I have a situation; HELP ME

[Clippers of Nfl]

I say hi to my neighbors when I see them. Hello, Hi, Waive, Nod, Good morning,etc.

There is a neighbor that smokes a lot. So he goes out to his lawn area to smoke a lot. He lives like 4 homes away. My garage has space for just one car. Wife takes it. I park on the street.

Long story short I always see him there. Between 0-10 TIMES A DAY.

 

All 10 times I say "HI" or waive.

 

For example: I need to wash my car. I see him outside smoking. I say Hello. Then he goes back inside at some point.

30 minutes later I come back. Park my car. And boom out he comes out to smoke again and to say hi again. This repeats all day.

 

Im freaking busy. He's not.

 

I'm in a trap. I cant stop saying hi. But too many "hellos" is killing me now.

 

Suggestions?

[Doc]

I say hi to my neighbors when I see them. Hello, Hi, Waive, Nod, Good morning,etc.

There is a neighbor that smokes a lot. So he goes out to his lawn area to smoke a lot. He lives like 4 homes away. My garage has space for just one car. Wife takes it. I park on the street.

Long story short I always see him there. Between 0-10 TIMES A DAY.

 

All 10 times I say "HI" or waive.

 

For example: I need to wash my car. I see him outside smoking. I say Hello. Then he goes back inside at some point.

30 minutes later I come back. Park my car. And boom out he comes out to smoke again and to say hi again. This repeats all day.

 

Im freaking busy. He's not.

 

I'm in a trap. I cant stop saying hi. But too many "hellos" is killing me now.

 

Suggestions?

For this alone I'd shiv the mofo.

[Gugny]

The first hello of the day doesn't expire until the next calendar day.

[John from Riverside]

I say hi to my neighbors when I see them. Hello, Hi, Waive, Nod, Good morning,etc.

There is a neighbor that smokes a lot. So he goes out to his lawn area to smoke a lot. He lives like 4 homes away. My garage has space for just one car. Wife takes it. I park on the street.

Long story short I always see him there. Between 0-10 TIMES A DAY.

 

All 10 times I say "HI" or waive.

 

For example: I need to wash my car. I see him outside smoking. I say Hello. Then he goes back inside at some point.

30 minutes later I come back. Park my car. And boom out he comes out to smoke again and to say hi again. This repeats all day.

 

Im freaking busy. He's not.

 

I'm in a trap. I cant stop saying hi. But too many "hellos" is killing me now.

 

Suggestions?

A simple head nod will do

[Gugny]

You may want to offer him your shower, too.

[Jauronimo]

I say hi to my neighbors when I see them. Hello, Hi, Waive, Nod, Good morning,etc.

There is a neighbor that smokes a lot. So he goes out to his lawn area to smoke a lot. He lives like 4 homes away. My garage has space for just one car. Wife takes it. I park on the street.

Long story short I always see him there. Between 0-10 TIMES A DAY.

 

All 10 times I say "HI" or waive.

 

For example: I need to wash my car. I see him outside smoking. I say Hello. Then he goes back inside at some point.

30 minutes later I come back. Park my car. And boom out he comes out to smoke again and to say hi again. This repeats all day.

 

Im freaking busy. He's not.

 

I'm in a trap. I cant stop saying hi. But too many "hellos" is killing me now.

 

Suggestions?

Vow of silence.

[Clippers of Nfl]

For this alone I'd shiv the mofo.

Ha ha.

When Im getting back from work or going somewhere, Im like "please dont be there, please dont be there"

 

AND HE'S THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A simple head nod will do

It's weird but if I started just a head nod, he'd know something is up. I dont want to hurt his feelings.

 

Im going to have to move or kill him. One of the two. AND I LIKE MY CITY.

[DC Tom]

I say hi to my neighbors when I see them. Hello, Hi, Waive, Nod, Good morning,etc.

There is a neighbor that smokes a lot. So he goes out to his lawn area to smoke a lot. He lives like 4 homes away. My garage has space for just one car. Wife takes it. I park on the street.

Long story short I always see him there. Between 0-10 TIMES A DAY.

 

All 10 times I say "HI" or waive.

 

For example: I need to wash my car. I see him outside smoking. I say Hello. Then he goes back inside at some point.

30 minutes later I come back. Park my car. And boom out he comes out to smoke again and to say hi again. This repeats all day.

 

Im freaking busy. He's not.

 

I'm in a trap. I cant stop saying hi. But too many "hellos" is killing me now.

 

Suggestions?

 

Simple. Next time you see him, your very first thought should be "What would DC Tom do?"

 

And what would DC Tom do, beyond calling him an idiot? Well, DC Tom knows that social niceties exist only to grease the wheels of social interaction. In the absence of social interaction, social niceties are irrelevant. Since DC Tom wouldn't be interacting with him socially, DC Tom would forego the social nicety of saying "Hello." So DC Tom would give him a polite, brief wave of the hand and go on about his business. Because !@#$ social niceties.

 

Many, many problems of social interaction can be solved by pondering the question "What Would DC Tom Do?"

 

(Note: "call someone an idiot" is understood. Only in pondering the question of "What Would DC Tom Do?" beyond that obvious answer can you achieve true enlightenment.)

[Jon in Pasadena]

Try waving instead of waiving. It takes about 72% less energy.

[ricojes]

Say, "Hi, can i get a cigarette?" every single time you see him. He will eventually move to the back of the house to smoke...

[Clippers of Nfl]

 

Simple. Next time you see him, your very first thought should be "What would DC Tom do?"

 

And what would DC Tom do, beyond calling him an idiot? Well, DC Tom knows that social niceties exist only to grease the wheels of social interaction. In the absence of social interaction, social niceties are irrelevant. Since DC Tom wouldn't be interacting with him socially, DC Tom would forego the social nicety of saying "Hello." So DC Tom would give him a polite, brief wave of the hand and go on about his business. Because !@#$ social niceties.

 

Many, many problems of social interaction can be solved by pondering the question "What Would DC Tom Do?"

 

(Note: "call someone an idiot" is understood. Only in pondering the question of "What Would DC Tom Do?" beyond that obvious answer can you achieve true enlightenment.)

Waive of just the hand?

I could try that.

 

Also let me take this opportunity if I may, and until Im banned, I guess I can:

 

Screw you smokers for making nice guys like me who dont smoke feel uneasy and uncomfortable!!!!!!

[DC Tom]

It's weird but if I started just a head nod, he'd know something is up. I dont want to hurt his feelings.

 

Why on earth not? People actually think like that?

 

Im going to have to move or kill him. One of the two. AND I LIKE MY CITY.

 

Killing him might hurt his feelings. But not for very long, though. It also may be redundant, given how much he smokes.

 

You know...you could also tell your wife she has to park in the street from now on, and take the garage yourself. I know you don't want to hurt his feelings...you didn't say anything about hers, though.

[Clippers of Nfl]

 

Why on earth not? People actually think like that?

 

 

Killing him might hurt his feelings. But not for very long, though. It also may be redundant, given how much he smokes.

 

You know...you could also tell your wife she has to park in the street from now on, and take the garage yourself. I know you don't want to hurt his feelings...you didn't say anything about hers, though.

Very very very funny. Laughing my butt off.

 

Dude you dont miss a beat!!!

 

Good one DC

[Jauronimo]

Waive of just the hand?

I could try that.

 

Also let me take this opportunity if I may, and until Im banned, I guess I can:

 

Screw you smokers for making nice guys like me who dont smoke feel uneasy and uncomfortable!!!!!!

Maybe you're just defective and the hundreds of meaningless such social interactions that normal people face every day aren't really something to be uneasy or uncomfortable about? Have you considered that?

[Dante]

 

Simple. Next time you see him, your very first thought should be "What would DC Tom do?"

 

And what would DC Tom do, beyond calling him an idiot? Well, DC Tom knows that social niceties exist only to grease the wheels of social interaction. In the absence of social interaction, social niceties are irrelevant. Since DC Tom wouldn't be interacting with him socially, DC Tom would forego the social nicety of saying "Hello." So DC Tom would give him a polite, brief wave of the hand and go on about his business. Because !@#$ social niceties.

 

Many, many problems of social interaction can be solved by pondering the question "What Would DC Tom Do?"

 

(Note: "call someone an idiot" is understood. Only in pondering the question of "What Would DC Tom Do?" beyond that obvious answer can you achieve true enlightenment.)

I wish I had 1/10th your self image! Taking the "What would Jesus Do?" question as your own is self esteem of the highest order.

Say, "Hi, can i get a cigarette?" every single time you see him. He will eventually move to the back of the house to smoke...

I like this option

Edited June 3, 2015 by Dante

[DC Tom]

Waive of just the hand?

I could try that.

 

Also let me take this opportunity if I may, and until Im banned, I guess I can:

 

Screw you smokers for making nice guys like me who dont smoke feel uneasy and uncomfortable!!!!!!

 

Yeah...but that's not the point. The point is "What Would DC Tom Do?" So yeah, wave of the hand...but you have to wave it like I would. Glance in his direction - look directly at him, but with no more than a quarter-turn of the head. Raise your hand to shoulder level (dominant hand if it's free), fingers together but relaxed, thumb loosely apart, a single pivot at the wrist through 90 degrees, left-to-right (roughly from 10 to 2). As your hand passes through 12, your eyes and head should return to whatever you're doing next, preparing for completion of the wave. The whole impression you want to give is one of "Yes, I acknowledge your presence, but my recognition of you does not rise above tolerance."

 

 

What...you all think I'm this big an !@#$ by nature? It takes !@#$ing practice, people.

[Beerball]

Suggestions?

Invite him over to use your shower.

[KD in CA]

Try waving instead of waiving. It takes about 72% less energy.

 

I think he should waive the requirement to acknowledge the guy at all.

[mead107]

He never replies? Give him the finger.

[ExiledInIllinois]

Welcome to my world. @ work, you (I guess you don't have to) wave when a boat passes... We have 10's of thousands of vessels pass by eacn year... How do I stop waving, it gets so bad w/the towboats that they put their pilothouse light on to wave... I feel obliged to put the overhead lights on in the control house... PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! Some vessels actually take the opportunity to thank you on Marine Band/VHF channel 16... MAKE IT STOP! All this niceness wears me out! Didn't I just see you a few hours ago?

 

Why do people wave on boats... ??? I also have a Jeep Wrangler (etc... type)... Why do they wave there to when passing another of the same vehicle... WTF!

 

:-/

The first hello of the day doesn't expire until the next calendar day.

Have you ever been on or near the water. That sounds nice and easy, but it doesn't work that way.

 

;-P

[DC Tom]

Welcome to my world. @ work, you (I guess you don't have to) wave when a boat passes... We have 10's of thousands of vessels pass by eacn year... How do I stop waving, it gets so bad w/the towboats that they put their pilothouse light on to wave... I feel obliged to put the overhead lights on in the control house... PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! Some vessels actually take the opportunity to thank you on Marine Band/VHF channel 16... MAKE IT STOP! All this niceness wears me out! Didn't I just see you a few hours ago?

 

Why do people wave on boats... ??? I also have a Jeep Wrangler (etc... type)... Why do they wave there to when passing another of the same vehicle... WTF!

 

:-/

 

Have you ever been on or near the water. That sounds nice and easy, but it doesn't work that way.

 

;-P

 

Somewhere on the internet there's a boaters' message board with a 250-page thread complaining about the incoherent lock worker who waves to everybody...

He never replies? Give him the finger.

 

If that doesn't get a reaction, hold up a sign that says "I nailed your wife."

[Chef Jim]

You say hi to him several times a day? I'd say you're just lucky he's not shived you ya mofo.

[Cynical]

Instead of parking in the street, park on his damn lawn. I am sure you will get some kind of reaction from him.

[ExiledInIllinois]

 

Somewhere on the internet there's a boaters' message board with a 250-page thread complaining about the incoherent lock worker who waves to everybody...

 

Funny thing is, they wave first... For what reason I don't know. :-/

 

 

Clipper... Do what they do in England and "speak" to him... All that is is a subtle hand gesture and nod. Much easier.

[Chef Jim]

Funny thing is, they wave first... For what reason I don't know. :-/

 

 

Clipper... Do what they do in England and "speak" to him... All that is is a subtle hand gesture and nod. Much easier.

 

It's a boater thing. We always wave at people when we pass.

[ExiledInIllinois]

 

It's a boater thing. We always wave at people when we pass.

Yeah, that's what I have figured... Just like the Jeep Wave... Corvette Wave, etc...

 

I usually get a kick out of the dumbazzes that wave to the wrong/opposite control house. I should get on the PA and say: "Hey, I am over here. All eyes two-whistle (starboard/right) (or one-whistle (port/left)) side."

[Just Jack]

Instead of waving or saying hi, do the old "I'm watching you" gesture.

[ExiledInIllinois]

Instead of waving or saying hi, do the old "I'm watching you" gesture.

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/N0-aQPbzCZE/hqdefault.jpg

[DC Tom]

I am a big "hi" guy, but this sounds excessive.

 

Might do "hi" for the first 3, head nod for the next 3, and close out the day with knowing looks/raised brows.

 

No, close out the day with copious amounts of ketchup smeared on your hands and shirt, and ask him if you can borrow his shovel...

[ICanSleepWhenI'mDead]

Start with #1 below, and work your way up to #5 if necessary:

 

1. Tell him his next-door neighbor (in your direction) mentioned to you that he/she (or better yet his/her young child) has mild asthma, and wishes he would smoke in the back yard rather than out front, but he/she was too nice to confront him about it. Do this on a day when the wind actually would blow less smoke in that neighbor's direction if the guy smoked in his back yard rather than out front. Close by telling him you think he should be able to smoke wherever he wants.

 

2. Tell him you are tentatively planning a trip with uncertain dates, and need somebody to watch your dog/cat/snake/whatever. Ask him what his schedule looks like, but don't actually ask him to do anything. Give him the impression that is likely to happen the next time you talk to him. Because your travel plans were only tentative, you never need to actually go anywhere, but the future trip is always on the horizon.

 

3. Every time you see him, invite him to "your" local kooky religious sect's services. This may require some research to find out what kooky sect is close enough to make the invitation seem credible. He ain't gonna go, so you never need to set foot in the place. But after a fairly short time, he is likely to avoid you.

4. Tell him you are having a plumbing problem at your house, and ask if you can use his bathroom. "Forget" to flush. Repeat daily for as long as necessary.

 

5. Only go outside at night.

Edited June 4, 2015 by ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

[Gordio]

I say hi to my neighbors when I see them. Hello, Hi, Waive, Nod, Good morning,etc.

There is a neighbor that smokes a lot. So he goes out to his lawn area to smoke a lot. He lives like 4 homes away. My garage has space for just one car. Wife takes it. I park on the street.

Long story short I always see him there. Between 0-10 TIMES A DAY.

 

All 10 times I say "HI" or waive.

 

For example: I need to wash my car. I see him outside smoking. I say Hello. Then he goes back inside at some point.

30 minutes later I come back. Park my car. And boom out he comes out to smoke again and to say hi again. This repeats all day.

 

Im freaking busy. He's not.

 

I'm in a trap. I cant stop saying hi. But too many "hellos" is killing me now.

 

Suggestions?

 

 

Is it really that big of deal to say hi to the guy multiple times a day? You must be exhausted saying 6-7 hellos to your neighbor a day. I don't know how you have the energy to function for the remainder of the day.

[Maury Ballstein]

i just dish out head nods with a rhetorical how's it going.

 

Saying hi more than once is kinda overkill

 

I'm sure the smoker hates it too.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

i just dish out head nods with a rhetorical how's it going.

 

Saying hi more than once is kinda overkill

 

I'm sure the smoker hates it too.

Yeah, he probably has a thread started on blacklung.com message board.

 

I have a lonely widow neighbor next door to me. She intercepts me almost every day to talk. Usually tells me the same things over and over again b/c she's becoming senile.

 

You're lucky you get off with a few hi's pal.

[CountryCletus]

Ohhh, first world problems...

[DC Tom]

Yeah, he probably has a thread started on blacklung.com message board.

 

I have a lonely widow neighbor next door to me. She intercepts me almost every day to talk. Usually tells me the same things over and over again b/c she's becoming senile.

 

You're lucky you get off with a few hi's pal.

 

You're an idiot. It never occurred to you to send strung-out shower dude over to senile prattling widow's place, and solve both your problems at once?

 

And what the hell is it with your neighborhood? You need to move.

[Clippers of Nfl]

Welcome to my world. @ work, you (I guess you don't have to) wave when a boat passes... We have 10's of thousands of vessels pass by eacn year... How do I stop waving, it gets so bad w/the towboats that they put their pilothouse light on to wave... I feel obliged to put the overhead lights on in the control house... PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! Some vessels actually take the opportunity to thank you on Marine Band/VHF channel 16... MAKE IT STOP! All this niceness wears me out! Didn't I just see you a few hours ago?

 

Why do people wave on boats... ??? I also have a Jeep Wrangler (etc... type)... Why do they wave there to when passing another of the same vehicle... WTF!

 

:-/

 

Have you ever been on or near the water. That sounds nice and easy, but it doesn't work that way.

 

;-P

Ha ha. Now you know I feel.

You say hi to him several times a day? I'd say you're just lucky he's not shived you ya mofo.

What am I supposed to do. He makes eye contact with me...

Funny thing is, they wave first... For what reason I don't know. :-/

 

 

Clipper... Do what they do in England and "speak" to him... All that is is a subtle hand gesture and nod. Much easier.

I have spoken to him before. We have nothing in common. He's like 65 years old. Im 35. He smokes a lot. I dont smoke at all.

Honestly for me its stops right there. I have zero friends that smoke.

I am a big "hi" guy, but this sounds excessive.

 

Might do "hi" for the first 3, head nod for the next 3, and close out the day with knowing looks/raised brows.

I prefer he stays in his house all day. That would be best case scenario.

Yeah, he probably has a thread started on blacklung.com message board.

 

I have a lonely widow neighbor next door to me. She intercepts me almost every day to talk. Usually tells me the same things over and over again b/c she's becoming senile.

 

You're lucky you get off with a few hi's pal.

For some reason, I would prefer THAT!

 

 

Is it really that big of deal to say hi to the guy multiple times a day? You must be exhausted saying 6-7 hellos to your neighbor a day. I don't know how you have the energy to function for the remainder of the day.

Yes. One of us has to stop. Me or the smoker.

[Chef Jim]

 

What am I supposed to do. He makes eye contact with me...

 

Looking in his direction is your fist mistake. I've learned looking down as I walk keeps me from acknowledging people I have no desire to acknowledge.

[Clippers of Nfl]

 

Looking in his direction is your fist mistake. I've learned looking down as I walk keeps me from acknowledging people I have no desire to acknowledge.

That is avoidance.

 

Update:

He now goes ouside with his ipad and smokes. Probably posts somewhere.

Omg. What are the chances in this "small world" that "smoker" is a tbd poster??

[Chef Jim]

That is avoidance.

 

 

When you learn the art of avoidance you will have reached total enlightenment grasshopper.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

 

You're an idiot. It never occurred to you to send strung-out shower dude over to senile prattling widow's place, and solve both your problems at once?

 

And what the hell is it with your neighborhood? You need to move.

You make a good point Tom. I am an idiot.

 

The neighborhood is actually rebounding well. The heroin den across the street has long since been vacated, and it is now on the market. We're hoping for some intellectually disabled, satanic cult members to buy the house to spice things up around here.

 

BTW...I learned recently that Shower Boy is in the slammer. Allegedly, he roughed up an elderly person and stole a bunch of their pain medication. I saw him not too long ago outside the local Subutex clinic.