A Quick Laugh to Get By

[Foxx 13,550]

a doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. ‘the material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago… red meat is awful. soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. high fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. however, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’

 

after several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘wedding cake.’

[Foxx 13,550]

[Foxx 13,550]

[dib 9]

Why do men die before their wives?

 

 

 

because they want to

[Foxx 13,550]

[PastaJoe 544]

[BringBackFergy 3,907]

[Joe in Winslow 13,881]

A midget walked into a bar.

 

All the bartender heard was "owwwwww!"

[Foxx 13,550]

[plenzmd1 3,990]

whats Irish and stays out all night?????

 

 

 

 

 

Patio Furniture

Edited April 7, 2019 by plenzmd1

[Chef Jim 4,227]

A dyslexic walks into a bra.....

[/dev/null 7,921]

A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, "hey we have a drink named after you!". 

 

The screwdriver replies, "You have a drink named Stanley?"

 

 

[Foxx 13,550]

[PastaJoe 544]

[LeviF91 1,241]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

 

A fly.  Highly unfortunate, but the name doesn't change.

[ChevyVanMiller 1,764]

What do you get when you cross LSD with the birth  control pill?

 

A trip without the kids.

Edited April 9, 2019 by ChevyVanMiller

[WhoTom 3,868]

[Foxx 13,550]

[Reed83HOF 6,485]

[Foxx 13,550]