WhoTom Posted September 8, 2021 Share Posted September 8, 2021 40 minutes ago, Chandler#81 said: Hopefully not with a crescent wrench. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeGOATski Posted September 8, 2021 Share Posted September 8, 2021 5 hours ago, WhoTom said: Hopefully not with a crescent wrench. The jaws of life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chandler#81 Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg S Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 3 4 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwksilver Posted September 17, 2021 Share Posted September 17, 2021 On Friday, Pat McBryan agreed to meet all his coworkers for happy hour. Pat decided to stay at the bar and watch the Friday night college football game (while having 4 more boilermakers). Once the game ended after a double overtime. Pat decided that he was in no condition to drive, so he slept in his car. The next morning, he went to Denny’s for a hearty greasy breakfast to help combat the pounding in his head (and wouldn’t you know this Denny’s serves beer). After breakfast and 2 pints, it was almost 11 and he knew Notre Dame was on in less than an hour, so he headed to the same bar to watch the game. Somehow, he managed to stay and watch all the games through the Fresno St at Hawaii and closed the bar again. Still, stinking drunk he decided to sleep in his car yet again. Sunday morning, he leaves his car heading to the same Denny’s for breakfast and beer. Upon leaving Denny’s he notices St Peter’s Cathedral and goes inside. He then stumbles into a confessional. Father Kelly is on the other side of the confessional and hears the door close. He asks how long has it been since last confession? But he gets silence. He coughs a bit to get Pat’s attention. Nothing. Father Kelly starts knocking on the wood, “Hello anyone there?”. Pat awakens from the knocking and says, “don’t bother knockin buddy, there ain’t no f#$%ing toilet paper over here either”. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted September 17, 2021 Share Posted September 17, 2021 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted September 17, 2021 Share Posted September 17, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted September 19, 2021 Share Posted September 19, 2021 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinceThe70s Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 A week late but still funny: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridgewaycynic2013 Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 49 minutes ago, WhoTom said: Insightful...and inciteful. 🤔 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 8 hours ago, Ridgewaycynic2013 said: Insightful...and inciteful. 🤔 There’s a little Justin Trudeau in there, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrW Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 1 hour ago, ChevyVanMiller said: There’s a little Justin Trudeau in there, too. One thing Short and Allen (and Trudeau) are missing is Osteen's halo-like hairstyle. I do not think that this is unintentional. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridgewaycynic2013 Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 11 hours ago, DrW said: One thing Short and Allen (and Trudeau) are missing is Osteen's halo-like hairstyle. I do not think that this is unintentional. Perhaps the 'Almighty God' can arrange a few lightning bolts to fluff up Osteen's coiffure. 🤨 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Avenger Posted September 21, 2021 Share Posted September 21, 2021 14 hours ago, DrW said: One thing Short and Allen (and Trudeau) are missing is Osteen's halo-like hairstyle. I do not think that this is unintentional. That's where Liberace comes in... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted September 22, 2021 Share Posted September 22, 2021 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwksilver Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 (edited) What's better than two roses on your piano? Two lips on your organ... Edited September 24, 2021 by qwksilver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 2 hours ago, qwksilver said: Two lips on your organ... I think that's supposed to be "tulips" 1 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwksilver Posted September 25, 2021 Share Posted September 25, 2021 13 hours ago, Simon said: I think that's supposed to be "tulips" Yes but by version is waaaayyyy better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdabillsfan Posted September 26, 2021 Share Posted September 26, 2021 A young American businessman is in Japan on his 1st overseas trip to close a deal with his Japaneese counterpart. The next day the deal would be consummated over 18 holes of golf. He was so confident that everything would go well, he decided he would indulge himself at the Geisha house the night before. He found himself with the most beautiful girl, except she did not speak any English. As he engaged with her in *****, he could hear her softly moan and say hi shu, hi shu over and over again. He was very satisfied with his performance, and thought to himself that he must of been phenomenal with this girl for her to cheer him on like that. The next day on the golf course, when he was golfing with his counterpart, the Japaneese man teed off and hit a great shot, it was a hole in one. Wanting to impress his counterpart with the new found phrase he learned the night before, he excitedly exclaimed hi shu, hi shu. At that point the Japaneese man turned to him and said "what you mean wrong hole" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Duffy Posted September 26, 2021 Share Posted September 26, 2021 2 blonde girls car breaks down. So have to make a long walk to get to town. While walking a while they see a large field that has an abandoned row boat near the tree line. One says to other..."hey, if we get in that boat we can get to town faster"....Other blonde responds..."You stupid ass b*t*h....If you think I'm gona swim all the way through that field".... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdabillsfan Posted September 26, 2021 Share Posted September 26, 2021 A young and very religious couple were on their honeymoon, and we're ready to engage in sex, but both of them were too embarrassed to be so blunt, and decided to say they were going to do the laundry. Unfortunately, they had an argument right before, and the bride stormed out of the room. After a few minutes she was ready to make up, and came in the room and asked her husband if he was ready to do the laundry, when he replied no thanks I already did it by hand. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdabillsfan Posted September 26, 2021 Share Posted September 26, 2021 Channeling Henney Youngman: A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says whatta you have. The giraffe says a long neck. The bartender says I know but what are you drinking. I live in a terrible neighborhood, the other day I saw two peanuts walking down the street, one was a salted. A man goes in a restaurant and asks the host is the steak tender here. The host says yes and seats the man at a table A termite comes in and asks the host is the bar tender here. A horse comes into a bar. The bartender says hey fella why the long face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted September 30, 2021 Share Posted September 30, 2021 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted October 2, 2021 Share Posted October 2, 2021 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted October 4, 2021 Share Posted October 4, 2021 Your local tax dollars hard at work... 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted October 4, 2021 Share Posted October 4, 2021 On 10/2/2021 at 7:32 AM, ChevyVanMiller said: back to back laughs- thank you sir! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted October 4, 2021 Share Posted October 4, 2021 57 minutes ago, ChevyVanMiller said: Your local tax dollars hard at work... "They'll need it to get around this sign." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg S Posted October 7, 2021 Share Posted October 7, 2021 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warcodered Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg S Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hapless Bills Fan Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoTom Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 14 hours ago, Hapless Bills Fan said: That reminds me of a time when we were on an interstate on-ramp and the car in the right lane refused to move over, even though there was nobody in the left lane nearby. I had to brake to get in behind her, and that's when we noticed a WWJD sticker on the back. My wife muttered, "Jesus would have let us merge, you b****." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeGOATski Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 1 minute ago, WhoTom said: That reminds me of a time when we were on an interstate on-ramp and the car in the right lane refused to move over, even though there was nobody in the left lane nearby. I had to brake to get in behind her, and that's when we noticed a WWJD sticker on the back. My wife muttered, "Jesus would have let us merge, you b****." My FIL is one of those. He thinks you need to stay in the right lane at all times. He doesn't go 1 mph over the speed limit, usually slower, and happily clogs the merging lane. I try not to ever drive with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg S Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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