The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Getting married on the 24th. Pretty sure this one likes me as more than a friend. She's great. I love her. But she has this "friend." Let's go back to when I was first planning on proposing. This was back in late 2016. I had just been laid off, and found a new job, working weird hours for significantly less money. In order to survive, I had to work all the overtime I could get just to make end's meet. Also, her father was in the hospital, and her mother was having surgery to remove a tumor. So I had it down to two days, a Friday, ideally, or a Tuesday if I couldn't get a paid day off from work. I told her friend this, and she told me Tuesday doesn't work, because it's her birthday. Not that I cared, but I told her it was most likely gonna be that Friday. She literally goes back to my now fiance and says "He's planning on proposing to you on my birthday! You gotta tell him he can't because I'm not even sure I can be there, and that's MY day to celebrate." I didn't make a big deal out of it because Tuesday didn't work anyway. But it was pretty crappy of her to make it all about herself. Then in April. My fiance's birthday came up, and I threw a surprise party for her. Nothing huge. Just about 7 or 8 of our closest friends. One of my best friends died unexpectedly the day before. I was wanted to cancel, because I honestly just wanted to mope around the house all day, but powered through it anyway. Her alleged best friend didn't make it. She got into an argument with her mom that morning, and was just feeling kinda sad about it and didn't want to go to a party. Also decided not to tell me, after I'd bought enough food for everyone. Now, fast forward to September. She tells my fiance that she can't make the bridal shower, or the rehearsal, because her mom told her she has to go out of town. Side note, this woman is 24 years old, and literally just refuses to get a job and move out of her parent's house. So Sunday, as we're getting ready to go watch the game, she gets a call, that her mom told her she can't go to the bachelorette party this Saturday. My fiance tells her politely but firmly, that if she can't make that, and is only a maybe on the rehersal, that she's invited to the wedding, but she can't be a bridesmaid. Turns out, her mom was only joking with her, and she can make the party, but now refuses to go, based on the fact that my fiance told her that in a hypothetical situation, which isn't happening, she doesn't want to be there. I'm just venting here because the thing I want to say to her aren't nice. My fiance has a full time job, a sick father to take care of, a wedding to plan, and her mom passed a month ago. The last thing she needs is someone causing BS drama in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teef Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 dude, tell this girl to ***** off. she's obviously an issue, and who really needs that. just be a dick. i've found it's so much easier to do that as you get older. too many times in my youth have i bit my tongue to keep the peace. now i just don't care. worst case scenario, you be mean to her, your fiance is ticked for a bit, but later happy because this girl is out of your life. i'd enjoy being mean to her. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Looks like your fiance is figuring out what kind of "friend" this person is. I suggest you sit back and don't participate in the drama; it'll take care of itself soon enough. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 2 minutes ago, WhoTom said: Looks like your fiance is figuring out what kind of "friend" this person is. I suggest you sit back and don't participate in the drama; it'll take care of itself soon enough. Yeah. I'm basically giving it until Saturday. See if things blow over by then. That's why I'm venting here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teef Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 (edited) also, don't you think it's wildly strange that this girl's mother told her she couldn't go to the bachelorette party as a joke? and that the girl didn't figure it out immediately? my family loves to bust balls, but this just isn't a funny joke. she probably decided to not go, and once she found out she wouldn't be in the wedding, changed he mind. i assume she's just throwing her mother under the bus. i stand by my first thought. i'd be a dick. Edited November 7, 2018 by teef 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 (edited) Mistake 1 telling it to a me girl I second teef dude, tell this girl to ***** off. Edited November 7, 2018 by ShadyBillsFan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 minute ago, teef said: also, don't you think it's wildly strange that this girl's mother told her she couldn't go to the bachelorette party as a joke? and that the girl didn't figure it out pretty immediately? my family loves to bust balls, but this just isn't a funny joke. she probably decided to not go, and once she found out she wouldn't be in the wedding, changed he mind. i assume she's just throwing her mother under the bus. i stand by my first thought. i'd be a dick. When they finally talked about it again last night, she could hear her parents coaching her through the whole phone call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocemur Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 30 minutes ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: Now, fast forward to September. She tells my fiance that she can't make the bridal shower, or the rehearsal, because her mom told her she has to go out of town. Side note, this woman is 24 years old, and literally just refuses to get a job and move out of her parent's house. She's a child. She's not malicious, just really immature and self centered. She's not going to grow up overnight so this type of behavior will continue. There's nothing you can do to change her behavior. Just don't take anything personally, because when she gets cut loose she will throw a tantrum. Think of yourself like a restaurant manager asking unruly teenagers to leave, it's just business. When she calls you names, ignore it. When she cries, ignore it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 16 minutes ago, teef said: dude, tell this girl to ***** off. she's obviously an issue, and who really needs that. just be a dick. i've found it's so much easier to do that as you get older. too many times in my youth have i bit my tongue to keep the peace. now i just don't care. worst case scenario, you be mean to her, your fiance is ticked for a bit, but later happy because this girl is out of your life. i'd enjoy being mean to her. This is exactly where I am. You're not going to get any better advice than this. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teef Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: When they finally talked about it again last night, she could hear her parents coaching her through the whole phone call. there's something very off here. just be ready for this girl to ruin something for you. it probably won't/hopefully be the wedding, but it's going to happen. my dad had a sister like this. she was just off, and any time someone had a positive going on in their life, she would make a scene and divert the attention back to herself. on the evening of my dad's prom, she ran away. his parents made him go look for her and miss most of the evening. she came hold from college, and made such a big stink about the new dog my dad had, that her parents put the dog in the pound. she even "attempted" suicide in my dad's room when he was studying for finals. he just shoved her outside and closed the door. he had to make the decision that his own sistser wasn't invited to his wedding because she would make a scene, and ruin it for my mom. i'm not saying this friend has this level of a problem, but some people need to create drama and make it about themselves. 6 minutes ago, ocemur said: She's a child. She's not malicious, just really immature and self centered. She's not going to grow up overnight so this type of behavior will continue. There's nothing you can do to change her behavior. Just don't take anything personally, because when she gets cut loose she will throw a tantrum. Think of yourself like a restaurant manager asking unruly teenagers to leave, it's just business. When she calls you names, ignore it. When she cries, ignore it. this is perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 There's definitely a jealousy thing going on. My fiance and I met online, met in person a few days later, and hit it off instantly. As cliche as it sounds, it was love at first sight. It's a very rare thing, but it happens. So whenever she meets a guy, really any guy at all, after one date, she automatically acts like he's the one. We both tell her to slow it down, if we like the guy. Or if we see red flags, tell her that, but she goes back anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoBills808 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 I wouldn't want to be friends with any 24 year old who needs parental permission to attend a party. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommonCents Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Hit her with a frying pan, shake those rocks around a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Popinski Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 29 minutes ago, teef said: dude, tell this girl to ***** off. she's obviously an issue, and who really needs that. just be a dick. i've found it's so much easier to do that as you get older. too many times in my youth have i bit my tongue to keep the peace. now i just don't care. worst case scenario, you be mean to her, your fiance is ticked for a bit, but later happy because this girl is out of your life. i'd enjoy being mean to her. This is sound advice, cut the cancer out of your lives and move on. It's liberating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 She also plays in a co ed charity softball tournament every year. She basically runs the team. She told my fiance that one of the girls wasn't gonna make it, and wanted her to play. Fiance went out and bought a bat and a glove. She'd never played softball before, but was super excited about it. We went to the batting cages probably four times that week. She finally drives out ot the park, which is about an hour's drive away. "Oh yeah, she showed up. Never mind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Sounds like a psycho. Think she’s be down for a ménage with you and your old lady?? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Popinski Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: She also plays in a co ed charity softball tournament every year. She basically runs the team. She told my fiance that one of the girls wasn't gonna make it, and wanted her to play. Fiance went out and bought a bat and a glove. She'd never played softball before, but was super excited about it. We went to the batting cages probably four times that week. She finally drives out ot the park, which is about an hour's drive away. "Oh yeah, she showed up. Never mind." Not surprising. And that's a pretty decent summary of your girls relationship with this person, it's all about her and only her. If I were you, i would have zero contact with her and encourage your girl to come to that realization as well but not in a negative way. anything you say to her will be twisted around to try and ruin your relationship so have zero contact with her only communicate through your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Sounds like she’s 24 going on 14. Hope the fiancé figures that out and can distance herself over time (or all at once!). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 17 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: Sounds like a psycho. Think she’s be down for a ménage with you and your old lady?? She'd probably claim to be. She's one of those girls that claim to be bisexual, but pretty sure she's just looking for attention. I think she'd chicken out if ever placed in the situation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Things Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Oh God. Run away and don't look back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stony Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 hour ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: There's definitely a jealousy thing going on. My fiance and I met online, met in person a few days later, and hit it off instantly. As cliche as it sounds, it was love at first sight. It's a very rare thing, but it happens. So whenever she meets a guy, really any guy at all, after one date, she automatically acts like he's the one. We both tell her to slow it down, if we like the guy. Or if we see red flags, tell her that, but she goes back anyway. Congrats on the wedding. In addition to being jealous of your happiness, sounds like she might want your D, too. Steer clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 hour ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: Yeah. I'm basically giving it until Saturday. See if things blow over by then. That's why I'm venting here. Be careful who you are marrying. No offense to you or your fiancé as I know neither of you at all, but people should be judged by the company they keep in my opinion. This "best friend" sounds like a really low quality individual, and she's your fiancé's best friend? Or at least was thought as much for some amount of time? These are warning flags my friend! It's up to you to sort it out and make sure you're marrying the right woman. If you are, the "best friend" needs to be removed from the picture. It would be more effective for your fiancé to take care of that instead of you. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 If you and your girl still have people like that in your lives and don't how to get rid of them, it tells me you're too young to get married. What's the rush? p.s. shiv the B word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasons1992 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 2 hours ago, teef said: she's obviously an issue, and who really needs that. just be a dick. i've found it's so much easier to do that as you get older. too many times in my youth have i bit my tongue to keep the peace. now i just don't care. worst case scenario, you be mean to her, your fiance is ticked for a bit, but later happy because this girl is out of your life. I agree 1000% with all of this. I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR YA BULL&^#T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Don’t be too forceful in bashing your fiancé’s friend. One thing I have learned over the years, as my wife has a few life-long friends who are just as annoying and retarded as the girl you describe. As much as your fiancé gets tired of their ***** and says she is done with them, they will be friends again in a couple weeks and you will feel awkward and/or stupid...especially if you speak your opinion directly to the crazy friend. Be careful, and remember....***** be crazy. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Is my invite in the mail ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryPinC Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 I'd discuss it with your fiancee and be honest where you're coming from on it. It's her friend. See how she reacts, a lot of chicks don't like to be the bad person or there may be a good reason she tolerates her friend. It may help you find the best way to handle it and avoid conflict with the fiancee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 4 minutes ago, GaryPinC said: I'd discuss it with your fiancee and be honest where you're coming from on it. It's her friend. See how she reacts, a lot of chicks don't like to be the bad person or there may be a good reason she tolerates her friend. It may help you find the best way to handle it and avoid conflict with the fiancee. At this point, she claims she's done with her. For better or for worse, my fiance is the most forgiving person I've ever met besides her mother. If she calls back and apologizes, my fiance will forgive her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teef Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 joe...you have to let your fiance know you're a dick before you get married. otherwise they get all bent out of shape when you suddenly "turn" into a dick well into the marriage. my wife knew she was marrying a d-bag, and now she's stuck with me. be a dick joe. be a dick. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 11 minutes ago, teef said: joe...you have to let your fiance know you're a dick before you get married. otherwise they get all bent out of shape when you suddenly "turn" into a dick well into the marriage. my wife knew she was marrying a d-bag, and now she's stuck with me. be a dick joe. be a dick. Truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo_Gal Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Apparently, 24 is the new 12. Yikes. The advice to let your fiancée figure it out on her own and come to the conclusion to drop the "friend" on her own, is spot on. Best wishes on your upcoming nuptials! ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 hour ago, mead107 said: Is my invite in the mail ? You’re catering! Get to work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 hour ago, mead107 said: Is my invite in the mail ? You and @DC Tom are invited if he admits that she likes me as more than a friend, or that I'm an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke79 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 5 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: Getting married on the 24th. Pretty sure this one likes me as more than a friend. She's great. I love her. But she has this "friend." Let's go back to when I was first planning on proposing. This was back in late 2016. I had just been laid off, and found a new job, working weird hours for significantly less money. In order to survive, I had to work all the overtime I could get just to make end's meet. Also, her father was in the hospital, and her mother was having surgery to remove a tumor. So I had it down to two days, a Friday, ideally, or a Tuesday if I couldn't get a paid day off from work. I told her friend this, and she told me Tuesday doesn't work, because it's her birthday. Not that I cared, but I told her it was most likely gonna be that Friday. She literally goes back to my now fiance and says "He's planning on proposing to you on my birthday! You gotta tell him he can't because I'm not even sure I can be there, and that's MY day to celebrate." I didn't make a big deal out of it because Tuesday didn't work anyway. But it was pretty crappy of her to make it all about herself. Then in April. My fiance's birthday came up, and I threw a surprise party for her. Nothing huge. Just about 7 or 8 of our closest friends. One of my best friends died unexpectedly the day before. I was wanted to cancel, because I honestly just wanted to mope around the house all day, but powered through it anyway. Her alleged best friend didn't make it. She got into an argument with her mom that morning, and was just feeling kinda sad about it and didn't want to go to a party. Also decided not to tell me, after I'd bought enough food for everyone. Now, fast forward to September. She tells my fiance that she can't make the bridal shower, or the rehearsal, because her mom told her she has to go out of town. Side note, this woman is 24 years old, and literally just refuses to get a job and move out of her parent's house. So Sunday, as we're getting ready to go watch the game, she gets a call, that her mom told her she can't go to the bachelorette party this Saturday. My fiance tells her politely but firmly, that if she can't make that, and is only a maybe on the rehersal, that she's invited to the wedding, but she can't be a bridesmaid. Turns out, her mom was only joking with her, and she can make the party, but now refuses to go, based on the fact that my fiance told her that in a hypothetical situation, which isn't happening, she doesn't want to be there. I'm just venting here because the thing I want to say to her aren't nice. My fiance has a full time job, a sick father to take care of, a wedding to plan, and her mom passed a month ago. The last thing she needs is someone causing BS drama in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Sounds like her friend is an immature *****. Keep in mind she's probably going to be in your life as long as you're married. Why's your wife still friends with her at this point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 4 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said: Sounds like her friend is an immature *****. Keep in mind she's probably going to be in your life as long as you're married. Why's your wife still friends with her at this point? Because she's a super forgiving person. To a fault. Which is something I love about her, I just hope she can learn to forgive this person without immediately giving her back all of her trust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 I have no time to deal with cunts - tell her and her mom to ***** off. Tell your fiancé to find a real friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 5 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: Getting married on the 24th. Pretty sure this one likes me as more than a friend. She's getting married. I should hope she does. If not, she's an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 14 minutes ago, DC Tom said: She's getting married. I should hope she does. If not, she's an idiot. Do you know if this bride ? is from Russia? ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snafu Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 24 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said: Sounds like her friend is an immature *****. Keep in mind she's probably going to be in your life as long as you're married. Why's your wife still friends with her at this point? 18 minutes ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: Because she's a super forgiving person. To a fault. Which is something I love about her, I just hope she can learn to forgive this person without immediately giving her back all of her trust. I have to question your fiance's ability to choose and retain her friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teddy KGB Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 4 hours ago, The Real Buffalo Joe said: She'd probably claim to be. She's one of those girls that claim to be bisexual, but pretty sure she's just looking for attention. I think she'd chicken out if ever placed in the situation. Hows the rack ? Built for Speed or Comfort? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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