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Does A Bear S**t In The Woods?


ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

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Now that I have your attention, what are your favorite rhetorical responses to questions that have an obvious yes or no answer?  Here are a few for starters:

 

For "yes:"

 

1.  Does a bear s**t in the woods?

2.  Is the Pope Catholic?

3.  Does a one legged duck swim in a circle? [my favorite, even though the real answer to that question is probably no]

 

For "no:"

 

1.  Does a chicken have lips?

 

Personally, I sometimes take the Yogi Berra approach and mix and match just to see people's reactions, for example:

 

Does the Pope s**t in the woods? or Are bears Catholic?

 

Expand my repetoire - - whaddaya got?

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Skiing late spring at Stratton Mountain many years ago and my friend stops at trails edge to relieve himself (what's spring skiing without an extended liquid lunch?) and he calls out "Does a bear sh!t in the woods?" - and then answers: "Nope, they do it right on the trail!"

Edited by SinceThe70s
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33 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said:

 

Steve Martin?

 

Yes? 

 

Oh, I’m sorry! A bartender at a place I have lunch maybe three times a month once told me I look like Steve Martin. That made me feel old, but I’m sure Steve Martin would say “at least I’m not ugly!”  😂 

 

 

.

Edited by Augie
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24 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

Yes? 

 

Oh, I’m sorry! A bartender at a place I have lunch maybe three times a month once told me I look like Steve Martin. That made me feel old, but I’m sure Steve Martin would say “at least I’m not ugly!”  😂 

 

 

.

 

..and the mental picture of @Augie starts to take a more realist shape! 

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1 hour ago, Augie said:

 

I am George Clooney, only handsome. 

 

I mean, maybe if one removes their corrective lenses? 

 

You were (and still are to me) Connie Augustin - a great guy I worked with early career - always respected his opinion. His claim to fame was fishing after hours Friday and leaving the blackfish he caught in the department fridge for us all to enjoy when we came in on Monday. Epic albeit not @Augieish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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On 2/27/2023 at 9:50 AM, PromoTheRobot said:

A favorite of mine an old friend used to say to describe indecision: "He didn't know whether to s##t or go bowling."

Or the classic line from ex-Penguins announcer Mike Lange: "He doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch."

 

 

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On 3/3/2023 at 11:42 AM, Irv said:

Does sh*t stink?

 

1 hour ago, DaBillsFanSince1973 said:

*farts "ducks are flying low"  "barking spiders" "there goes a mouse on a motorcycle"

"What crawled up your arse and died?"

 

 

2 hours ago, Nextmanup said:

Or the classic line from ex-Penguins announcer Mike Lange: "He doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch."

 

 

Mike Robitaille:

"He's on the roof looking for his jock."

 

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