Are thank you notes a thing of the past?

[LabattBlue]

Over the last couple years, we've been to HS grad parties for friends/relatives kids, sent dinner or gifts to friends/relatives who have a newborn, b-day presents sent to children of niece and nephew(they live out of town)...and almost in every case, no thank you note.  Is this a new thing where anyone under the age of ~30 doesn't know what a thank you note is? Not even a thank you via text or email.

[RaoulDuke79]

IMO its always appropriate to say thank you in these type of events regardless of the medium. My wife threw a surprise birthday party for me last year and I sent thank-you notes to everyone who came. 

[Gugny]

20 minutes ago, LabattBlue said:

Over the last couple years, we've been to HS grad parties for friends/relatives kids, sent dinner or gifts to friends/relatives who have a newborn, b-day presents sent to children of niece and nephew(they live out of town)...and almost in every case, no thank you note.  Is this a new thing where anyone under the age of ~30 doesn't know what a thank you note is? Not even a thank you via text or email.

 

Personally, I think they are alive and well.  Like you, however, my mailbox does not agree.

 

Over the past few years, I, like you have given gifts/money for grads, newborns, weddings, etc.

 

ONE thank you note (and it was recent).  I bought some things on my friend/his wife's registry for their newborn (first baby).  Got the thank you card in under a month.  His wife wrote a note on the left; he wrote a note on the right.  Personalized.  Not just "thank you for the lovely gift," which I'd be fine with.  But a small paragraph, each.

 

Other than that?  NADA.

[707BillsFan]

I think it's how you were brought up. My wife's family (extended family included) is great with thank you notes. We just received a thank you note from my wife's cousins son who just graduated high school. Our friends always send notes too. Me? Never heard of them growing up. Something that was never done. She always made our daughters write thank you notes. I hope they continue to enforce that tradition when they have families of their own. I'm not a traditionalist, but some things like acknowledging a gift and saying thanks is important. 

Edited July 18, 2020 by 707BillsFan

[KD in CA]

We make the kids do it for b-day/XMas presents, but I think in general it’s gone the way off long hand letters.

 

As adults we don’t send nor receive thank you notes for hosting parties, etc.

[RochesterRob]

  Prompt thank you cards seem to be less of a priority with the under age 40 group.  

[NoHuddleKelly12]

We make it a point to have our kids understand the importance of thank you notes for b-day gifts, etc. What I can’t vouch for however, is how long it may take to get to said person ?. When is it too late exactly to still be in good taste? 

[US Egg]

Like everything that is now preached by the Left, common courtesy is an antiquated behavior.

Edited July 18, 2020 by I am the egg man

[T&C]

53 minutes ago, I am the egg man said:

Like everything that is now preached by the Left, common courtesy is an antiquated behavior.

A lot of things are antiquated regarding common courtesy and sending mail in general. Older posters will remember when sending a letter/card/package to a boy under 12 it was sent as "To Master John C. Jones".

 

Letters were sealed with a wax stamp.

 

Calligraphy... forget it.

 

 

[BuffaloBud]

I send thank you cards to all of my Pelotonia donors.  It’s not hard.

[dhg]

A thank you card or even a thank you phone call is always the proper etiquette. Heck even a text. Please and thank you go a long way

[Marv's Neighbor]

People are no longer taught RESPECT!  A Thank You note is a simple sign of respect and gratitude.

[The Dean]

On 7/18/2020 at 7:05 PM, I am the egg man said:

Like everything that is now preached by the Left, common courtesy is an antiquated behavior.

 

 

An exceptionally moronic response. 

 

I find I get thank you texts or emails. It's the thought that counts, not how it is expressed.

[LewPort71]

Thank you notes via text, email or snail mail are all acceptable IMHO.  It's the thought.

My mom was a prodigious letter writer and my sister and I inherited that gene.

I have passed that on to my grandson as I taught him the best three words in the 

English language are "Please" and "Thank You".

 

The next three are  Let's Go BILLS !

[Gugny]

9 hours ago, The Dean said:

 

 

An exceptionally moronic response. 

 

I find I get thank you texts or emails. It's the thought that counts, not how it is expressed.

 

35 minutes ago, LewPort71 said:

Thank you notes via text, email or snail mail are all acceptable IMHO.  It's the thought.

My mom was a prodigious letter writer and my sister and I inherited that gene.

I have passed that on to my grandson as I taught him the best three words in the 

English language are "Please" and "Thank You".

 

The next three are  Let's Go BILLS !

 

Agreed, re: electronic thank yous.  I see nothing wrong with it.

[teef]

as most have mentioned, i think texts and emails have taken over.  that being said, or group is pretty good about sending written cards.  if we bring friend's kids gifts for birthdays, we always get a card in response.  i think it gets harder for getting teens to send out thank you cards.  i did hear a great solution though.  if a child gets money as a gift, don't allow them to spend the money or cash the check until the card has been sent out.  

[ExWNYer]

On 7/18/2020 at 2:47 PM, 707BillsFan said:

I think it's how you were brought up. My wife's family (extended family included) is great with thank you notes. We just received a thank you note from my wife's cousins son who just graduated high school. Our friends always send notes too. Me? Never heard of them growing up. Something that was never done. She always made our daughters write thank you notes. I hope they continue to enforce that tradition when they have families of their own. I'm not a traditionalist, but some things like acknowledging a gift and saying thanks is important. 

 

Agreed. I was always taught that if somebody was considerate enough to think of me and take the time to send me a gift, money, etc that I could take the time to thank them for their kindness. My parents had me write thank you notes and I have instilled that in my sons, as well. My younger son just graduated from high school and he sent thank you notes to everyone who sent him money. Manners never go out of style and are not related to political affiliation despite a$$hat comments by such 'enlightened' posters as 'I am the egg man'. 

[Greg S]

Thank you text, e-mail or note is all acceptable IMHO. Has anyone else noticed that "Your Welcome" has now been replaced with "No Problem". Can someone explain that one.

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

On 7/18/2020 at 7:06 PM, T&C said:

A lot of things are antiquated regarding common courtesy and sending mail in general. Older posters will remember when sending a letter/card/package to a boy under 12 it was sent as "To Master John C. Jones".

 

In high school we had a classmate whose last name was Bateman. We used to call him "Master Bateman".

 

[TBBills]

Do people need thank you notes? Do they need that satisfaction of a little piece of paper thanking them for something? Waste of paper, I will just send you a text saying thanks.

[Just Joshin']

Cards in general are a thing of the past.  My wife is huge on all types of cards but the traffic is almost one way at this point.  Texting is the new card.

[teef]

my wife's friend has another interesting move.  say she has a birthday party for one of her kids, and thank you cards are in order.  she doesn't write out a specific card to each gift giver, but instead sends the generic picture post card you may get for christmas now.  just a picture of the kid/kids on the front with a preprinted, generic thank you on the back.  

[DrDawkinstein]

6 hours ago, Greg S said:

Thank you text, e-mail or note is all acceptable IMHO. Has anyone else noticed that "Your Welcome" has now been replaced with "No Problem". Can someone explain that one.

 

Sure, no problem!

 

https://didyouknowfacts.com/why-young-people-say-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome-and-why-older-people-hate-it/

Quote

“Actually, the “you’re welcome/no problem” issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say “you’re welcome,” younger ppl tend to say “no problem.” This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s them saying, ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.”

 

“No problem, however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that your need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).”

 

“Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is a requirement.”

 

 

https://allthingslinguistic.com/post/124189121619/no-problem-vs-youre-welcome

Quote

Something interesting to note is also the more literal meaning behind these two phrases and how they themselves differ and oppose each other.

 

‘No problem’, coming from a millennial’s mouth, within the context of helping someone – whether it be holding a door open/picking up something someone may have dropped/etc. – and, naturally, being thanked for it, implies that the kind gesture was indeed, not a problem, that it was just the thing to do, that they were happy to help and that no thanks was really necessary.

 

While a Baby Boomer’s ‘You’re welcome’ in contrast, says something miles different, it actually highlights the fact that the person went out of their way to help someone; almost brings attention to it in a way, saying 'Yeah, I helped you, I did you this favor I accept your thanks.’ which, malicious intent or not, is strikingly different than the millennial downplay of their act of kindness for the sake of helping someone.

 

And lastly, an in-depth article that ultimately shows it doesnt really matter which you use. We, as humans, just need a way to end the conversation while being semi-polite. Too much to quote.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-dont-we-say-youre-welcome-anymore_n_5a6fab14e4b0a52682fecef0

 

 

You're Welcome!

Edited July 20, 2020 by DrDawkinstein

[TBBills]

42 minutes ago, teef said:

my wife's friend has another interesting move.  say she has a birthday party for one of her kids, and thank you cards are in order.  she doesn't write out a specific card to each gift giver, but instead sends the generic picture post card you may get for christmas now.  just a picture of the kid/kids on the front with a preprinted, generic thank you on the back.  

Exactly simplicity is the name of the game when it comes to the future. How simple and fast can you thank someone so you can move on.

[DrDawkinstein]

I was raised to always send them, and we always have. But in all honesty, whenever I'm on the receiving end, I usually roll my eyes at how unnecessary it is.

 

Weddings/Baby Showers, I know we're going to receive a thank you card. And if we've given an actual gift (as opposed to cash as a wedding gift), then it makes a little more sense.

 

But if it's a kids birthday or graduation or confirmation, and all I've done is hit the ATM to get cash for the card my wife picked out... No separate thank you is necessary. Thank me when I give you the card, and the matter is done. Go enjoy the money I gave you, or do whatever you want with it. We're done here.

[teef]

20 minutes ago, TBBills said:

Exactly simplicity is the name of the game when it comes to the future. How simple and fast can you thank someone so you can move on.

it's a nice gesture to even send them.  we do the thank you cards, but i'm just not sure anyone cares anymore.

16 minutes ago, DrDawkinstein said:

I was raised to always send them, and we always have. But in all honesty, whenever I'm on the receiving end, I usually roll my eyes at how unnecessary it is.

 

Weddings/Baby Showers, I know we're going to receive a thank you card. And if we've given an actual gift (as opposed to cash as a wedding gift), then it makes a little more sense.

 

But if it's a kids birthday or graduation or confirmation, and all I've done is hit the ATM to get cash for the card my wife picked out... No separate thank you is necessary. Thank me when I give you the card, and the matter is done. Go enjoy the money I gave you, or do whatever you want with it. We're done here.

you're right about the occasion.  wedding and showers in general almost always get the written thank you card.  everything else...meh.

[Marv's Neighbor]

11 hours ago, LewPort71 said:

Thank you notes via text, email or snail mail are all acceptable IMHO.  It's the thought.

My mom was a prodigious letter writer and my sister and I inherited that gene.

I have passed that on to my grandson as I taught him the best three words in the 

English language are "Please" and "Thank You".

 

The next three are  Let's Go BILLS !

Up yours Brady is OK too!

[The Dean]

I wanted to add, I think I get MORE thank you messages than in the past, since they are easier to send via text and email. At the end of the last century, they were very few and far between. I admit to slacking a few times myself. But I've always been a bit lax in remembering stuff like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, etc. On the other hand, I tend to do special things for others at random times for no particular reason. It sounds good when I say it to myself, but doesn't necessarily go over too well with girlfriends and such.

[Gugny]

14 hours ago, DrDawkinstein said:

I was raised to always send them, and we always have. But in all honesty, whenever I'm on the receiving end, I usually roll my eyes at how unnecessary it is.

 

Weddings/Baby Showers, I know we're going to receive a thank you card. And if we've given an actual gift (as opposed to cash as a wedding gift), then it makes a little more sense.

 

But if it's a kids birthday or graduation or confirmation, and all I've done is hit the ATM to get cash for the card my wife picked out... No separate thank you is necessary. Thank me when I give you the card, and the matter is done. Go enjoy the money I gave you, or do whatever you want with it. We're done here.

 

13 hours ago, teef said:

it's a nice gesture to even send them.  we do the thank you cards, but i'm just not sure anyone cares anymore.

you're right about the occasion.  wedding and showers in general almost always get the written thank you card.  everything else...meh.

 

Great point, re: the occasion.  When younger, my son would get bday cards/money in the mail from my brother/his family (we don't see each other a lot because his wife is a c) and a friend of the family.  I always asked him to call and thank them.  Really quick, "hey, I got the card, thank you so much," a little obligatory small talk, and done.