I think that I just lost my colon

[TheCockSportif]

So I got into BBQ (smoking) a few years ago, and today I started a brisket (flat) at around 9am.  I just made this BBQ sauce with habanero and mango.

 

Finally whizzed it up in the blender, and yeah there was coughing earlier when the habanero hit the hot pan, but jeeeeez... I think that after I finished blending it and tasting it, that after coughing, that my colon just fell out in my boxer briefs.

 

The sauce is really good, btw.  Spicy and sweet.  But dang.  You need a colon for a proper lifestyle, right?

[K-9]

[Augie]

1 hour ago, Groin said:

So I got into BBQ (smoking) a few years ago, and today I started a brisket (flat) at around 9am.  I just made this BBQ sauce with habanero and mango.

 

Finally whizzed it up in the blender, and yeah there was coughing earlier when the habanero hit the hot pan, but jeeeeez... I think that after I finished blending it and tasting it, that after coughing, that my colon just fell out in my boxer briefs.

 

The sauce is really good, btw.  Spicy and sweet.  But dang.  You need a colon for a proper lifestyle, right?

 

If you’d be kind enough to share that recipe, I’m sure someone here would try it after that ringing endorsement! I mean, colons are a first world luxury, right? Maybe bring some to a tailgate. Let’s put the porta-potty lines to the test! 

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

Then use an after shave instead... 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Ridgewaycynic2013

[TheCockSportif]

2 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

If you’d be kind enough to share that recipe, I’m sure someone here would try it after that ringing endorsement! I mean, colons are a first world luxury, right? Maybe bring some to a tailgate. Let’s put the porta-potty lines to the test! 

HAHA!

 

The recipe is actually on point, but the habaneros were way, way worse than I thought.

 

So, without further ado...

 

habaneros (8 is a mistake, which was mine today.  use like 2-3, and seed them)

the "meat" of two ripe mangos

1 medium yellow onion

5 cloves garlic

1tsp (or to taste) smoked paprika

1tsp (or to taste) ground cumin

1tsp (or to taste) ground mustard

8 tbsp raw honey

6oz tomato paste

3/4c apple cider vinegar

1/2c water

salt, pepper

 

Once this all cooks down then blend.  Tighten your sphincter.  Call Dr Phil.  I don't care what you do, but my god, wear a mask and goggles.  We should have plenty of masks around at this point.

1 minute ago, Ridgewaycynic2013 said:

Then use an after shave instead... 

After shaving what?!

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

Just now, Groin said:

After shaving what?!

Sounds like no need to shave, or otherwise depilatory.  Sounds like any residual hair burned off. 😁

[TheCockSportif]

6 minutes ago, Ridgewaycynic2013 said:

Sounds like no need to shave, or otherwise depilatory.  Sounds like any residual hair burned off. 😁

I have lost the hair around my anus.  Thank goodness that I'm on laundry duty tonight so I can remove that asterisk from our presence.

[Augie]

12 minutes ago, Groin said:

HAHA!

 

The recipe is actually on point, but the habaneros were way, way worse than I thought.

 

So, without further ado...

 

habaneros (8 is a mistake, which was mine today.  use like 2-3, and seed them)

the "meat" of two ripe mangos

1 medium yellow onion

5 cloves garlic

1tsp (or to taste) smoked paprika

1tsp (or to taste) ground cumin

1tsp (or to taste) ground mustard

8 tbsp raw honey

6oz tomato paste

3/4c apple cider vinegar

1/2c water

salt, pepper

 

Once this all cooks down then blend.  Tighten your sphincter.  Call Dr Phil.  I don't care what you do, but my god, wear a mask and goggles.  We should have plenty of masks around at this point.

After shaving what?!

 

That actually sounds pretty good. I absolutely LOVE just about anything mango, and a little heat sounds good. I’ll be honest, I’ve never been bold enough to try anything with habernero. You did not change my mind! My colon and I are quite fond of each other.

 

Maybe I start with ONE, and see how that goes……

[TheCockSportif]

1 minute ago, Augie said:

 

That actually sounds pretty good. I absolutely LOVE just about anything mango, and a little heat sounds good. I’ll be honest, I’ve never been bold enough to try anything with habernero. You did not change my mind! My colon and I are quite fond of each other.

 

Maybe I start with ONE, and see how that goes……

So, we built this sick garden last spring.  It was hot early in Maine this past May, and things started growing quickly.  But our peppers weren't hot enough, and that included the jalapeños and habaneros.  I think that I overcompensated today.  Many friends locally will get a gift of this angry sauce about two weeks from now.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Groin

[Augie]

13 minutes ago, Groin said:

So, we built this sick garden last spring.  It was hot early in Maine this past May, and things started growing quickly.  But our peppers weren't hot enough, and that included the jalapeños and habaneros.  I think that I overcompensated today.  Many friends locally will get a gift of this angry sauce about two weeks from now.

 

Are they friends, or are they “friends”.  Sounds like a good holiday gift for a Patriots* fan. 

[TheCockSportif]

Just now, Augie said:

 

Are they friends, or are they “friends”.  Sounds like a good holiday gift for a Patriots* fan. 

So true, and as someone who lives in New England and who had to hear about the Pats CONSTANTLY, they're real friends who should also be lit up.  HAHA!

[Bad Things]

Ha!

I had a similar experience last year, when I grew some Trinidad Scorpion chilis in the garden.  I also tried to do a mango hot sauce with them, but all I remember was pain.  A lot of pain.

 

 

[muppy]

have you seen any chili that is kept behind lock and key and you need to sign a waiver to buy the stuff that you wont hold the proprietor liable for damages...here in seaport village there is just such a store (or used to be pre covid)

 

LOL dang I THINK it may be too hot for human consumption if you need to sign a medical waiver just sayin' lol

 

There is habaneros and then there are HABANEROs Lord have mercy!!!

 

m

 

[The Poojer]

I grew 7 different ultra hots this year.  Made a couple batches of hot sauce and a batch of chile sauce.  Now I have over a hundred peppers I dehydrated for future use.  You need to be careful with them, sometimes even a single pepper can completely overwhelm something, but damn I love cooking with them

[Buffalo716]

Sweet baby Ray's makes a mango habanero sauce if someone wanted to just pick it up

[muppy]

18 minutes ago, The Poojer said:

I grew 7 different ultra hots this year.  Made a couple batches of hot sauce and a batch of chile sauce.  Now I have over a hundred peppers I dehydrated for future use.  You need to be careful with them, sometimes even a single pepper can completely overwhelm something, but damn I love cooking with them

the REALLY good chili is so hot but tastes sooo good the tears be running down yer face and you just don't care. With freshly made warm tortilla chips I eat too much of that before dinner and frankly Im not too upset about that haha

 

m

[Marv's Neighbor]

6 hours ago, Augie said:

Any chance we can feed a batch to the ref's before tomorrow's game??

If you’d be kind enough to share that recipe, I’m sure someone here would try it after that ringing endorsement! I mean, colons are a first world luxury, right? Maybe bring some to a tailgate. Let’s put the porta-potty lines to the test! 

 

7 hours ago, Groin said:

So I got into BBQ (smoking) a few years ago, and today I started a brisket (flat) at around 9am.  I just made this BBQ sauce with habanero and mango.

 

Finally whizzed it up in the blender, and yeah there was coughing earlier when the habanero hit the hot pan, but jeeeeez... I think that after I finished blending it and tasting it, that after coughing, that my colon just fell out in my boxer briefs.

 

The sauce is really good, btw.  Spicy and sweet.  But dang.  You need a colon for a proper lifestyle, right?

 

[Draconator]

6 hours ago, Groin said:

HAHA!

 

The recipe is actually on point, but the habaneros were way, way worse than I thought.

 

So, without further ado...

 

habaneros (8 is a mistake, which was mine today.  use like 2-3, and seed them)

the "meat" of two ripe mangos

1 medium yellow onion

5 cloves garlic

1tsp (or to taste) smoked paprika

1tsp (or to taste) ground cumin

1tsp (or to taste) ground mustard

8 tbsp raw honey

6oz tomato paste

3/4c apple cider vinegar

1/2c water

salt, pepper

 

Once this all cooks down then blend.  Tighten your sphincter.  Call Dr Phil.  I don't care what you do, but my god, wear a mask and goggles.  We should have plenty of masks around at this point.

 

I may go with the 8 habaneros. The hot sauce I use is 6 million Scoville heat. I might find the original recipe mighty tasty. 

[Wacka]

If you could manage the heat before, you are getting old. Same with the hair loss. 35-40 years ago I could take the suicidal wings no problem. Now I can barely stand the med ones.  Tried the sriracha sauce once at Subway a couple years ago. Only once. Was  blasting off the commode the next day.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Wacka

[teef]

my colon was punched a while back by ghost pepper wings.  the taste was fantastic, but the outcome was not fantastic.  i'm not doing it anymore.

[Gugny]

1 hour ago, teef said:

my colon was punched a while back by ghost pepper wings.  the taste was fantastic, but the outcome was not fantastic.  i'm not doing it anymore.

 

Yeah, I've been on missions before during which I punished myself by eating wings that were too hot.  Those days are over.  I like heat and probably more than most people.  I don't mind a tear in my eye whilst enjoying a nice, hot wing.  But I've had wings that just plain hurt to eat and those days are over for me.

[teef]

19 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

Yeah, I've been on missions before during which I punished myself by eating wings that were too hot.  Those days are over.  I like heat and probably more than most people.  I don't mind a tear in my eye whilst enjoying a nice, hot wing.  But I've had wings that just plain hurt to eat and those days are over for me.

i think those days are done for me too.  i'm sure i'll try it maybe once more and regret it, but who needs it.  @Bobby Hookswas telling me about a one chip challenge where a single chip is sold, and apparently it will destroy the gut.  i'm wildly curious about it, but again...who needs it.  

[Gugny]

Just now, teef said:

i think those days are done for me too.  i'm sure i'll try it maybe once more and regret it, but who needs it.  @Bobby Hookswas telling me about a one chip challenge where a single chip is sold, and apparently it will destroy the gut.  i'm wildly curious about it, but again...who needs it.  

 

I want to do the chip challenge.

 

I flirted with the idea of buying one and putting it in a bowl of regular chips just to see the reaction of the person who unknowingly grabbed it.  I discussed doing it at the TBDAHOT in the shoutbox and decided not to do it, as someone could potentially die and I could be charged with manslaughter.

 

But goddamn ... that would be funny.

 

[Gisele]

31 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

Yeah, I've been on missions before during which I punished myself by eating wings that were too hot.  Those days are over.  I like heat and probably more than most people.  I don't mind a tear in my eye whilst enjoying a nice, hot wing.  But I've had wings that just plain hurt to eat and those days are over for me.

I only want to experience the heat once.  Don't want the foot stomping reminder the next morning.

[Hapless Bills Fan]

17 hours ago, Groin said:

So, we built this sick garden last spring.  It was hot early in Maine this past May, and things started growing quickly.  But our peppers weren't hot enough, and that included the jalapeños and habaneros.  I think that I overcompensated today.  Many friends locally will get a gift of this angry sauce about two weeks from now.

 

I actually had the same problem.  Not growing habaneros, but my anchos and my jalapenos were downright mild, especially the latter I allowed to ripen.

 

But this fall, the final picking before frost - all of a sudden those babies had some zip to them.

[Gugny]

Just now, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

I actually had the same problem.  Not growing habaneros, but my anchos and my jalapenos were downright mild, especially the latter I allowed to ripen.

 

But this fall, the final picking before frost - all of a sudden those babies had some zip to them.

 

I used three tiny habaneros that @Beerballgrew in a chili for the TBDAHOT.  I made one hot batch and one mild batch.  I have never had such hot habaneros in my life.  I brought the chili, but when I tasted it, I "took it off the menu," immediately.  It was too hot and would have made unsuspecting tasters miserable.  Seriously as hot as any jolokia (ghost pepper) I've ever had.

[teef]

21 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

I want to do the chip challenge.

 

I flirted with the idea of buying one and putting it in a bowl of regular chips just to see the reaction of the person who unknowingly grabbed it.  I discussed doing it at the TBDAHOT in the shoutbox and decided not to do it, as someone could potentially die and I could be charged with manslaughter.

 

But goddamn ... that would be funny.

 

this may be one of the times i go against traditional wisdom and actually try it.  bobby gets the ghost pepper wings when we go out, and can handle them no problem.  he thought the chip was way worse.

[Hapless Bills Fan]

4 minutes ago, Gugny said:

I used three tiny habaneros that @Beerballgrew in a chili for the TBDAHOT.  I made one hot batch and one mild batch.  I have never had such hot habaneros in my life.  I brought the chili, but when I tasted it, I "took it off the menu," immediately.  It was too hot and would have made unsuspecting tasters miserable.  Seriously as hot as any jolokia (ghost pepper) I've ever had.

 

Do you wear gloves when handling hot peppers?  I don't generally, and at times I regret it.

 

I've formed the practice of tasting a tiny sliver of pepper and a seed and judging how much to add accordingly.  I don't know any other way to do it.  I've bought jalapenos at the grocery store, too, that were meek and mild and I could add the whole package, but the next package I would add part of one pepper.

 

But why not post an appropriate warning and let folks decide for themselves if it's too hot or not?  Sounds like depriving the spice-o-philes to protect the others.

[Gugny]

Just now, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

Do you wear gloves when handling hot peppers?  I don't generally, and at times I regret it.

 

I've formed the practice of tasting a tiny sliver of pepper and a seed and judging how much to add accordingly.  I don't know any other way to do it.  I've bought jalapenos at the grocery store, too, that were meek and mild and I could add the whole package, but the next package I would add part of one pepper.

 

But why not post an appropriate warning and let folks decide for themselves if it's too hot or not?  Sounds like depriving the spice-o-philes to protect the others.

 

I absolutely wear gloves!  Even with jalapenos.

 

This chili was inedible and I'm not exaggerating.  I LOVE heat and even I couldn't handle it.  It was crazy.

 

The good news was that the mild chili turned out just fine and there was a TON of food, so the absence of the fire chili meant nothing.

[TheCockSportif]

31 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

I want to do the chip challenge.

 

I flirted with the idea of buying one and putting it in a bowl of regular chips just to see the reaction of the person who unknowingly grabbed it.  I discussed doing it at the TBDAHOT in the shoutbox and decided not to do it, as someone could potentially die and I could be charged with manslaughter.

 

But goddamn ... that would be funny.

 

I read this story once -- I think I was around 10 or 11 -- about Teddy "the Rough Rider" Roosevelt visiting someone's home and eating meat pies.  Only one of the pies was loaded with cayenne pepper, and if you ate it you had to crawl under the table and either sing or chant.  It was long ago, and I'll be damned if I can't find the story again today, but guess who ended up with the cayenne pie?  The Rough Rider did; you betcha.

 

Maybe I should invite POTUS (any POTUS, really) to our house and do a chip challenge.  Hopefully Gitmo wouldn't be a part of my future.

4 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

I absolutely wear gloves!  Even with jalapenos.

 

This chili was inedible and I'm not exaggerating.  I LOVE heat and even I couldn't handle it.  It was crazy.

 

The good news was that the mild chili turned out just fine and there was a TON of food, so the absence of the fire chili meant nothing.

As an Indian-American, some friends trash talked me about how they could eat spicier food than I.  So we had a "heats of strength" competition, and I think that they regretted their choice of having one.  Granted, it was over 15 years ago, and my tolerance has gone down slightly (see also: colon, losing), but I pretty much won that competition hands down.

18 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

I actually had the same problem.  Not growing habaneros, but my anchos and my jalapenos were downright mild, especially the latter I allowed to ripen.

 

But this fall, the final picking before frost - all of a sudden those babies had some zip to them.

Yeah, our poblanos, even for a mildish pepper, really sucked, and were kinda bland overall.  Our green peppers turned out well.  The habaneros and jalapenos, to your point, got a little bit spicier at end of season.  But still, better luck next year?  I bet that we have to order something online as the farmers market stuff around here doesn't cut it.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Groin

[Jauronimo]

32 minutes ago, teef said:

i think those days are done for me too.  i'm sure i'll try it maybe once more and regret it, but who needs it.  @Bobby Hookswas telling me about a one chip challenge where a single chip is sold, and apparently it will destroy the gut.  i'm wildly curious about it, but again...who needs it.  

I did it recently. 

 

I didn't think it was the killer that people on YouTube make it out to be.  I did it without drinking any liquids for an hour as the challenge reads.  The real pain is done about 10 minutes in.  After an hour I had a sip of beer and thats when things got ugly.  I could feel the heat start to build in my stomach so I ate some dairy, I think some yogurt, to settle things down.  The burning turned into noticeable pain and cramping until I puked up scorpion pepper oil.  I'm pretty sure that was the "gut slash" sensation they describe in the booklet.  I had been drinking since 10AM that day because of college football so that might not have helped me take on the challenge.

 

On the heat scale, I'd put it around Dave's Insanity perhaps?  It was not the hottest thing in my house.  Torchbearer's Garlic Reaper or Last Dab Apollo hold that distinction.

 

 

@Gugny the One Chip would stand out noticeably in a bowl of Doritos.  You'd have to mix a few kinds of chips together and break the one chip into smaller pieces.  

[WhoTom]

We have friends who used to host a chili party during the holidays. One year, the invitations included the phrase "Buen chile se quema dos veces" (Good chili burns twice.)

 

[Augie]

2 hours ago, teef said:

my colon was punched a while back by ghost pepper wings.  the taste was fantastic, but the outcome was not fantastic.  i'm not doing it anymore.

 

I’ve told this here before, but I laughed when I read this, so I’ll repeat it.

 

I was sitting at a pizza joint and a guy walks in and sits down next to me. He ordered a beer and 6 wings, hot, with blue cheese (of course). He’s warned that medium are hot, and hot is REALLY HOT. He says “that’s OK, that’s what beer is for”. When they come out I notice it’s not a sauce, but some kind of a rub. He’s working on his first wing and I ask how they are. “Great!”  Before he starts his second wing he says “it builds on you”, then clears his throat. He orders his second beer, then blows his nose. His eyes are watering as he’s finishing his second wing. Another nose blow, on to wing #3 and “another beer please”.  😂

 

He was too proud to stop, and I think he had four beers to wash down his six wings. I had a hard time not laughing TOO loudly and teasing him, but the guy was hurting and I tried to show some mercy.

 

THIS is the reason I don’t do “I Dare You” food. 

 

 

.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Augie

[Beerball]

great, another thread about punctuation and grammer. 🙄

[Augie]

9 minutes ago, WhoTom said:

We have friends who used to host a chili party during the holidays. One year, the invitations included the phrase "Buen chile se quema dos veces" (Good chili burns twice.)

 

 

We had Indian food for dinner prepared by a British guy while living in Florida. With his funny little accent he advised us to “pop a roll of toilet tissue in the freezer tonight, you’ll want it in the morning!” 

[teef]

30 minutes ago, Jauronimo said:

I did it recently. 

 

I didn't think it was the killer that people on YouTube make it out to be.  I did it without drinking any liquids for an hour as the challenge reads.  The real pain is done about 10 minutes in.  After an hour I had a sip of beer and thats when things got ugly.  I could feel the heat start to build in my stomach so I ate some dairy, I think some yogurt, to settle things down.  The burning turned into noticeable pain and cramping until I puked up scorpion pepper oil.  I'm pretty sure that was the "gut slash" sensation they describe in the booklet.  I had been drinking since 10AM that day because of college football so that might not have helped me take on the challenge.

 

On the heat scale, I'd put it around Dave's Insanity perhaps?  It was not the hottest thing in my house.  Torchbearer's Garlic Reaper or Last Dab Apollo hold that distinction.

 

 

@Gugny the One Chip would stand out noticeably in a bowl of Doritos.  You'd have to mix a few kinds of chips together and break the one chip into smaller pieces.  

it's funny...this is almost exactly how it was described to me.  not so much the heat, but how it destroys you after.  i wasn't aware about not drinking for an hour after though.

10 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

I’ve told this here before, but I laughed when I read this, so I’ll repeat it.

 

I was sitting at a pizza joint and a guy walks in and sits down next to me. He ordered a beer and 6 wings, hot, with blue cheese (of course). He’s warned that medium are hot, and hot is REALLY HOT. He says “that’s OK, that’s what beer is for”. When they come out I notice it’s not a sauce, but some kind of a rub. He’s working on his first wing and I ask how they are. “Great!”  Before he starts his second wing he says “it builds on you”, then clears his throat. He orders his second beer, then blows his nose. His eyes are watering as he’s finishing his second wing. Another nose blow, on to wing #3 and “another beer please”.  😂

 

He was too proud to stop, and I think he had four beers to wash down his six wings. I had a hard time not laughing TOO loudly and teasing him, but the guy was hurting and I tried to show some mercy.

 

THIS is the reason I don’t do “I Dare You” food. 

 

 

.

once the ghost pepper wings caused me to have to stand up and walk around, i was done.  i was able to get through 7 out of 10.  i'm sure i could have finished the rest, but older guy wisdom started to kick in, and i bailed.  

[Jauronimo]

Just now, teef said:

it's funny...this is almost exactly how it was described to me.  not so much the heat, but how it destroys you after.  i wasn't aware about not drinking for an hour after though.

The chip comes with a little booklet which has different levels of achievement based on no water/milk for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc., culminating at 1 hour.  Its stupid since if you make it through 15 minutes you're free and clear so whats the difference between 20 and 60 minutes?

[Gugny]

13 minutes ago, Beerball said:

great, another thread about punctuation and grammer. 🙄

 

 

 

[Augie]

5 minutes ago, teef said:

 

once the ghost pepper wings caused me to have to stand up and walk around, i was done.  i was able to get through 7 out of 10.  i'm sure i could have finished the rest, but older guy wisdom started to kick in, and i bailed.  

 

Sounds like middle aged wisdom. True older guy wisdom doesn’t take a whiff of wings like that! 

 

I’ll never forget going to NYC with the family a couple months after 9/11. The older son (about 11 at the time) had touched a jalapeño at dinner, then later that night rubbed his eye. Oh LORDY! What an night THAT was!  The very next night the younger son had a stomach virus so I stayed with him at the hotel where he vomited for hours while the wife took pepper finger boy to see the Rockette’s Holiday show.  Ahh, good family times……

 

[BuffaloBill]

56 minutes ago, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

Do you wear gloves when handling hot peppers?  I don't generally, and at times I regret it.

 

 

 

A friend’s wife tells a story that the hubby was cutting hot peppers earlier in the evening, sans gloves. Later that evening she decided to get frisky. He put his hands in her nether region and she ended up screaming & crying in a bathtub of cold water.  She claims she has not initiated the dirty deed since