre White, because all the Bills, are Buffalonians, too, they may, they probably will, rise up to deliver the most glorious of wins over everything that’s happened – over the murders and the storms and the tragedy of Demar.

 

Yes, I’ll go.  I’ll go, but I’ll be a different fan this week.  I’ll watch and cheer, like always, but that’s not why I’ll be there.  I’ll be in the stadium to hug this team and to hug this city.  They’ll hug me back.  That’s what we do.

 

That is so well written.  Thank you!

[Kwai San]

1 hour ago, Mr. WEO said:

 

I wish posters would stop saying this.

 

He obviously didn't. 

 

Respectfully - I don't agree with your statement. 

 

When your heart stops beating, you die.  He was obviously very lucky to have the medical personnel there to get his heart beating again.  Hence bringing him "back to life".  As I understand this happened twice, on the field and once in the ambulance.  Have you ever been present, physically present when the paddles are applied to someone's chest to restart the heart?  Did you get that last part, restart the heart.  Yeah the young man was dead.  Not for long but had the medical personnel not been there in time, he would have most certainly never had the heart restarted.  So yeah he was dead.

[Mr. WEO]

21 minutes ago, Kwai San said:

 

Respectfully - I don't agree with your statement. 

 

When your heart stops beating, you die.  He was obviously very lucky to have the medical personnel there to get his heart beating again.  Hence bringing him "back to life".  As I understand this happened twice, on the field and once in the ambulance.  Have you ever been present, physically present when the paddles are applied to someone's chest to restart the heart?  Did you get that last part, restart the heart.  Yeah the young man was dead.  Not for long but had the medical personnel not been there in time, he would have most certainly never had the heart restarted.  So yeah he was dead.

Ive applied those paddles….

 

he didn’t die and was never dead.

[Kwai San]

14 minutes ago, Mr. WEO said:

Ive applied those paddles….

 

he didn’t die and was never dead.

 

OK - when then are you dead?

[RoyBatty is alive]

17 hours ago, nosejob said:

I get it. I just feel weird that it's so easy to move on from 30 plus people dying Christmas weekend, but a freak accident during a football game causes PTSD to the masses. The media (especially locally) are still combing this over nonstop. Is there any GOFUNDME or out pouring of support for the tragedy of death from the storm?

Nope, it's old news now.

You will be pilloried for your frank and honest discussion here no matter how true it is.

 

 

You are spot on, people/fans are suffering from PTSD over Damar, I admit I am and I expect over time to "get over it".

[Mr. WEO]

2 hours ago, Kwai San said:

 

OK - when then are you dead?

 

i'll let you know..

[Beast]

3 hours ago, Kwai San said:

 

OK - when then are you dead?

I’d say, being a normal Joe, you are dead when external means to keep you alive no longer work.

[Shaw66]

2 minutes ago, Beast said:

I’d say, being a normal Joe, you are dead when external means to keep you alive no longer work.

Not that this thread is about the subject, but I agree with you.  You're dead when there's nothing else to be done. 

 

But the distinction doesn't really matter.  The faces of the players told me that they understood that they were witnessing either death or imminent death, and the emotional impact on them was the same either way.  

[Figster]

8 minutes ago, Beast said:

I’d say, being a normal Joe, you are dead when external means to keep you alive no longer work.

Along with no brain activity perhaps

 

Thanks Shaww, for putting into words the plight of a Buffalonian the way nobody else can.

 

Its probably safe to say the Buffalo Bills have become America's football team

Edited January 5, 2023 by Figster

[Beast]

4 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

Not that this thread is about the subject, but I agree with you.  You're dead when there's nothing else to be done. 

 

But the distinction doesn't really matter.  The faces of the players told me that they understood that they were witnessing either death or imminent death, and the emotional impact on them was the same either way.  

I think everyone would agree with that. I told my wife I was afraid we just saw a player die when I saw those faces. That was before we knew CPR was administered.

[Kwai San]

6 hours ago, Mr. WEO said:

 

i'll let you know..

 

So basically you don't know and you like me are offering an opinion.  One that could or could not be right. 

 

I'm serious though - if you applied paddles before then that indicates to me you are in the medical profession.  So surely in your vast educational experience and studies you would know the answer.  No?