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A Quick Laugh to Get By


Foxx

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George Bernard Shaw

Note to Winston Churchill

I am sending you 2 tickets to my opening night performance. Bring a friend if you have one.

Churchill to Shaw

Sorry I am unable to attend opening night but will attend second performance, if there is one

 

Groucho

I've have had a perfectly wonderful evening,  but I am afraid this wasn't it.

 

Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness where ever they go, others whenever they go.

 

 

 

 

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I had a rose named after me and I was flattered until I read the description. 

No good in bed but fine against the wall.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

The secret of a good sermon is a good beginning and good ending and have the two be as close as possible.

 

George Burns

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So a man is on his way home from work and he stops to buy a bouquet of roses for his lovely wife.

 

He walks in the door and hands the flowers over to his bride with a big smile on his face.

 

Snidely, his wife says “Great, now I guess I have to spread my legs.”

 

The man replies “Don’t you have a vase or something?”

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