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Random Thoughts Thread


RaoulDuke79

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8 hours ago, Augie said:

After many weeks of this dragging out, my wife’s mother passed away today. So, here’s the thought: Hug your loved ones every day and tell them that you love them. 

Sorry to hear this. It's never easy when a loved one passes, but I can imagine that it's worse when it drags out like you mentioned. At least now your family can start to move forward. May she RIP.

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18 minutes ago, /dev/null said:

My flight has been delayed because they can't find the captain

 

How the @#$& does an airline lose track of a captain?

i was on a puddle jumper one time going from miami to mexico.  we were sitting on the plan waiting forever.  a very young pilot stumbled on, obviously annoyed.  from what i understand, he was pissed because he wasn't even aware that he was supposed to be taking that flight.  i'm not sure what i heard was correct, but apparently ,**** happens.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've grown tired of the term "really". There are 60 year old women at my work now who use "really" every thirty minutes or so when they have a problem they cant figure out. And for the most part it's a very simple solution. It's like working with an elderly tween.

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On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 1:05 PM, /dev/null said:

My flight has been delayed because they can't find the captain

 

How the @#$& does an airline lose track of a captain?

 

I had a flight (early morning) where they were missing a flight attendant. Turns out her hotel never did the wake up call or she forgot to set her alarm. 

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23 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

My diet over the past 3 days has been cabbage soup and cheese sandwiches.  Today my farts are wretched.  The smell would gag a maggot.

 

Thank you form sharing that. It pleases me that I am very far from Vermont, and I love good news.  

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So I was watching the weather radar for the northeast and was going through the states in my mind. I couldn't think of one so I asked my wife. She said it was New Hampshire,  which lead me to think of the last time I've been heard of New Hampshire mentioned in any type of media. No news is good news I suppose.

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On 12/8/2017 at 7:32 PM, RaoulDuke79 said:

The damn elf on the shelf is a real serious commitment. I would recommend avoiding this all together unless you are a stay at home dad or wife. God forbid you forget a day.

 

I hate that damned elf.  My son is old enough now that he remembers the “elf pranks” we did in previous years.  I’m running out of ideas.  And those websites that claim to have “easy elf on a shelf ideas” are full of ****!  If it takes me more than 10 minutes and requires a band saw, vice grips, velcro and a glue gun it’s not easy!!!

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7 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

 

I hate that damned elf.  My son is old enough now that he remembers the “elf pranks” we did in previous years.  I’m running out of ideas.  And those websites that claim to have “easy elf on a shelf ideas” are full of ****!  If it takes me more than 10 minutes and requires a band saw, vice grips, velcro and a glue gun it’s not easy!!!

Random thought too:

 

FAKE NEWS!

"Whoever said life is fair and easy." :D

 

Stop doing cheesy things.  Trying way too hard.  Set Christmas off right, stick that damn Elf in middle of living, they will never expect in right under their noses and if they do?  Say: "So! Don't care!"  It works for him:

 

Jay_Cutler_Cutty_Snark--EXT02.jpg

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2 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Random thought too:

 

FAKE NEWS!

"Whoever said life is fair and easy." :D

 

Stop doing cheesy things.  Trying way too hard.  Set Christmas off right, stick that damn Elf in middle of living, they will never expect in right under their noses and if they do?  Say: "So! Don't care!"  It works for him:

 

Jay_Cutler_Cutty_Snark--EXT02.jpg

 

Easy for you to say old man.  Clearly, your children grew up long before the EOAS phase :D

 

My wife and I forgot about the elf last Saturday night.  We stayed up late and had more than a few drinks.  You should have seen the panic in my bride’s eyes when she heard my daughter’s bedroom door open in the morning.  She gave her a good stiff arm back into her bedroom and ran downstairs to do something with the damned elf.  Hilarious.

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On 12/13/2017 at 9:33 PM, /dev/null said:

Watched some of the Oak Island show and noticed the two guys are named Rick and Marty.  At which point every "dramatic" moment in the episode made me want to scream Wubbalubbadubdub!

 

Did the voice over guy say something like:

 

"What mysteries could lie beneath the beam? Ancient Alien theorists say dildos circa 1705"

 

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9 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

Here’s a random thought.  Are there “black” band-aids?  I mean, like for African Americans....I’ve never seen one.

 

If so, do they have different shades?  Surely a dark African straight from Somalia would have different band-aid needs than a guy like Tiger Woods.  Right?

 

Mos' def.

 

7358203c1f773f65b879d58c61ff1995.500

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
On 12/16/2017 at 6:32 PM, RaoulDuke79 said:

Holy ****.....Dominos has carry out insurance on their pizza. Who does this?

Suckers 

On 12/22/2017 at 6:53 PM, RaoulDuke79 said:

Here's to 10 days off.....heyooooo. cheers mates :cheers:.....where the hell is the cheers emoji?

Lost in space.   :beer:

 

categories

emoticons

 

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5 hours ago, /dev/null said:

Waiting for an offer letter for over a week now.  Every time I see a new email come thru I'm wondering if that's gonna be the one I'm waiting for.

 

Whatchya selling?

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7 hours ago, /dev/null said:

Waiting for an offer letter for over a week now.  Every time I see a new email come thru I'm wondering if that's gonna be the one I'm waiting for.

Did they make a verbal offer yet?

7 hours ago, Gugny said:

Why is George Washington the only white Washington in American history?

 

Do you know why Washington is a popular black last name?

 

Many enslaved blacks who served in the war didn’t have last names.  Since Washington was our Leader in the Revolutionary War...his name was a popular choice to use.

 

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Couldn’t find the joke thread

 

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too,", says the duck.
"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sorry about that," ,says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.
"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road,", explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks.
Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
"I'm always looking for the next job,", says the duck. "Where is it?"
"At the circus,", says the barman.
"The circus?", repeats the duck.
"That's right,", replies the barman.
"The circus?", the duck asks again. "with the big tent?"
"Yeah," the barman replies.
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?", says the duck.
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . .........
"What the f**k would they want with a plasterer??!"

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