The Rise of the Snowplow Sports Parents

[MJS]

10 hours ago, JoeF said:

There has always been that element MJS, but having kids over a long period -- age range 25 to 6, I believe it gets worse with every generation.  I agree with gobills1212, the minority of over officious (to quote Marv) parents 15 years ago has now become the majority. 

 

Case in point, the parental group for my daughter's HS state champion lacrosse teams her junior and senior years (3 years ago), where 8 young ladies who were sophomores, juniors and seniors her senior year got D1 Scholarships, was better behaved than my 6 year old son's bumble bee soccer team parents. 

 

Yesterday, my little guy at halftime looked at the parent of one of his teammates and said, "Your kid is good, just let him play, don't tell him what to do and don't tell the coach what to do with him." No matter where my guy goes in sports, he has learned to spot and call out jerks.  He and I talked about this for a while after the game.  He asked me if I was mad at him for being disrespectful to an adult...I said that the adult was acting like a kid -- so it was okay.

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that when my kids are old enough to be in sports, but I remember plenty of parents like that when I was young playing sports, and I'm sure everyone else can too. Plenty of stories of NFL players with overbearing and hyper involved parents from decades ago.

 

I don't doubt that it is becoming more prevalent, but my point is just that this isn't a new problem. It's a decades old problem and will continue to be a problem forever.

 

And I highly doubt that it is the majority of parents that way. People just notice the jerks and don't notice the parents who aren't.

 

EDIT: And I'll just add that there hasn't been a generation in the history of the planet that hasn't complained about the new, rising generation.

Edited June 24, 2019 by MJS

[Poleshifter]

11 hours ago, JoeF said:

Yesterday, my little guy at halftime looked at the parent of one of his teammates and said, "Your kid is good, just let him play, don't tell him what to do and don't tell the coach what to do with him." No matter where my guy goes in sports, he has learned to spot and call out jerks.  He and I talked about this for a while after the game.  He asked me if I was mad at him for being disrespectful to an adult...I said that the adult was acting like a kid -- so it was okay.

This is great! How old is this little guy? It's a pretty mature thing to do (doing it respectfully, that is).

 

[Ol Dirty B]

46 minutes ago, MJS said:

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that when my kids are old enough to be in sports, but I remember plenty of parents like that when I was young playing sports, and I'm sure everyone else can too. Plenty of stories of NFL players with overbearing and hyper involved parents from decades ago.

 

I don't doubt that it is becoming more prevalent, but my point is just that this isn't a new problem. It's a decades old problem and will continue to be a problem forever.

 

And I highly doubt that it is the majority of parents that way. People just notice the jerks and don't notice the parents who aren't.

 

EDIT: And I'll just add that there hasn't been a generation in the history of the planet that hasn't complained about the new, rising generation.

 

Nope. We are clearly the worst generation. We'll just pay for all the stuff the holy signed up for but couldn't afford. Then pay into a social security system for them that I'll never see a penny from.

 

This world was absolutely perfect until like 1985. This board is covered in mold it's so old.

Edited June 24, 2019 by Ol Dirty B

[JoeF]

5 hours ago, Poleshifter said:

This is great! How old is this little guy? It's a pretty mature thing to do (doing it respectfully, that is).

 

He's 6 and a half, Poleshifter, but he is surrounded by older siblings who play or played sports.  He is a confident little man. He had something to say and he said it. It was more effective than anything an adult could say.  The over officious Dad didn't say a lot the second half of the game. 

 

The thing I loved best is that he said it just "matter of fact" like when the dad was butting into the halftime huddle.  He wasn't obnoxious but he said it loud enough for me to hear as I was handing out halftime waters.  I don't think many outside the huddle heard it. 

 

The kid is already smarter than me...damn...

6 hours ago, MJS said:

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that when my kids are old enough to be in sports, but I remember plenty of parents like that when I was young playing sports, and I'm sure everyone else can too. Plenty of stories of NFL players with overbearing and hyper involved parents from decades ago.

 

I don't doubt that it is becoming more prevalent, but my point is just that this isn't a new problem. It's a decades old problem and will continue to be a problem forever.

 

And I highly doubt that it is the majority of parents that way. People just notice the jerks and don't notice the parents who aren't.

 

EDIT: And I'll just add that there hasn't been a generation in the history of the planet that hasn't complained about the new, rising generation.

I agree MJS...I am an old curmudgeon with a young son and the obnoxious parents do stand out...I just don't get being that way.  I want to see my kids play for the love of the sport and the love of team.  I never wanted my behavior to take away from that love.

[Todd Allan]

14 hours ago, Just Joshin' said:

Yes I will sound like old guy but this is another symptom of the "me first" attitude society has been evolving towards.  It only matters what is the impact on me, ignoring the impact on others or the society as a whole.

 

You reminded me of another reason that I love the team we've built here. Today, like in the Polian era, the Bills look for players with character.

Who is the leader on a team filled with leaders?

We don't know yet, but the creme always rises to the top.

[row_33]

31 minutes ago, ToddAllan said:

 

You reminded me of another reason that I love the team we've built here. Today, like in the Polian era, the Bills look for players with character.

Who is the leader on a team filled with leaders?

We don't know yet, but the creme always rises to the top.

 

Sorry you missed it, but Thurman and Bruce were leaders and stars in college, Jim Kelly slightly less but still acclaimed as supremely talented

 

This team has nobody with these credentials

 

 

 

[oldmanfan]

10 minutes ago, row_33 said:

 

Sorry you missed it, but Thurman and Bruce were leaders and stars in college, Jim Kelly slightly less but still acclaimed as supremely talented

 

This team has nobody with these credentials

 

 

 

Yet.

[teef]

i fully plan on beating my kids into being athletic.  i don't see how it can go wrong.

[dave mcbride]

19 hours ago, Warcodered said:

https://www.si.com/nfl/2019/06/19/snowplow-parents-sports

 

 

Great story. Thanks for posting.

[dave mcbride]

12 hours ago, BADOLBILZ said:

 

 

People hate change.

 

In their day you played baseball for 2 months then you took two months off and then played football for 2 months etc..

 

What that yielded was a whole lotta' talented athletes falling thru the cracks.

 

The difference now is that some are lost to burnout from over exposure..........but the net trade-off is worth it.........I am involved in youth sports and the kids are better players and nicer kids than ever.      The bad stories about parents aren't anything new.

 

I thnk that’s right up to a point, but I also think that a larger percentage of parents now than in the past see sports as a ticket to their kid’s life success, and they plan and shape accordingly. It has always been bad, but I do think it IS crazier now. After a decade of travel/high school baseball In which I saw a small handful of my son’s teammates and friends end up at good programs (Duke, West Virginia, Pitt, Cornell, William and Mary), I’ve sorta lived this. The vast majority did not, and even the ones who made it aren’t going to make any money playing MLB. That said, almost all of the kids were all nice and the vast majority of the parents were terrific people. This is just me, but I didn’t see much in the way of burnout. Overall, it was a very good experience, and focusing mostly on one sport where he could hone his craft was good for him. Anyway, what this article is describing is it’s a real thing, but it’s hardly a red-alert crisis.

[Augie]

10 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

I agree with you.  Not (factor into pushing our children in sports) with us either.  But there are people NOT making gobs of money that it does factor into why they are pushing their children.  They may see it as their only hope out of the stifling debt that a quality education brings with it.

 How much are they or you in debt for their education?

 

Zero. Planned ahead with Florida pre-paid when they were infants. Scholarships for good grades, then pay as you go. Combined for three undergrad degrees and a Masters in accounting. But I understand for many it’s a very big deal. 

[BarleyNY]

Good article, but I would’ve liked to have seen SI dig into the harm this does to the kids.  Parents who have their own identities yoked so tightly to their children’s is incredibly detrimental to their kids.  It goes way beyond simply being proud of their kids and becomes very toxic.  The result is kids never learn to deal with failure and can’t function properly as adults and parents whose identities are inappropriately tied to their children’s success.

 

For those players that do make it professionally I get that parents want to help protect their (even adult) children from being taken advantage of.  But I think they cross a line when their livelihoods hare tied to their children’s earnings and success.  That’s a major conflict of interest. 

 

For the average kids, there are so many travel teams, premier teams, camps ,private trainers, etc., etc.  They’re all selling the dream and telling parents how great their kids are, but they’re all just out to make a buck.  My daughter plays premier soccer locally and regionally.  Every last parent (other than me) on the regional team thinks their daughter is getting a D1 scholarship.  It was all I could do not to laugh out loud.  I doubt that there’s a single one.  If there is, there be no way to know which girl right now anyway.  We’re likely bumping back down to travel next season.  Premier isn’t worth the money.  The coaching isn’t any better and I don’t like being lied to and treated like a sucker. 

 

[row_33]

my parent's neighbour is a high school sophomore girl with a (track and) field throwing prowess that should merit her a full ride in a US top school

 

nobody has a clue at the high school or city or family how to deal with this properly

 

i have contacted 2 friends who have ties to major track and field programs, hopefully to start the process of getting her in better training regimens and off to a good school

 

 

 

[teef]

1 hour ago, row_33 said:

my parent's neighbour is a high school sophomore girl with a (track and) field throwing prowess that should merit her a full ride in a US top school

 

nobody has a clue at the high school or city or family how to deal with this properly

 

i have contacted 2 friends who have ties to major track and field programs, hopefully to start the process of getting her in better training regimens and off to a good school

 

 

 

i think if she puts some stats/tape together, she can send it out to coaches at schools she may want to attend.

[row_33]

21 minutes ago, teef said:

i think if she puts some stats/tape together, she can send it out to coaches at schools she may want to attend.

 

for her age she is aware of what getting a top NCAA scholarship is worth, but there is no infrastructure to help out with a decent plan for the next 2 years

 

and a few from my hometown did well in the US, and have found a good career in coaching after college and the Olympics

 

 

[YoloinOhio]

12 minutes ago, teef said:

i think if she puts some stats/tape together, she can send it out to coaches at schools she may want to attend.

Pretty sure that’s what josh Allen ended up doing on his own 

[row_33]

it's kind of different for a girl who excels at hammer throwing and the like.... this is a unique niche that isn't the same as team sports;

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

2 hours ago, row_33 said:

my parent's neighbour is a high school sophomore girl with a (track and) field throwing prowess that should merit her a full ride in a US top school

 

nobody has a clue at the high school or city or family how to deal with this properly

 

i have contacted 2 friends who have ties to major track and field programs, hopefully to start the process of getting her in better training regimens and off to a good school

 

 

 

Where does the school come up with the $$$ for this scholarship?  What kind of revenue and importance does "track and field" bring in for the school?

 

Pull it out of the hoarded endowment?

 

Where does the money come from?  Some can throw well and it warrants a free ride?  While somebody gets straight As and is in top tier of their class(and is say a male, gasp I even go there) they get boopkiss? Or, a few crumbs thrown their way.

 

Like everything, if this was 1936 it wouldn't have been a problem.  Too many free rides vs. not enough people paying leads to astronomical college costs for few that gotta pay.

 

How is this NOT any different than showing up at the E.R. with no health insurance and the common cold? Then the ones that show up with health insurance get gouged.

 

The dumbing down of society in a jock driven world. I don't get the logic.

 

Maybe it's good (for the rest) that nobody at family level and HS have a clue. ???

Edited June 24, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[Irv]

My daughter is a D1 athlete.  I'm pretty sure I spent as much or more on coaching and travel to meets than she is getting for a scholarship.  Unless you are a top football or basketball star I really don't think it's worth it.   Most parents are delusional. 

 

 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Irv

[Buddy Hix]

My son is four and just now starting to play sports, but my eyes were opened to how crazy sport parents/coaches have become about two years ago. My nephew is a good little hockey player, seven years old at the time and playing for the select team for our region. My first shock came when the children all arrived in the same team issued outfits, that I was told were very costly. Next, I see the coaches take the bench wearing full suits. Those coaches proceeded to smash sticks against the boards later in the game when a call went against them as the parents I was sitting next to cursed at the top of their lungs. I was disgusted and said something to my brother-in-law, he looked at me like I was from another world, this is a normal occurrence for coaches and parents....of seven year olds. I haven't been to another game.

 

 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Buddy Hix

[yungmack]

Imagine this amount of passion, money & attention devoted to other pursuits, such as science. Maybe we'd take back our tech sector from dependency on foreign engineers. Lots of college scholarships going to foreign students while our kids fight for places on lacrosse teams, with degrees that qualify them for barrista jobs.

[row_33]

2 hours ago, yungmack said:

Imagine this amount of passion, money & attention devoted to other pursuits, such as science. Maybe we'd take back our tech sector from dependency on foreign engineers. Lots of college scholarships going to foreign students while our kids fight for places on lacrosse teams, with degrees that qualify them for barrista jobs.

 

more science ends up with no NFL

 

kind of ironic for you to pretend you care

 

[aristocrat]

my son is almost 3 and kicks the soccer ball so well. i'm already checking out how to get him into one of those euro soccer club training squads. but seriously i can't wait for my kid to do sports but i am a little worried how i will react if he has talent. 

 

I was a very good soccer player growing up and instead of going to my local public school lew port i went to canisius.  the guys that i grew up playing with since i was like 5 won a couple state titles in high school and many of them went on to play at penn st, nc, and others. I wound up quitting soccer cause of one bad coach and always look back and wonder.  I sitll ended up in another sport and was really good but college didnt offer many scholarships for it. My parents didn't push me at all in anything really.  Grades, sports, anything.  I just wonder what would have happened if they would have planned a little more?  

[Gray Beard]

2 hours ago, yungmack said:

Imagine this amount of passion, money & attention devoted to other pursuits, such as science. Maybe we'd take back our tech sector from dependency on foreign engineers. Lots of college scholarships going to foreign students while our kids fight for places on lacrosse teams, with degrees that qualify them for barrista jobs.

My daughter had a friend in grad school who was from India. He couldn’t understand why popularity was tied to athletic ability in the US.  In his school, popularity was tied to the ability to help you with your homework.

[Capco]

28 minutes ago, row_33 said:

 

more science ends up with no NFL

 

kind of ironic for you to pretend you care

 

 

You've convinced me.  Science is bad.  

[row_33]

24 minutes ago, Capco said:

 

You've convinced me.  Science is bad.  

 

i don't see 120,000 fans cheering a chemistry book on Saturdays

 

some schools close all campus libraries during football games

 

(I know... some balance will never be achieved....)

 

 

[Capco]

2 minutes ago, row_33 said:

 

i don't see 120,000 fans cheering a chemistry book on Saturdays

 

some schools close all campus libraries during football games

 

I happen to be a chemical engineer so it's ironic you chose to use chemistry.  But that's part of the problem: too many would rather be entertained than educated.  A highly entertained but poorly educated populace stinks of the mob in Rome.  

 

Also, science is literally the reason why we have the free time to partake in things like sports and other forms of entertainment...

[Punching Bag]

On 6/23/2019 at 2:42 PM, Leonhart2017 said:

Dumb people have always existed this is nothing new.

 

Murphy and Darwin do not work fast enough on cleaning out the gene pool.

[Augie]

19 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

I agree with you.  Not (factor into pushing our children in sports) with us either.  But there are people NOT making gobs of money that it does factor into why they are pushing their children.  They may see it as their only hope out of the stifling debt that a quality education brings with it.

 How much are they or you in debt for their education?

 

I will say, the BIL is a doctor and his parents paid as they went. He married a doctor who did not have that option with her family. They are paying for their oldest to start law school in a couple months, while the wife is still (I’m pretty sure) dealing with her students loans. I get that’s it’s a HUGE deal! 

 

I didn’t mean to discount that earlier. We were part smart, and part lucky.  Wife comes from a family where even if they went out to dinner and payed for 20 people, they paid cash. Don’t do what you can’t afford. My family? Not so much. It's the old “be a good teacher or a horrible example”. You can learn from either. 

[Mr. WEO]

Wait, I read right here that all youths have stopped playing tackle football....except the really poor ones.

[row_33]

1 hour ago, Capco said:

 

I happen to be a chemical engineer so it's ironic you chose to use chemistry.  But that's part of the problem: too many would rather be entertained than educated.  A highly entertained but poorly educated populace stinks of the mob in Rome.  

 

Also, science is literally the reason why we have the free time to partake in things like sports and other forms of entertainment...

 

I consider your specialty to be the most difficult in academics, well done!

 

 balance is required, I won’t say where it is, but people feel saying “a balance is required” is good enough to move on

 

 

 

[LSHMEAB]

23 hours ago, Ol Dirty B said:

 

I'm 30. Played college sports. This happened when I was growing up.

 

Anyone who thinks it's new just hasn't been around that environment.

 

Trevor Cooney's mom complained to Boeheim his first year at Syracuse. It always goes on. I remember at times growing up being disgusted with parents on my team. Also with other teams parents. I've had parents say some crazy stuff to me, never bothered me it was always entertaining.

I used to officiate for a non competitive youth football league. They didn't even keep score! Never taken so much abuse and there were "near" fights EVERY game. It's crazy.

On 6/23/2019 at 6:17 PM, BADOLBILZ said:

 

 

People hate change.

 

In their day you played baseball for 2 months then you took two months off and then played football for 2 months etc..

 

What that yielded was a whole lotta' talented athletes falling thru the cracks.

 

The difference now is that some are lost to burnout from over exposure..........but the net trade-off is worth it.........I am involved in youth sports and the kids are better players and nicer kids than ever.      The bad stories about parents aren't anything new.

 

For sure. "Specialization" is definitely newish and that could be debated. Overzealous parents? Old as time.

[Ol Dirty B]

4 hours ago, aristocrat said:

my son is almost 3 and kicks the soccer ball so well. i'm already checking out how to get him into one of those euro soccer club training squads. but seriously i can't wait for my kid to do sports but i am a little worried how i will react if he has talent. 

 

 

First of all, you've got to let it happen naturally if he has a love for the game and just support him.

 

I was pretty good, but had it forced on me and really burned me out but the time I was a teenager. I played in college, but it made for some miserable times. Sometimes, I'd rather have had more of a normal childhood in getting to hang out with friends, take vacations and stuff like that. But with soccer, it was 3 or 4 days a week in the winter and almost every weekend in the summer. Plus 2 games during the week and two practices. The two or three weeks between seasons were consumed with camps and try outs.

 

It was a good experience, but it was a lot. The ones who are really great will enjoy that. I also didn't really have any friends who played soccer or developed friendships with teammates because until college it was almost a whole new team every year. 

 

Secondly, the euro academies teams like Barca, Bayern, and some other teams have set up in the states are a complete money grab. Most of the developmental teams, academies in the US are. It has improved a lot, but they are still a money grab that just associate with a professional club for marketing purposes. Home grown players are actually becoming a thing in the last few years, but it still is rare. 

 

The academies in Europe I believe Americans can only get in before 17 if they have an ability to get a EU passport. If you, or you're parents immigrated here from Europe you might be eligible to get one depending on the country. 

 

You should read up on how Pulisic grew up. He was motivated, loved the game, but his family kept him very well balanced.

 

Where are you from? Feel free to PM me. Just trying to offer some friendly advice. I've got family members who were professionals, and friends and teammates who went on as well. I've been offered to have my USF soccer licenses paid for but I just don't have the time for the classes with work.

[That's No Moon]

My son got a new coach this year. We had concerns from day 1 as the previous year this particular coach had called timeouts during the game and had his team skate suicides during the entire timeout.  This had happened multiple times.  We raised our concerns to the club board and we were essentially ignored.  Ok, fine, we'll give it a shot. 

 

This past Saturday, a kid (not mine) takes an obvious hit to the head in open ice and goes down.  Play stops and he's brought to the bench.  He misses a shift but is allowed to go back on the ice for another shift or two. Then he sits for the rest of the period and beginning of the next with his head in his hands on the bench. A couple minutes into the second period he leaves the bench and goes to the locker room. He's in there for a couple minutes with the team manager who is a Mom, not a trained medical professional of any kind.  He emerges from the locker room, goes back to the bench and is allowed to get back on the ice and take shifts.  This is in violation of multiple protocols AND state law in the state the club is located in.  The state extended it's concussion protocol law to cover non-school leagues 2 years ago.  If there is any suspicion of a head injury the player is not permitted to resume play until cleared by a medical professional. Period. It does not matter if the kid or the parent consent to have them play, they are out until they are evaluated.

 

As part of my job I'm the athletic director for a school.  If any of my coaches did either of these things I'd have to fire them for cause. I cant fire my son's hockey coach so I pulled him from the entire program Sunday morning and he will be playing for a different organization this season. Snowplow parenting or no?

[Ol Dirty B]

2 minutes ago, That's No Moon said:

My son got a new coach this year. We had concerns from day 1 as the previous year this particular coach had called timeouts during the game and had his team skate suicides during the entire timeout.  This had happened multiple times.  We raised our concerns to the club board and we were essentially ignored.  Ok, fine, we'll give it a shot. 

 

This past Saturday, a kid (not mine) takes an obvious hit to the head in open ice and goes down.  Play stops and he's brought to the bench.  He misses a shift but is allowed to go back on the ice for another shift or two. Then he sits for the rest of the period and beginning of the next with his head in his hands on the bench. A couple minutes into the second period he leaves the bench and goes to the locker room. He's in there for a couple minutes with the team manager who is a Mom, not a trained medical professional of any kind.  He emerges from the locker room, goes back to the bench and is allowed to get back on the ice and take shifts.  This is in violation of multiple protocols AND state law in the state the club is located in.  The state extended it's concussion protocol law to cover non-school leagues 2 years ago.  If there is any suspicion of a head injury the player is not permitted to resume play until cleared by a medical professional. Period. It does not matter if the kid or the parent consent to have them play, they are out until they are evaluated.

 

As part of my job I'm the athletic director for a school.  If any of my coaches did either of these things I'd have to fire them for cause. I cant fire my son's hockey coach so I pulled him from the entire program Sunday morning and he will be playing for a different organization this season. Snowplow parenting or no?

 

No that's the complete opposite. The mom clearing him and the coach are being snow plow parents. 

 

I've been misdiagnosed by a high school trainer, no where near as seriously it was an ankle injury. I couldn't walk I skipped school the next day after being injured and came in for treatment two days later.

 

She said if it was in the state tournament I'd tape you up and you'd play, but we have a couple weeks so you can take a couple days off. I'm like this is high school, I got potential offers, but naive 17 year old me just took her at her word. Over 10 years later and I can't cut off my left ankle. I played all my college career having to be taped up for every practice and game. Sometimes again at half time. I can tweak it just walking. Which isn't ideal to be taped up as a soccer player because it restricts the flexibility required in that foot to manipulate the ball.

 

I learned a few years later she was definitely full of *****. My brother complained to her about knee pain just from running for a couple years. She basically said it was in his head and he was fine. Finally saw a specialist and the cartilage in his knee was gone and it was bone scraping bone and required surgery. 

 

I never trust amateurs and coaches even at the youth levels with health issues because idk if it is some weird thirst for success or ignorance. A lot of them don't seem to have the best intentions for players. 

 

If I were you, especially your expertise in this area, you're definitely in the right pulling your kid. What they did is completely irresponsible.

[row_33]

15 hours ago, That's No Moon said:

My son got a new coach this year. We had concerns from day 1 as the previous year this particular coach had called timeouts during the game and had his team skate suicides during the entire timeout.  This had happened multiple times.  We raised our concerns to the club board and we were essentially ignored.  Ok, fine, we'll give it a shot. 

 

This past Saturday, a kid (not mine) takes an obvious hit to the head in open ice and goes down.  Play stops and he's brought to the bench.  He misses a shift but is allowed to go back on the ice for another shift or two. Then he sits for the rest of the period and beginning of the next with his head in his hands on the bench. A couple minutes into the second period he leaves the bench and goes to the locker room. He's in there for a couple minutes with the team manager who is a Mom, not a trained medical professional of any kind.  He emerges from the locker room, goes back to the bench and is allowed to get back on the ice and take shifts.  This is in violation of multiple protocols AND state law in the state the club is located in.  The state extended it's concussion protocol law to cover non-school leagues 2 years ago.  If there is any suspicion of a head injury the player is not permitted to resume play until cleared by a medical professional. Period. It does not matter if the kid or the parent consent to have them play, they are out until they are evaluated.

 

As part of my job I'm the athletic director for a school.  If any of my coaches did either of these things I'd have to fire them for cause. I cant fire my son's hockey coach so I pulled him from the entire program Sunday morning and he will be playing for a different organization this season. Snowplow parenting or no?

 

you did the right thing

 

where was the AD at Michigan when RichRod sent his obviously concussed QB onto the field and the kid didn't even know which huddle to run to?

 

 

[LABILLBACKER]

On 6/24/2019 at 7:16 AM, BarleyNY said:

Good article, but I would’ve liked to have seen SI dig into the harm this does to the kids.  Parents who have their own identities yoked so tightly to their children’s is incredibly detrimental to their kids.  It goes way beyond simply being proud of their kids and becomes very toxic.  The result is kids never learn to deal with failure and can’t function properly as adults and parents whose identities are inappropriately tied to their children’s success.

 

For those players that do make it professionally I get that parents want to help protect their (even adult) children from being taken advantage of.  But I think they cross a line when their livelihoods hare tied to their children’s earnings and success.  That’s a major conflict of interest. 

 

For the average kids, there are so many travel teams, premier teams, camps ,private trainers, etc., etc.  They’re all selling the dream and telling parents how great their kids are, but they’re all just out to make a buck.  My daughter plays premier soccer locally and regionally.  Every last parent (other than me) on the regional team thinks their daughter is getting a D1 scholarship.  It was all I could do not to laugh out loud.  I doubt that there’s a single one.  If there is, there be no way to know which girl right now anyway.  We’re likely bumping back down to travel next season.  Premier isn’t worth the money.  The coaching isn’t any better and I don’t like being lied to and treated like a sucker. 

 

So very true and sad. And yes it is getting worse. Helicopter parents trying way to hard to live vicariously through their kids is becoming more intense with each generation. As a parent over 60 who coached little league for 15 years I saw it first hand. And I too got caught up in it. You have to let kids 6-12 to have lives and fun beyond the organized sports they're participating in. 85% of kids quit their sport after the age of 12/13. Travel ball can do more damage than good for a well rounded child hoping to maybe someday play D1 sports. Let the kid breathe.....

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

On 6/24/2019 at 4:34 PM, aristocrat said:

my son is almost 3 and kicks the soccer ball so well. i'm already checking out how to get him into one of those euro soccer club training squads. but seriously i can't wait for my kid to do sports but i am a little worried how i will react if he has talent. 

 

I was a very good soccer player growing up and instead of going to my local public school lew port i went to canisius.  the guys that i grew up playing with since i was like 5 won a couple state titles in high school and many of them went on to play at penn st, nc, and others. I wound up quitting soccer cause of one bad coach and always look back and wonder.  I sitll ended up in another sport and was really good but college didnt offer many scholarships for it. My parents didn't push me at all in anything really.  Grades, sports, anything.  I just wonder what would have happened if they would have planned a little more?  

Go for it!  Live vicariously through your children! ? 

 

My grandfather had a saying:

"The hound would have got the fox if he didn't stop to take a *****."

 

I am not quite sure what that truly means... But I have an idea and I think it sorta fits here. Stop wondering the woulda, coulda, shoulda's of life when the everyday necessities of the world dictate what you do and when you do it. 

 

(I) hope I interjected a little (albeit coarse) wisdom on this wonderful morning.  If not, hold your poo in and carry on. ?

Edited June 26, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[Over 29 years of fanhood]

All these involved parents just don’t get it.  Tons of the ‘a football life’ bios about great players describe fathers ditching their kids.  Steve Largent,Ray Lewis... the list goes on

 

If you want your kid to have a chip on their shoulder that helps them succeed, don’t get involved, the formula is clear.

 

You just need a ‘this this hurts me more than you’ line ?

[CaptnCoke11]

Nothing worse than the new age little league parent.. Parents reliving their glory days through their kids.  Quite pathetic