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This is how my weekend started


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After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school.  He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal.

 

Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids.  He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”.

I see a brown streak running down his leg.  He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel.

 

About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him.  When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered.  I was mortified.

 

Other kids notice and tell their parents.  My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom.  The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too.  She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm.  My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets.

 

I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave.  I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday.  On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****.

Edited by Royale with Cheese
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1 minute ago, plenzmd1 said:

I am so sorry I am laughing so freaking hard right now..i am sure it sucked...but damn is it funny envisioning the whole thing!

 

We couldn’t even keep his clothes, we wrapped those up with a plastic bag and threw them away.  His entire shorts were soaked and the same with back of the shirt.

 

We always carry an extra set of clothing for accidents.

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I am currently visiting my daughter/son in law/granddaughter. It’s her third birthday. She’s mostly potty trained. We are going to a burger and ice cream place for lunch. No nervousness here. 

 

edit...  Made it through the day.  Some drama when my daughter took her daughter to use the bathroom at the restaurant. Three year old doesn’t like strange bathrooms, but mom calmed her down. 

Edited by Gray Beard
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18 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

 

I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave.  I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday.  On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****.

 

So.... your son provided her, and her family, with a story that will last that girl's lifetime.  That's truly 'the gift that keeps on giving.'  

 

I have four kids so I'm fairly immune to any story like this.  I've experienced some variation of most.  The good thing is that most people with a child will be the ones that understand the best.  All you can do is what you did....clean that crap up and move on.  Hope the rest of your weekend is a bit more uneventful.  

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52 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said:

After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school.  He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal.

 

Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids.  He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”.

I see a brown streak running down his leg.  He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel.

 

About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him.  When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered.  I was mortified.

 

Other kids notice and tell their parents.  My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom.  The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too.  She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm.  My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets.

 

I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave.  I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday.  On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****.

So, it does get down hill one way or another.

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  Welp. Friday was not a great day as I had to chase around to get material for a project.  Normal supplier is out so I go across the road to his competitor.  Start off well enough in the office even though the price is considerably higher.  Go to get loaded and truck is blocking closest door to where I need to be so I go to the next door down in that building.  The guy takes the better part of 10 minutes to find it after the office called out to make sure it was there.  Only one guy out there so he had to have talked to the office.  Then he leaves me so I have to tote 4 50 lb bags 100 feet because nobody wanted to move the darn truck.  I am steaming on the way home so I call a place I don't like to do business with but at least their price was in line with my regular supplier.  I go to the third place and even though I have to go through the hoops of them placing my name and address into their system I am out getting loaded in 5 minutes and the guy carries several 50 lb bags like he was Popeye.  Guys might say things ended well but I had to burn an additional 10 bucks of gas plus I am taking back the first order so that is another 15 bucks but I net 150 dollars when it is done.  Had my primary supplier had stock which he should have I could have saved all the hassle.

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Definitely feel for you but it sounds like a really good scene in some rom-com with Ben Stiller(as you) as the perpetual bachelor facing the realities of being a dad. Maybe meeting a single mom? 

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3 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said:

After work Friday, my wife and I took my 3 year old to Chick Fil A as a reward for not having any accidents that week at school.  He’s potty training right now so it was kinda a big deal.

 

Anyway, he’s playing on the playground with a few other kids.  He goes down the slide and when he gets to the bottom, he says “uh oh”.

I see a brown streak running down his leg.  He has diarrhea and when he went down the slide, he spread the “liquid” down the tunnel.

 

About a 5 year old girl slides down right after him.  When she gets to the bottom, her back and back of hair is covered.  I was mortified.

 

Other kids notice and tell their parents.  My wife grabs up my son, takes him to the bathroom.  The other mother with the daughter covered in fecal matter, heads to the bathroom too.  She’s washing her hair in the sink cursing up a storm.  My wife is so embarrassed, she stays in the stall until that mother leaves....which took like 15-20 minuets.

 

I was waiting outside of the bathroom waiting for my wife to finish cleaning and leave.  I find out listening to the other parents talking about the incident....it was that girls birthday.  On her birthday, she slid down a slide of ****.

 

Thats nothing buddy...

 

just last week I did the same at the McDonalds play place...

 

the parents were not happy...

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May your son not remember the incident as he grows older; may your wife stop taking you to task for letting her be the one to clean up the mess; may you never have to tell this tale outside of TBD; and may you and your wife never think this is a cute tale to tell when your son is within hearing distance.

Edited by Keukasmallies
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1 hour ago, Fadingpain said:

This story is such a metaphor for life.

 

One moment you are gleefully celebrating a triumphant victory, the next you are plummeting downward in a mess of shite.

 

 

 

 

There's that....

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3 hours ago, Keukasmallies said:

May your son not remember the incident as he grows older; may your wife stop taking you to task for letting her be the one to clean up the mess; may you never have to tell this tale outside of TBD; and may you and your wife never think this is a cute tale to tell when your son is within hearing distance.

 

 

......or.....this story could be the highlight of his rehearsal dinner night!

 

 

 

(I have a dark side, I’m afraid.) 

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7 hours ago, Chef Jim said:

I vaguely remember a hilarious child poop story told here many years ago. Any of you long timers able to refresh my memory?  

 

I think Mock might have told a good ? story once upon a time.

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