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Deadspin's "Why your team sucks" 2016


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They do this every year, in order of worst to first. I just spit out my water twice reading the Browns write-up. Yesterday was Chargers. Great for a laugh - and the fan comments are priceless.

 

Browns

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-cleveland-browns-1784308358?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

Chargers

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-san-diego-chargers-1784386785

 

Titans

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-tennessee-titans-1784250380

Edited by YoloinOhio
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They do this every year, in order of worst to first. I just spit out my water twice reading the Browns write-up. Yesterday was Chargers. Great for a laugh - and the fan comments are priceless.

 

Browns

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-cleveland-browns-1784308358?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

Chargers

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-san-diego-chargers-1784386785

 

Titans

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-tennessee-titans-1784250380

 

This series is one of my favorite things about the lead-up to the season. Always very funny.

 

My god, that Browns one is brilliant. The animated gif of the Ravens' kick-six, I almost forgot about that play. I had the Ravens defense that week. That one play single-handedly won me fantasy football that week, and kept me in contention to eventually win the league.

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one of the browns fans comments tells a story about how a guy selling peanuts and water outside of the game didnt pause between words so it sounded like "Penis Water" - and that was the highlight of that game, haha

 

love these

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I think I missed the chance.

 

 

 

That sucks

 

 

 

 

CBF

 

You can still comment on the article. A lot of guys leave great comments (i.e. "The Browns may not win the Super Bowl this year. They might not be AFC champs. They might not even take their division. But with RG3, they’re bound to overthrowsomebody"). But of course comment chains get started and it ends up being a lot to read through.

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We don't need Deadspin to tell us why our team sucks. We read this forum every day :)

 

I was going to say - when the Bills write-up comes out, even with the "fan voices" unsigned, we'll know who they are just by the rationale behind the reasons we suck :D

Edited by Heitz
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My fav from comments:

"..The fans in Cleveland are too depressing to make fun of. They have this incredible ability to sense a lost game way before it should be possible. At half time of this game, they were down by a touchdown, yet walking around the concourse you got the idea that 60,000 people had witnessed Jim Brown f*#% their mother while wearing a Ravens jersey. They just knew that there was no way for them to mount a 7 point “comeback” on the Ryan !@#$ing Mallet led Houston Texans. You could taste the depression. It rubbed off on you like Marcus Allen at the Playboy mansion."

 

Hilarious!

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My favorite from the Browns...

 

"Mostly, though, I remember my brother whipping up our section in a “Belichick Sucks” chant for most of the second half. He turned around about the 2 minute warning and flipped off our section. Good times."

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one of the browns fans comments tells a story about how a guy selling peanuts and water outside of the game didnt pause between words so it sounded like "Penis Water" - and that was the highlight of that game, haha

 

love these

that comment made me laugh too. the kick six videos are hilarious. im surprised they havent done Buffalo yet....or maybe there waiting for one of us to frog splash someone thru a table off a ladder during TC

Edited by Marty McFly
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that comment made me laugh too. the kick six videos are hilarious. im surprised they havent done Buffalo yet.

Bills will be 19th. They do it in draft order. They just did the 5th team today. This year's Bills write up should be epic. #fullypregnant Edited by YoloinOhio
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This is not a city known for its collective brainpower. These people are easy marks. We’re talking about a city that has all the grace and charm of a Margaritaville chain restaurant on its best day. They took literal paradise and turned it into a paved-over Navy base, filled with aggressive douchebros in pooka shell necklaces grabbing asses outside a bunch of overpriced Gaslamp Quarter fusion restaurants. This place is Colorado Springs on the Pacific. It’s frat finishing school.

 

I'm dying. San Diego is the macaroni grill of coastal towns.

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The Dolphins one is up... I'm two paragraphs in and already laughing. Adam Gase, sixth in line for the British Crown. Ha!

 

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-miami-dolphins-1784695113

 

The Dolphins writeup is pure awesomeness. "South Florida is where America goes to fall apart. It is our national case of jock itch."

 

Best comment: "People got better things to do down here, like mortgage fraud, identify theft, Medicare fraud, and social security fraud."

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The Dolphins writeup is pure awesomeness. "South Florida is where America goes to fall apart. It is our national case of jock itch."

 

Best comment: "People got better things to do down here, like mortgage fraud, identify theft, Medicare fraud, and social security fraud."

:lol:
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The Fish writeup may be the best yet.

 

One amusing NFL tradition is when a horrible team’s season is over and the interim guy gets a token interview for the permanent job. I guarantee you that Campbell thought he had a chance. I guarantee you that he stormed into that conference room with a vein bursting from his dick and a PowerPoint presentation that consisted of nothing but scans of GNC product labels. WE’RE GONNA PLAY !@#$ING DOLPHIN FOOTBALL, MOTHER!@#$ERS!!!

 

:lol::lol:

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hell yeah. Fully preggo Ryan brothers having a baby hope its not a still born.

careful buddy.

not some thing to break chops about probably.

 

Now if they birth some antichrist or something equally malevolent !!

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The Dolphins one is up... I'm two paragraphs in and already laughing. Adam Gase, sixth in line for the British Crown. Ha!

 

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-miami-dolphins-1784695113

This stuff is really magnificent !

 

Considering that it's all tongue in cheek, and not a real opinion piece, I think they're all funny.

they sure are.

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The Dolphins one is up... I'm two paragraphs in and already laughing. Adam Gase, sixth in line for the British Crown. Ha!

 

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-miami-dolphins-1784695113

 

Classic!

 

"Gase helped Cutler cut down on his interceptions, an accomplishment so widely heralded you would have thought Gase built the f'n pyramids by hand."

 

I'm pretty sure the Bills one is just going to be a cut and paste of a Sully article! :D

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