NoSaint Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Pooj, you're in a lose-lose situation. Choose to lose the least. As tempting as it appears to be to interject yourself more directly into the situation, the potential for losing big is great if you do so. Not only can your boss screw you, but your Grand boss can too. He might be a ****, but it's not your job to make him a better person. Peace. yea its no good -- even if you do what you feel is the moral thing, she might not welcome the feedback. just something to keep in mind. if the husband found out, you might lose both the job and a friend. when put in a situation where she might feel she has to choose between her husband, childrens father, house and life they have together.... its very hard to walk away even if you know something is going on. odds are she already knows, and truly you arent bringing anything new to the table from what was shared. nothing to gain but your own peace of mind, everything to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 He's said numorus time he's going to keep his mouth shut. Damn. I'VE GOTTA BE HEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 He's said numorus time he's going to keep his mouth shut. Damn. I'VE GOTTA BE HEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! jeeeze -- didnt mean to offend. was just adding my 2 cents... nothing big. and from my experience when the head and heart battle, even when you say the head has won, a few affirmations as to why help you stick to that decision. i promise at some point since the post saying "yea i wont do it" he has thought twice. its only natural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 jeeeze -- didnt mean to offend. was just adding my 2 cents... nothing big. and from my experience when the head and heart battle, even when you say the head has won, a few affirmations as to why help you stick to that decision. i promise at some point since the post saying "yea i wont do it" he has thought twice. its only natural. No biggie, just sayin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 shiv the mofo an option?? BTW, am i the only one who buys his explanation? Sound feasible to me, may have had to do something similiar for my own 22 year old smoking hot nanny a few times when she was in the exact situation I actually buy it. If he were having an affair, would he really put the hotel charge on his credit card? Of course, he might just be that stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Its best not to get involved furthur than being supportive...you dont know anything..you suspect things and if your wrong it could turn bad for you real quick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Pooj, I'm almost positive there is a movie in theaters right now about your exact situation....go see it, and if the outcome is positive then just do whatever they did Solution! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordio Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Man, I got to hire a nanny for my house. I do not care if I have to get a paper route on the weekends to afford it. It sounds like it is well worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Man, I got to hire a nanny for my house. I do not care if I have to get a paper route on the weekends to afford it. It sounds like it is well worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 In this economy, your job is more important than your friendship. Not that you saying nothing and him cheating on her will kill your friendship with her. I'd just tell her "you were there, trust your instincts" and leave it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Man, I got to hire a nanny for my house. I do not care if I have to get a paper route on the weekends to afford it. It sounds like it is well worth it. Me to and I don't even have kids. Would that raise suspicions? There was a TV show on years ago about a nanny and that was one smoking hot babe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbb Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 One of my friend's friends started banging the hot nanny or babysitter or whatever she is when she was something like 17 and he was 38 or so.......Now, they're married......My friends are all like "My wife would never get a hot babysitter!".......I said I'm going to get one (and, like you said, I don't even have kids) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Blizzard Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Stay out of it. NEVER get involved with others marital problems in any way shape or form. Amen - if she bought the husband's excuse, she doesn't want to hear or believe the truth. Not much you can do, other than to stay out of the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I wonder what They would do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 There was a TV show on years ago about a nanny and that was one smoking hot babe. This one? or this one? or this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 i may get crucified for this...but fran drescher was sooooo smoking hot....i still watch the nanny on nick at nite....what a friggin body on her.....she was awesome in spinal tap as well...which she reprised the role in at least one episode of the nanny.... This one? or this one? or this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 i may get crucified for this...but fran drescher was sooooo smoking hot....i still watch the nanny on nick at nite....what a friggin body on her.....she was awesome in spinal tap as well...which she reprised the role in at least one episode of the nanny.... She was hot. When she wasn't talking that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 This one? or this one? or this one? # 2. Irritating fake NYC accent, but real hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 (edited) a work holiday party(one where spouses and dates weren't invited) You have a strange office. Edited January 29, 2011 by \GoBillsInDallas/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 You have a strange office. Where I work is like that also. I figure it's just because they pay for everything (food/drinks/rides if needed) that if spouses/so were invited, that would double their party cost. And trust me, they don't skimp on the costs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 we had already had an entire company party(@3,000 people locally)where spouses and sig others were invited...this was for our little agency part of the company and budget constraints forced them to exclude anyone but employees....we are talking a few hundred employees...not 30-40 people..... You have a strange office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 anyone remember this topic???? anyone remember the opening scene in Old School? Played out almost exactly on thursday morning....my friend still suspected things were going on, she unlocked one of the side doors that was seldom used, went out of town for 2 days on business...changed her original flight to a red eye... got home, both 'husband' and au pair were in showers, seperately...she went into the bedroom sat on the bed and noticed both sides of the bed were warm.... au pair walks into the bedroom, something she never does without knocking first, sees Allison...mumbles something and scurries out. 'husband' walks out of the shower, sees allison and nearly has a heart attack... begins denying things and allison starts to believe them(even so far as to say that the ky bottle must have been the baby grabbed it..., til she realizes, its not the bottle of KY she normally has...TMI) She moves the pillow and there are the au pairs earrings and hair clip....the 'husband' is busted and confesses to an on going relationship.... Allison kicks the au pair out with her belongings and calls the au pair company to come and get her...she is back in panama this morning... Sadly, I am the only one Allison has told the story to so I cannot talk about it to anyone she and I know....I want so badly for my ex director, 'the husband's' boss to find out because even though he and the 'husband' are best 'friends', he is super protective of allison and has often threatened to cut his junk off if he ever does something like this to her.... I am soooooo glad to be out of that work environment, but I would love to see him squirm because he is such a terrible person, and this is fate shining down...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 So the hubby got 6 more months of banging the hot nanny. Not bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 based on the reaction i am getting from my friend allison...he may get a lifetime free pass of banging whomever he wants...much like everyone here pointed out originally...she is in complete denial, hasn't even kicked him out for the past couple days...worse yet...they went to the beach because she felt that would help her clear her head and continue to ask questions...right now the outcome is this diminutive 22 year old panamanian chick was completely controlling, manipulative and even able to 'take care' of the wife if need be....the poor husband has been helpless during all this....makes me sick, but she needs an ally right now, so I listen and offer gentle advice....sometimes being a friend sucks.... looking back on it...i could have/should have banged the au pair, but now knowing for sure that that piece of **** was touching her, I am glad i refrained..... So the hubby got 6 more months of banging the hot nanny. Not bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 based on the reaction i am getting from my friend allison...he may get a lifetime free pass of banging whomever he wants...much like everyone here pointed out originally...she is in complete denial, hasn't even kicked him out for the past couple days...worse yet...they went to the beach because she felt that would help her clear her head and continue to ask questions...right now the outcome is this diminutive 22 year old panamanian chick was completely controlling, manipulative and even able to 'take care' of the wife if need be....the poor husband has been helpless during all this....makes me sick, but she needs an ally right now, so I listen and offer gentle advice....sometimes being a friend sucks.... looking back on it...i could have/should have banged the au pair, but now knowing for sure that that piece of **** was touching her, I am glad i refrained..... Some guys marry women they can control rather than ones they respect. Sometimes I'm jealous of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 (edited) that is his M.O. to a 'T'...he tries to control everyone, and respects no one. Working for him was the most miserable time of my life...i almost would have preferred staying unemployed for that year looking back on it(of course that is a bit of an exaggeration....) and I am not jealous of that type of person because that is not a trait I would want to possess...(and I know you were also exaggerating with that statement) Some guys marry women they can control rather than ones they respect. Sometimes I'm jealous of them. Edited July 2, 2011 by The Poojer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 How would I handle the situation? First, the au pair sounds slutty so I'd try to get a piece for myself (assuming she's attractive) Second, I'd post pics for my TSW buds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 that is his M.O. to a 'T'...he tries to control everyone, and respects no one. Working for him was the most miserable time of my life...i almost would have preferred staying unemployed for that year looking back on it(of course that is a bit of an exaggeration....) and I am not jealous of that type of person because that is not a trait I would want to possess...(and I know you were also exaggerating with that statement) So when are you going to nail the wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UConn James Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 If the dude didn't get straight after the initial close call, then tried to flit away whatever excuses he could when he got caught in the act until it was game-set-match, he doesn't show the signs of ever stopping. If she doesn't realize he's a !@#$ing liar, if she believes he will now get straight, if she's so confident that the maid's the only one he's schtooping, if she's so damn confident that he won't be giving her an STD, if she doesn't realize that this pattern only escalates, if she doesn't realize that maybe she's got a self-punishment neurosis herself (did her father/mother cheat?)... then it looks like she's going to be stuck in this pattern. And maybe she wants to be stuck in this pattern. She may now feel like she "has hand" in the relationship, but telling by the guy's behavior, he'll do anything to get that hand back, or just cut off that hand. Make no mistake, there's a lot of risk in that relationship right now. You can only hope that it doesn't turn into one of those stories where the lover or husband kills the wife to get her out of the way and avoid a costly divorce/alimony agreement that might cramp the cheaters' style. It happens every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 So when are you going to nail the wife? Fair question. No disrespect intended, Pooj, but it seems like you have a pretty big thing for this gal. More than just a friend. But I echo what others have said on here -- stay as far removed from this situation as you can ... ESPECIALLY if you have feelings for this broad. It will end very, very badly for you. I know that sounds heartless, but it's true. There are some sinking ships you can't save and getting romantic feelings mixed into someone else's marriage when the other spouse is cheating is a recipe for disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 (edited) Fair question. No disrespect intended, Pooj, but it seems like you have a pretty big thing for this gal. More than just a friend. But I echo what others have said on here -- stay as far removed from this situation as you can ... ESPECIALLY if you have feelings for this broad. It will end very, very badly for you. I know that sounds heartless, but it's true. There are some sinking ships you can't save and getting romantic feelings mixed into someone else's marriage when the other spouse is cheating is a recipe for disaster. agreed. on all fronts. though you might admire her, or enjoy her company, or whatever it may be.... it seems like its no more healthy for you to be her friend right now than it is her to be with her husband. there is literally nothing good that can come from being close with her right now. it seems she is, like it or not, ok with the situation. regardless of what she is saying to you, she is clearly giving him something very different. staying around this couple likely ends with them still together and something bad coming your way. Edited July 2, 2011 by NoSaint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Understand your concerns, and 100% honesty, we are just good friends. We were cube neighbors at circuit city and became very good friends. Cant say as a romantic involvement ever really was any real thought...just friends. Fair question. No disrespect intended, Pooj, but it seems like you have a pretty big thing for this gal. More than just a friend. But I echo what others have said on here -- stay as far removed from this situation as you can ... ESPECIALLY if you have feelings for this broad. It will end very, very badly for you. I know that sounds heartless, but it's true. There are some sinking ships you can't save and getting romantic feelings mixed into someone else's marriage when the other spouse is cheating is a recipe for disaster. Because of the fact that I worked for the husband and saw what kind of person he was, I distanced myself big time from social interaction. The only interaction I had was a couple evenings out with the au pair because we both had a lot of disdain( or so I thought) with the husband figure. I always suspected he was bouncing her, but still, she seemed to need to vent...as did I agreed. on all fronts. though you might admire her, or enjoy her company, or whatever it may be.... it seems like its no more healthy for you to be her friend right now than it is her to be with her husband. there is literally nothing good that can come from being close with her right now. it seems she is, like it or not, ok with the situation. regardless of what she is saying to you, she is clearly giving him something very different. staying around this couple likely ends with them still together and something bad coming your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) i'll revert to an old joke... go make it with a disease ridden prostitute, sleep with au pair, who will then give it to the husband who is the guy who ran over your bike cheated on his wife who now will have aids. problem fixed. Edited July 3, 2011 by jboyst62 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 anyone remember this topic???? anyone remember the opening scene in Old School? Played out almost exactly on thursday morning....my friend still suspected things were going on, she unlocked one of the side doors that was seldom used, went out of town for 2 days on business...changed her original flight to a red eye... got home, both 'husband' and au pair were in showers, seperately...she went into the bedroom sat on the bed and noticed both sides of the bed were warm.... au pair walks into the bedroom, something she never does without knocking first, sees Allison...mumbles something and scurries out. 'husband' walks out of the shower, sees allison and nearly has a heart attack... begins denying things and allison starts to believe them(even so far as to say that the ky bottle must have been the baby grabbed it..., til she realizes, its not the bottle of KY she normally has...TMI) She moves the pillow and there are the au pairs earrings and hair clip....the 'husband' is busted and confesses to an on going relationship.... Allison kicks the au pair out with her belongings and calls the au pair company to come and get her...she is back in panama this morning... Sadly, I am the only one Allison has told the story to so I cannot talk about it to anyone she and I know....I want so badly for my ex director, 'the husband's' boss to find out because even though he and the 'husband' are best 'friends', he is super protective of allison and has often threatened to cut his junk off if he ever does something like this to her.... I am soooooo glad to be out of that work environment, but I would love to see him squirm because he is such a terrible person, and this is fate shining down...... Reads like a scene from Mr. Mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Get some and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Christ Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Dude you are strung on this girl its bad......seriously.....bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 If I am, it is completely sub-consciously....I swear, we are very very very good friends...I have never thought of her in a romantic way...never...part of what may lead people to think I have something for her is my perceived disdain for her 'husband'....I promise you, I am not alone in this feeling towards him..he may be the most disliked person in my former company. He is a bad person, he has no respect for others. I promise you, my dislike for him stems more from him mis-treating my friend...but I cannot state more emphatically that I do NOT have romantic feelings for her. I know I am not gonna convince anyone, but I stand by what I am saying... Dude you are strung on this girl its bad......seriously.....bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim in Anchorage Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 If I am, it is completely sub-consciously....I swear, we are very very very good friends...I have never thought of her in a romantic way...never...part of what may lead people to think I have something for her is my perceived disdain for her 'husband'....I promise you, I am not alone in this feeling towards him..he may be the most disliked person in my former company. He is a bad person, he has no respect for others. I promise you, my dislike for him stems more from him mis-treating my friend...but I cannot state more emphatically that I do NOT have romantic feelings for her. I know I am not gonna convince anyone, but I stand by what I am saying... Like you'd be this concerned about a dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 actually i did have a male friend go through his own situation of his wife(another dear friend of mine) cheating on him, and I absolutely did show a lot of concern for him...probably not to this extent....the level of dislike I have for this dude is pretty high...since day 1 at my old job, it was miserable just being around him, and there are others that were left in his wake that feel the same way...in fact, i work with one such at my new job... Like you'd be this concerned about a dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 What happened to the red head? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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