outsidethebox Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I lost my wife on valentines day 2014. Ever since then my life has been on a downword spiral. I've been used, abused and treated like crap. How do I plan for a future that seems so bleak? I feel so tired. Has any one ever beaten depression? I hope to some day but I don't know how. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke79 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Jeez man. Sorry to hear about your wife and your struggles. Just know there is help out there if you need to talk to someone. I know life isn't always easy and sometimes it seems like there are a lot more ups than downs, but the bad times will not last forever. Try to find at least one thing that makes you happy or smile every day and focus on that. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeginnersMind Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 So sorry. Definitely seek professional help. It helps. And Help others. Any way you can. So many people worse off than you could really use a hand. If you make food for one homeless person tomorrow, you will have made their life better and only you could do that. And so many other people would appreciate that too. Just keep making others lives better. However you can as long as youre here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo716 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Sorry to hear that man. I've never dealt with the loss of a wife but I have dealt with depression from head injuries. Time really does heal wounds and so does prayer my friend... like the person above me said... help others... it really can do so much good for your soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aristocrat Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Find purpose on a daily basis. Simple things that give you structure. Maybe a pet? Fish to a dog that relies on you for life. Support groups work as well. I got depressed after my dad killed himself and the groups work. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBillsFanSince1973 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I lost my wife on valentines day 2014. Ever since then my life has been on a downword spiral. I've been used, abused and treated like crap. How do I plan for a future that seems so bleak? I feel so tired. Has any one ever beaten depression? I hope to some day but I don't know how. sorry about your wife. the answer is yes, it can be beaten. but it should not be taken lightly. no drugs or alcohol, not saying you drink or take drugs but it enhances the symptoms. try to be around those who care for you, friends/family. most importantly would be some counseling, it helps. lastly, time. it takes time and you have to do everything in your power to keep your chin up and remain as positive as you can. good luck to you. reaching out is the first step. So sorry. Definitely seek professional help. It helps. And Help others. Any way you can. So many people worse off than you could really use a hand. If you make food for one homeless person tomorrow, you will have made their life better and only you could do that. And so many other people would appreciate that too. Just keep making others lives better. However you can as long as youre here. doing good for others is always a good thing. reminded me of a video I had seen not too long ago. pretty cool https://www.facebook.com/Juliusmagic/videos/1530834283660718/?hc_ref=ARS8U10MD_W2-aKwtoC8u-a7Uki0OeLl6FT4-7_1W4DoS0pesiVzpOHcVj-qVa_YDNc&pnref=story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsPride12 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Keep fighting brother. Although different circumstances I had been battling pretty severe depression for a few years and it is TOUGH. No way to sugarcoat it but everyday is a battle to get through but you never know when your luck and life can turn around. For the first time in years I am feeling really good about my life so I guess the point I am trying to make is things can turn around no matter how dark they may seem right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 (edited) I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my wife, but I know she would want me to carry on and be well, as I'm sure yours would want for you! Many employers have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that can provide help in coping with a wide range of situations. I've used it in the past, and it can be very helpful in finding free groups and individual therapy. I'm also a very big advocate of exercise to manage my well being, both physical and emotional. It really helps a lot! Oh, and YES, I know plenty of people who have beaten depression! Edited October 18, 2017 by Augie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Don't let yourself feel hopeless Westie. You can p.m. me if you'd like, I know that you have before and I think you even have my number if you ever need to talk. Beating depression isn't about beating depression it's about finding the most of every opportunity you take. At least for me. You're going to find a different answer for everybody that you ask. the best thing you can do is find yourself in a cause, approaching new task, do something that will fills your life because I know that you've got a lot of talents. Volunteer, work for Habitat for Humanity, go dance for the old ladies at the nursing home, go play bingo with orphans. And even if you don't want to do all that, it's understandable. Some days are harder than others. It's the fall of the Year, there are holidays coming and joy for everybody can be found... Even Tom. if you ever need to get away, and if you ever need to do anything come on down to Carolina. Because I know what depression is like. But not everyone's depression is like another, so just realized that tomorrow you have a new opportunity and even if all you do is watch TV or go to work find a purpose for doing so. And if you can, and you find energy to go to the gym as I told you before. If you can get the energy go out to a coffee house where there's a local singer-songwriter playing and listen, that's all they want and it's so easy for you to give. There are things you can do even if every day they're not something you want to do Just know, I'd swipe right on you every single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hey Westie. Its been about three years now as I recall (my Dad was sick when your wife was also). Youre a solid guy and Im hoping your kids are there for you as well. Pretty sure they are. So tough. Again very sorry for your loss. A spouse is a best friend. Were all here for you and you can message us anytime. Want to meet up at a game some time? Would really like to sit and have a beer (or two) with you. Keep going forward pal but keep those memories with you...thats the best part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I don't have an answer dude, but maybe someone does, someone who really understands your grief and sadness. I hope you seek them out. Standing invite to join us for a tailgate and game, trivial I know, but I/we would welcome getting to know you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrags Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 (edited) Westside, Keep on keepin on brother. I've been there. Not to your extent. I can't even imagine honestly. But I've been depressed before. There is no end all cute to it in my opinion. You can't just go talk to someone and automatically feel better. They can give you drugs to help but I personally don't believe in that because I feel it's fake. When I was depressed I could never see that I was so bad. I don't think I actually was that bad. It's all inside. You can only truly beat it when you get passed it yourself. It is easier said than done but you really have to work to get over it. The best thing I can say is take other advice that I saw. Make yourself busy. Start new hobbies. Find yourself and what makes you happy. Always be moving and give yourself less time to think about how depressed you think you are. And always try and look at the good side and funny side of things. I say that talking to someone won't be a true fix, but friends are always there to be leaned on. If it ever gets bad you have to use them as a crutch. A true friend will help you get your mind off it and keep you busy. If you ever need to talk or anything brother, don't hesitate to PM me. Life's a garden.... dig it Edited October 18, 2017 by mrags Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 If you haven't already, like Beginner'sMind said, seek professional help. Therapy, medication, and support groups are the way to go. Also as others have suggested, find someone to occupy your time so you don't dwell on things that bring you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I lost my wife on valentines day 2014. Ever since then my life has been on a downword spiral. I've been used, abused and treated like crap. How do I plan for a future that seems so bleak? I feel so tired. Has any one ever beaten depression? I hope to some day but I don't know how. Yes, I beat depression every day, going on 17 years now. I wish I could say there was an easy way...there's not. It's hard, difficult work. Like Doc said...therapy, medication, support groups. Volunteer work isn't a bad idea, either...gives you purpose (my aunt, after my uncle died from ALS, volunteered at the hospice that took care of my uncle.) But again...it's not that easy. What most people don't understand about depression is that it's not just "very, very sad." It's a deeply selfish, introverted state of mind that's a complex interaction between cognitive, emotional, and physical aspects, and is truly crippling. You can't just "snap out of it." You need to see a counselor...in your case, a psychiatrist (who can prescribe medication, and knows to monitor you while starting the medication) who specializes in grief counseling. And don't forget: you're not broken. You have an illness. Like any illness, it can be cured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Westie, You know you've always been one of my favorites on this board. You've gotten some stellar advice from some wonderful people in this thread. Follow it. Believe me when I say real friendships are formed as a result of coming here. Take one, or more, of us up on getting together and shooting the schit over a beer, water, pizza, wings .. whatever. I've had some down times, including as we speak. I keep my eye on the prize. My son. And I also know I've got friends and family who care and who love me. I don't talk to too many about the serious stuff, but when I do, it feels better. You've got a lot of people - just right here - who genuinely care. Reach out. Talk. If you can, meet up. In my experience with this community of pricks, I always come away smiling. Be well, my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Westie, You know you've always been one of my favorites on this board. You've gotten some stellar advice from some wonderful people in this thread. Follow it. Believe me when I say real friendships are formed as a result of coming here. Take one, or more, of us up on getting together and shooting the schit over a beer, water, pizza, wings .. whatever. I've had some down times, including as we speak. I keep my eye on the prize. My son. And I also know I've got friends and family who care and who love me. I don't talk to too many about the serious stuff, but when I do, it feels better. You've got a lot of people - just right here - who genuinely care. Reach out. Talk. If you can, meet up. In my experience with this community of pricks, I always come away smiling. Be well, my friend. I honestly question if my son would be alive today if he didn't live for HIS son. This is VERY real stuff. They are both doing fantastic. Let that power work for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackOrton Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 (edited) I'd like to echo everyone in here. Sometimes talking to people, even about something trivial, can make a huge difference. And I'd really like to emphasize the direction to seek out a professional about this. I know there's a stigma attached to it but that's a bunch of nonsense. Millions of Americans suffer from depression, and its no different than any other disease. We have therapy for it, we have medications for it, we have counseling for it. And we can beat it. Please please please reach out to a professional and set up an appointment. And be hopeful. PM me if you need to talk westie. You're one of the good ones, bud. Edited October 18, 2017 by jmc12290 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deranged Rhino Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I can't offer anything more in terms of advice than what's already been said, but keep on fighting. Terribly sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Where can we meet for lunch on Saturday? Wife and I will be on the rd between 9-10 on Saturday morning. Pm me or Call I think you may have my number. If not pm me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinceThe70s Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 You reached out to this board and it responded with compassion and advice and I hope that helps. All I can add is one more voice of compassion. I wish you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts