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ocemur

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About ocemur

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  1. 1) New Era Stadium plays the theme Song from the Golden Girls every time Shady or Gore score a touchdown. 2) Coach McD changes from clapping to jazz hands. It catches on and replaces the high five league wide. 3) Tom Brady is caught writing off visits to a male prostitute as a Nutritional Consultant. Video emerges of him eating ice cream off the body of the young man. Sports Illustrated notes the Tom simultaneously cheated on his wife, his taxes and his diet, then immediately declares Brady its Sportsperson of the Year. 4) The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl 45-16 over the LA Rams. Businesses, Schools and non essential Government offices are closed for three days. Supplies of beer and liquor are rerouted from Cleveland and Pittsburgh as local inventories are quickly depleted. The Parade makes St Patty's day look like an AA meeting. Two national reporters doing stand up shots along the planned route are never heard from again. Raucous fans cause the parade to reroute onto the 290/190 beltway and the parade itself circles the city for 36 hours. A February Toga party breaks out in the Chippewa district. A group calling itself The Sons of Labatt's issues a Declaration of Independence from New York State, The United States, The United Nations and The Planet Earth. It is not clear what area they are declaring as independent. In a follow up, they issue "The Bills of Rights". Items listed include alcohol will be available for sale before 8 AM on Sundays and Tom Brady cheats. As February gives way to March, both Governor Cuomo and President Trump refuse to send in The National Guard. Local Units of the Guard have taken up positions blocking the Thruway. When approached, the simply grab their crotches and shout, "We've got your #$@^@%%^ tolls right here!" and hurl empty beer cans at anyone within range. Boats carrying liquor and beer are seen frequently offloading at docks all along the lake front in what becomes known by the National Media as "the Buffalo Boat Lift". By April, internet connections with the Buffalo Area have been cut. The Federal Government reports that tax receipts from the area are down by 97% over the previous year, although they have received over 2,500 Josh Allen rookie cards. During the broadcast of the 2020 NFL draft, there are no Bills representatives seen until 8 seconds remaining on the clock to make the 32nd pick in the draft, Brandon Beane strides across the stage. He has a two month beard and one eyebrow shaved. He's wearing only a kilt and moon boots and drinking something obscured by a paper bag. He sets the bag down on the podium and gives a Roger Goodell a nuggie. He then approaches the microphone and says, "With the 32nd pick in the 2020 NFL draft, The WORLD CHAMPION BUFFALO BILLS SELECT JACK DANIELS, WHISKEY, TENNESSEE."
  2. I need for them both to be on the field at the same time, one of them scores a touchdown and the Stadium Loudspeakers play the theme from the Golden Girls.
  3. Think about how much you profit from their business. 10-20% is a standard kickback.
  4. I don't know if it qualifies as a conspiracy theory, however, I believe that the refs in the Titans playoff game knew damn well it was an illegal forward pass but they were intimidated by the crowd. In those days the ref went under a little shroud or hood and looked at a tv monitor right near the stands. I think the refs decided not to call it back because they were scared of a violent reaction from the fans. Whether just bottle throwing or a full blown riot, whether they were just scared for their own safety or decided that an incident would look bad for the league, I believe the refs gave the Titans the game in spite of what they saw on the field and on the replay.
  5. That is the mugshot of a guy who knows he made a lot of mistakes.
  6. The only Celebrity cruise I would even consider would require the original cast of the Love Boat working as crew and a smattering of B and C list celebrities.
  7. Absolutely correct. That and some political connections can work wonders.
  8. https://ktla.com/2019/03/18/barstow-high-school-teacher-arrested-accused-of-sexual-relationship-with-16-year-old-student/
  9. Beane just about built an entire offensive unit except QB out of free agents. And that unit might even be better than the offense we fielded last year. My only fear is that we may have a whole lot of average or below average players. There's no spots I would call a true "hole", but the games will come down to how many individual match ups we win. I'd feel better with a couple more studs. Maybe they'll come out of the draft. I'm not criticizing Beane, you can only sign guys who are out there, you can't call up Dominos and have pro bowl players delivered. Hopefully some of these guys step up and improve their game with the chance they have been given.
  10. He seems like Tony Mandarich Jr. to me. But the Bills have an entire staff to vet this stuff, so if he's the pick then I will do what any good Bills fan would. I will get behind him and cheer him on until he screws up and I can say, "I told you so!"
  11. Great. Now I spent six minutes of my life watching this video:
  12. I will pay the PA person at the stadium $50 to play the Golden Girls theme music when the offense takes the field.
  13. I feel like Road House 2 isn't getting enough attention. Instead of popcorn you should have been able to buy torches and pitchforks and a map to the homes of those responsible.
  14. The original Coupling is the funniest sitcom I've ever seen.
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