Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 This thread is not about bashing women. We all (well I'm assuming most of us) love our wives dearly, and appreciate them very much. My wife is absolutely amazing. Loves me still despite me being an immature 17 year old trapped in a 38 year old's body. She is also the best Mother I could ever ask for to my 2 beautiful children. I am very happy and a lucky man. That said, my wife has certain "quirks" that drive me absolutely bonkers. Here's an example... Today we were all playing games in the play room. My daughter was playing with her dolls, giving them a spa treatment, and my son and I were playing Jenga. One of the "logs" from the Jenga game was missing, but it didn't affect the game. We were just fine. My wife's brain malfunctions when she learns about missing game pieces. I could see her eye twitch. It happens. When you have a 7 year old and a 3 year old...inevitable game pieces go missing. My wife couldn't handle it. She was so irritated about the missing Jenga piece that she spent 2 hours tearing apart the house looking for it. She then stormed up to the play room, having not found the piece, and scolded all of us for not being more careful with our belongings. We all just looked at each other, pretended to be sorry, and went back to playing. My wife stomps down the stairs, puts on her shoes and coat, and walks out the door. I hear her car backing out of the driveway. She comes back 20 minutes later with a new Jenga game. She just could not go on about her day knowing that there was an incomplete Jenga game in our home. That's just one example. I have plenty more. This is the place to share/vent about these things. I suppose girlfriend/fiancé stories belong here as well. Let's hear those stories.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WotAGuy Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 My fiancé cannot handle it when she talks to me and I, being already deeply engaged in important matters - like reading OTW - patronize her with "uh-huh" and "um-humm". She flips out. I don't get it. That's what guys do, amirite? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 So now you are one piece shy on your twice as tall Jenga set up, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 My wife spends about $100/month to get her hair done. That's bad enough. But what's worse is that EVERY TIME she comes home from one of these haircuts, she asks me to "clean up her neck," meaning to straighten out the hairline in the back with a trimmer. Every time I ask, "isn't this part of the $100 fee?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 10, 2016 Author Share Posted December 10, 2016 So now you are one piece shy on your twice as tall Jenga set up, right? I'm probably going to have to throw two pieces away without her noticing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 She buys perishables in bulk. "But it was on sale!" It doesn't matter when you throw 2/3 of it out after it spoils! She's also constantly buying water dishes for the cats. "But they'll enjoy playing with this one..." They already have thirty different water dishes, fountains, dispensers, etc. They don't need any more. They're not that thirsty. And when they ARE thirsty, the little furry terrorists just turn on the sink anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 10, 2016 Author Share Posted December 10, 2016 My wife spends about $100/month to get her hair done. That's bad enough. But what's worse is that EVERY TIME she comes home from one of these haircuts, she asks me to "clean up her neck," meaning to straighten out the hairline in the back with a trimmer. Every time I ask, "isn't this part of the $100 fee?" That's crazy! Tell her to stop at Sport Clips after her appointment. They give free edge-ups. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 She never breaks anything down when she puts it in the garbage. So, right after I put in a new bag, she fills it up to the top with like a milk carton and an empty Kleenex box. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 (edited) Babies my kids. 17 and 15 , they are young adults that can cook some eggs for christs sake Edited December 10, 2016 by plenzmd1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 10, 2016 Author Share Posted December 10, 2016 She never breaks anything down when she puts it in the garbage. So, right after I put in a new bag, she fills it up to the top with like a milk carton and an empty Kleenex box. Grrr...... So one of my responsibilities around the house is garbage and recyclables. I hang a "recyclables bag" from a hook at the top of the staircase leading down to the basement. Open the door, and boom...right there. Does my wife put them in the bag, you ask? No, she puts them on the counter LITERALLY two steps from the freaking basement door! This is cathartic 😏 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 NO problems with my wife. My wife told me to say that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 I drink my coffee black. My wife has milk and sugar. Every morning she stirs her coffee with a spoon, takes it out of the mug and sets it on the counter top. After a few days of this, I notice small beads of coagulated sugery varnish on the counter...some slightly raised or crystalized...so I wipe them off. But my wife is the greatest...I'm a lucky guy (blessed). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cripple Creek Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 (edited) Grrr...... So one of my responsibilities around the house is garbage and recyclables. I hang a "recyclables bag" from a hook at the top of the staircase leading down to the basement. Open the door, and boom...right there. Does my wife put them in the bag, you ask? No, she puts them on the counter LITERALLY two steps from the freaking basement door! This is cathartic Perhaps you should then hang the bag from the counter. Mine messes up a kitchen like there is no tomorrow. Edited December 10, 2016 by Cripple Creek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 She lets me hang out with you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 She lets me hang out with you guys. ...for a fee. Check your credit card bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 ...for a fee. Check your credit card bill. Now she's really pissing me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 (edited) My wife spends about $100/month to get her hair done. That's bad enough. But what's worse is that EVERY TIME she comes home from one of these haircuts, she asks me to "clean up her neck," meaning to straighten out the hairline in the back with a trimmer. Every time I ask, "isn't this part of the $100 fee?" My wife gets her hair 'blown out' before any event; no idea what that costs. The funny thing is she insists it's not a luxury but a burden of female maintenance. Edited December 11, 2016 by KD in CA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWATeam Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 My wife gets her hair 'blown out' before any event; no idea what that costs. The funny thing is she insists it's not a luxury but a burden of female maintenance. You're lucky if you don't know what it costs. Must be spending her own money then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbb Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Haha. Story of my life. I empty the small trash can in our bathroom and a minute later there is a Kleenex box taking up 90% of it. Why not just put it on the ground next to the can even? Why is it that every woman does this?!? Do they not see that there is now no way to use the trash can? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 my Wife is awesome so not much a story but she hates Football and Death Metal, to which if she liked would make our lives more fun to be together. Also she likes to redesign the house ALL THE TIME when I think it is just fine and then I get stuck with unnecessary work and that really drives me nuts especially when the games are on. My fiancé cannot handle it when she talks to me and I, being already deeply engaged in important matters - like reading OTW - patronize her with "uh-huh" and "um-humm". She flips out. I don't get it. That's what guys do, amirite? just comment on the last thing you she said and she will think you are paying but be careful she might throw some random stuff in there like I want your C#$&K to see if you are really paying attention Why is it that every woman does this?!? Do they not see that there is now no way to use the trash can? just mash it down in there and then you can fit in more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommonCents Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Simple!!! When she drives the speed limiting because we are heading to a place I want to go!!! Every time we head to my brothers for the game it always gets pushed closed to kick off!!!! The only reason your driving is because I'm about to get drunk!!! Now step on it!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 No matter how late we are running out the door to get somewhere, she always lags behind to make sure everything is neat and tidy; literally fluffing sofa cushions while I'm waiting in the running car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corp000085 Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 No matter how late we are running out the door to get somewhere, she always lags behind to make sure everything is neat and tidy; literally fluffing sofa cushions while I'm waiting in the running car. Similar situation... My wife's MO is to say "we're ready to go" and then I'll run in, put my shoes and coat on, and open the garage door to get to the car. 5 minutes later, she arrives and complains that I left the house too early... Um, you said you were ready. When you're ready, you're ready to leave NOW, not putz around for 5 minutes doing God knows what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Similar situation... My wife's MO is to say "we're ready to go" and then I'll run in, put my shoes and coat on, and open the garage door to get to the car. 5 minutes later, she arrives and complains that I left the house too early... Um, you said you were ready. When you're ready, you're ready to leave NOW, not putz around for 5 minutes doing God knows what. I just till she walks out the door then I get up and put my shoes on. She used to nag me the whole time about getting ready and I would say all I have to do is put my shoes on and she would grumble back to the bathroom putting make up and now I have her totally trained . I even have gotten her to listen to SOAD, Slipknot, Godsmack and the like but she just cant get into the heavy stuff but those are good enough, now about that football ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 I just till she walks out the door then I get up and put my shoes on. She used to nag me the whole time about getting ready and I would say all I have to do is put my shoes on and she would grumble back to the bathroom putting make up and now I have her totally trained . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Caveman Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 I'm just relieved to see this isn't a sex thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 My wife is amazing and a very high achiever in all regards. That's great, unless I'm with her. If we head out with 2 things on our to do list, she adds a dozen because "the dry cleaners is right up the road", "well, we need paper towels and Costco is right next to where we're going" and "I just need to pick up some files from the office". The unlisted agenda is always far bigger than what we set out to do. I guess that's how she's so good, and I'm me. You'd think I'd learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 I'm just relieved to see this isn't a sex thread. We're only on Page 2 .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flomoe Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 Breathe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 12, 2016 Author Share Posted December 12, 2016 Breathe? We're not talking about things that make a man want to punt kittens or demand a divorce; like when your wife burns your bagel. We're talking about petty annoyances. Like a pet peeves thread for our women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGTEleven Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 My wife is amazing and a very high achiever in all regards. That's great, unless I'm with her. If we head out with 2 things on our to do list, she adds a dozen because "the dry cleaners is right up the road", "well, we need paper towels and Costco is right next to where we're going" and "I just need to pick up some files from the office". The unlisted agenda is always far bigger than what we set out to do. I guess that's how she's so good, and I'm me. You'd think I'd learn. Oh my God. My wife (about whom I have no right to complain) also does this exact trick. She also adds an intra-store mode to the mix. We can be done grocery shopping and headed toward the checkout pushing a cart overflowing with groceries. After getting 65 things from our original list of 20, she'll stop and say we forgot toothpaste (or something else). I say ok and get in line with three people in front of me while she goes for the toothpaste. The next thing I know I am almost done checking out the full cart and she is still nowhere in sight. Sometimes she'll even get there at the absolute last second (I don't know how she does that) but with two tubes, wanting me to make the decision. Whichever one I pick (completely at random because I cannot even care if I try), she extols the virtues of the other one (but that is really a separate story which deserves it's own post). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve O Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 I'm just relieved to see this isn't a sex thread. I fully expected it to be, and am disappointed it isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 No matter how late we are running out the door to get somewhere, she always lags behind to make sure everything is neat and tidy; literally fluffing sofa cushions while I'm waiting in the running car. Ha...kids and i call what my wife does "the walk" ...no matter where we are or where we are leaving, she has to walk the area and search for forgotten things etc! Also, my wife is very courteous, and will never take the last piece of pizza, the last wing, the last beer etc. All fine and good,except when it come to things like cereal, grapes, cookies..etc. I used to look in the pantry, see a big box of Honey Nut cheerios, think all set!. Till the next morning you go to pour a bowl , and you get like 12 cheerios from the bottom of the bag. Learned my lesson after about 10 years of that, and now do a weekly cleanup of fridge and pantry of all the stuff that has about a 1/2 serving left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 12, 2016 Author Share Posted December 12, 2016 My wife keeps buying all that MacKenzie-Childs stuff. The checkered pattern. We have a chair that no one sits on, all the platters and serving bowls, picture frames, a wall clock, a coffee canister, a dog water/food bowl and a mat to go underneath. I'm only naming half the s$$t. I don't care about the money, and I couldn't care less about the way my house is decorated. I just think it's getting to be a bit much. The checkers are everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOBILLS78 Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 She's always begging me to send her nudes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebandit27 Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 (edited) Mrs. Bandit has one speed when it comes to getting ready to go anywhere--and that speed is sssssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. It doesn't matter (a) where we're going, (b) when we're leaving, or © how long she's known about the event in question, she simply has no sense of when to start getting ready, how long it will take her, what she wants to wear, what she wants to bring, etc. It's painful at times. Edited December 12, 2016 by thebandit27 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCBillsFan Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 I'm not married anymore but have been with my gf for over 3 years and living together for almost 3. She will be late for her own funeral. No matter what happens she's always late. I'll be sitting there telling her we need to leave in an hour. She'll wait until 5 minutes before we have to leave to start getting around. After 25 years of structure in the Marines it drives me batsh*t crazy! She's never been on time for anything, no matter how important. Mrs. Bandit has one speed when it comes to getting ready to go anywhere--and that speed is sssssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. It doesn't matter (a) where we're going, (b) when we're leaving, or © how long she's known about the event in question, she simply has no sense of when to start getting ready, how long it will take her, what she wants to wear, what she wants to bring, etc. It's painful at times. Haha! Amen! We have the exact same problem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebandit27 Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 I'm not married anymore but have been with my gf for over 3 years and living together for almost 3. She will be late for her own funeral. No matter what happens she's always late. I'll be sitting there telling her we need to leave in an hour. She'll wait until 5 minutes before we have to leave to start getting around. After 25 years of structure in the Marines it drives me batsh*t crazy! She's never been on time for anything, no matter how important. Haha! Amen! We have the exact same problem! If that's the worst thing you can say about a lady, then she's a keeper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDD Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 This thread is not about bashing women. We all (well I'm assuming most of us) love our wives dearly, and appreciate them very much. My wife is absolutely amazing. Loves me still despite me being an immature 17 year old trapped in a 38 year old's body. She is also the best Mother I could ever ask for to my 2 beautiful children. I am very happy and a lucky man. That said, my wife has certain "quirks" that drive me absolutely bonkers. Here's an example... Today we were all playing games in the play room. My daughter was playing with her dolls, giving them a spa treatment, and my son and I were playing Jenga. One of the "logs" from the Jenga game was missing, but it didn't affect the game. We were just fine. My wife's brain malfunctions when she learns about missing game pieces. I could see her eye twitch. It happens. When you have a 7 year old and a 3 year old...inevitable game pieces go missing. My wife couldn't handle it. She was so irritated about the missing Jenga piece that she spent 2 hours tearing apart the house looking for it. She then stormed up to the play room, having not found the piece, and scolded all of us for not being more careful with our belongings. We all just looked at each other, pretended to be sorry, and went back to playing. My wife stomps down the stairs, puts on her shoes and coat, and walks out the door. I hear her car backing out of the driveway. She comes back 20 minutes later with a new Jenga game. She just could not go on about her day knowing that there was an incomplete Jenga game in our home. That's just one example. I have plenty more. This is the place to share/vent about these things. I suppose girlfriend/fiancé stories belong here as well. Let's hear those stories.... Um, that's what I do when I find a piece of a game is missing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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