Things Our Wives Do That Drive Us Crazy!!

[Johnny Hammersticks]

 

Um, that's what I do when I find a piece of a game is missing.

Oh ****. You're not my wife are you?

[DC Tom]

Oh ****. You're not my wife are you?

 

You wish you were married to triple-Ds.

[MDH]

My wife can't load the dishwasher for sh*t. It's like she doesn't even try to maximize the space, she just tosses it all in there in any willy-nilly any random way she can. Annoys the hell out of me that I have to take the time to completely reorganize it. I'd rather her just not "help."

 

The thing that completely drives me crazy is she insists on putting chop sticks into the silver wear compartment despite the fact that they slide though and hit the bottom of the dishwasher. So when you go to pull the drawer out it gets stuck on the chop stick, sometimes breaking it, and often times throwing the drawer off the track. I've almost lost the entire lower drawer of dishes onto the floor a few times as the drawer went off the track due to a chop stick.

 

And no, we don't use chop sticks that often, but we'll order Chinese every 3 or 4 weeks and without fail, no matter how many times I ask her not to do it, she puts the f$&%*ing chop sticks in the silver wear drawer! And yeah, it just happened a few moments ago, so its' fresh in my mind and this is the first place I thought of to vent.

[Chef Jim]

My wife can't load the dishwasher for sh*t.

 

Ha!! I just throw stuff in the dishwasher because I know my wife is just going to rearrange everything properly.

 

I also have to say that after reading this thread I'm one lucky guy.

[zow2]

If i step over something on the stairs, and continue to walk upstairs without taking whatever it is, she flips out as if I purposely step over it. Like I'm supposed to know that anytime something is placed on the stairs it is there for me to take up?!? We have 3 kids and there is always crap lying around.

[Miyagi-Do Karate]

My wife can't load the dishwasher for sh*t. It's like she doesn't even try to maximize the space, she just tosses it all in there in any willy-nilly any random way she can. Annoys the hell out of me that I have to take the time to completely reorganize it. I'd rather her just not "help."

 

The thing that completely drives me crazy is she insists on putting chop sticks into the silver wear compartment despite the fact that they slide though and hit the bottom of the dishwasher. So when you go to pull the drawer out it gets stuck on the chop stick, sometimes breaking it, and often times throwing the drawer off the track. I've almost lost the entire lower drawer of dishes onto the floor a few times as the drawer went off the track due to a chop stick.

 

And no, we don't use chop sticks that often, but we'll order Chinese every 3 or 4 weeks and without fail, no matter how many times I ask her not to do it, she puts the f$&%*ing chop sticks in the silver wear drawer! And yeah, it just happened a few moments ago, so its' fresh in my mind and this is the first place I thought of to vent.

This is my mother. She scatters like 5 things in the dishwasher and thinks it's ready to run. She freely admits that she is bad at loading the dishwasher.

[MDH]

 

Ha!! I just throw stuff in the dishwasher because I know my wife is just going to rearrange everything properly.

 

I also have to say that after reading this thread I'm one lucky guy.

 

I've asked my wife if she did it intentionally knowing I'd come along behind to fix it. She swears she doesn't...but I have my doubts.

[Augie]

This is my mother. She scatters like 5 things in the dishwasher and thinks it's ready to run. She freely admits that she is bad at loading the dishwasher.

My wife is great at loading the dishwasher, or packing the car, or anything else. So good, in fact, that I generally just put stuff behind her SUV before we leave on a trip. I get tired of loading it just fine, then having it all torn out and re-loaded to perfection. On a related note, I tried making the bed early in our marriage, then took a sabbatical for about a decade as I got sick of it not being good enough. We're older now and I've worn her down, she just appreciates any help I give even it it falls short of perfection. These OCD tendencies she freely admits to, and it works for her!

[DC Tom]

 

Ha!! I just throw stuff in the dishwasher because I know my wife is just going to rearrange everything properly.

 

I also have to say that after reading this thread I'm one lucky guy.

 

I don't even put dishes in the dishwasher. They go straight in to the sink.

 

Then every couple of months when my wife complains I don't put dishes in the dishwasher, I'll say "But I don't have to, they somehow, mysteriously, just make their way to the dishwasher all on their own."

[Chef Jim]

 

I've asked my wife if she did it intentionally knowing I'd come along behind to fix it. She swears she doesn't...but I have my doubts.

 

Take it from someone who knows........your doubts are well founded.

[plenzmd1]

 

Ha!! I just throw stuff in the dishwasher because I know my wife is just going to rearrange everything properly.

 

I also have to say that after reading this thread I'm one lucky guy.

Too bad she would be very active in the "husband pet peeves" thread

[Chef Jim]

Too bad she would be very active in the "husband pet peeves" thread

 

Nah. I told her about this thread and said she was perfect. She said I was perfect too.

[Augie]

Nah. I told her about this thread and said she was perfect. She said I was perfect too.

Liars unite!

[Just Jack]

Then every couple of months when my wife complains I don't put dishes in the dishwasher, I'll say "But I don't have to, they somehow, mysteriously, just make their way to the dishwasher all on their own."

Do you have the magic table also?

 

[Chef Jim]

Do you have the magic table also?

 

 

https://lmgtfy.com/?q=Amazon+magic+coffee+table

 

You all can thank me later!

[KD in CA]

 

Ha!! I just throw stuff in the dishwasher because I know my wife is just going to rearrange everything properly.

 

I also have to say that after reading this thread I'm one lucky guy.

 

It's funny how much of this **** seems to cut across the entire female species.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

My wife read the Game of Thrones books. I did not. We're currently watching the series on HBO. She feels the need to point out to me every single difference between the show and the fuggin books.

 

Bichesbecrazy

[Metal Man]

My wife keeps buying all that MacKenzie-Childs stuff. The checkered pattern. We have a chair that no one sits on, all the platters and serving bowls, picture frames, a wall clock, a coffee canister, a dog water/food bowl and a mat to go underneath. I'm only naming half the s$$t.

 

I don't care about the money, and I couldn't care less about the way my house is decorated. I just think it's getting to be a bit much. The checkers are everywhere.

 

Are you living in the Syracuse area? I'm suspicious that you and I might be married to the same woman.

 

My house is top to bottom with that stuff. It is pretty expensive but luckily she got most of at their big yearly barn sale or as wedding gifts.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

 

Are you living in the Syracuse area? I'm suspicious that you and I might be married to the same woman.

 

My house is top to bottom with that stuff. It is pretty expensive but luckily she got most of at their big yearly barn sale or as wedding gifts.

We live in Vermont now, but we spend a couple weeks every summer in my home town, Auburn.

 

She gets a lot of the stuff at the barn sale every year, but my Mother is also addicted and buys us MC stuff all the time. Again, WTF do I care about how the house is decorated? But the place has so much checker pattern going on, I'm about to open a gelato shop in the guest bedroom.

[Jauronimo]

We live in Vermont now, but we spend a couple weeks every summer in my home town, Auburn.

 

She gets a lot of the stuff at the barn sale every year, but my Mother is also addicted and buys us MC stuff all the time. Again, WTF do I care about how the house is decorated? But the place has so much checker pattern going on, I'm about to open a gelato shop in the guest bedroom.

Did you manage to finally evict the junkies who were squatting in there?

[Simon]

My wife keeps buying all that MacKenzie-Childs stuff. The checkered pattern. We have a chair that no one sits on, all the platters and serving bowls, picture frames, a wall clock, a coffee canister, a dog water/food bowl and a mat to go underneath...... The checkers are everywhere.

Sounds like a Tom Petty video; you should have Tom over

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Did you manage to finally evict the junkies who were squatting in there?

Shower boy has been dead for over a year now, and the pro snowboarder sold the house and moved out to Cali to work on an organic farm.

 

Now, our new neighbors are cross-fit instructors who lift weights in their front yard, and climb up and down ropes hanging from their tree. I can't decide which is worse...heroin addicts or cross-fit people.

Sounds like a Tom Petty video; you should have Tom over

Petty's wife is obsessed with MC stuff? Small world...

[DDD]

Oh ****. You're not my wife are you?

 

No, just highly OCD like her.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

 

No, just highly OCD like her.

Funny, I'm a clinical psychologist and I have diagnosed her with female according to DSM-V criteria.

[Buffalo Barbarian]

Funny, I'm a clinical psychologist and I have diagnosed her with female according to DSM-V criteria.

 

which is?

[zevo]

Leaving every light on in the house....irks the **** out of me

[Joe Miner]

 

which is?

Incurable

[DC Tom]

 

which is?

 

You learn in a few years, when you take health class in high school.

[Buffalo Barbarian]

Incurable

 

 

You learn in a few years, when you take health class in high school.

 

Then I will teach it to you when your ready.

[Just Jack]

When I'm being nice and texting the fiancé that I've landed, and she replies with question after question. Woman, can't you wait 30 minutes till I'm home?

[Gugny]

When I'm being nice and texting the fiancé that I've landed, and she replies with question after question. Woman, can't you wait 30 minutes till I'm home?

 

I'm with you on this one. Drives me insane.

[John from Riverside]

This is one for pretty much everyone in my family....

 

My schedule driving to work and coming home is pretty set (if someone wanted to assasinate me it would be pretty easy)

 

THey know I dont like to talk or text on my phone while im driving

 

STOP trying to ask to do things or ask questions during that time

 

P.L.E.A.S.E.

[Chef Jim]

This is one for pretty much everyone in my family....

 

My schedule driving to work and coming home is pretty set (if someone wanted to assasinate me it would be pretty easy)

 

THey know I dont like to talk or text on my phone while im driving

 

STOP trying to ask to do things or ask questions during that time

 

P.L.E.A.S.E.

Simple solution. Put your phone on auto DND during those times.

[iinii]

So now you are one piece shy on your twice as tall Jenga set up, right?

That has to be a blast!

[Guffalo]

Whenever we go somewhere, (Mall, Groceries, Home Depot) she will always insist that I lock the car because she leaves her pocketbook inside. I don't know why she brings it if she isn't planning on taking it into the store, I assume she just wants to let it get out of the house and go see the sights. But then as we get out of the car, I am trained to "LOCK THE DOORS", the problem is, after I pull into the space, I actually get out of the car and walk to the store, my lovely wife on the other hand, now chooses to linger in the car, checking her makeup, or saying goodbye to the radio, maybe checking for spare change in the seat cushions, God knows what she is doing, but the result is I cannot LOCK THE DOORS when she has the door open (some safety feature). I just don't get why it takes 3 minutes to exit a car. She knows we are going to leave the vehicle once we pull into the parking lot, maybe thats the point she can gather her stray cushion change, root through her abandoned pocketbook for that stale piece of gum, say goodbye to the radio, whatever she needs to do, just get going so we can get into the store and get out.

[plenzmd1]

When I'm being nice and texting the fiancé that I've landed, and she replies with question after question. Woman, can't you wait 30 minutes till I'm home?

Mine is a bit of a flip on that

 

My wife travels maybe 3 nights a month..so not a ton. But when she goes, she sits on the plane, gets bored, and starts texting "honey do's" like it is going out of style.

 

Also, she just cannot get herself to put the butter away in the butter compartment of the fridge. I am fussy about my butter, only buy brands that come in foil now as to avoid picking up off flavours from the fridge.......is it really that hard to move your arm 2 feet to the left and open up that little door?/

[shrader]

Every single time my wife asks me a question, she has already assigned an answer to that question in her mind. She will then follow up with that assumed answer even though it wasn't my actual response. It'll go something like this:

 

Wife: Did you stop at the store?

Me: No.

Wife: What did you buy?

Me: I said no.

 

The best is when my answer and the answer she heard sound completely different, something like:

 

Wife: What color was it?

Me: Orange

Wife: Purple?

Me: That doesn't sound anything like what I said

 

 

Her other big thing, and it happens at least once a day, is when her phone rings (usually her mother). She'll see who it is and say "I really don't want to talk to you right now". She then proceeds to answer the phone every single time. She's then frustrated and ranting about the conversation after it's over. I keep telling her she doesn't have to pick up every damn time but she completely blows off the suggestion.

Edited January 17, 2017 by shrader

[Bullpen]

Mrs. Bullpen is THE worst driver. No fore thought to where she is going or the route she is going to take to get anywhere. We'll be driving a restaurant less than three miles from our house and she'll ask, "do I turn here?" WE JUST CAME HERE LAST MONTH! DO YOU REMEMBER DRIVING ROUTES OR DO YOU JUST USE THE FORCE TO DRIVE?

 

Or she takes what I like to call "anti-terrorism paths somewhere" where she will take a completely different route somewhere than one she took two days ago. This is because she doesn't pay attention to where she is when she's driving or riding in a car. "How do we get to Mo's house, do we turn here?" "We've known Mo to live in this house for five years?!?!

 

Her braking and accelerating habits probably milk about 10K miles off ever car she owns. I swear every time, she hears a knock or ping in the car, she'll point it out to me and I'll ask, have you taken it in? The answer is always no.

[bbb]

Every single time my wife asks me a question, she has already assigned an answer to that question in her mind. She will then follow up with that assumed answer even though it wasn't my actual response. It'll go something like this:

 

Wife: Did you stop at the store?

Me: No.

Wife: What did you buy?

Me: I said no.

 

The best is when my answer and the answer she heard sound completely different, something like:

 

Wife: What color was it?

Me: Orange

Wife: Purple?

Me: That doesn't sound anything like what I said

 

Is she a member of the media?

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Mrs. Bullpen is THE worst driver. No fore thought to where she is going or the route she is going to take to get anywhere. We'll be driving a restaurant less than three miles from our house and she'll ask, "do I turn here?" WE JUST CAME HERE LAST MONTH! DO YOU REMEMBER DRIVING ROUTES OR DO YOU JUST USE THE FORCE TO DRIVE?

 

Or she takes what I like to call "anti-terrorism paths somewhere" where she will take a completely different route somewhere than one she took two days ago. This is because she doesn't pay attention to where she is when she's driving or riding in a car. "How do we get to Mo's house, do we turn here?" "We've known Mo to live in this house for five years?!?!

 

Her braking and accelerating habits probably milk about 10K miles off ever car she owns. I swear every time, she hears a knock or ping in the car, she'll point it out to me and I'll ask, have you taken it in? The answer is always no.

My wife is a great driver...as long as she doesn't have to go in reverse. She has no idea how to use her mirrors, and does not turn around to check her blind spots. In 2016 alone, she hit my Father's brand new truck twice, and my car once (all while backing out of the driveway). My Father didn't want to report it to his insurance, so I had to pay him a total of 1300 out of pocket. Her most recent crash into my car cost me 1000 in deductibles.

 

I'm amazed, frankly, that she was able to earn her driver's license.