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A Quick Laugh to Get By


Foxx

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A guy dies and gets to heaven and is surprised to see a large wall full of clocks.  He asks St Peter what they're for?

 

St Peter says they are "lie clocks."   Every time a person lies the hands move one second.  He points to Mother Theresa's clock and proudly tells the guy the hands have never moved.  Then he shows him George Washington's and the hands have only moved a couple of seconds, indicating that George was pretty honest.

 

Then the guy asks to see Hillary's clock.  St Peter tells him that they keep that one in Jesus's office, and he uses it as a ceiling fan.

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Bills news: OC Brian Daboll on what is different for QB Josh Allen in 2019

Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Rosen is entering his second offseason with the team and offensive coordinator Brian Daboll thinks that will be key in taking a step forward. Daboll knows in Allen's first season he had to learn all the formations, calls, and even where things 

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OC Brian Daboll on what is different for QB Josh Allen in 2019

Article 

Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Rosen is entering his second offseason 

 

THIS IS HERE ON PURPOSE 

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On 5/27/2019 at 1:57 PM, Bills!Win! said:

The wife and I made a funny parody video. Notice the Bills Blanket Spotted at the end 

 

 

 

 

Add some twins! No more time for parody videos!    ?

 

 

Nicely done. 

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On 5/27/2019 at 1:57 PM, Bills!Win! said:

The wife and I made a funny parody video. Notice the Bills Blanket Spotted at the end 

 

 

It too me a minute to recognize  that song from the Greatest Showman 

 

Loren Allred (a contestant on The Voice years ago) kickass on that song. 

[ that ^ should also get a quick laugh ] 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 5/18/2019 at 4:33 PM, ShadyBillsFan said:

If you want to make it political be generic or specify the worlds worst liar.  

 

Like DT

I thought Hilary was the worlds worst liar.  Who’s worse?  Her husband?  

 

And all all politicians are liars.  I don’t care for any of them regardless of party. 

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  • 6 months later...

A hydrogen atom walks into a police station and says:  "Somebody stole my electron."

Policeman says: "Are you sure?"

Hydrogen atom says: "I'm positive."

 

A neutron orders a beer at a bar.

Finishing it, he asks the bartender: "How much?"

Bartender says: "For you, no charge."

 

A photon checks in at the ticket counter for his flight.

"Agent says: "Any bags to check?"

Photon says: "No, I'm travelling light."

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A priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister are at a multi-faith conference in a rural wooded area.

On Monday, after a meeting they are conversing about which faith is the best.

Priest says Catholicism is, Pastor says Protestant faith is, Rabbi says Judaism is.

They decide to compete by seeing who can be the most successful and converting to their faith throughout the week and meeint Friday night to decide.

 

Friday comes and Priest spots Pastor and they start talking.

Priest says: "I was quite successful. I met a bear in the woods and have him a Catholic Catechism, told him a bout Mary and the Pope and all that, and he had his first communion today."

Pastor says: "I had great fortune too. I also met a bear in the woods and told him about salvation by grace through faith, and I baptized him this morning." 

Neither can find the Rabbi, but after about ten minutes he comes in being carried on a stretcher with bandages all over him and claw marks on his face.

Pastor and Priest both say in unison: "What happened to you?"

 

Rabbi says: " I ran into a bear in the woods. I knew I shouldn't have started with circumcision."

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A rabbi and a priest were talking. The priest asked the rabbi if he was disappointed that he couldn't eat bacon. The rabbi said, "In my younger days, I strayed from my religion and ate bacon once. It was good, and I sort of miss it."

Then the rabbi asked the priest if he was disappointed about having to remain celibate. The priest said, "Well, before I entered the priesthood, I slept with my high-school sweetheart, so I know what sex is like."

The rabbi grinned and said, "It's better than bacon, isn't it?"

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

One for Valentines Day.

 

A woman calls her husband and states “Three woman in the office just received flowers for Valentines Day and they are gorgeous”

Husband “That’s probably why they got ‘em”

 

I’m here the rest of the week. Heard that this morning on Dublin radio heading to the airport.

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