Captain Hindsight Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 (edited) It's probably a company by company thing but yes if you quit after taking it , some may require you pay back the money they used to pay your insurance and such Edited August 9, 2021 by Buffalo716 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said: I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? If it’s the right job with the right company, my advise is to look long term and do what is best for you and your family now and down the road. You may have to suck it up and repay some which might be painful, especially with a newborn. If you can swing it, I’d recommend keeping my eye on the big prize. I always prefer to look LONG TERM with these decisions. Edited August 9, 2021 by Augie 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmotionallyUnstable Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 If they make the offer, and they’re serious about hiring you, explain your situation to management and I imagine they could hook you up with HR, to help you navigate these circumstances. Chances are they’ve dealt with something similar, or can at least offer you some more meaningful advice. I’ve only ever been hired using an interview process once, but in my experience, it’s best to lay all your cards on the table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted August 8, 2021 Share Posted August 8, 2021 2 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said: I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? Can you start work with your new company after your FMLA ends +/- a couple weeks for notice that you're leaving? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Joshin' Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 You may be able to negotiate a signing bonus or delayed start in a tight job market. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 Yes you never want to burn a bridge because in hindsight……. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BADOLBILZ Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 Honestly, your biggest concern going forward if you irritate your current employer is a future employer finding out that you took 8 weeks of family leave when you didn't give birth. You may think that's a male chauvinist perspective.........but if so, you haven't heard female management discussing the topic. I've found they keep more detailed mental lists of slights/perceived wrongs.😉 It makes you look like a clock puncher/non-career oriented employee..........and a prime candidate for top grading off in the future when there could be less demand for your services. My advice is cut your leave short, even if you have to return some money and be forthright your employer. Most of the time people think that their company values them more than they do. Think of it as an extension of the "20% of people do 80% of the work and 80% of the people think they are the 20%" axiom. It's possible they will be relieved...........but finding out AFTER your paid leave is almost up and THEN having to find a replacement after someone worked to keep your seat warm is not a good way to leave. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenorthremembers Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 8 hours ago, BADOLBILZ said: Honestly, your biggest concern going forward if you irritate your current employer is a future employer finding out that you took 8 weeks of family leave when you didn't give birth. You may think that's a male chauvinist perspective.........but if so, you haven't heard female management discussing the topic. I've found they keep more detailed mental lists of slights/perceived wrongs.😉 It makes you look like a clock puncher/non-career oriented employee..........and a prime candidate for top grading off in the future when there could be less demand for your services. My advice is cut your leave short, even if you have to return some money and be forthright your employer. Most of the time people think that their company values them more than they do. Think of it as an extension of the "20% of people do 80% of the work and 80% of the people think they are the 20%" axiom. It's possible they will be relieved...........but finding out AFTER your paid leave is almost up and THEN having to find a replacement after someone worked to keep your seat warm is not a good way to leave. Totally agree with this. Ive worked with the same company for 11 years, and there is no way I would take the full 8 weeks and then leave. I know its not a popular opinion these days, but like it or not that company has helped you lay the foundation of having a family. Rather than taking a tactical approach try and consider what the right way to do things is. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Fan Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 14 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said: I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? Congrats on the newborn! I actually envy the position you’re in in a way. I don’t necessarily agree with the saying the best time to look for a job is when you’re employed. I’m sure it looks better but you have more time to emotionally invest in interviews if you’re home. Plus the awkward try to leave work early/not raise suspicion thing. In a way you have the best of both worlds. As other said here my advise is to trust you’re gut and think what’s best for you long term Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 11 hours ago, BADOLBILZ said: Honestly, your biggest concern going forward if you irritate your current employer is a future employer finding out that you took 8 weeks of family leave when you didn't give birth. You may think that's a male chauvinist perspective.........but if so, you haven't heard female management discussing the topic. I've found they keep more detailed mental lists of slights/perceived wrongs.😉 It makes you look like a clock puncher/non-career oriented employee..........and a prime candidate for top grading off in the future when there could be less demand for your services. My advice is cut your leave short, even if you have to return some money and be forthright your employer. Most of the time people think that their company values them more than they do. Think of it as an extension of the "20% of people do 80% of the work and 80% of the people think they are the 20%" axiom. It's possible they will be relieved...........but finding out AFTER your paid leave is almost up and THEN having to find a replacement after someone worked to keep your seat warm is not a good way to leave. @Captain Hindsight - Disregard what's written above. First of all - dads taking paternal leave is very common. This isn't 1970. Secondly, all FMLA does is secure your job when out on medical leave. It has nothing to do with pay. The only way you'll owe the company money if you leave is if you're being paid with PTO that you haven't yet accrued. For example, where I work, hourly employees get 24 PTO days per year ... so they accrue two days/month. If someone wants to take 10 PTO days in January, they can - even though they're only accruing two days at the end of January. If they quit on Feb. 1st, then 8 days (64 hours) of PTO would come out of their last paycheck because they took those days off using PTO and were paid for them before they'd accrued the time. Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with FMLA. Lastly, if you're honest with your future employer about your paternal leave, they will understand and - if they're a decent company - encourage you to take what you need prior to starting. That said, I'll refer to the previous paragraph .... if you're using your PTO to get paid during leave, then you may want to consider cutting your leave short and starting your new job earlier, strictly for financial reasons. Best of luck to you and congrats on the baby! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 9, 2021 Author Share Posted August 9, 2021 15 hours ago, Doc said: Can you start work with your new company after your FMLA ends +/- a couple weeks for notice that you're leaving? I hope so. I was pretty open with the recruiter on the inital call about my situation and they didnt seem to think that was a problem 17 hours ago, EmotionallyUnstable said: If they make the offer, and they’re serious about hiring you, explain your situation to management and I imagine they could hook you up with HR, to help you navigate these circumstances. Chances are they’ve dealt with something similar, or can at least offer you some more meaningful advice. I’ve only ever been hired using an interview process once, but in my experience, it’s best to lay all your cards on the table. I will do this, this is good advice. 2 hours ago, Gugny said: @Captain Hindsight - Disregard what's written above. First of all - dads taking paternal leave is very common. This isn't 1970. Secondly, all FMLA does is secure your job when out on medical leave. It has nothing to do with pay. The only way you'll owe the company money if you leave is if you're being paid with PTO that you haven't yet accrued. For example, where I work, hourly employees get 24 PTO days per year ... so they accrue two days/month. If someone wants to take 10 PTO days in January, they can - even though they're only accruing two days at the end of January. If they quit on Feb. 1st, then 8 days (64 hours) of PTO would come out of their last paycheck because they took those days off using PTO and were paid for them before they'd accrued the time. Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with FMLA. Lastly, if you're honest with your future employer about your paternal leave, they will understand and - if they're a decent company - encourage you to take what you need prior to starting. That said, I'll refer to the previous paragraph .... if you're using your PTO to get paid during leave, then you may want to consider cutting your leave short and starting your new job earlier, strictly for financial reasons. Best of luck to you and congrats on the baby! Thanks, I have only used 2 days of PTO just to finish out the week my son was born, so I still have a week or so built up. I am getting the FMLA through a company called shelterpoint, only got one check so far last interview went well, he basically told me I'm going to get an offer so I guess I will just have to review it and make the best decision for me and my family thanks everyone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teef Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 4 hours ago, Gugny said: @Captain Hindsight - Disregard what's written above. First of all - dads taking paternal leave is very common. This isn't 1970. Secondly, all FMLA does is secure your job when out on medical leave. It has nothing to do with pay. The only way you'll owe the company money if you leave is if you're being paid with PTO that you haven't yet accrued. For example, where I work, hourly employees get 24 PTO days per year ... so they accrue two days/month. If someone wants to take 10 PTO days in January, they can - even though they're only accruing two days at the end of January. If they quit on Feb. 1st, then 8 days (64 hours) of PTO would come out of their last paycheck because they took those days off using PTO and were paid for them before they'd accrued the time. Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with FMLA. Lastly, if you're honest with your future employer about your paternal leave, they will understand and - if they're a decent company - encourage you to take what you need prior to starting. That said, I'll refer to the previous paragraph .... if you're using your PTO to get paid during leave, then you may want to consider cutting your leave short and starting your new job earlier, strictly for financial reasons. Best of luck to you and congrats on the baby! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back2Buff Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 21 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said: I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? If you think this job is the best situation for your family long term, but you still want your relationship with your past employer, you go back to work ASAP and cut the leave short. Allows for a transition phase for your past employer. This whole dudes taking weeks and weeks off for a baby is so strange to me. That thing didn't come out of you. Never was needed years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 Lot of boomers in this thread!! 😃 Times have changed. If you are a millennial or younger, you take your full paternity leave proudly. At a prior workplace, we had people leave all the time mid-maternity and mid-paternity leave to go other places. It’s pretty common. You Might irritate a few people, but with some good Messaging, I doubt it is grounds to burn bridges. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Miyagi-Do Karate said: Lot of boomers in this thread!! 😃 Times have changed. If you are a millennial or younger, you take your full paternity leave proudly. At a prior workplace, we had people leave all the time mid-maternity and mid-paternity leave to go other places. It’s pretty common. You Might irritate a few people, but with some good Messaging, I doubt it is grounds to burn bridges. I mean just cuz you can doesn't mean you need to I'm not going to chastise anybody who does But I know plenty of men who don't, and it doesn't make them less of fathers Some men need to work and be active.. like mentally and physically they need to grind.. it helps their mood and everything Edited August 9, 2021 by Buffalo716 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: I mean just cuz you can doesn't mean you need to I'm not going to chastise anybody who does But I know plenty of men who don't, and it doesn't make them less of fathers Some men need to work and be active.. like mentally and physically they need to grind.. it helps their mood and everything yeah, to each his own. My point is only that there isn’t the stigma of paternity leave there was once, or at least the fear of retribution. Millennials and pretty much non-boomers are going to take leave if they want. Amongst millennials, surveys indicate that things like work-life balance and leave policies are more valued than salary. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 2 minutes ago, Miyagi-Do Karate said: yeah, to each his own. My point is only that there isn’t the stigma of paternity leave there was once, or at least the fear of retribution. Millennials and pretty much non-boomers are going to take leave if they want. Amongst millennials, surveys indicate that things like work-life balance and leave policies are more valued than salary. I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 1 hour ago, Buffalo716 said: I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work yeah, not everyone is the same. But you would be surprised at the stats on this. This is something I just pulled up, even though it’s four years old (I would guess the numbers are even higher now): “Millennials value parental leave more than earlier generations, so much so that 83 percent of American millennials said in Ernst & Young’s global generational survey of 9,700 people that they would be more likely to join a company offering such benefits. What’s more, 38 percent even said they would move from the United States to another country with better leave policies.” https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2017/11/28/well/family/millennials-see-paternity-leave-as-a-priority.amp.html 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 4:50 PM, Miyagi-Do Karate said: Lot of boomers in this thread!! 😃 Times have changed. If you are a millennial or younger, you take your full paternity leave proudly. At a prior workplace, we had people leave all the time mid-maternity and mid-paternity leave to go other places. It’s pretty common. You Might irritate a few people, but with some good Messaging, I doubt it is grounds to burn bridges. the bridges burned by participating in reasonable accommodations afforded to your family are usually not bridges you would want cross again anyway. Don’t be a jerk about things and don’t screw anyone just for the sake of doing them dirty… but also don’t shortchange your family because you are playing scared either. On 8/9/2021 at 8:17 PM, Buffalo716 said: I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work I mean obviously a survey expressing a shift in preferences doesn’t express uniform and lock step stances on a topic across tens of millions of people. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmotionallyUnstable Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 9:17 PM, Buffalo716 said: I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work Interesting. Im in that generation, with two working parents and children. Out of curiosity, do they stay home to take care of kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 2 minutes ago, EmotionallyUnstable said: Interesting. Im in that generation, with two working parents and children. Out of curiosity, do they stay home to take care of kids? My friends who work 100 hour weeks? No, they work that much.. so their wife could be a stay-at-home mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmotionallyUnstable Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 1 minute ago, Buffalo716 said: My friends who work 100 hour weeks? No, they work that much.. so their wife could be a stay-at-home mom Right, that’s what I meant. I think that’s a pretty common occurrence, considering the costs of child care in our country. We’ve discussed it, but it doesn’t make sense for us right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 Just now, EmotionallyUnstable said: Right, that’s what I meant. I think that’s a pretty common occurrence, considering the costs of child care in our country. We’ve discussed it, but it doesn’t make sense for us right now But the cost of living a pride doesn't make sense for many people But if you have a paid off mortgage or a cheap one.. it's something that might be possible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 8:17 PM, Buffalo716 said: I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work Mormons have a notoriously strong work ethic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 11 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: My friends who work 100 hour weeks? No, they work that much.. so their wife could be a stay-at-home mom If my son ever tries to marry this kind of a lazy slut, I'll punch him in the face. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Gugny said: If my son ever tries to marry this kind of a lazy slut, I'll punch him in the face. It's not even about laziness to them .. my friends are the boss and tell them to not work and raise the kids They make enough money and want their wife to be full time stay at home moms.. it's my friends call , not the wives.. especially when you have 3-4 children in a row and prefer not to use child care It might be different when the kids are older Edited August 16, 2021 by Buffalo716 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 3 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: It's not even about laziness to them .. my friends are the boss and tell them to not work and raise the kids They make enough money and want their wife to be full time stay at home moms.. it's my friends call , not the wives.. especially when you have 3-4 children in a row and prefer not to use child care It might be different when the kids are older Oh, well in that case, I totally get it. I mean, as long as she's got dinner ready every night, never lets hubby's beer get empty and only speaks when spoken to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 I’m confused about one thing — FMLA has nothing to do with pay. It’s a protection in place to keep your job when you’re out for a medical/health reason. If you’re getting paid during your paternity leave that’s either a specific company policy, your PTO, or a supplemental insurance plan. Anyway, ignore the Neanderthals telling you taking paternity leave will make female management downgrade you. My rules about employment decisions: be up front, be ethical, think long term, and don’t apologize for doing what’s best for you. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back2Buff Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 59 minutes ago, eball said: I’m confused about one thing — FMLA has nothing to do with pay. It’s a protection in place to keep your job when you’re out for a medical/health reason. If you’re getting paid during your paternity leave that’s either a specific company policy, your PTO, or a supplemental insurance plan. Anyway, ignore the Neanderthals telling you taking paternity leave will make female management downgrade you. My rules about employment decisions: be up front, be ethical, think long term, and don’t apologize for doing what’s best for you. NYS has Paid FMLA. Its pretty substantial too. Many dads have been taking advantage of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 12 minutes ago, Back2Buff said: NYS has Paid FMLA. Its pretty substantial too. Many dads have been taking advantage of it. Ahh, did not know that! Thx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 17 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: My friends who work 100 hour weeks? No, they work that much.. so their wife could be a stay-at-home mom 6 hours ago, Gugny said: If my son ever tries to marry this kind of a lazy slut, I'll punch him in the face. 6 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: It's not even about laziness to them .. my friends are the boss and tell them to not work and raise the kids They make enough money and want their wife to be full time stay at home moms.. it's my friends call , not the wives. If my son ever tries to marry a woman who doesn't think for herself, I'll punch him in the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 3 minutes ago, WhoTom said: If my son ever tries to marry a woman who doesn't think for herself, I'll punch him in the face. We are good dads. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeviF Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 lmao some really hot takes about stay-at-home moms here. I retired my wife. If she wants to sell ***** on Etsy or go get a cute little part time job when my kid(s) are older she can feel free. She wants to be a mom and by good fortune and hard work I have the ability to make that a reality for her. It's criminal that most families in this country can't pay a mortgage and put food on the table on one income. But to send her back to the salon six weeks after giving birth so we can take $1500 a month out of her take-home to pay for full time daycare is the epitome of stupid. Not to mention the dozens of reports about daycares I had to handle in my time at CPS. I guess that's the price I pay for marrying a stupid, lazy slut, huh guys? I'm sure my dad will love to hear about the ways he failed me from you titans of virility. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 27 minutes ago, LeviF said: lmao some really hot takes about stay-at-home moms here. I have no problem with stay-at-home moms. My wife did it, but it was by mutual choice, not because "I said so." Show me a marriage where one person always dictates and the other always complies, and I'll show you two insecure people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeviF Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 4 minutes ago, WhoTom said: I have no problem with stay-at-home moms. My wife did it, but it was by mutual choice, not because "I said so." Show me a marriage where one person always dictates and the other always complies, and I'll show you two insecure people. lol with the way marriage and divorce works in the US there is no woman who doesn't have the option to just take the kids, half his income, and the house. She made the choice whether you (or her husband) think she did or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 I work in HR. You won’t “burn a bridge” if you resign in a professional manner. You will need to consider the timing needs of the future employer in terms of whether you start prior to or after your 8 weeks is up. We have numerous new mothers who use their full 16 weeks and then say they aren’t returning. It’s common and not that unexpected tbh. We have tons of new dad who take the full paternity leave (it is 6 weeks for us). In the end, the more notice you give your current employer, the better, so they can replace you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, Gugny said: Oh, well in that case, I totally get it. I mean, as long as she's got dinner ready every night, never lets hubby's beer get empty and only speaks when spoken to. 5 hours ago, LeviF said: lol with the way marriage and divorce works in the US there is no woman who doesn't have the option to just take the kids, half his income, and the house. She made the choice whether you (or her husband) think she did or not. I think you're underestimating that there are still some really conservative, submissive women Who want a man, to be the man of the house.. the classic 1950s Man of the House.. there were tons of mothers who didn't work back then They're still some women like that.. Can she leave and take half his stuff, absolutely, but my friend is absolutely in charge of the family 8 hours ago, Gugny said: Oh, well in that case, I totally get it. I mean, as long as she's got dinner ready every night, never lets hubby's beer get empty and only speaks when spoken to. If you saw their relationship, dichotomy is not far off She's a classic 1950s stay-at-home mom.. and if people think that doesn't exist anymore their mistaken Their relationship definitely isn't perfect, but he's definitely the man of the house, and in charge Edited August 16, 2021 by Buffalo716 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 8 hours ago, eball said: I’m confused about one thing — FMLA has nothing to do with pay. It’s a protection in place to keep your job when you’re out for a medical/health reason. If you’re getting paid during your paternity leave that’s either a specific company policy, your PTO, or a supplemental insurance plan. Anyway, ignore the Neanderthals telling you taking paternity leave will make female management downgrade you. My rules about employment decisions: be up front, be ethical, think long term, and don’t apologize for doing what’s best for you. and don’t always be up front. because HR is not your advocate by design. Don’t be an ass, but look out for yourself across these transitions and know hr is there to generally protect the company and not you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 12 minutes ago, NoSaint said: and don’t always be up front. because HR is not your advocate by design. Don’t be an ass, but look out for yourself across these transitions and know hr is there to generally protect the company and not you. I'm really speaking with regard to one's boss, not HR. And "up front" doesn't mean telling them everything, but it does mean not hiding something material. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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