FLFan Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 http://www.torontosun.com/2012/12/11/bills-marcell-dareus-overcoming-latest-in-series-of-tragedies Have not seen this posted. Good article on the Toronto Sun today discussing the struggles Dareus has had this year and his turnaround the past few games. I think it puts a little perspective on his performance this year vs. last and why those who are calling him a "bust" may be a bit pre-mature in their judgement of this young man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UConn James Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cash Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Very good piece. I continue to be a huge fan of Dareus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smuvtalker Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. I understand the point you make, he still has a job to do. However, we can't say how we would react to such a tragic loss unless it happens to us, which I wouldn't wish upon anyone. He lost his kid brother. Everyone deals with tragedy differently, and let's not forget this is a 23 year old kid we're talking about. I think it speaks volumes to his character that he was able to "shake it off", so to speak, and get back into the game. I think he's dealt with it rather well for what it's worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HamSandwhich Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. Everyone is not T'eo, everyone handles it in their own way. Obviously it took Derius a little longer, but he's come around lately. Get off his back would ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. and again, he put the weight on months before the loss, which i think has been the biggest issue this year. it also sounds like after a couple weeks dealing with this hes making big positive changes to the issues that surrounded him even BEFORE the death. switching where he goes, who he is with, and not taking time for granted. Edited December 12, 2012 by NoSaint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooderson Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. You can't just tell a person how to grieve. Different people handle things differently. Football may be his job, but it's still just that, a job. Having a brother pass away unexpectedly has to be extremely difficult to cope with. Also, look at Geno Atkins. 3rd year in the league and he's looking like a legitimate DPOY candidate. Dareus is still very young, give him a little time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fan_in_tx Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. Really?? You use this analogy? "But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box." Let's keep this in perspective and not compare the mindset of our soldiers who's job is to readlly give their life in a moments notice to an NFL Football player who's job is to play a game. I can easily understand if MD questioned the importance of what he is doing and maybe lost a bit of the taste for football after all he has been through regardless of the money he makes. And if he was in the military, knowing that people are really counting on him for life changing events then he may have delt with his grief in a manner that would satisfy your expectations. For me.. I'm glad he is back and playing, but I feel your comparision above is a little much for someone who's job is to play a game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.Biscuit97 Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. Who the hell are you to tell someone how to grieve? You had little brother murdered? I hate people who try and tell other people how to live their lives. What a bunch of BS your post is. You can't just tell a person how to grieve. Different people handle things differently. Football may be his job, but it's still just that, a job. Having a brother pass away unexpectedly has to be extremely difficult to cope with. Also, look at Geno Atkins. 3rd year in the league and he's looking like a legitimate DPOY candidate. Dareus is still very young, give him a little time. You don't get it. He's a football player and gets paid millions. He needs to be a robot and perform no matter what because people pay money to see him. When he doesn't, I will insult him through a message board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maury Ballstein Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. :thumbdown: are you a psychiatrist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanC883 Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Very nice to see a piece written about how MD was and is dealing with his most recent tragedy He seems to have had more than his share of it. Hopefully he is getting professional counseling in addition to figuring it out himself. His play has gotten better in the past few weeks for sure, and it appears that his mindset has as well. Hope both continue their upward trend! Go MD!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryPinC Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. Are you kidding me? Did you read the entire article? Dad dead at 6. Grandmother who helped raise him, dead @13. Father figure high school coach dead in car crash @ 18. Mom wheelchair bound and dead of congestive heart failure @20. Younger brother Simeon who he helped mentor and was close to, dead this year. Dareus has been afraid to leave his house other than to go play football. And you blithely think he should be able to wall all this off and pour everything into his job? It's one thing when a close relative dies, it's another when your life is full of those scenarios. Dareus is pretty much a hero in my book being able to do so well for himself in spite of how he grew up. And it explains his early season performances. Ever wonder why the Buffalo News never seems to be able to get a story like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.Biscuit97 Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Are you kidding me? Did you read the entire article? Dad dead at 6. Grandmother who helped raise him, dead @13. Father figure high school coach dead in car crash @ 18. Mom wheelchair bound and dead of congestive heart failure @20. Younger brother Simeon who he helped mentor and was close to, dead this year. Dareus has been afraid to leave his house other than to go play football. And you blithely think he should be able to wall all this off and pour everything into his job? It's one thing when a close relative dies, it's another when your life is full of those scenarios. Dareus is pretty much a hero in my book being able to do so well for himself in spite of how he grew up. And it explains his early season performances. Ever wonder why the Buffalo News never seems to be able to get a story like this? Actually, I remember a Buffalo News article about Dareus right after he got drafted talking about his hard life. When the News had Allen Wilson, they were very good. Mark Gaughan is also very good. Also, let's not come down to hard on the OP. Life at UConn can be very tough. Sometimes your parents won't give you the keys to the Range for a weekend. tough times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maury Ballstein Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Actually, I remember a Buffalo News article about Dareus right after he got drafted talking about his hard life. When the News had Allen Wilson, they were very good. Mark Gaughan is also very good. Also, let's not come down to hard on the OP. Life at UConn can be very tough. Sometimes your parents won't give you the keys to the Range for a weekend. tough times. zingaaaaaaa! the freaking range! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKA Bigdog Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) I doubt anyone called Dareus a bust. I expressed my displeasure that the bills earned another bad break with a player who sucked the first half of the year. I said the same about mario millions. I don't think either guy stinks its just that this half assed steaming pile of fail can't afford anymore players who take games off if this sorry ass team ever expects to play respectable football. 99.9% of all the criticism of the bills is frustration over 13 years of the biggest display of ineptitude by any team in the nfl besides the expansion bucs teams. At least they had an excuse. Edited December 12, 2012 by AKA Bigdog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoutbox Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. You, sir, are a leading candidate for the 2012 Two Bills Drive Internet Tough Guy Award. Good luck, dude! Edited December 12, 2012 by Marc Miller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdand12 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I just read today and i had know idea how he was taking all this. No one knows what he has gone through but him. Football and the team might be the best thing for him. I saw him smiling last week. Anything but sympathy for the young man, is shortsighted. I am fan of his as a human being and then of course a big ole DT. Go get 'em Marcell Dareus . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.Biscuit97 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I just read today and i had know idea how he was taking all this. No one knows what he has gone through but him. Football and the team might be the best thing for him. I saw him smiling last week. Anything but sympathy for the young man, is shortsighted. I am fan of his as a human being and then of course a big ole DT. Go get 'em Marcell Dareus . Well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. Whoops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MURTR Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. .................(crickets) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsBytheBay Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. im not going to leave it at crickets. You're no better than ESPN. Heard a story, than built an assumption based on your preconceived notions of dealing with tragedy. Than put the kid down for dealing with it in his own way. Bravo. I doubt anyone called Dareus a bust. I expressed my displeasure that the bills earned another bad break with a player who sucked the first half of the year. I said the same about mario millions. I don't think either guy stinks its just that this half assed steaming pile of fail can't afford anymore players who take games off if this sorry ass team ever expects to play respectable football. 99.9% of all the criticism of the bills is frustration over 13 years of the biggest display of ineptitude by any team in the nfl besides the expansion bucs teams. At least they had an excuse. i wish I took names. Many people called him a bust. It was like they forgot his brother just was murdered. Or apparently he didn't deal with it well enough for some folks. Not cancer. Not an accident. MURDER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob's House Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I predicted in the midst of the Mario hate that he would get it together & be a cornerstone of our D for years to come. I predict (admittedly a little less confidently) that Dareus will do the same. Sophomore slumps are fairly common, he had some outside issues to help explain it, & even at that he showed flashes. He'll be who we expected next year. And enough w/ piling on UConn James. I don't share his sentiment, but he just said what he thought on a message board. To see this reaction you'd have thought he walked up to Dareus & told him to stop being a kitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsBytheBay Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Rob, your right. But it still irks me. Fans like to hear the feel good story's. even when all the facts don't add up. But a kid who deals with genuine tragedy, comes to work every day, but is distracted is called a bust. He needs to "solider up" or some crap like that. Most have dealt with death in some way. I would say fewer have had a family member murdered. Or died in a car accident, after dying from cancer, discovered in the fatal accident. In a town that doesn't exist. After nobody met you.... Was that to much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 UCONN......your gonna have a tough time living this one down....although I am sure the mante teo thing took you by suprise as much as everyone else..... Bottom line....if you dont walk in a persons shoes you just dont know my bills brethren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 poor baby Dareus. When my mom[who I was very close to] passed it was 3 days off then back to work. And I was expected to produce as normal. But I am not a NFL player making millions who can take a year off and get paid just a working stiff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi Bills fan Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Jeez... Edited January 17, 2013 by Kiwi Bills fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfan89 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Been saying Dareus personal issues may have played a factor along with playing in a new defense, I expect big things from Dareus he tempered a lot of concerns with his improved play Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmur66 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I haven't read the arcticle yet but I'm tellin ya right now. Dareus will be pro bowl caliber this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealityCheck Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 poor baby Dareus. When my mom[who I was very close to] passed it was 3 days off then back to work. And I was expected to produce as normal. But I am not a NFL player making millions who can take a year off and get paid just a working stiff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 poor baby Dareus. When my mom[who I was very close to] passed it was 3 days off then back to work. And I was expected to produce as normal. But I am not a NFL player making millions who can take a year off and get paid just a working stiff. I am in no way making light of your mother's passing. Loss of anyone you are close to is never easy. The point with Dareus is that at such a young age he has dealt with multiple losses. Clearly, his play was impacted. So should the Bills have benched him or cut him this year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 poor baby Dareus. When my mom[who I was very close to] passed it was 3 days off then back to work. And I was expected to produce as normal. But I am not a NFL player making millions who can take a year off and get paid just a working stiff. Was your mom murdered? When she was in her 20s? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maury Ballstein Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. in hindsight............we now have a nomination to join Mario for Skelton here............play like Teo after his pretend girlfriend died? this is gold jerrry..........GOLD!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Wow. A little perspective appears necessary for a couple posters within this thread. Football ... it's a game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Rob, your right. But it still irks me. Fans like to hear the feel good story's. even when all the facts don't add up. .... Or died in a car accident, after dying from cancer, discovered in the fatal accident. In a town that doesn't exist. After nobody met you.... Was that to much? Are you asking readers to be accountable for fact checking the news presented in virtually all national print, online and TV outlets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt in KC Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 The poor guy sounds like he has PTSD / depression. I hope he's seeing a professional to help him work through it... (preferably someone who lives close). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattsox Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Very good piece. I continue to be a huge fan of Dareus. Hope for the Best. We need his Killer Instinct to come out next season and tare it up!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Hope for the Best. We need his Killer Instinct to come out next season and tare it up!!! Probably better to rephrase the above if you hope to improve Dareus' mental state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Are you kidding me? Did you read the entire article? Dad dead at 6. Grandmother who helped raise him, dead @13. Father figure high school coach dead in car crash @ 18. Mom wheelchair bound and dead of congestive heart failure @20. Younger brother Simeon who he helped mentor and was close to, dead this year. Dareus has been afraid to leave his house other than to go play football. And you blithely think he should be able to wall all this off and pour everything into his job? It's one thing when a close relative dies, it's another when your life is full of those scenarios. Dareus is pretty much a hero in my book being able to do so well for himself in spite of how he grew up. And it explains his early season performances. Ever wonder why the Buffalo News never seems to be able to get a story like this? Wow, that's pretty rough. Losing 3 parents before the age of 21 is horrible enough, but losing a little brother is worse. In a perfect world, you shouldn't outlive your kids or your younger siblings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoutbox Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 The poor guy sounds like he has PTSD / depression. I hope he's seeing a professional to help him work through it... (preferably someone who lives close). Or at least no professionals from the state of Connecticut with the name of James or Alaska with the name of Jim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malazan Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo. I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies. But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box. T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily. I don't think killing off your fake girlfriend is responding in a healthy manner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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