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Attack the QB’s


Virgil

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Let’s get negative. With all the talk of who everyone wants, let’s maybe have some fun and talk the cons of the possible QBs. 

 

Cousins - While he throws for a ton of yards, he’s only made the playoffs once. His own team doesn’t want him. Stafford threw for a ton of yards without playoff success, so it doesn’t mean everything. Sorry for the 300 yard fan club guys. Oh yeah, he’s also going to break the bank for a few years while we have a lot of empty spots. 

 

Darnold - Are USC QB’s ever successful in the NFL?  Took a step back, only has two seasons under his belt, and doesn’t play a tough schedule. Weird ass delivery 

 

Allen - All the tools but none of the success or experience. Sounds like Tannehil. Throws off his back foot. Only needs to find accuracy and awareness. Aren’t those the key components to an NFL qb?  Cardelle had the height, arm, and skills too. 

 

Mayfield - Maybe 6’1” and played in a spread offense.  Character issues and cockey for not playing a single NFL snap. 

 

Rosen - 6’4” but only 210-220 pounds? Seems too light to take an NFL hit. Comes in with nerve damage in his shoulder and two concussions. 

 

Keenum/Foles - were they on anyone’s radar 4 months ago?

 

Some are going to take this too seriously, but I like a little hazing from time to time. 

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20 minutes ago, Virgil said:

Let’s get negative. With all the talk of who everyone wants, let’s maybe have some fun and talk the cons of the possible QBs. 

 

Cousins - While he throws for a ton of yards, he’s only made the playoffs once. His own team doesn’t want him. Stafford threw for a ton of yards without playoff success, so it doesn’t mean everything. Sorry for the 300 yard fan club guys. Oh yeah, he’s also going to break the bank for a few years while we have a lot of empty spots. 

 

Darnold - Are USC QB’s ever successful in the NFL?  Took a step back, only has two seasons under his belt, and doesn’t play a tough schedule. Weird ass delivery 

 

Allen - All the tools but none of the success or experience. Sounds like Tannehil. Throws off his back foot. Only needs to find accuracy and awareness. Aren’t those the key components to an NFL qb?  Cardelle had the height, arm, and skills too. 

 

Mayfield - Maybe 6’1” and played in a spread offense.  Character issues and cockey for not playing a single NFL snap. 

 

Rosen - 6’4” but only 210-220 pounds? Seems too light to take an NFL hit. Comes in with nerve damage in his shoulder and two concussions. 

 

Keenum/Foles - were they on anyone’s radar 4 months ago?

 

Some are going to take this too seriously, but I like a little hazing from time to time. 

 

 

The USC QB thing has definite merit though!

 

-Todd marinovich!

-John David booty!

-Matt Barkley!

-Cody Kessler!

-Matt leinart!

-"Mr. Butt fumble" Mark "the Sanchize" Sanchez !!!

-Rob Johnson (*vomit*)!!

-Rodney Peete!!

-Matt Cassel!

-Carson Palmer!! (He was actually legit)

 

That list is a sad sack of sh*t QBs

 

 

 

 

Oh also, for the laughs:

 

Mike White - terrible name, seriously, I mean, how can you say "my franchise QB is Mike White"??

Edited by SouthNYfan
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23 minutes ago, Virgil said:

Let’s get negative. With all the talk of who everyone wants, let’s maybe have some fun and talk the cons of the possible QBs. 

 

Cousins - While he throws for a ton of yards, he’s only made the playoffs once. His own team doesn’t want him. Stafford threw for a ton of yards without playoff success, so it doesn’t mean everything. Sorry for the 300 yard fan club guys. Oh yeah, he’s also going to break the bank for a few years while we have a lot of empty spots. 

 

Darnold - Are USC QB’s ever successful in the NFL?  Took a step back, only has two seasons under his belt, and doesn’t play a tough schedule. Weird ass delivery 

 

Allen - All the tools but none of the success or experience. Sounds like Tannehil. Throws off his back foot. Only needs to find accuracy and awareness. Aren’t those the key components to an NFL qb?  Cardelle had the height, arm, and skills too. 

 

Mayfield - Maybe 6’1” and played in a spread offense.  Character issues and cockey for not playing a single NFL snap. 

 

Rosen - 6’4” but only 210-220 pounds? Seems too light to take an NFL hit. Comes in with nerve damage in his shoulder and two concussions. 

 

Keenum/Foles - were they on anyone’s radar 4 months ago?

 

Some are going to take this too seriously, but I like a little hazing from time to time. 

Ok. My thoughts in no particular order.

 

- Cousins: Too "pretty" for Buffalo. "You like that?" sounds like something an egotistical date rapist would ask. 

 

- Bradford: More like Glassford...and that's close to saying Gladstone. Joey Gladstone. That's the dude that gave a cross eyed bear to Alanis Morresette. Pass. 

 

- Keenum: He's so bland I have nothing negative to say. 

 

- Bridgewater: Teddy Bridgewater? Man these Madden generated names get worse every year. In the time I typed this his knee exploded 3 times.

 

- Foles/Glennon: You don't put a giraffe in a football helmet. 

 

- Mayfield: Baker Mayfield is 3 feet tall. And that's with 6 inch lifts. He's a toddler. He wasn't grabbing his crotch. He was signalling the sideline his diaper needed changing.

 

- Jackson: Terrell Pryor says hello.

 

- Darnold: Got the USC QB stink on him. If he is the guy and doesn't do well we can call him Damnold. So that's a plus.

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38 minutes ago, Blokestradamus said:

Kyle Lauletta - Richmond are called the Spiders. I hate spiders.

 

Ooooh, Lamar Jackson - too short, is actually a wide receiver.

 

Well yes but turn it around.  Spiders are scary.  Don't we want a scary QB?

11 minutes ago, KelsaysLunchbox said:

Ok. My thoughts in no particular order.

- Bradford: More like Glassford...(...)

- Bridgewater: Teddy Bridgewater? Man these Madden generated names get worse every year. In the time I typed this his knee exploded 3 times.

- Mayfield: Baker Mayfield is 3 feet tall. And that's with 6 inch lifts. He's a toddler. He wasn't grabbing his crotch. He was signalling the sideline his diaper needed changing.

 

Nice.  Especially Mayfield.

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1 hour ago, Virgil said:

Let’s get negative. With all the talk of who everyone wants, let’s maybe have some fun and talk the cons of the possible QBs.

 

OK, now remember folks, all in fun!

 

Cousins - Hugs the GM who says he's not special and asks how he likes him.  Who wants a kissin' Cousins?

Keenum - Throws balls 3 feet over his WR head or letting them Diggs them out.  They're Theilen him, but I'm not Keen, Um.

Foles - His nickname would demoralize our locker room.  (You know the nickname I'm talking about.)

Bradford - His knee is held together with Brads, and he's FORD all right - Fix Or Repair Daily

Bridgewater - Who wants a QB nicknamed for Lingerie?  Don't they have a separate league for that?

 

Darnold - So little experience and comes from a spread offense, we'll be Darn Old before he learns to play in the NFL

Allen - As our QB, his inaccuracy would make him a wrenching experience for fans

Mayfield - May be tall enough to play on an NFL Field.  But "May bees don't fly in September"

Rudolph - Unlike his namesake's nose, he'll find an NFL D is not always easily read.

Jackson - like Bridgewater, only pre-disaster

White - I think his name is a black mark against him

Lauletta - LOL at Etta, who frightened Miss Muffet to bits

Rosen - thorny, troublesome, fragile, and ready to bloom

 

Just fun now!

 

 

Edited by Hapless Bills Fan
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4 hours ago, KelsaysLunchbox said:

Ok. My thoughts in no particular order.

 

- Cousins: Too "pretty" for Buffalo. "You like that?" sounds like something an egotistical date rapist would ask. 

 

- Bradford: More like Glassford...and that's close to saying Gladstone. Joey Gladstone. That's the dude that gave a cross eyed bear to Alanis Morresette. Pass. 

 

- Keenum: He's so bland I have nothing negative to say. 

 

- Bridgewater: Teddy Bridgewater? Man these Madden generated names get worse every year. In the time I typed this his knee exploded 3 times.

 

- Foles/Glennon: You don't put a giraffe in a football helmet. 

 

- Mayfield: Baker Mayfield is 3 feet tall. And that's with 6 inch lifts. He's a toddler. He wasn't grabbing his crotch. He was signalling the sideline his diaper needed changing.

 

- Jackson: Terrell Pryor says hello.

 

- Darnold: Got the USC QB stink on him. If he is the guy and doesn't do well we can call him Damnold. So that's a plus.

:lol:

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I look at Foles as my oh **** option. If we go through March and then April with no resolution then I see us making a strong push for Foles. I don't see him being dealt until after the draft but I'm no Miss Chloe I'm just thinking ahead.

 

I want Case Keenum. Want 20 a year? No problem, the market is going to explode, I'd sign him quick before Brees and Cousins sign.

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My thread post about quarterbacks and character was too positive, even for me. So, I thought replying in this thread about the negatives of the quarterback prospects was more fitting, and as I needed better balance.

 

Josh Rosen thinks he is God, Jesus and Robin Hood all combined in one.And his favorite candy likely is Peanut Brittle. No thanks.

 

Sam Darnold: I would buy ones of his wigs, from this oversized very laid back surfer dude. 

 

Baker Mayfield: Are You related to Jake the Snake? Too much slithering excitement for me. 

 

Josh Allen: A strong arm is nice, but it would help if your ball could reach receivers hands. Maybe you should be Harrison's or Beast Mode's security guard.

 

Lamar Jackson seems really nice and cool, but so is that stuff you put on pumpkin pie. A quarterback cannot do everything in the NFL, if your mother is chasing you telling you to drink your milk and eat your wheaties. 

 

Kyle Lauletta already is the next Brady and Jimmy G. And he looks way better than them. If it's too good to be true, let's pass on him.

 

Mike White and Mason Rudolph seem like two of the nicest and mature guys I have seen. These  guys will finish last. Those who 

have gigantic heads with smaller brains are what The NFL wants with this fake CTE stuff, according to them.

 

Luke Falk is pretending to be Jimmie Johnson, that race car driver. I do not want a guy that never loses. That would be too boring.

 

Riley Fergusson: I got some propecia and rogaine for you. I am not sure if that would affect your voice and performance though. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, drf1835 said:

My thread post about quarterbacks and character was too positive, even for me. So, I thought replying in this thread about the negatives of the quarterback prospects was more fitting, and as I needed better balance.

 

Josh Rosen thinks he is God, Jesus and Robin Hood all combined in one.And his favorite candy likely is Peanut Brittle. No thanks.

 

Sam Darnold: I would buy ones of his wigs, from this oversized very laid back surfer dude. 

 

Baker Mayfield: Are You related to Jake the Snake? Too much slithering excitement for me. 

 

Josh Allen: A strong arm is nice, but it would help if your ball could reach receivers hands. Maybe you should be Harrison's or Beast Mode's security guard.

 

Lamar Jackson seems really nice and cool, but so is that stuff you put on pumpkin pie. A quarterback cannot do everything in the NFL, if your mother is chasing you telling you to drink your milk and eat your wheaties. 

 

Kyle Lauletta already is the next Brady and Jimmy G. And he looks way better than them. If it's too good to be true, let's pass on him.

 

Mike White and Mason Rudolph seem like two of the nicest and mature guys I have seen. These  guys will finish last. Those who 

have gigantic heads with smaller brains are what The NFL wants with this fake CTE stuff, according to them.

 

Luke Falk is pretending to be Jimmie Johnson, that race car driver. I do not want a guy that never loses. That would be too boring.

 

Riley Fergusson: I got some propecia and rogaine for you. I am not sure if that would affect your voice and performance though. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lost my **** on a few of these. Well done 

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Re: Darnold being from USC. People are aware, right, that for decades, playing QB at Michigan was regarded as a scarlet letter among NFL fans? Let's look at it another way, accepting that Carson Palmer was a very good and legit NFL player (there's one for USC). Pat Haden was league average on a winning team for half a decade too (the Rams went 35-19 when he started).

 

Other schools:

 

Georgia: Who outside of Stafford?

Ohio State: Anyone?

ND: Who since Joe Montana?

Purdue: Who besides Brees and Griese?

Florida: Anyone?

NC State: Who besides Rivers and Roman Gabriel?

Alabama: Who since Joe Namath and Stabler? That was 50 years ago.

Penn State: Kerry Collins (a real stretch) and then who?

UCLA: Who besides Aikman?

Texas: Anyone?

LSU: Who besides Bert Jones?

Ole Miss: Who besides Eli?

Tennessee: Who beside Peyton?

Pitt: Who besides Marino?

Wisconsin: Who besides Russell Wilson?

Cal: Rogers and Goff (good for them). But who else over decades and decades?

Oregon: Who besides Fouts? (I am not sold on Mariota)

Michigan State: Who besides Cousins?

Stanford: Elway, Luck, Plunkett, and John Brodie. They're golden.

Texas A & M: Anyone? 

Oklahoma: Assuming Bradford doesn't qualify, anyone?

Nebraska: Anyone? 

Auburn: Who besides Newton?

Florida State: Maybe Brad Johnson, and maybe Winston (who I am no sold on). Neither are great.

BYU: Who besides Steve Young? (Jim McMahon was a very mediocre player blessed with playing alongside a great defense)

Washington: Who besides Warren Moon and maybe Mark Brunell?

Washington State: Who besides Bledsoe and maybe Mark Rypien? 

Miami: Who besides Kelly and maybe Vinnie Testaverde (a real stretch)?

Delaware: Flacco and Gannon. Good showing for a nothing program.

Northern Illinois: Garrapolo and Romo. Another good showing for a nothing program. 

UNC: Anyone?

UVA: Anyone besides Matt Schaub?

Va Tech: Anyone besides Vick and (cough) Tyrod?

 

I could go on.  Outside of the bay area, there is no such thing as a "QB factory" -- and even at Stanford/Cal, the successes are few and far between. 

 

The lesson here: judge the player, not the school he went to. 

 

 

 

 

Edited by dave mcbride
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22 minutes ago, Virgil said:

 

I lost my **** on a few of these. Well done 

 

Thanks. That was a nice topic to get some of our sarcastic or other  humor out. The person who said  Foles was a giraffe was spot on. It reminded me of some other famous NFL persons, who reminded me of some animal.

 

 Ditka= A bear (because of his looks and tough and gruff demeanor)

Holmgren= A Walrus (his facial looks and body size)

Elway= A colt or bronco (his teeth and the way he was physically built and moved)

Singletary= A Seal ( his looks, demeanor and elusiveness) 

Joe Montana- A laughing Hyena (his looks and body frame, and as the capital of Montana is Helena)

 

Whenever I watched these persons, I could not stop thinking of that stuff. And yet I always thought of them all in the most positive terms, with regards to their talent, success, legendary status and longevity.

 

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