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How do you feel as a parent about your child playing football?


Royale with Cheese

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Good topic Royale.  A few thoughts.

 

1)  We're all shaped by our personal experiences.  But I think its important to be able to take a big picture view of things.  How likely are bad outcomes?  As tragic as Damar's injury is, its extraordinarily rare.  Much more common are concussions, broken bones, and soft tissue injuries.  A child died at one of my sons lacrosse games; brain aneurysm.  And my neighbors daughter ended up in a ped ICU for 2+ weeks playing soccer.  She was a goalie, dove to cover up a loose ball, and got kicked in the head.

 

2)  Exactly what is the likelihood a high school football player develops CTE?  Hard to know, since CTE is usually diagnosed postmortem.  But all available data indicates that college and NFL player are at far more risk of CTE than a kid who stops football after high school.  Its cumulative brain trauma thats important.  The C in CTE is "chronic".   Think of it this way.  There are over 1 million high school football players in the US.  If they are all at risk for CTE, that would be roughly 35 million males in the US between ages 50-85.  So our nursing homes would be filled with male patients with CTE-induced dementia, right?  In fact, women are about 2X more likely than males to develop dementia.

 

3)  Life is not risk free.  All decisions we make have a risk-benefit ratio.  So whats the benefit of playing football?

-teamwork

-discipline

-training-

-camaraderie

-staying out of trouble

 

Now sure, many other after school activities have the same benefits.  But, both from personal experience and my kids experience, football is king at many of these.

 

I encouraged my son to play high school football.  He played hockey and lacrosse until high school.  Many of his high school teammates remain his best friends today.  And although he went to a diverse high school, our neighborhood was largely white.  Most of his black friends were from the football team.  Kids who ended up attending his wedding, and he attending theirs.

 

In the end, its a personal decision.  My opinion, learn the facts, learn what is really known about high school athletes and injuries (high school sport with most injuries is......cheerleading), and support your kids.

 

 

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My son has played the last three years

 

has one concussion from hockey - well ice skating

 

after last night as a coach and former player in school I’m not sure how I feel.

 

its a freak accident but head injuries and such are not anymore. 

 

These kids are so much more faster and stronger and it’s just so wild to me 

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Both my sons started playing tackle football at age 6. They're 16 & 14 now, I coached both thru 8th grade.

 

My younger son is a HS QB now. No way he'd stop playing, but I do feel a bit more concern after last night. He'll be a sophomore next year & might be the varsity starter. After the Damar situation, I'm starting to hope that waits until Jr year.

 

My older son's freshman football season got covid- postponed to the Spring & would conflict with baseball, which is his primary sport, so he retired from football. Neither of us felt any relief, he misses football.

 

Both sons never had any injuries until 8th grade. Older son had a hamstring avulsion tear & missed half the 8th grade season. Younger son had a stress fracture in his foot, missed half the 8th grade season.

 

For me, the Damar injury definitely puts into perspective what the worst case scenarios of playing the game are, but it shouldn't detract from the other 99% of good things that come from it.

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It's up to him, honestly. If he decides he wants to play, I'll support him but make sure he understands the risks.

 

Then, I'll pay as much money as possible on quality equipment and the best helmet in the world.

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I think the best parents arm children with facts and treat them as smaller adults. If they require some additional guidance so be it. I do not think the negatives of high school football outweigh the positives to the extent parents should treat football like going to Cancun. An overwhelming % of high school players learn invaluable lessons from football. We do not have the ability to quantify the positives and then compare it to CTE risks or something along the lines of plane crash odds. These risks also shift based on socio economic factors (I would think). If we are being logical a kid in the inner city benefits even more than kids in the suburbs (structure/stay out of trouble).  Still, for some parents,  any increased risk is enough to say no and that's ok as well. This is an emotional question. What is the balancing act of the reward for the addition of X (whatever the benefits are) vs the increased rate of risk of playing a collision based sport .  

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I’ll let my kids choose what sports they’re interested in, and I wouldn’t stop them, but might have some slight reservations. My greatest concern is Neanderthal coaches at the lower level. Guys who have no respect for safety, and don’t protect the safety of their players. McDermott is a class act and fine human being, but not every player at every level has such a great mentor and leader. 

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Had a son that played from junior all American football all the way through varsity and high school all the way to getting a scholarship offer as a linebacker at San Diego State
 

In a passing camp prior to a senior season, he tore his ACL landing wrong, coming down from catching a pass goodbye scholarship
 

A helicopter parenting through all of that never really gave a thought that he could ever really injure himself on the field until he actually did he rehab. The ACL went on and play junior college. And move to Oregon and played semi pro football.

 

I held my breath every weekend until the day he hung up his cleats injury man he wouldn’t be able to take care of himself work wise and he had a young daughter

 

It’s interesting whenever I go back and look at it. I never gave a thought to him ever getting hurt in high school. He was like super human until it happened and then after he got hurt, I didn’t want him to play anymore but young men make their own decisions and he didn’t ask my permission.

Edited by John from Riverside
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My son played hockey from age 6 through high school, and played football in high school. You train them on how to protect themselves in collisions and just concentrate on the positives of team play.

 

When I was coaching him and his U18 hockey team the opposing goalie got his throat slashed like Clint Malarchuk. Fortunately it didn’t hit an artery, he was alert until the paramedics arrived, and recovered. Nobody wanted to finish the game after seeing that, but we were back playing the next week.

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I'm glad I don't.  I loved playing high school football, and I was Tasker-esqe in that I was smaller but absolutely crushed people.  In other words, it was all hard contact and I'm lucky I made it out without any injuries at all, nonetheless bad ones.  My son (20) showed no interest in football.  My daughter (15) likely would want to, but there's no WNFL or such, so I don't have to worry.  That, and she's petite, like one of the smallest for her age group, so aside from kicker I can't see her playing it anyway.  That being said, she is smol but fierce and I could see her destroying someone that looked like they were going to return one of her kicks for a score.

 

Still, I do have to wonder about this.  I don't have to face it, but other parents do.  Is there going to be a reduction of kids in football, trickling up to the point where the pool of prospective NFL players will suffer?

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I let them do 7 on 7 flag for now, if they decide they love it then it’s a conversation to be had. 
 

right now it’s basketball for one and lacrosse for the other. 
 

all sports carry risks btw.

 

soccer hockey and lacrosse have concussions and sudden cardiac arrest as well, as does baseball. 
 

i suppose playing madden on the coach is safer but brings its own other problems 

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I have 2 boys who are 20 & 18.   They have played tackle football since they were in middle school and the sport has helped make them into the determined, disciplined young men they have become.   They have loved football over any other sport since they were in elementary school.  We have done all we can to mitigate that risk.  We purchased their own helmets over the years to ensure they had the best protection available.   I have coached every level from youth to varsity and have taught heads up tackling and worked to endure we are adhering to concussion protocols and watch for subtle signs.   To say I don’t have concerns, I would be lying.  I pray for their safety before every game.   my youngest son is going through the recruiting process right now and determining if and where he would like to play in college.   I will support him with what he decides but there is no way the anxiety will decrease.  
 

Last night was a gut punch because that is every parents worst nightmare coming to life.   I feel for his parents and can’t imagine what they are going through.   

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My kids won’t play (or at least I will try my best to steer them in another direction). Not because of the Hamlin incident though. I’m more worried about concussions and head injuries.

 

I’m hoping they are more into soccer or baseball. I know every youth sport has injuries, but football seems to really mess people up.

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I don’t think a child is capable of fully understanding the long term risks associated with CTE from repeated head trauma.

 

We know is the brain is still developing through those highschool and college years. I realize it’s going to be an unpopular opinion, but I think eventually common sense prevails and high school tackle football becomes a thing of the past, atleast in some areas.  To continue subjecting minors to repeated head trauma with the information we have about brain injury and it’s lasting effects, and knowing their brains aren’t fully developed seems irresponsible to me.  It likely will become a state by state issue with some states banning it, and others with long standing traditions of highschool football putting tradition ahead of common sense and the long term safety of their children.

It’s our job to set them up for the best future possible, and putting them at increased risk of developing dementia seems very counter intuitive to that long term goal. Call it over protective but there is simply no fate worse than that of suffering from dementia, and I can’t sign off willingly increasing my kids chances of one day being damned to that existence because football...  I don’t judge anybody for having a different opinion, I love the game, but hate the brutality.  

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