Do you get along with your parents?

[Another Fan]

For the most part I do.  Still live with them.  There’s certain things I disagree with them but imagine that’s normal to an extent.  When my Dad had some health scares earlier this year obviously I was there for him.

 

But I know sometimes it can be a complicated thing 

[Punching Bag]

My father I barely deal with. He abandoned family for a woman he met when working/travelling (he was a cross country mover).  He has retired and back in WNY.  Some family members deal with, mostly younger ones, but older ones like me not so much.

 

My step-mother, who I have always treated like my mother, have gotten along well most of life once she realized her son could stand on his own.  We even took her on vacation to Hong Kong for a wedding.  She is in assisted living home and not healthy and hard to get in touch with now.  She does not hear cell phone and is very distant.

[mead107]

Can’t answer.  Passed away years ago. 

[plenzmd1]

41 minutes ago, Another Fan said:

For the most part I do.  Still live with them.  There’s certain things I disagree with them but imagine that’s normal to an extent.  When my Dad had some health scares earlier this year obviously I was there for him.

 

But I know sometimes it can be a complicated thing 

always did while they were alive..loved spending time with them , and my whole extended family. Holidays were never a chore, they were the best times of the year!

 

Struggling with my son right now as we are not getting along so well.and it sucks..

[DrDawkinstein]

I live 1000 miles away from them, so I get along with them pretty well nowadays.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

My Father is like my best friend.  My Mother is crazy...so much so that I won’t let her near my children unsupervised.  My stepmother is just an awful person in general.  I tolerate her because my dad apparently loves her and she’s a pretty good grandmother to my children.

 

 

[Gugny]

I get along extremely well with both of my parents.  They live a 6 minute drive away from my house.  I try to see them every weekend.  I call my mom just about every night.

[KD in CA]

Yes, very well.  They all came to visit me after I won the lottery.

[teef]

i get along great with my parents, and they were the primary reason i wanted to be in this area.  they're both 79 now, and i want to make sure they're well taken care of.  we see them at least once a week for playtime with the grand kids.  I've always felt i've won the parent lottery.  they set me and my brother up for success.  all we had to do was work hard.

[Irv]

Father died when I was 13.  Mother was very distant and demeaning - also deceased.  So one unknown,  and the other definitely no. 

 

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by Irv

[The Jokeman]

1 hour ago, Another Fan said:

For the most part I do.  Still live with them.  There’s certain things I disagree with them but imagine that’s normal to an extent.  When my Dad had some health scares earlier this year obviously I was there for him.

 

But I know sometimes it can be a complicated thing 

Me and my dad have always been tight, we rarely argue. My mom is another story. We did closer the older I got and guess understand her more in my elder age but sometimes she's stuck in her ways and very difficult to deal with, case in point my upcoming wedding. She thinks because she's help paying for part of it that she should have a say about the seating arrangement, yet my dad (their divorced) and bride to be's mom (she's a widow) also have helped pay but made not comments on the seating chart whatsoever. I've told her this and that I'm a grown man that I know how to sit people that know each other/are related together etc. Yet again she thinks she knows better. Yet at the end of the day I still love them both. 

[Gary M]

Dad died when I was 2 , see my mom about every day

[Gugny]

21 minutes ago, teef said:

i get along great with my parents, and they were the primary reason i wanted to be in this area.  they're both 79 now, and i want to make sure they're well taken care of.  we see them at least once a week for playtime with the grand kids.  I've always felt i've won the parent lottery.  they set me and my brother up for success.  all we had to do was work hard.

 

My parents live a short walk from the high school that my son attends.  He goes there every day after school to hang out with them for an hour or two, then they bring him home.  My parents have five grandchildren.  My sister lives about 45 minutes away; she brings her son over every month or so.  My brother has three kids (one is in PA, one in Syracuse and one going to school at Oswego).  Those kids never had crap to do with my parents and still don't.  They come home (20 min. from my parents) and never go see my parents.  But you can bet your sweet ass they come over on Christmas Eve to get the envelope with money in it.  I never tell my son to go visit my parents.  He just does it because he loves them.  Makes me very proud and it makes them very happy.

[DC Tom]

  Take a wild guess...

[ExiledInIllinois]

9 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

My parents live a short walk from the high school that my son attends.  He goes there every day after school to hang out with them for an hour or two, then they bring him home.  My parents have five grandchildren.  My sister lives about 45 minutes away; she brings her son over every month or so.  My brother has three kids (one is in PA, one in Syracuse and one going to school at Oswego).  Those kids never had crap to do with my parents and still don't.  They come home (20 min. from my parents) and never go see my parents.  But you can bet your sweet ass they come over on Christmas Eve to get the envelope with money in it.  I never tell my son to go visit my parents.  He just does it because he loves them.  Makes me very proud and it makes them very happy.

Maybe they will be found someday... Even if it's only on Christmas Eve.

 

There is the parable of the "prodigal son."

 

"You are ever with me, and all that I have is yours, but thy younger brother was lost and now he is found".

4 minutes ago, DC Tom said:

  Take a wild guess...

You were raised by wolves?

[snafu]

5 minutes ago, DC Tom said:

  Take a wild guess...

 

Never pictured you having parents.

More like a team of people with doctorate degrees.

 

[BritBill]

My Dad is a legend. A quiet private man who doesn’t show emotion very often but his actions are always loud. Always there for all 4 of his kids. It’s always great to catch up with him every couple of weeks and grab a soccer game together. He’s battled cancer twice but to look at him you wouldn’t think so. When I became a father I had a perfect model to learn from.

 

My mother is a bit more obvious with her affection. We text almost every day even though I’m nearly 40. I get to see her every couple of weeks or so. She’s 60 next year and has also won a cancer fight. So proud of her. 

[H2o]

My father passed away last July from cancer. I loved him and we were on alright terms, but throughout life it was hit or miss with him being a part of it. He fell off the map for 4 years when I was 9 and showed back up when I was 13, even though he only lived about 8 miles away with my stepmother and her kids. He hung around until I graduated then life kept us apart for the next 5 years. He then moved to South Carolina for the next 7 years returning when my 2nd son was born. After that it seemed he was trying to make up for lost time and we were really close for a while. He was always coming over to eat dinner with us and playing with the kids. About 3 years of that and he met a woman he would begin dating. I read her like a book in the beginning, but gave her the benefit of the doubt. After about 2 years she began to cause a divide between us in various ways. For the last 2 years of his life we only spoke a handful of times. When she called me and said the doctor was only giving him 24 hours lo live I was right by his side. There were a lot of things that took place after that within those 24 hours. Very unsettling actions, statements, and conversations I either witnessed or was a part of. What I do know in all of that is I was there with my father when he passed. I made sure he was made comfortable in the ways I knew possible and even put my phone up to his ear playing some of his favorite songs so he could hear them one last time. 

 

I get along with my mother and stepfather seeing them on a regular basis. They raised me pretty much so things are a bit different. I couldn't live with them as I am too independent and have particular ways about how I keep things. We are different in those respects so the 45 minute distance between us works out fine. 

[teef]

32 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

My parents live a short walk from the high school that my son attends.  He goes there every day after school to hang out with them for an hour or two, then they bring him home.  My parents have five grandchildren.  My sister lives about 45 minutes away; she brings her son over every month or so.  My brother has three kids (one is in PA, one in Syracuse and one going to school at Oswego).  Those kids never had crap to do with my parents and still don't.  They come home (20 min. from my parents) and never go see my parents.  But you can bet your sweet ass they come over on Christmas Eve to get the envelope with money in it.  I never tell my son to go visit my parents.  He just does it because he loves them.  Makes me very proud and it makes them very happy.

that's great.  i want my kids to have that relationship with my parents too.  unfortunately my parents had me when they were older, and i had my kids when i was older, so they won't be able to see them in the teenage years.  i moved to a different suburb, but i always see them once a week.  my brother lives about 4 minutes away from them, and they'll go weeks without seeing his kids.  i don't get it.  everyone gets along, and i know his kids are in activities, but how in the world can you live so close, and go weeks without seeing each other.  we don't make a big deal out of our meet up once a week...it's usually a dinner together.  it doesn't take much to stay connected.

[Gray Beard]

My parents passed away years ago.  I got along with them great as an adult.  They were strict and intentionally unfriendly when we were growing up.  We did things as a family, but they were in charge, they were not our “friends” until we were much older.  They also never lived near me after I graduated from college, so we only talked on the phone every few weeks and visited about once a year.

 

My wife and her parents just bicker.  They live about a mile away, and that access means that they don’t savor each other’s company.  Everybody in my wife’s family is opinionated and closed minded.  It’s hard to be around them.

[rockpile]

I would need to contact them through a medium. I never really knew them.

 

 

I get along with my adult children. 

Edited September 11, 2019 by rockpile

[The Poojer]

Did and still do....

[Gugny]

44 minutes ago, teef said:

that's great.  i want my kids to have that relationship with my parents too.  unfortunately my parents had me when they were older, and i had my kids when i was older, so they won't be able to see them in the teenage years.  i moved to a different suburb, but i always see them once a week.  my brother lives about 4 minutes away from them, and they'll go weeks without seeing his kids.  i don't get it.  everyone gets along, and i know his kids are in activities, but how in the world can you live so close, and go weeks without seeing each other.  we don't make a big deal out of our meet up once a week...it's usually a dinner together.  it doesn't take much to stay connected.

 

Exactly.  I'd say 2-3 nights/week, my conversations with my mom are me listening to her tell me how sad she is that her brother and his kids don't see them. 

[DaBillsFanSince1973]

mom has been gone for 9 years. before she passed we got along very well, she really was my rock in the down times in my life.

 

relationship with my dad has always been rocky and I can't stand the ground my step mother walks on. she is the primary reason my dad and I have a poor relationship. she pretty much gave him an ultimatum, it was her and her kids over his from my mother. I was a young 10 years old when my mom and dad divorced and missed out having a real father figure growing up which unfortunately led to a pretty rebellious childhood. after growing up and becoming a dad myself I learned much from the poor relationship and made sure, even after my own divorce, that my child was priority one and I was there for her and even now in her adult life, I'm still there for her. so if anything, he taught me what it was like to be without a dad and the lesson being the total opposite in becoming a responsible, caring father and now grandfather.

 

shame, he's past 80 and time is not on his side but I accepted long ago the choices he made, were his.

Edited September 11, 2019 by DaBillsFanSince1973

[row_33]

yup, both in mid-70s in great health, the earliest natural death was 77 for the last 3 generations.

 

better get along, they have another 20 years to go...

 

 

[teef]

51 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

Exactly.  I'd say 2-3 nights/week, my conversations with my mom are me listening to her tell me how sad she is that her brother and his kids don't see them. 

oh...that's not good.  have you or can you speak to him about it?  some people are not open to that kind of conversation.

[row_33]

29 minutes ago, teef said:

oh...that's not good.  have you or can you speak to him about it?  some people are not open to that kind of conversation.

 

people.....

 

don't go on Skype so she can see you totally zoning out through the weather, illnesses of 80-year olds you never met.... yadda yadda yadda

 

 

[NoHuddleKelly12]

My parents are polar opposites, but I get along with both, just in different ways. My mom is basically a saint, has been my entire life, and I owe her the world basically in terms of what she's put up with in successfully raising 5 children, while maintaining her constant good cheer. My father who grew up in the difficult days of wartime and then post-war Germany (my grandfather was an ex-soldier who believed that he had to raise his own son in such a way as to steel him mentally against the horrors of any future war--he later was on record as saying he regretted how tough he was on my father), learned to never openly show loving emotion, and to this day still cannot bring himself to say the "L" word to any of us grown kids. That said, he was always the hard-working provider and man of good deeds, which is how he showed us that he loved us, and we've accepted that's just his way, as we've grown older. For the past decade, he's rented a house in Myrtle Beach each summer for the entire extended family to meet up at and have a reunion of sorts for a week at a time, and that's become a treasured tradition. With my own kids, I have to tell them daily that I love them, until they tell me enough already!    

[ExiledInIllinois]

8 minutes ago, NoHuddleKelly12 said:

My parents are polar opposites, but I get along with both, just in different ways. My mom is basically a saint, has been my entire life, and I owe her the world basically in terms of what she's put up with in successfully raising 5 children, while maintaining her constant good cheer. My father who grew up in the difficult days of wartime and then post-war Germany (my grandfather was an ex-soldier who believed that he had to raise his own son in such a way as to steel him mentally against the horrors of any future war--he later was on record as saying he regretted how tough he was on my father), learned to never openly show loving emotion, and to this day still cannot bring himself to say the "L" word to any of us grown kids. That said, he was always the hard-working provider and man of good deeds, which is how he showed us that he loved us, and we've accepted that's just his way, as we've grown older. For the past decade, he's rented a house in Myrtle Beach each summer for the entire extended family to meet up at and have a reunion of sorts for a week at a time, and that's become a treasured tradition. With my own kids, I have to tell them daily that I love them, until they tell me enough already!    

So your grandfather was a German soldier.  Who'd he fight?  Americans or Soviets?

 

Anyway... It was the era... Lot of men were like that! Till @Gugny came along and broke the WAF mold!  LoL... Just busting on you Gug!

[NoHuddleKelly12]

6 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

So your grandfather was a German soldier.  Who'd he fight?  Americans or Soviets?

 

Anyway... It was the era... Lot of men were like that! Till @Gugny came along and broke the WAF mold!  LoL... Just busting on you Gug!

He spent his entire military career in the East from '41 on through the end of the war, then eventually escaped from a Soviet POW camp in '46. That probably saved his life, to be frank. Most in that situation did not ever see home again. Mother's side grandfather--was on both major fronts, ended the war in an American POW camp, was repatriated after about a year. He eventually became a US citizen in the 70's, as well as best friends with some former GI's, which was cool for me to see as a youngster.     

[row_33]

16 minutes ago, NoHuddleKelly12 said:

He spent his entire military career in the East from '41 on through the end of the war, then eventually escaped from a Soviet POW camp in '46. That probably saved his life, to be frank. Most in that situation did not ever see home again. Mother's side grandfather--was on both major fronts, ended the war in an American POW camp, was repatriated after about a year. He eventually became a US citizen in the 70's, as well as best friends with some former GI's, which was cool for me to see as a youngster.     

 

wow....

 

at the cottage of my youth in the 1970s, a Russian emigrant was my friend and his grandpa sat quietly in a rocking chair on the sunporch all day long.

 

on the mantle was photos of him in uniform, a USSR tank commander, hi-lited at freaking Kursk

 

what i would ask him today if he were still around, starting with how the heck he wound up summering on Lake Simcoe..... 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by row_33

[ExiledInIllinois]

8 minutes ago, NoHuddleKelly12 said:

He spent his entire military career in the East from '41 on through the end of the war, then eventually escaped from a Soviet POW camp in '46. That probably saved his life, to be frank. Most in that situation did not ever see home again. Mother's side grandfather--was on both major fronts, ended the war in an American POW camp, was repatriated after about a year. He eventually became a US citizen in the 70's, as well as best friends with some former GI's, which was cool for me to see as a youngster.     

My next door neighbor, Serbian... Was conscripted by the Germans.  He came here in early 1950s after fighting Tito in the mountains of Serbia (Yugoslavia).  Grew up 12km from where Tesla was born.

 

Worked the rest of life at Ford in S.Chicago since the US brought him here... About 40 years. He collected a small German war pension till he passed away in 2012.

 

He was on the Eastern Front, fighting Soviets... Allies yes... But better than killing Americans.

 

His wife is 95.  Still kicking and living two houses down from me.  She just stopped driving this past year.

Edited September 11, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[NoHuddleKelly12]

7 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

My next door neighbor, Serbian... Was conscripted by the Germans.  He came here in early 1950s after fighting Tito in the mountains of Serbia.  Grew up 12km from where Tesla was born.

 

Worked his rest of life at Ford in S.Chicago since the US brought him here... About 40 years. He collected a small German war pension till he passed away in 2012.

 

He was on the Eastern Front, fighting Soviets... Allies yes... But better than killing Americans.

 

His wife is 95.  Still kicking and living two houses down from me.  She just stopped driving this past year.

WW2 was a tragedy on a scale incomprehensible for those of us who did not live through it, and probably also for those that did, actually. And back then they did not have even a PTSD diagnosis with any treatment options--the soldiers/civilians on all sides were expected to do their duty, and go back to "regular" life afterwards as if it never happened? Unreal. 

[ExiledInIllinois]

1 minute ago, NoHuddleKelly12 said:

WW2 was a tragedy on a scale incomprehensible for those of us who did not live through it, and probably also for those that did, actually. And back then they did not have even a PTSD diagnosis with any treatment options--the soldiers/civilians on all sides were expected to do their duty, and go back to "regular" life afterwards as if it never happened? Unreal. 

Patton did slap the shell shocked soldier.  Times were a changing.

[row_33]

12 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Patton did slap the shell shocked soldier.  Times were a changing.

 

it was never good policy to beat up on damaged soldiers for the "free liberal" sides

 

Patton had a high-pitched squeaky voice in normal conversation, that would have made the movie a little different.

 

 

[Gugny]

2 hours ago, teef said:

oh...that's not good.  have you or can you speak to him about it?  some people are not open to that kind of conversation.

 

I just excuses.  "I'm busy,"  "They're busy,"  blah, blah, blah.  Never the real reason .... his C wife.

[Steve O]

19 hours ago, teef said:

i get along great with my parents, and they were the primary reason i wanted to be in this area.  they're both 79 now, and i want to make sure they're well taken care of.  we see them at least once a week for playtime with the grand kids. 

Good for you, you're a good son (pretty sure son is correct, apologies if not)

 

I've always felt i've won the parent lottery.  they set me and my brother up for success.  all we had to do was work hard.

Good for them, that's good parenting. 

Dad died following the Monday nite game vs New England last year, was still tailgaiting when I got the call. 82 days shy of 101. Mom turned 100 in July. I remember one of the guests at her birthday party saying it was the first 100th birthday party he had ever attended. Told him it was the second one I had hosted. 

Edited September 12, 2019 by Steve O

[teef]

12 minutes ago, Steve O said:

Dad died following the Monday nite game vs New England last year, was still tailgaiting when I got the call. 82 days shy of 101. Mom turned 100 in July. I remember one of the guests at her birthday party saying it was the first 100th birthday party he had ever attended. Told him it was the second one I had hosted. 

wow.  that is a long, full life.  I always say that my goal is to live to 100.  i hope to be in decent health at 100, but it's my goal.

[Steve O]

5 minutes ago, teef said:

wow.  that is a long, full life.  I always say that my goal is to live to 100.  i hope to be in decent health at 100, but it's my goal.

Careful what you wish for my friend. I've seen 100, not sure I want to make it. 7 years ago I didn't know what hoyer lifts, catheters, or UTI's were, let alone the difference between chucks and briefs. Mom still has quality though, as you say, decent health is the key. 95 would have been just fine for Dad, last 5 years of his life aged me 25. 

[Keukasmallies]

Parents divorced when I was very young, both remarried, I didn't figure in either family; so raised by grandparents.

 

Nuf said.