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THE ROCKPILE REVIEW - So Funny I Could Cry

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The Rockpile Review – by Shaw66

 

“So Funny I Could Cry”

 

There was a time when The Rockpile Review was funny, or that’s what people told me. 

 

I’ve been trying to remember those times.  The Rockpile Review began in 2005, under a different title.  In those days, it seemed I always could find the humor somewhere in the games.  J.P. Losman was pretty funny, I suppose.  T.O. was amusing.  Marshawn was always entertaining.  Eventually, however, the lovable loser thing got old.  A few years earlier, Dareus would have been funny, but by his time he was just a symptom.

 

It’s particularly hard to find the humor when the Bills are as bad as they were against the Colts on Sunday.  For the third time this season and the seventh time in two years, the Bills found themselves in a game in which they couldn’t compete.  They were outplayed from the beginning.  They were ineffective from the beginning.  It was so bad, it should have been funny, but it was worse than that. 

 

Well, watching Tremaine Edmunds tackle is kind of funny.  If he manages to actually get his arms around the guy, he slides off like a Looney Tunes character. 

 

Failing to score in the final two minutes of the first half while giving up 10 points was amazing, but I wasn’t laughing.

 

That’s about it for humor this week.  At least humor about the Bills.  Have you seen Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle?  Saw it the other night, and it’s surprisingly funny.  It’s a clever premise, putting real people into a video game, and the writers took full advantage.  It goes a bit overboard on the Indiana-Jones-like action sequences, but that’s okay.  It’s worth a watch. 

 

Sorry, but it’s kind of painful thinking about that game.  Particularly painful is that I believe coaching is more important than talent, and if I’m correct about that, the Bills’ coaches are terrible.  Sean McDermott says he hates pre-snap penalties.  Well, Sean, you had plenty to hate on Sunday, on both sides of the ball.  When’s your team going to clean them up?

 

I get being conservative and all, but at the end of the third quarter, down 21, you run twice and then throw incomplete on third and 12?  With McCoy out of the game, Ivory gets injured, and you give the ball to Marcus Murphy four consecutive plays? 

 

Guess what, Sean?  Kelvin Benjamin has come back from the dead.  He can run routes, and he’s catching the ball WITH HIS HANDS!  Zay Jones looks like a real receiver, too.  Can we PLEASE run some pass patterns to get these guys open?  Every team in the league gets guys open on third and 3, third and 5.  Just watch some film and copy what the Colts did to you.

 

Oh, and while you’re watching the film, try to figure out why it’s necessary for your entire zone defense to drop so deep that the opponents’ safety valve receiver can catch the ball over the middle with no defender within 15 yards.  Once you figure that out, maybe you can work THAT into the offense, too. 

 

Want to see a good movie?  Bad Times at El Royale.  I know, the previews make it look like another six-people-stranded-in-a-motel-on-a-rainy-night movie.  Well, yes, it is.  But it’s good.  Interesting characters.  Weird twists.  It’s funny and entertaining. 

 

The Bills, unfortunately, are not entertaining.  Some days they’re good on defense, other days not so much.  They’re essentially never good on offense – they’re not on the same planet with the Chiefs..  The special teams are iffy. 

 

Things I liked:  Kyle Williams.  He just always plays.  Jerry Hughes, penalties or not, he’s learned to play like Kyle.  Tre White – man, he sticks to his man.  That pass interference call was bogus; the receiver initiated the contact and then had to back off to try to catch the ball.  Tremaine Edmunds, despite his tackling.  Kelvin Benjamin, finally doing the things we thought he’d do when he came to Buffalo.  And I like Josh Allen.

 

 Despite what I might like, this team is in trouble.  And I’m not laughing.

 

 My wife said “maybe they’ll do better next week.”  I told her next week is the Patriots.  We both got a good laugh out of that. 

 

 

GO BILLS!!!

 

The Rockpile Review is written to share the passion we have for the Buffalo Bills. That passion was born in the Rockpile; its parents were everyday people of western New York who translated their dedication to a full day’s hard work and simple pleasures into love for a pro football team.

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Thanks for chiming in. I know it's hard to even put words on a page after watching this horror-fest October unravel. 

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I like your take.

 

I was getting mad at the beginning of the season, but now im trying to just laugh it off.  

 

The GF had an intervention of sorts and said sundays are miserable with me because when the bills lose(which happens too often), im useless and grumpy the rest of the day.

 

side note:  Better chance of winning the $1.6 Billion mega millions or the Bills winning on Monday?

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Hi Shaw, I don’t speak much, but I’ve read and enjoyed your weekly columns for years going back to the BBMB. I think this is probably the best one I’ve seen yet. Very entertaining and framed it perfectly, you really nailed it.

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Expect the worst each week from here on out and you'll never be disappointed.

Fantasy football helps. You can root for players on other teams and the season isn't over after 6 weeks.

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I think you are on to something when you say the coaching is terrible. McD would be a good coordinator but I seriously doubt he will turn out to be a good HC. Oh well, only 41 games left under this current regime, most likely, then we get to do it all over again.

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I laughed when I saw Murphy go to fair catch a punt, and fall down and the ball rolled another 20 yards. That basically let me know how the rest of the day was going to go

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9 minutes ago, Bray Wyatt said:

I laughed when I saw Murphy go to fair catch a punt, and fall down and the ball rolled another 20 yards. That basically let me know how the rest of the day was going to go

 

that was a rarity, without him tearing something, quite the comedy

 

 

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Thanks to Shaw and Virgil for posting each week... even after the team puts in an effort like yesterday...

 

Appreciate it...

 

I agree... this team is in trouble... I thought that collectively the D went through the motions yesterday... Not a good sign for McD...

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30 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

The Rockpile Review – by Shaw66

 

“So Funny I Could Cry”

 

There was a time when The Rockpile Review was funny, or that’s what people told me. ...

 

 ... Despite what I might like, this team is in trouble.  And I’m not laughing.

 

 My wife said “maybe they’ll do better next week.”  I told her next week is the Patriots.  We both got a good laugh out of that. 

 

 

GO BILLS!!!

 

The Rockpile Review is written to share the passion we have for the Buffalo Bills. That passion was born in the Rockpile; its parents were everyday people of western New York who translated their dedication to a full day’s hard work and simple pleasures into love for a pro football team.

very intelligently written, Shaw. nice read.

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I remember when McD was hired - the one thing I really liked reading about him was that he was a workaholic.  Sometimes slept at the office because he worked so late - stuff like that.  While not a great quality to have in general, I think a head coach has to be obsessed & relentless.

 

Now, it just seems like he’s in over his head.  He may work hard, but maybe he’s so immersed in the details that he misses the basics.  WAY too many times, this team seems completely unprepared, and it’s hard to discern what their game plan might have been before it all unraveled.

 

And the lack of discipline is worse than Rex’s team.  One untimely penalty after another.  

 

Anyway, good write up.  This really isn’t fun or even funny anymore.

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I agree completely, Shaw. As I posted in the post-game thread, I was at the game and couldn't find anything that could be construed as funny or entertaining once the game started. Yes, I did get to see "my boys" play. Then again, I'm not too sure that they can call that playing.

 

My seats were in the 7th row on about the 20-yard line. From there, I got to watch a lot of line play closely. First, I was actually impressed with the O-line play. I understand that the Colts do not have a highly-rated D-line, but our men held up very well against their front 7. On the other side, it sure looked to me that Jerry Hughes was being held on about every play. I also saw a lot of holding in the interior as well. Their center mugged one of our DTs at least a dozen times. I can tell you that this is a big reason for their success running inside. It was brutal.

 

Sadly, there wasn't a whole lot more to see for the Bills fans in attendance. Benjamin caught a few nice balls and we were able to enjoy laughing about that. But, there was no laughing about the defensive performance overall. On one play right in front of us, I watched Kyle screaming at the guys on the outside for not keeping contain. That looked a lot more troubling than the game itself. Kind of like there was dysfunction on the field. It was also clear that the D wasn't ready to go at the snap a few times. Shades of Rex-coached teams.

 

Oh well, $400 down the toilet for me.

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54 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

The Rockpile Review – by Shaw66

 

“So Funny I Could Cry”

 

There was a time when The Rockpile Review was funny, or that’s what people told me. 

 

I’ve been trying to remember those times.  The Rockpile Review began in 2005, under a different title.  In those days, it seemed I always could find the humor somewhere in the games.  J.P. Losman was pretty funny, I suppose.  T.O. was amusing.  Marshawn was always entertaining.  Eventually, however, the lovable loser thing got old.  A few years earlier, Dareus would have been funny, but by his time he was just a symptom.

 

It’s particularly hard to find the humor when the Bills are as bad as they were against the Colts on Sunday.  For the third time this season and the seventh time in two years, the Bills found themselves in a game in which they couldn’t compete.  They were outplayed from the beginning.  They were ineffective from the beginning.  It was so bad, it should have been funny, but it was worse than that. 

 

Shaw, I'm glad you're starting to see the truth. Its gone from "Outstanding" to "Crying" in 3 weeks.

 

You are seeing that Sean McDermott can't out culture his way over other teams, just like Rex couldn't run over teams with the ground and pound. He loves to tell you that he does the right things at the right times for his football team, that he knows where "you're going" with every question you ask. He's done it all, seen it all, thought of everything. 

 

But then his team goes out and gets curb stomped. And all he can say is I have to watch the tape and try to correct mistakes. There are no answers, there is no scheme, there is no young up and comer to promote, there's Brian Daboll sitting with Sean McDermott trying to keep things 3rd and manageable. 

 

Working hard, showing up to meetings on time and having no personality does not meaningfully differentiate yourself from any other NFL team. 

 

 

 

The Bills are like watching a Ford Model T drive by. The Chiefs are like watching the Millenium Falcon make the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs. 

 

The Bills are SLOW. Archaic. Running the draw play on 3rd-12 just to avoid a turnover. Trying to get teams to jump off sides so that you can see what alignment they're in.

 

 

How ridiculous is it that McDermott was saying Josh Allen could watch how Derek Anderson approaches a walkthrough.........

 

Its 1941 Football in Buffalo. 1941 Football. 

Edited by Straight Hucklebuck
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It sucks when you wait so long for football season to start and it is over before Halloween.

 

I really hope Allen shows something when he gets back. That is the only chance at a. Bright spot this year.

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1 hour ago, billspro said:

It sucks when you wait so long for football season to start and it is over before Halloween.

 

I really hope Allen shows something when he gets back. That is the only chance at a. Bright spot this year.

I think Allen is going to be great.   There's not much to watch until he gets back.  

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4 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

I think Allen is going to be great.   There's not much to watch until he gets back.  

I hope so however it depends if this regime can properly build the pieces around him.......Im losing the confidence that they can do this successfully.......or at all......

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I used to love going to games...unfortunately I haven’t been able to go in 3 years because the team is infuriating and unwatchable...I vowed not to go back until the team is good again...needless to say I’m not holding my breath.

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36 minutes ago, JaCrispy said:

I used to love going to games...unfortunately I haven’t been able to go in 3 years because the team is infuriating and unwatchable...I vowed not to go back until the team is good again...needless to say I’m not holding my breath.

I go hoping for miracles.   You know, like a Monday night win over the Patriots.  

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3 hours ago, Bray Wyatt said:

I laughed when I saw Murphy go to fair catch a punt, and fall down and the ball rolled another 20 yards. That basically let me know how the rest of the day was going to go

 

It's why Jeremy Kerley so good at that spot. That cut scratch my head lots

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1 hour ago, Shaw66 said:

I think Allen is going to be great.   There's not much to watch until he gets back.  

Despite being a rookie that has a long way to go losing Josh Allen really took the air out of the team and the Bills fan base IMO.

 

Thanks for the good read Shaw, Virgil, much appreciated fellas.

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1 hour ago, Shaw66 said:

I think Allen is going to be great.   There's not much to watch until he gets back.  

 

I like Allen also & think he has the potential to be great---I just wish we had an offensive minded coach to developed him. The modern NFL is about scoring & passing.

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One thing about Edmunds I forgot to note in the OP.  One of his problems - maybe it's what he's supposed to do, is that on runs he attacks his gap and gets right up in behind the defensive line.  When the running back changes direction, or when the play is a well-executed misdirection play, Edmunds can't move laterally, because he gets stuck in the mass of bodies, between his teammates and blockers who have gotten to the second level.   The result is that he can't pursue effectively.  Seems to me he needs to hang back a bit longer before he moves to plug the hole.   It means he gets to his gap a second later, but it also means he's in space where he can move laterally to make plays to his left or right.  

2 minutes ago, 1st&ten said:

 

I like Allen also & think he has the potential to be great---I just wish we had an offensive minded coach to developed him. The modern NFL is about scoring & passing.

I'll get bashed for saying this, but I didn't see Mahomes doing anything last night that Allen hasn't done or can't do.   Mahomes is blessed with a spectacular collection of talent and a brilliant head coach.   Allen has neither.

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42 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

One thing about Edmunds I forgot to note in the OP.  One of his problems - maybe it's what he's supposed to do, is that on runs he attacks his gap and gets right up in behind the defensive line.  When the running back changes direction, or when the play is a well-executed misdirection play, Edmunds can't move laterally, because he gets stuck in the mass of bodies, between his teammates and blockers who have gotten to the second level.   The result is that he can't pursue effectively.  Seems to me he needs to hang back a bit longer before he moves to plug the hole.   It means he gets to his gap a second later, but it also means he's in space where he can move laterally to make plays to his left or right.  

I'll get bashed for saying this, but I didn't see Mahomes doing anything last night that Allen hasn't done or can't do.   Mahomes is blessed with a spectacular collection of talent and a brilliant head coach.   Allen has neither.

Putting together the spectacular collection of talent takes time. Rookies also take time developing.

 

Players like White, Edmunds and Allen are a good start IMO.

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5 hours ago, billspro said:

It sucks when you wait so long for football season to start and it is over before Halloween.

 

I really hope Allen shows something when he gets back. That is the only chance at a. Bright spot this year.

 

At least the Sabres won’t be eliminated by Halowe’en

 

 

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