If Someone Was Attempting to Break into Your House What is the First Thing You Would Grab?

[LeviF]

14 minutes ago, TBBills said:

Rope, handcuffs, and my cell phone to call some friends of mine that would love to have some fun.

 

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

1 minute ago, LeviF said:

 

Is that Belichick? 🤔

[Marv's Neighbor]

17 hours ago, Augie said:

I’m afraid my wasp and bear spray are not in my night stand. Apparently I have failed to properly prepare.  🤷‍♂️

 

 

 

 

.

Yeah, the vibrator probably wouldn't be much of a deterrent.

[Augie]

16 minutes ago, Marv's Neighbor said:

Yeah, the vibrator probably wouldn't be much of a deterrent.

 

It might even be an incentive!  🤷‍♂️

 

Fight crime, hide the vibrators! 

 

HEY! That might catch on! What would you think of that as a bumper sticker? 

 

.

Edited February 10, 2022 by Augie

[Johnny Hammersticks]

20 gauge Mossberg pump shotgun loaded with #6 bird shot.

[WotAGuy]

7 hours ago, LeviF said:

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.

 

Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" I shout as I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.

 

Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot.

 

Draw my pistol and fire at the second man. Miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nail the neighbor's dog instead.

 

I have to resort to my cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. "Tally ho, lads!" The grapeshot shreds two men in the blast. The sound and extra shrapnel set off every car alarm in the neighborhood.

 

Fix bayonet and charge the final terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting for the police to arrive as triangle-shaped wounds are difficult to stitch up.

 

Just as the founding fathers intended.

One of the funniest posts ever. 

[Gugny]

1 hour ago, TBBills said:

Rope, handcuffs, and my cell phone to call some friends of mine that would love to have some fun.

 

Is your real name R Kelly?

[RaoulDuke79]

15 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

20 gauge Mossberg pump shotgun loaded with #6 bird shot.

 

 

[AlCowlingsTaxiService]

Wife dials 911 and I grab the Remington 870 at my bedside. 

19 hours ago, Process said:

I can't imagine finding someone trying to break into my home and grabbing wasp spray. Sounds like a good way to get yourself killed. 

I’ve read that it’s quite effective actually 

[T&C]

48 minutes ago, AlCowlingsTaxiService said:

Wife dials 911 and I grab the Remington 870 at my bedside. 

I’ve read that it’s quite effective actually 

It is. But almost any aerosol will stun/thwart someone in your house, car, open air places, etc. Even hair spray, fabreeze, cleaners, etc. 

 

I really started this thread to show that there are inexpensive things out there that could possibly save your life. If you don't live in a hot climate a cheap can of ant spray in your vehicle works well in a close encounter. Awhile back I was using ant spray to take out some bull ants that were trying to take up residence in one of my oak tree's. The wind suddenly changed and I got a face full of it... and inhaled a bit of it. My throat was messed up for 3-4 days afterwards. Glad I had instantly shut my eyes, have no idea what kind of damage that would have done.

[Punching Bag]

11 hours ago, BuffaloBill said:

Am I allowed to say, you live in an odd household? I would hate to have the mods after me  

 

Yes it is.  I bought my wife a table saw as an anniversary gift and she is the one who uses it.

[Bill from NYC]

A telephone so I could call a social worker.

[sherpa]

When that happened to me I called in an airstrike.

Some collateral damage, but it solved the problem.

The perps never made it trial, so that was good.

 

[Chef Jim]

20 hours ago, Not at the table Karlos said:

Lol not in Buffalo. I was on the phone with a friend in depew when I found someone breaking into one of my apartments near Grant and Amherst in black rock. I hung up with him and called the cops who were right around the corner on hertel. Couple mins later my friend shows up. Couple hours later the cops showed up who didn't believe it was my house. Fun night. 

A couple hours?  How cute. When I lived in Oakland I was at work when I got a call from my security system company. They said there was an alarm.  One of my motion detectors went off.  They asked if I wanted them to send the police.  I assumed it was the cat but told them sure. Cops showed up 14 hours later while we were sound asleep.  Didn’t even knock and  do a safety check.  They peeked into our window and heard one say “nothing looks disheveled” and they left.  We could have been dead in the back bedroom. 🙄

 

As far as the question posed here?  The cat. The ***** will slice them up.  Won’t grab the handguns. Since we moved away from Oakland I have no idea where they are. LOL. 

[ExWNYer]

I'd grab the wife and use her as a human shield. I have two college age boys who need me, after all.

 

 

(j/k)

 

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

On 2/10/2022 at 4:42 AM, Nextmanup said:

Personally, I would rush to the kitchen and grab an 8" chef's knife.

 

Wow...I didn't realize that Chef Jim's is 8".

[Golden*Wheels]

On 2/9/2022 at 10:18 PM, T&C said:

I have a 9mm... and I know how to get to it fast but I'd grab 2 cans of hornet/wasp spray. Fairly cheap but very effective... shoots over 20'. The reason for 2 is that if one fails you have a backup, although they rarely fail. I'm not in a bad area at all but a story I read made me aware of this. Bear spray is expensive and could probably cause harm to yourself... the bouncers at bars use this one if it gets too crazy. 

 

How often you take those bad boys to the range T&C?

 

Does your state allow spray bottles with more than 10 ozs? My state makes me stay under 10ozs AND I have to put the little straw thing on the nozzle first to make it a legal length spray bottle. Also if my spray bottle has a nozzle, a handle AND  cap, it is now an assault spray bottle, and I have to get an NFA stamp for it. Goddamn Connecticut.

[Nextmanup]

4 hours ago, \GoBillsInDallas/ said:

 

Wow...I didn't realize that Chef Jim's is 8".

...yep, and it's all for you!  He told me.

 

 

[frostbitmic]

Take that b******

 

 

I'd probably just throw the cat at them, someone will get sliced and diced