Royale with Cheese Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school. He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal. Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids. He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”. I see a brown streak running down his leg. He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel. About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him. When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered. I was mortified. Other kids notice and tell their parents. My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom. The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too. She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm. My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets. I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave. I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday. On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****. Edited July 14, 2018 by Royale with Cheese 20 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I am so sorry I am laughing so freaking hard right now..i am sure it sucked...but damn is it funny envisioning the whole thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 1 minute ago, plenzmd1 said: I am so sorry I am laughing so freaking hard right now..i am sure it sucked...but damn is it funny envisioning the whole thing! We couldn’t even keep his clothes, we wrapped those up with a plastic bag and threw them away. His entire shorts were soaked and the same with back of the shirt. We always carry an extra set of clothing for accidents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke79 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) Ahhhhhh the joys of parenthood. Maybe chick fil a gave him the *****. Edited July 14, 2018 by RaoulDuke79 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) I am currently visiting my daughter/son in law/granddaughter. It’s her third birthday. She’s mostly potty trained. We are going to a burger and ice cream place for lunch. No nervousness here. edit... Made it through the day. Some drama when my daughter took her daughter to use the bathroom at the restaurant. Three year old doesn’t like strange bathrooms, but mom calmed her down. Edited July 14, 2018 by Gray Beard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanM.D. Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 18 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said: I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave. I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday. On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****. So.... your son provided her, and her family, with a story that will last that girl's lifetime. That's truly 'the gift that keeps on giving.' I have four kids so I'm fairly immune to any story like this. I've experienced some variation of most. The good thing is that most people with a child will be the ones that understand the best. All you can do is what you did....clean that crap up and move on. Hope the rest of your weekend is a bit more uneventful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cripple Creek Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 52 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said: After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school. He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal. Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids. He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”. I see a brown streak running down his leg. He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel. About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him. When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered. I was mortified. Other kids notice and tell their parents. My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom. The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too. She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm. My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets. I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave. I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday. On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****. So, it does get down hill one way or another. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Happy Birthday to her!!! One she will remember forever, hopefully without requiring a therapist! On the bright side.....the weekend can only get better from here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv's Neighbor Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 What will that 5 year old, covered in sh*t, do at 6 yrs? 5 will be hard to top! By the way, why do they have those filthy slides at fast food places? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RochesterRob Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Welp. Friday was not a great day as I had to chase around to get material for a project. Normal supplier is out so I go across the road to his competitor. Start off well enough in the office even though the price is considerably higher. Go to get loaded and truck is blocking closest door to where I need to be so I go to the next door down in that building. The guy takes the better part of 10 minutes to find it after the office called out to make sure it was there. Only one guy out there so he had to have talked to the office. Then he leaves me so I have to tote 4 50 lb bags 100 feet because nobody wanted to move the darn truck. I am steaming on the way home so I call a place I don't like to do business with but at least their price was in line with my regular supplier. I go to the third place and even though I have to go through the hoops of them placing my name and address into their system I am out getting loaded in 5 minutes and the guy carries several 50 lb bags like he was Popeye. Guys might say things ended well but I had to burn an additional 10 bucks of gas plus I am taking back the first order so that is another 15 bucks but I net 150 dollars when it is done. Had my primary supplier had stock which he should have I could have saved all the hassle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I vaguely remember a hilarious child poop story told here many years ago. Any of you long timers able to refresh my memory? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Definitely feel for you but it sounds like a really good scene in some rom-com with Ben Stiller(as you) as the perpetual bachelor facing the realities of being a dad. Maybe meeting a single mom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 3 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school. He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal. Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids. He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”. I see a brown streak running down his leg. He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel. About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him. When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered. I was mortified. Other kids notice and tell their parents. My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom. The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too. She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm. My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets. I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave. I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday. On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****. Thats nothing buddy... just last week I did the same at the McDonalds play place... the parents were not happy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Your Brown Eye Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Poop never killed no one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keukasmallies Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) May your son not remember the incident as he grows older; may your wife stop taking you to task for letting her be the one to clean up the mess; may you never have to tell this tale outside of TBD; and may you and your wife never think this is a cute tale to tell when your son is within hearing distance. Edited July 14, 2018 by Keukasmallies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 This story is such a metaphor for life. One moment you are gleefully celebrating a triumphant victory, the next you are plummeting downward in a mess of shite. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keukasmallies Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 1 hour ago, Fadingpain said: This story is such a metaphor for life. One moment you are gleefully celebrating a triumphant victory, the next you are plummeting downward in a mess of shite. There's that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 3 hours ago, Keukasmallies said: May your son not remember the incident as he grows older; may your wife stop taking you to task for letting her be the one to clean up the mess; may you never have to tell this tale outside of TBD; and may you and your wife never think this is a cute tale to tell when your son is within hearing distance. ......or.....this story could be the highlight of his rehearsal dinner night! (I have a dark side, I’m afraid.) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 7 hours ago, Chef Jim said: I vaguely remember a hilarious child poop story told here many years ago. Any of you long timers able to refresh my memory? I think Mock might have told a good ? story once upon a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I think this thread should be placed up on a shelf for later retrieval, along with the "poop knife" thread. Both will make good "thread of the year" candidates when the time comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 But seriously, who among us has not had an “uh oh” moment? And not as a three year old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 34 minutes ago, KD in CA said: I think Mock might have told a good ? story once upon a time. Yeah I thought it was him but his kid's not that old. Or maybe he is. Time does fly. He's probably in college now. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasons1992 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Every parent needs to have a kid poop all over everything at least ONCE during their childhood. Yours is worse than most but congrats, you've been "made," and your wife did the right thing in not getting beat up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Goat Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I have not changed a single diaper since my 14-month-old was born. Deal is, my wife does the diapers and I'll do the potty training. Your story scares me. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Fan Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Judging by how the other mother reacted it wouldn’t surprise me if they had it coming to them in one way or another. Reminded me of this movie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinceThe70s Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 13 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school. He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal. Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids. He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”. I see a brown streak running down his leg. He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel. About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him. When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered. I was mortified. Other kids notice and tell their parents. My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom. The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too. She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm. My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets. I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave. I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday. On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****. The fact that you were there to celebrate potty training puts this in the you-can't-make this-poop-up category. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snafu Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Ha! I imagine there's another "this is how my weekend started" thread somewhere else on the internet that starts: "it was my daughters birthday, so I decided to take her to chick fil a". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apuszczalowski Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Not poop, but when I was a really young, my mom took me to McDonalds for lunch while we were out, as we are walking out to the car, my stomach didn't feel right and I just started puking in the parking lot Best part was it was in the path of the drivethru, right in view as cars would pull up to the window to wait for their food. There was a car there with some people who saw it. They were more grossed out by the seagulls that then swooped down to "clean it up". You could hear the people in the car grossed out laughing at what they just saw...... When I was older, we went out for my sisters birthday to a chinese buffet. at teh time I used to be able to eat much more then I can now. I ate and was stuffed but decided to still get jello. as we walked out to the parking lot my stomach started telling me that there "wasn't always room for Jello" and I ran behind the dumpster. As I turned around to see my sister laughing, I also noticed the back door of the restaurant was open and an angry Chinese restaurant cook coming out to take the garbage out after witnessing what had happened..... So far I have been lucky and not had anything happen like this with my kids, yet.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 6 minutes ago, apuszczalowski said: Not poop, but when I was a really young, my mom took me to McDonalds for lunch while we were out, as we are walking out to the car, my stomach didn't feel right and I just started puking in the parking lot Best part was it was in the path of the drivethru, right in view as cars would pull up to the window to wait for their food. There was a car there with some people who saw it. They were more grossed out by the seagulls that then swooped down to "clean it up". You could hear the people in the car grossed out laughing at what they just saw...... When I was older, we went out for my sisters birthday to a chinese buffet. at teh time I used to be able to eat much more then I can now. I ate and was stuffed but decided to still get jello. as we walked out to the parking lot my stomach started telling me that there "wasn't always room for Jello" and I ran behind the dumpster. As I turned around to see my sister laughing, I also noticed the back door of the restaurant was open and an angry Chinese restaurant cook coming out to take the garbage out after witnessing what had happened..... So far I have been lucky and not had anything happen like this with my kids, yet.... OK, here's an idea for a game. Someone use the following words taken from this post and make a joke out of it. Poop Chinese Buffet Jello Seagulls Dumpster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 10 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: Thats nothing buddy... just last week I did the same at the McDonalds play place... the parents were not happy... Do McDonalds play places still exist? I haven't seen one of those in years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 4 minutes ago, Happy Gilmore said: Do McDonalds play places still exist? I haven't seen one of those in years. Yes there is 1 in Cheektowaga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeGOATski Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 What the hell. That's disgusting. Do the potty training at home, please. Only after your kid is fully trained do you let him out without a diaper. That way you're not literally ruining other people's day with your ****. That's really inconsiderate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, LeGOATski said: What the hell. That's disgusting. Do the potty training at home, please. Only after your kid is fully trained do you let him out without a diaper. That way you're not literally ruining other people's day with your ****. That's really inconsiderate. Lighten up. There is always that “gray period”. Our 4 year old grandson has been pretty good for quite a while, but there were always those borderline episodes about a year ago. Same as my kids. It’s not a clear line in the sand where you say “yesterday we were iffy, but today we are perfectly safe!” You can’t wait until they are about to take their drivers license test. Kids are a challenge. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Goat Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 10 minutes ago, LeGOATski said: What the hell. That's disgusting. Do the potty training at home, please. Only after your kid is fully trained do you let him out without a diaper. That way you're not literally ruining other people's day with your ****. That's really inconsiderate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greybeard Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 11 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: Thats nothing buddy... just last week I did the same at the McDonalds play place... the parents were not happy... I didn't think they let grown ups on the play equipment. What did you eat that caused your problem,? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 4 minutes ago, Greybeard said: I didn't think they let grown ups on the play equipment. What did you eat that caused your problem,? Who is going to tell a grown man I can’t eat my McNuggets and slide down the slide? thats life... sometimes you win...sometimes you s*** your pants ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 3 minutes ago, Greybeard said: I didn't think they let grown ups on the play equipment. What did you eat that caused your problem,? Sometimes when you get stuck in the little tube on the slide you just have to wait until you “shrink a little” to get through. Fortunately, your “shrinkage” runs down hill and speeds up the rest of the ride. YAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeGOATski Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 17 minutes ago, Augie said: Lighten up. There is always that “gray period”. Our 4 year old grandson has been pretty good for quite a while, but there were always those borderline episodes about a year ago. Same as my kids. It’s not a clear line in the sand where you say “yesterday we were iffy, but today we are perfectly safe!” You can’t wait until they are about to take their drivers license test. Kids are a challenge. Period. I have two kids. Yes you can. Stop being a gross person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanmiami(oh) Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 This just made my wife and I laugh hysterically. We have a 19 month old and are just getting into the process so it’s also terrifying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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