The Rise of the Snowplow Sports Parents

[oldmanfan]

2 hours ago, LSHMEAB said:

Next SI is gonna write a scathing column on the dangers of rap music.

 

Seriously, how is this new? I think the only new component is technology, but this has probably been going on since the inception of sports.

It's the intensity and the more widespread nature now.   It used to be we'd all play a different sport each season.  Now you have parents being told their grade school kid has to focus on one sport, be on travel teams, etc. to have a shot and parents get sucked into it.

 

When my daughter was in first grade playing T-ball another 6 year old missed a game because she was on a travel team.  That's right - a travel team for 6 year olds playing T ball.

[Augie]

Parents be crazy!

 

They've always been crazy!

 

But they be gettin’ crazy-ER!  Big time!  

[Augie]

4 minutes ago, oldmanfan said:

It's the intensity and the more widespread nature now.   It used to be we'd all play a different sport each season.  Now you have parents being told their grade school kid has to focus on one sport, be on travel teams, etc. to have a shot and parents get sucked into it.

 

When my daughter was in first grade playing T-ball another 6 year old missed a game because she was on a travel team.  That's right - a travel team for 6 year olds playing T ball.

 

Clearly, travel teams for 6 year old T-ball is insane. Where do you draw the line? My then 9 year old was sucked in to playing up a year in AAU so they could field a team. The coach was into it, and one son played minor league for years before getting a life. My kid wanted out of baseball a couple years later. They (adults males) called about All Stars and made all kinds of promises....2nd base, lead off hitter, we love you, etc. A friggin’ sales pitch. Put him on hold. “Alex, you want to play AllStars, here’s the deal....Do I have to? Of course not! Good, in baseball half the guys are standing around, and the other half are sitting.” THAT was a happy day in my life! 

 

In Florida they try to rope kids into baseball 12 months/year. Weather permits, and those nut jobs think it’s that important. Our kids played every sport, but they were well above average, especially the youngest. We said “well, if you don’t want us back after basketball, soccer, football, piano, etc., we’ll just try to find a place to fit in”. They always found a spot for a top 1-3 kid on every team, in every sport. 

[oldmanfan]

2 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

Clearly, travel teams for 6 year old T-ball is insane. Where do you draw the line? My then 9 year old was sucked in to playing up a year in AAU so they could field a team. The coach was into it, and one son played minor league for years before getting a life. My kid wanted out of baseball a couple years later. They (adults males) called about All Stars and made all kinds of promises....2nd base, lead off hitter, we love you, etc. A friggin’ sales pitch. Put him on hold. “Alex, you want to play AllStars, here’s the deal....Do I have to? Of course not! Good, in baseball half the guys are standing around, and the other half are sitting.” THAT was a happy day in my life! 

 

In Florida they try to rope kids into baseball 12 months/year. Weather permits, and those nut jobs think it’s that important. Our kids played every sport, but they were well above average, especially the youngest. We said “well, if you don’t want us back after basketball, soccer, football, piano, etc., we’ll just try to find a place to fit in”. They always found a spot for a top 1-3 kid on every team, in every sport. 

It's stunning how many people get sucked into this.  The girl's swim team at our local high school has won the state championship for over 30 years straight - set a national record for consecutive championships.  They start recruiting kids in preschool to join the swim club - 3 hours a day minimum.  My daughter swam when she was that age, and at 6 she was swimming relays with 10 year olds; she would beat kids her age in breaststroke by more that half of the length of the pool.  And I was aggressively pursued by other parents, coaches, etc.  Insane.

 

My sister in law is a strength coach and was the women's coach at a Big Ten school.  She'll tell you two things about this phenomenon of kids being forced into a sport so early.  One, they are in shape for their specific sport by are in terrible general condition.  Second, most all of them can't stand their sport by then; they're burned out.

[BADOLBILZ]

2 hours ago, LSHMEAB said:

Next SI is gonna write a scathing column on the dangers of rap music.

 

Seriously, how is this new? I think the only new component is technology, but this has probably been going on since the inception of sports.

 

 

People hate change.

 

In their day you played baseball for 2 months then you took two months off and then played football for 2 months etc..

 

What that yielded was a whole lotta' talented athletes falling thru the cracks.

 

The difference now is that some are lost to burnout from over exposure..........but the net trade-off is worth it.........I am involved in youth sports and the kids are better players and nicer kids than ever.      The bad stories about parents aren't anything new.

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

There is too much $$$$$ in sports.  Plain and simple.  Stakes too high.  Then you got stuff like Title IX.  Quite a mess.

[Ol Dirty B]

3 hours ago, LSHMEAB said:

Next SI is gonna write a scathing column on the dangers of rap music.

 

Seriously, how is this new? I think the only new component is technology, but this has probably been going on since the inception of sports.

 

I'm 30. Played college sports. This happened when I was growing up.

 

Anyone who thinks it's new just hasn't been around that environment.

 

Trevor Cooney's mom complained to Boeheim his first year at Syracuse. It always goes on. I remember at times growing up being disgusted with parents on my team. Also with other teams parents. I've had parents say some crazy stuff to me, never bothered me it was always entertaining.

[Augie]

2 hours ago, Ol Dirty B said:

 

I'm 30. Played college sports. This happened when I was growing up.

 

Anyone who thinks it's new just hasn't been around that environment.

 

Trevor Cooney's mom complained to Boeheim his first year at Syracuse. It always goes on. I remember at times growing up being disgusted with parents on my team. Also with other teams parents. I've had parents say some crazy stuff to me, never bothered me it was always entertaining.

 

I’m almost twice as old, and also played college sports. It’s always gone on, but it goes on more now than ever.  

 

No need to specialize too early. The best athletes are the best athletes. I think other sports actually help in your eventual focused sport. For example, soccer is particularly good for footwork regardless of what sport you end up in. This has been the case with some of the best NBA big men.

 

The best athletes will be taken back and loved, because they are better than the others. My youngest was a HS stud in several sport. He could have played a couple sports in college. I was embarrassed by the way some adults reacted to a HS kid who could play a few sports really well. I’m glad he passed on college sports to begin his future. 

 

. 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Augie

[KD in CA]

7 hours ago, RobbRiddick said:

This has been the case for decades. Remember Marinovich's crazy father, or the Williams sisters dad, to name a couple. It's just people who feel like failures trying to live again through their kids. 

 

Heck, the definitive movie on sports parents was made in 1976 and it still holds up.

[Chicharito]

8 hours ago, JoeF said:

There has always been that element MJS, but having kids over a long period -- age range 25 to 6, I believe it gets worse with every generation.  I agree with gobills1212, the minority of over officious (to quote Marv) parents 15 years ago has now become the majority. 

 

Case in point, the parental group for my daughter's HS state champion lacrosse teams her junior and senior years (3 years ago), where 8 young ladies who were sophomores, juniors and seniors her senior year got D1 Scholarships, was better behaved than my 6 year old son's bumble bee soccer team parents. 

 

Yesterday, my little guy at halftime looked at the parent of one of his teammates and said, "Your kid is good, just let him play, don't tell him what to do and don't tell the coach what to do with him." No matter where my guy goes in sports, he has learned to spot and call out jerks.  He and I talked about this for a while after the game.  He asked me if I was mad at him for being disrespectful to an adult...I said that the adult was acting like a kid -- so it was okay.

As a fellow umpire I agree seems like more and more parents think little Johnny is the next jeter! It ruining the game . When parents want to ride the kids it finds its way to be our fault . Once the parent is ejected from the the field “little Johnny “ can actually play!

[US Egg]

Amazing how many parents think their kid has "it" to get a college sports scholarship at 12 yrs. old.

Edited June 24, 2019 by I am the egg man

[SinceThe70s]

2 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

There is too much $$$$$ in sports.  Plain and simple.  Stakes too high.  Then you got stuff like Title IX.  Quite a mess.

 

Sports is entertainment. Entertainers get paid insane amounts of money. What's your thoughts on curbing the cost of entertainment? Personally I wish that sporting events, concerts. movies, Broadway shows, etc... were cheaper but that doesn't factor into pushing my kids in any of those directions.

 

 

 

 

[row_33]

59 minutes ago, KD in CA said:

 

Heck, the definitive movie on sports parents was made in 1976 and it still holds up.

 

Fear Strikes Out, that was 1957?

 

 

[Augie]

7 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said:

 

Sports is entertainment. Entertainers get paid insane amounts of money. What's your thoughts on curbing the cost of entertainment? Personally I wish that sporting events, concerts. movies, Broadway shows, etc... were cheaper but that doesn't factor into pushing my kids in any of those directions.

 

 

 

 

 

I get all that. Be aware of the odds against getting to that pot of gold. Entertainment PAYS!  Few reach that goal. My kids had no hope of reaching the top in sports/entertaining. The practical course has paid off so far. 

[ExiledInIllinois]

22 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said:

 

Sports is entertainment. Entertainers get paid insane amounts of money. What's your thoughts on curbing the cost of entertainment? Personally I wish that sporting events, concerts. movies, Broadway shows, etc... were cheaper but that doesn't factor into pushing my kids in any of those directions.

 

 

 

 

I agree with you.  Not (factor into pushing our children in sports) with us either.  But there are people NOT making gobs of money that it does factor into why they are pushing their children.  They may see it as their only hope out of the stifling debt that a quality education brings with it.

10 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

I get all that. Be aware of the odds against getting to that pot of gold. Entertainment PAYS!  Few reach that goal. My kids had no hope of reaching the top in sports/entertaining. The practical course has paid off so far. 

How much are they or you in debt for their education?

Edited June 24, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[SinceThe70s]

1 minute ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

I agree with you.  Not with me either.  But there are people NOT making gobs of money that it does factor into why they are pushing their children.  They may see it as their only hope out of the stifling debt that a quality education brings with it.

 

For the record I don't make gobs of money but I don't think that's where you were going.

 

I do live without stifling debt and yet I do see parents of presumably equal means pushing the athletics agenda in lieu of academics. That's a different scenario than using athletics as a means to get a quality education.

 

 

 

[YoloinOhio]

7 hours ago, jwhit34 said:

I read this article a few days ago, nothing in it surprised me. What's sad is that even on lower levels the parents are out of their minds. I have taken our daughter to a bunch of college softball camps that go all day. Most of the player there are going to play D2 or D3, there are a handful of D1 prospects. These camps go 6-7 hours and I'd say 90+% of the parents stay there all day and watch. I guess I am the bad parent that dump our kid off at 8:45 and comes back at 3:45 when she's almost done. 

 

I know a fair amount of college coaches and the thing they all say is they are taking note of the snowplow parents, or more importantly, taking note of the kids that function independently. They like that, also think the independent kid will adjust to college life much better. 

 

Even in the recruiting game which is not easy to navigate we have told our daughter that we will support her but she has to do the work, she has to contact the coaches, get on their radar, do the follow up, etc. We will take her for visits and camps and support her but she has to do the work. 

 

And the thing is it is working out well, she has a bunch of D1 schools interested and a very strong D2 offer from an excellent academic school that has the curriculum she is looking for. In the end she isn't going to be a pro softball player but if it helps her get into a good school and makes it a little cheaper, that's good.

 

The other thing is that there are some really delusional and duped parents that spend thousands of $ every year playing on these super expensive travel teams or paying these recruiting services unnecessarily to get "exposure", One of the first things the college coaches tell you is don't waste you money signing up for these "priority" packages with outfits like NCSA or Field Level, they aren't relying on those services to find players. Up until this year we never paid more than $800 for a travel team, this year we bumped up to $1,700 but most of these "elite" programs are $3-10k plus they travel all over the country so add about $2-4k in travel, hotel & relate costs per year. It's nuts, people should just put that money in a 529 plan so they have it when their kids go to college.

 

We got a late start because our daughter didn't even decide she wanted to play in college until her sophomore year and everything is working out just fine. And it was really important that she came to that decision on her own. We talked through it and told her from the outset, we don't care if you play or not, whatever you decide is okay with us and we will support you any way we can. Some of these kids feel the pressure to play from their parents and really aren't into it. 

 

And we made it clear she has to pick a school that she (1) likes a lot,  (2) has the academic program(s) she wants and needs because if she decides she doesn't want to play anymore or gets injured we want he to be at a place that she is going to want to stay. Lots of parents just grab the best $ offer and the kid isn't happy there and/or doesn't get as good an education as they should.

 

I know I wrote too much but this is a real hot button for me. It makes me sick being at these camps, tournaments and showcases and seeing these delusional adults that are putting all this pressure on the kids and setting them up for failure. I'm not worried about the Zion Williamsons of the world, but the kids a couple levels down are the ones that are getting impacted more. And as a result of the snowplowing done by their parents they are not prepared for the real world or even the college world. 

 

It's ironic the parents think they are helping them out immensely and they are doing the exact opposite. Kids have to experience failure, it's part of life and learning how to deal with it is important. 

 

I say this all the time! Parents are paying thousands upon thousands for travel sports (oh and competitive dance, don’t get me started on that racket) so their kid can - what, get a college scholarship? Get drafted? Only a tiny percentage get that especially in the popular sports. Just save the money for college and let them play for fun at age 10,11 instead of traveling all over creation to show them off like its some kind of status symbol for the parents. Jmo 

[ExiledInIllinois]

14 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said:

 

For the record I don't make gobs of money but I don't think that's where you were going.

 

I do live without stifling debt and yet I do see parents of presumably equal means pushing the athletics agenda in lieu of academics. That's a different scenario than using athletics as a means to get a quality education.

 

 

 

Exactly.

 

But somebody has to susidize all these scholarships?  The payers.  Why a college education is so insanely expensive.  Sports is are people's ticket to a paid education.  That's backwards and why we have such a funding crisis and soon to be a debt default crisis.

[ExiledInIllinois]

20 minutes ago, YoloinOhio said:

I say this all the time! Parents are paying thousands upon thousands for travel sports (oh and competitive dance, don’t get me started on that racket) so their kid can - what, get a college scholarship? Get drafted? Only a tiny percentage get that especially in the popular sports. Just save the money for college and let them play for fun at age 10,11 instead of traveling all over creation to show them off like its some kind of status symbol for the parents. Jmo 

How are many going to save 100s of thousands of $$$  when they can barely  balance things on stagnant wages? 

 

Of course they can plan early. And when everybody does save... Prices just go because the schools know they can charge high to keep the many from coming in.

 

Anyway, take Patrick Kane for example.  Didn't his father sell his portion of the Ford dealership (Kane-Doyle) to bankroll his hockey career?  That's under a million dollar investment that's raking in  10s if not 100s times more.  I don't agree with it, but it's what people see. Of course spin the whole poor S.BFLo family story all you want. These parents that push their children want no part of your vanilla equation you posted above.  They want high-risk, high reward too.  The rewards are staggering.

Edited June 24, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[SinceThe70s]

1 minute ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Exactly.

 

But somebody has to susidize all these scholarships?  The payers.  Why a college education is so insanely expensive.  Sports is are people's ticket to a paid education.  That's backwards and why we have such a funding crisis and soon to be a debt default crisis.

 

I agree 100% with the bolded.  

 

My personal opinion is that higher education has crossed the line from academics into big business. Holds true for schools without sports program but worse for those with strong ones.