Cripple Creek Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 1 minute ago, ExiledInIllinois said: Circle those wagons! What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow? 3 minutes ago, Augie said: A) Does that mean you pee in the pool? B) That will take him out of action for a week or so in any thread NOT about carp, hooks or bait. Does THAT count? A. Se 2. Minimum of one week, good call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 2 minutes ago, Cripple Creek said: What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow? A. Se 2. Minimum of one week, good call. It's only 3 days to Capistrano. Way under a week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 A lot of work to change a lightbulb... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuvian Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 I have questions too. Like what does putting crystal meth up your arse accomplish? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6735747/KTLA-Los-Angeles-TV-anchor-Chris-Burrous-died-meth-overdose-autopsy-reveals.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jauronimo Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, stuvian said: I have questions too. Like what does putting crystal meth up your arse accomplish? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6735747/KTLA-Los-Angeles-TV-anchor-Chris-Burrous-died-meth-overdose-autopsy-reveals.html Untimely death, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 We have cute little locks in Upstate NY. This one is a few miles from my house. Why get exiled just to work on a lock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Gray Beard said: We have cute little locks in Upstate NY. This one is a few miles from my house. Why get exiled just to work on a lock? That's minor league. So much bigger here. I worked @ Black Rock. It's year 'round work here, not seasonal... 3 times larger and 1,000 times more traffic. And I followed my wife out here. But... Not really exiled anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 5 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said: That's minor league. So much bigger here. I worked @ Black Rock. It's year 'round work here, not seasonal... 3 times larger and 1,000 times more traffic. And I followed my wife out here. But... Not really exiled anymore. That’s why I called it a cute little lock. Seasonal, and more of a novelty than a commercial necessity. I wonder if people could earn a decent living by working on those locks. I doubt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 2 hours ago, BringBackFergy said: Can anyone stump Exiled?? He has Lockopedia at his fingertips. Does anyone have a brain large enough to make Exiled pause and reflect (rather than type in search terms)? @DC Tom? @Jauronimo? Shoot, even @Degenerate Mike in HHDS For that matter. Can someone stump him? He has all the answers. Sure. What invention made the Assyrians the first superpower? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke79 Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Gray Beard said: A lot of work to change a lightbulb... Nope.... not for $5000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 9 minutes ago, DC Tom said: Sure. What invention made the Assyrians the first superpower? @ExiledInIllinois is frantically searching Carpopedia for answers. Judging by the delay, I think you stumped him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Gray Beard said: We have cute little locks in Upstate NY. This one is a few miles from my house. Why get exiled just to work on a lock? Do you not see what you’ve done??? 1 minute ago, BringBackFergy said: @ExiledInIllinois is frantically searching Carpopedia for answers. Judging by the delay, I think you stumped him. No.....I think he’s just messin’ with you. Wait. Wait. Wait.......then the GIANT DUMP! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 2 hours ago, mead107 said: Who came up with the word earth ? why not mead planet ? I apologize. I’m old enough to take credit for that, but we had not yet met, and I was without Mead Coin. I’ll do better next time. (For the right price.) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keukasmallies Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 9 hours ago, Nanker said: You body's smartest mussel is in your ass. It can tell the difference between solid, liquid, and gas. You're welcome So you're saying my ass knows when to clam up....? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, DC Tom said: Sure. What invention made the Assyrians the first superpower? Fire canon? Ancient version of the flamethrower. ??? (Naptha fueled) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 minute ago, ExiledInIllinois said: Fire canon? Ancient version of the flamethrower. ??? On a semi-related note, why is my dog startled every time she farts? I mean, I get why she runs away. I was in the grocery store today.....when I rapidly moved to another aisle, and I don’t have a hyper-sensitive nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Gray Beard said: That’s why I called it a cute little lock. Seasonal, and more of a novelty than a commercial necessity. I wonder if people could earn a decent living by working on those locks. I doubt it. I assume... Erie Canal... Which is a State job. I was seasonal until they got made permanent in early 1990s. We just stay open. They used to furlough, then bring people back on over time! /smh Just recently... Numbers game, one FTE (Full-Time Employee), the NFG is seasonal until a newer guy comes in. But, that NFG is never furloughed. First few years as hydrographic surveyor with Corps, we were furloughed... I Worked as Ski Instructor @ KB. 59 minutes ago, BringBackFergy said: @ExiledInIllinois is frantically searching Carpopedia for answers. Judging by the delay, I think you stumped him. Geesh... I was out to dinner with family... LoL... Anybody know what the sharpest thing in the world is? Okay... All You Brainiacs, step up to the plate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 8 minutes ago, Augie said: On a semi-related note, why is my dog startled every time she farts? I mean, I get why she runs away. I was in the grocery store today.....when I rapidly moved to another aisle, and I don’t have a hyper-sensitive nose. I wouldn't want my anal glands squeezed either! Unless it's by a Bob Kraft hooker, then that's another story! Throw a Trump hooker in there too for good measure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) 4 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said: I wouldn't want my anal glands squeezed either! Unless it's by a Bob Kraft hooker, then that's another story! Throw a Trump hooker in there too for good measure. Ummmm....for the record, I was NOT volunteering! . Edited February 23, 2019 by Augie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, ExiledInIllinois said: I assume... Erie Canal... Which is a State job. I was seasonal until they got made permanent in early 1990s. We just stay open. They used to furlough, then bring people back on over time! /smh Just recently... Numbers game, one FTE (Full-Time Employee), the NFG is seasonal until a newer guy comes in. But, that NFG is never furloughed. First few years as hydrographic surveyor with Corps, we were furloughed... I Worked as Ski Instructor @ KB. Geesh... I was out to dinner with family... LoL... Anybody know what the sharpest thing in the world is? Okay... All You Brainiacs, step up to the plate! A fart. It can cut through your pants without even making a hole. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, ExiledInIllinois said: Fire canon? Ancient version of the flamethrower. ??? (Naptha fueled) Hobnail boots. Footwear up to that point was sandals or moccasin-style shoes. Soft-soled. The Assyrians introduced hard-soled boots, reinforced with iron, so could march farther, faster. Basically, the Assyrians conquered the known world because they invented arch support. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 !@#$ the Assyrians and their arch supported flame throwers 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 20 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: A fart. It can cut through your pants without even making a hole. Winner!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 10 minutes ago, DC Tom said: Hobnail boots. Footwear up to that point was sandals or moccasin-style shoes. Soft-soled. The Assyrians introduced hard-soled boots, reinforced with iron, so could march farther, faster. Basically, the Assyrians conquered the known world because they invented arch support. At the rate Zappos delivers boxes to my fron door, I’m pretty sure my wife is after the Milky Way. For starters...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cripple Creek Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Augie said: At the rate Zappos delivers boxes to my fron door, I’m pretty sure my wife is after the Milky Way. For starters...... I've always been partial to Gummo, the forgotten Marx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 I just heard “Let it Be” by The Beatles tonight. There’s a line where McCartney sings “...and though they maybe farted, there is still a chance that they will see”. Can anyone explain the inspiration for this stanza? In the video, Yoko is sipping wine next to John on the floor. Maybe she let one rip? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Beard Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 A Zebra Mussel, a Northern Snakehead, and an Asian Carp tried to walk into a bar in Illinois, but they were locked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 12 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said: That's minor league. So much bigger here. So, size really does matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 Who decided February would only have 28 days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Gray Beard said: A Zebra Mussel, a Northern Snakehead, and an Asian Carp tried to walk into a bar in Illinois, but they were locked out. Not at @ExiledInIllinois‘s lock...he lets them through without a batting an eye. Too busy doing his Word Jumble. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 Exiledinillinois accepts tips as gatekeeper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 3 hours ago, mead107 said: Who decided February would only have 28 days? http://mentalfloss.com/article/55327/why-are-there-only-28-days-february Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 2 hours ago, mead107 said: Exiledinillinois accepts tips as gatekeeper? Under/=$20. That has been the acceptable Federally ethically amount for years. But that's change... Since 2016. There is a new sheriff in town with the Executive Branch. Honestly... The "New Swamp" threw those ethics out the window. I think it's much more than $20 bucks now gift and or cash... I want to say it's in the $100s? We used to take DoD "ethics training" every year. Come to think of it... Last time was around 2016. Strange. Farthest distance I every had a vessel come from was from Finland. A sailing vessel from Helsinki. That's pretty damn close to Russia... And I am looking to score a tip with these new "non-existant" ethic rules and amounts! If you get my drift! LoL... I might make bank... ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 3 hours ago, BuffaloBill said: So, size really does matter? YES! But sometimes it's the magic in it: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 @ExiledInIllinois can you explain why my johnson curves to my left and not to my right? Is this common? Does it depend on your “handedness?” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 1 minute ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: @ExiledInIllinois can you explain why my johnson curves to my left and not to my right? Is this common? Does it depend on your “handedness?” I am sorry... This is just a Bills board. You should seek professional help. You win! Stumped me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) On 2/22/2019 at 10:37 PM, DC Tom said: Hobnail boots. Footwear up to that point was sandals or moccasin-style shoes. Soft-soled. The Assyrians introduced hard-soled boots, reinforced with iron, so could march farther, faster. Basically, the Assyrians conquered the known world because they invented arch support. Weren't they also revolutionary siege engineers? Edited February 24, 2019 by Joe in Winslow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augie Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said: I am sorry... This is just a Bills board. You should seek professional help. You win! Stumped me. Ohh, don’t be a quitter! I think you should check it out at the next tailgate and give it your best guess. Not asking for a Kraft style happy ending or anything.....unless you’re in the mood. Edited February 24, 2019 by Augie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 5 minutes ago, Augie said: Ohh, don’t be a quitter! I think you should check it out at the next tailgate and give it your best guess. Not asking for a Kraft style happy ending or anything.....unless your in the mood. You nasty man... Very nasty man! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringBackFergy Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Joe in Winslow said: Weren't they also revolutionary siege engineers? My God man! The minute you introduced the term “engineers” you invited @ExiledInIllinois to go on a five paragraph diatribe about the Army Corps of Engineers and his service to this country. Keep it together man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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