YoloinOhio Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 (edited) Here we go Brownies, here we go! Edited August 22, 2018 by YoloinOhio 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne Cubed Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Look forward to these every year! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 2 minutes ago, Wayne Cubed said: Look forward to these every year! I expect the Bills version to be very entertaining. So much material - from Russ Brandon to Richie to Josh Allen to Shady... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corta765 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 haha these are my fav football piece to read pre season starting Just now, YoloinOhio said: I expect the Bills version to be very entertaining. So much material - from Russ Brandon to Richie to Josh Allen to Shady... My favorite thing I ever read is someone compared a Bills tailgate to the battle of carthage lol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 This made me laugh out loud. 2 9 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne Cubed Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 3 minutes ago, YoloinOhio said: I expect the Bills version to be very entertaining. So much material - from Russ Brandon to Richie to Josh Allen to Shady... That Browns one is good(the Todd Haley gif ?) but yea the Bills have soooooo much material. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fr. Jerk Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 The Browns are always great for the lulz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanbillsfan2206 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 The fan comments are the best: My god we are the worst. Browns fans are low rent Bills fans: all the drunkenness and sloppiness without any of the cheeky, table crashing fun. Whereas Bills fans head to their frozen stadium and up the ante on fun debauchery, Browns fans just use it as an excuse to lean into our angry alcoholism. We will rival anyone in drunkenness, but be dead last in fun had. 3 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianthomas Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I came here wanting/expecting the Patriots but the Browns work too. The Jets would qualify as well. 1st reason why the Jets suck is that they're not even in New York. If you can't even get your teams name right, then yeah, you suck! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubes Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 "...future failed Buffalo Bill AJ McCarron..." ? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 9 minutes ago, brianthomas said: I came here wanting/expecting the Patriots but the Browns work too. The Jets would qualify as well. 1st reason why the Jets suck is that they're not even in New York. If you can't even get your teams name right, then yeah, you suck! Jets will be up soon. They go in draft order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 best Browns description was Drew Carey's early years where he talked about Brian Sipe as his hero, then imitated Sipe by hitting the mic stand hard, making it fall noisily to the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv's Neighbor Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 1 hour ago, corta765 said: haha these are my fav football piece to read pre season starting My favorite thing I ever read is someone compared a Bills tailgate to the battle of carthage lol Which one? The Romans vs the Carthaginians or the first battle of the US Civil War. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsfaninSB Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Laughed so hard when I saw the TV image of someone’s Mom texting F$&@ when they drafted Mayfield. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Domdab99 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 good stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacklabel Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, YoloinOhio said: Jets will be up soon. They go in draft order. Jets should be a good read. Darnold isn't even in camp yet. Hasn't signed his contract. Evidently because there's language in it that would nix guaranteed money in the event of a fine, which is kind of anal on the Jets part. The language in most rookie deals states that guaranteed money can be removed/altered in the case of a suspension, not a fine. So I can totally see why Darnold is holding out. He could incur a fine on a fluke play and then zap, there go his guarantees. That's kinda crap. Edited July 30, 2018 by blacklabel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 (edited) 11 minutes ago, blacklabel said: Jets should be a good read. Darnold isn't even in camp yet. Hasn't signed his contract. Evidently because there's language in it that would nix guaranteed money in the event of a fine, which is kind of anal on the Jets part. The language in most rookie deals states that guaranteed money can be removed/altered in the case of a suspension, not a fine. So I can totally see why Darnold is holding out. He could incur a fine on a fluke play and then zap, there go his guarantees. That's kinda crap. Darnold is there today... he signed. Roquon Smith only guy left Edited July 30, 2018 by Buffalo716 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwksilver Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 These are always great. The comment sections might even be funnier. Eric: My god we are the worst. Browns fans are low rent Bills fans: all the drunkenness and sloppiness without any of the cheeky, table crashing fun. Whereas Bills fans head to their frozen stadium and up the ante on fun debauchery, Browns fans just use it as an excuse to lean into our angry alcoholism. We will rival anyone in drunkenness, but be dead last in fun had. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 5 hours ago, Rubes said: "...future failed Buffalo Bill AJ McCarron..." ? That's good stuff, right there. It's good to laugh at yourself---and at others. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy10 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 “Yes, it’s America’s favorite dick hoister, Baker Mayfield.” Gold, Jerry! Gold! 6 hours ago, corta765 said: haha these are my fav football piece to read pre season starting My favorite thing I ever read is someone compared a Bills tailgate to the battle of carthage lol My favorite description of our tailgate is from the 2014 edition: “I can barely tell the difference between a Bills tailgate and a 1970s Manchester coal-plant union protest.” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick the Greek Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Ah I used to think this crap was funny. Now it’s just old. Maybe I’m old. Who knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 6 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: This made me laugh out loud. Umm, you wouldn’t happen to...you know...have her number? I’m just asking for a friend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 2 minutes ago, Augie said: Umm, you wouldn’t happen to...you know...have her number? I’m just asking for a friend. She is swallowing my hotdog augie... don’t you even think about it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 20 minutes ago, Augie said: Umm, you wouldn’t happen to...you know...have her number? I’m just asking for a friend. Yeah that’s Jenny. Her number is 716-867-5309. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 4 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said: Yeah that’s Jenny. Her number is 716-867-5309. That # is going to get plenty of calls lmao i just pranked it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 6 minutes ago, Royale with Cheese said: Yeah that’s Jenny. Her number is 716-867-5309. That number looks familiar. I may have seen that in a highway restroom? I like to, you know, meet with local folks when I travel. Get the local flavor, if you will.... 30 minutes ago, Buffalo716 said: She is swallowing my hotdog augie... don’t you even think about it ? So, you’re taking her to Ted’s on your first date? Then what? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 21 minutes ago, Augie said: That number looks familiar. I may have seen that in a highway restroom? I like to, you know, meet with local folks when I travel. Get the local flavor, if you will.... So, you’re taking her to Ted’s on your first date? Then what? If she can swallow the footlong then I will show her off at Dave and Busters 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Buffalo716 said: If she can swallow the footlong then I will show her off at Dave and Busters Sounds like fun, but you may have priority issues. To be fair, it’s admirable that you want to entertain others, rather than putting your own “entertainment” first. Edited July 31, 2018 by Augie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 3 minutes ago, Augie said: Sounds like fun, but you may have priority issues. Are you saying I should see if she will swallow my wienerschnitzel first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 2 minutes ago, Buffalo716 said: Are you saying I should see if she will swallow my wienerschnitzel first? That might be a nice way to break the ice on a first date. I’m just guessing on this, but I bet she’d get a second date. You know, since you have the food thing in common. It’s always nice to have some things in common as a relationship moves forward. I’m afraid we have lost our way..... The Bills will NOT suck! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 1 minute ago, Augie said: That might be a nice way to break the ice on a first date. I’m just guessing on this, but I bet she’d get a second date. You know, since you have the food thing in common. It’s always nice to have some things in common as a relationship moves forward. DC Tom likes woman holding fish... i like woman who can swallow footlongs... we all have kinks I guess ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Process Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 8 hours ago, Royale with Cheese said: Yeah that’s Jenny. Her number is 716-867-5309. And if prefer her elderly mother...716-634-5789......"if you need a little lovin'". I seriously doubt anyone remembers that reference on this board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacklabel Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 16 hours ago, Buffalo716 said: Darnold is there today... he signed. Roquon Smith only guy left Dang. Stupid Jets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heitz Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 (edited) "Elon Musk sucks but if he put this team on a rocket and fired them into the f'ing sun I’d model a religion after him." ? Edited July 31, 2018 by Heitz 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 9 hours ago, The Process said: And if prefer her elderly mother...716-634-5789......"if you need a little lovin'". I seriously doubt anyone remembers that reference on this board. Nice. Try on Pennsylvania 6-5000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted July 31, 2018 Author Share Posted July 31, 2018 Charlie: I got shitcanned recently and included in the email my humorless prick of a boss wrote about why I should be fired was an anecdote about how I basically shouted “ARE YOU !@#$ING KIDDING ME?!” in the middle of our large, crowded floor when I heard Eli was getting benched for Geno Smith. I stand by that reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridgewaycynic2013 Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 1 hour ago, YoloinOhio said: Charlie: I got shitcanned recently and included in the email my humorless prick of a boss wrote about why I should be fired was an anecdote about how I basically shouted “ARE YOU !@#$ING KIDDING ME?!” in the middle of our large, crowded floor when I heard Eli was getting benched for Geno Smith. I stand by that reaction. "That's gold, Jerry! GOLD!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 1, 2018 Author Share Posted August 1, 2018 I can’t breathe ? I know I tend to lay the hyperbole on thick in these stupid previews, but I am being 100 percent earnest when I tell you that I wish Luck wouldn’t come back, at least not for this team. Andrew Luck is a thoughtful, interesting man, but his shoulder is made of wet saltines and his organization is a meth hole. The line is still ass. The running backs are a bowl of pet store goldfish. And to make matter worse, Jim Irsay sat up from his Tunisian opium rug last season to hint that all of Luck’s problems were mental: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 23 hours ago, YoloinOhio said: Charlie: I got shitcanned recently and included in the email my humorless prick of a boss wrote about why I should be fired was an anecdote about how I basically shouted “ARE YOU !@#$ING KIDDING ME?!” in the middle of our large, crowded floor when I heard Eli was getting benched for Geno Smith. I stand by that reaction. as one who interviews, that would be a good story when I ask if you've ever been fired from a real job (who hasn't that has a brain??) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsredneck1 Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 On 7/30/2018 at 1:36 PM, row_33 said: best Browns description was Drew Carey's early years where he talked about Brian Sipe as his hero, then imitated Sipe by hitting the mic stand hard, making it fall noisily to the ground. do you remember brian sipes?...or the drew carey show? the first was thier best qb and the 2nd was one of the best entertainer/comedians ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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