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A Quick Laugh to Get By


Foxx

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A Panda walks into a bar....

Orders a burger and beer from the waiter.

After finishing his meal the waiter asks if he enjoyed the burger.

The Panda stands up, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter and begins to walk out.

The bartender screams at him, hey why did you kill my waiter and just walk out.

Panda says, that is what I do, look it up.

Bartender Google's panda...sure enough it reads....

Panda " eats, shoots and leaves"!

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Can you stop this bus to let my friend *****?

 

i guess using 'Jack' and 'off' is verbotten even with a space in between

 

 

55 minutes ago, The Avenger said:

Let's eat grandma!

Let's eat, grandma!

Edited by The Poojer
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On 7/15/2020 at 7:20 AM, Niagara Bill said:

A jumper cable walks into a bar and orders a beer

Bartender says " ok, I will serve you but don't start anything"

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra......budda boom

 

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic atheist? 

 

He didn't believe in dog.

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13 hours ago, SlimShady'sSpaceForce said:

I was ROTF 

 

Omg ? ?

 

It has been widely speculated that this was the night that cemented Trump’s resolve to run for president. He was so angry over being embarrassed by President Obama in front of a room full of people laughing at his expense that he decided on the car ride home that he would get his revenge by getting himself elected POTUS.

 

 

Edited by ChevyVanMiller
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51 minutes ago, ChevyVanMiller said:

It has been widely speculated that this was the night that cemented Trump’s resolve to run for president. He was so angry over being embarrassed by President Obama in front of a room full of people laughing at his expense that he decided on the car ride home that he would get his revenge by getting himself elected POTUS.

 

 

 

[Sigh] Thanks, Obama. ?

 

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While golfing, a man accidentally overturned his golf cart.

 

A very attractive female golfer who lived in a villa on the course heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay?"

 

"I'm okay, thanks," he replied as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.

 

"Why don't you come up to my villa, rest for a while, have some drinks and I'll help you get the cart up later.”

 

He noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.

 

"That's mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

 

"Oh, come on now", she insisted. She was beautiful and very persuasive.

 

"Well, okay," he finally agreed, "However, I'm sure my wife won't like it."

 

After a couple of glasses of Scotch, he thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

 

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open.


"Stay for a while, she won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

 

 

 

 

"Still under the cart, I suppose."

 

 

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