Stump @ExiledinIllinois (f/k/a Can someone explain...)

[Gugny]

1 minute ago, Augie said:

 

When I walk her, the first two to three poops are ROCK hard. The last one is more loose. I apologize to the people who have tuned in here to my dogs pooping rituals.  I blame Exiled for dragging this out, but who’s NOT fascinated with such a topic? 

 

I think draining the anal glands is done similarly to how one would suck venom out of a snake bite.  Good luck!

[ExiledInIllinois]

Just now, Augie said:

 

When I walk her, the first two to three poops are ROCK hard. The last one is more loose. I apologize to the people who have tuned in here to my dogs pooping rituals.  I blame Exiled for dragging this out, but who’s NOT fascinated with such a topic? 

LoL... Sorry too...

 

Growing up we had dogs too, some with issues.  I guess it's fiber that creates wide loads.  That will aid in naturally expressing your dogs scent markers.

1 minute ago, Gugny said:

 

I think draining the anal glands is done similarly to how one would suck venom out of a snake bite.  Good luck!

This is just sick.  LoL... 

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

7 hours ago, Augie said:

Sunglasses during tennis makes it easier to see the ball.

I call BS.  You’re just looking to score a contract repping frames like Tyrod Taylor has (had?).

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

5 hours ago, BuffaloBill said:

Why is my wife always right?

 

4 hours ago, DC Tom said:

 

Because you're an idiot.

 

“That’s what she said”.

 

That was ‘low hanging fruit’.  Too easy.  My apologies.

[BringBackFergy]

6 hours ago, BuffaloBill said:

Why is my wife always right?

You caught her snickering at you in front of the mirror again huh?

4 hours ago, Augie said:

 

When I walk her, the first two to three poops are ROCK hard. The last one is more loose. I apologize to the people who have tuned in here to my dogs pooping rituals.  I blame Exiled for dragging this out, but who’s NOT fascinated with such a topic? 

Anal glands and @ExiledinIllinois go together like peas and carrots!!”  I knew he’d find the answer for you.

 

Sidenote: Thinking or changing this thread title to “Ask Exiled Anything” 

[/dev/null]

9 hours ago, BringBackFergy said:

This colloquialism originated right here at TBD when Limeaid decided the best way to get people to sit down in front of him at the stadium was to take a warm turd from the toilet bowl, wrap it in a napkin and smear it on the idiot’s seat in front of him. “He took his own dump” to the seat to teach that fool a lesson. True story.

 

At least he didn't Rosen the bathroom

[Nanker]

6 hours ago, Gugny said:

 

I think draining the anal glands is done similarly to how one would suck venom out of a snake bite.  Good luck!

 

[Keukasmallies]

17 hours ago, BringBackFergy said:

I have a lot of questions in life. Do you have any? There’s quite a few experts on this board. Maybe we can help each other. 

 

Can an someone explain what all those little pieces of lint are on the inside of my eyeballs when I close my eyes and look up into the sun? I’m a pretty clean person and shower every day. But when I look up in the sky and close my eyelids, there’s a bunch of lint and debris inside my eye sockets that floats around. I try to keep it in one place but it quickly zig zags across my field of vision. It’s maddening. Why do I have lint in my eyeballs?

 

 

They're bits of protein according to my optho-guy.

 

My question for the ages:  How do you know with certainty that it's OK to fart without risking a bowel movement?  Is it something that comes with experience, or is it genetic in nature? 

Edited February 22, 2019 by Keukasmallies

[The Senator]

9 hours ago, DC Tom said:

 

Because you're an idiot.

 

Next question.

 

.

[BringBackFergy]

16 minutes ago, Keukasmallies said:

 

They're bits of protein according to my optho-guy.

 

My question for the ages:  How do you know with certainty that it's OK to fart without risking a bowel movement?  Is it something that comes with experience, or is it genetic in nature? 

Trial and error my friend!

[The Senator]

20 minutes ago, Keukasmallies said:

 

My question for the ages:  How do you know with certainty that it's OK to fart without risking a bowel movement?  Is it something that comes with experience, or is it genetic in nature? 

 

.

[mead107]

Why is a female called a female, is there a fee to be woman and why is man used in wo-man? 

[DC Tom]

9 hours ago, Augie said:

My dog likes to scooch her butt along the road when we walk. You know....that little butt slide thing. Worse, she will also do it inside on an area rug, leaving some unfortunate skid marks. Apparently there is such a thing as draining a dogs anal glands. (I know, you’re upset that you got this far!) 

 

Can someone explain to me why the Vet office thought they would just teach me how to do this? I’m sorry, that’s what we have YOU guys for! 

 

Because they're idiots.

 

Next question.

[BringBackFergy]

Can someone explain the difference between DCTom and MCDot?

[Cripple Creek]

Why do my washer/dryer steal my socks?

[BringBackFergy]

2 minutes ago, Cripple Creek said:

Why do my washer/dryer steal my socks?

Nice deflection. Pretty sure we all know what you are using one sock from a pair on a daily basis. Don’t blame it on a machine. 

[Cripple Creek]

Why is it that a pair of TBDers always jet off to Jamaica at the same time? 

[SlimShady'sSpaceForce]

13 hours ago, BringBackFergy said:

The lint I’m seeing are not “floaters” as Marcus Welby in Illinois and Senator House are referring to....I’ve been seeing these lint pieces in my closed eyelids since I was a kid at the beach (when eyes are closed and looking toward the light you see the lint and it swims around until you keep our eyeballs still). So if you are applying medical principles to a 12 yr old kid having floaters I feel that our inland waters are at risk. 

 

Find me some real research damn it!!! 

Is this real life?

 

everyone has floaters

 

 

1 hour ago, mead107 said:

Why is a female called a female, is there a fee to be woman and why is man used in wo-man? 

Because when man first began to speak he was a HOT babe and said 

 

Woe Man !!!!! Check that b out 

[The Senator]

 

My dog punched me in the mouth yesterday, and I want to know why.  I love my dog, feed him twice a day, always let him lick my plate, and take outside whenever he tells me to, no matter what time, day or night.

 

He’s a good boy, and has been trying to apologize and make up, but I’m mad as hell.  He even cut my lip a little bit.

.

[BringBackFergy]

1 hour ago, The Senator said:

 

My dog punched me in the mouth yesterday, and I want to know why.  I love my dog, feed him twice a day, always let him lick my plate, and take outside whenever he tells me to, no matter what time, day or night.

 

He’s a good boy, and has been trying to apologize and make up, but I’m mad as hell.  He even cut my lip a little bit.

.

Perhaps he feels violated? 

[Nanker]

3 hours ago, Keukasmallies said:

 

They're bits of protein according to my optho-guy.

 

My question for the ages:  How do you know with certainty that it's OK to fart without risking a bowel movement?  Is it something that comes with experience, or is it genetic in nature? 

You body's smartest mussel is in your ass.

It can tell the difference between solid, liquid, and gas.

 

 

You're welcome.

 

 

20 hours ago, BringBackFergy said:

I have a lot of questions in life. Do you have any? There’s quite a few experts on this board. Maybe we can help each other. 

 

Can an someone explain what all those little pieces of lint are on the inside of my eyeballs when I close my eyes and look up into the sun? I’m a pretty clean person and shower every day. But when I look up in the sky and close my eyelids, there’s a bunch of lint and debris inside my eye sockets that floats around. I try to keep it in one place but it quickly zig zags across my field of vision. It’s maddening. Why do I have lint in my eyeballs?

 

I hate to break it to you Fergy. This is a well known and documented condition - at least to the Seventh Circle of Secret Initiates.

It has to do with your parents and the Tooth Fairy. You see, contrary to popular belief, the Tooth Fairy only visits children who put their pulled tooth under their pillow at night - IF the parents grease the palm of the little critter. Oh, he'll show up anyway. But if they haven't given him some gold, he gets pissed, doesn't leave the kid the quarter, and if the parents do it again, the vengeful little bastage lifts up the sleeping kid's eyelids and blows Fairy Lint under them. It's almost impossible to get rid of.

 

So, there ya go. Mystery solved. You can thank your stingy parents for screwing with the Fates and your eyesight for the rest of your life.

 

 

[Augie]

7 hours ago, Ridgewaycynic2013 said:

I call BS.  You’re just looking to score a contract repping frames like Tyrod Taylor has (had?).

Well, if you’re offering.....I’m all IN! 

[ExiledInIllinois]

 

Just take this...^^^  You want research.  You got it Buddy!

 

My eye doctor, He is NOT just a "glasses" doctor (Optician) BUT an Ophthalmologist, recommended Lutein a few years ago.  Optician vs. Optometrist vs. Ophthalmologist is like comparing an average Fed employee to a Lock & Dam Operator!  But, I digress.  Glaucoma does run in my family... My Father had glaucoma since His late 40s... Along with macular degeneration that progressed starting in his 60s.

 

Come to think of it... I don't have any noticeable floaters or flashes like I used to. Remember, eye floaters come in all shapes and sizes.

 

Also... @BringBackFergy probably doesn't want to hear this, but I am mentally sharp, can think* and I can see clearly now.  I know if carp are getting past me @ 100 paces away or see an all-you-can-eat Asian buffet from 1/2 mile, before most of the family... Even those eagle-eyed pesky children in the back-seat.  If it's a Benihana® or pho joint, I can see that from 3/4 of a mile.  I can read my NYT Crossword or Sudoku without the aid of ANY corrective lens.  Yet, it's NOT a wonder drug.  That small fishing boat/bassboat still has to ring the 85db buzzer and stay put, especially @ lunch time or during numerous "Executive Time" sessions.  I will keep a sharp eye out for them till they come into view.

 

Trust Me... Start taking this stuff.  You'll thank me when you start seeing and thinking* clearly AND Your trust fund skyrockets 622% in the right direction.**  I think, my writing is even getting better!  I notice better sentence structure, less run-on sentences, and a whole slew of literary and grammatical advances in my life that has nothing to do with My wife having a Master's in English from a BigTen® University that's purely a waste of money sending My Kid to another over-priced BigTen® institution for higher learning.

 

Trust the Lutein!©

 

You heard it first here! 10 buck magic in a bottle!  It solves so many physical, societal and cultural issues without the headaches!

 

Oh... I will just leave you all with a little, light, Adult EZ-Listening feel good music from a simpler time:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

**  Thinking clearly and exponentially growing stock funds have NOT been clinically proven, but many leading researchers think that taking this sh... Will improve your mental clarity, financial outlook, sentence structure and keep you sharp as a tack while guarding the Nation's waterways & economic lifelines. ~EiL, 2/22/2019, Not peer-reviewed.

[GoBills808]

@BringBackFergy I've often wondered about the difference between side and bottom paddles in certain locks with respect to culvert orientation. I doubt there's anyone here who could give a satisfactory explanation though.

[ExiledInIllinois]

Oh... And DON'T FORGET, a little sensimilla every third night does wonders for relieving that extra unwanted eye pressure!

 

Just... Ask @Johnny Hammersticks  & @Teddy KGB They basically invented that peer-reviewed study!

 

?

3 minutes ago, GoBills808 said:

@BringBackFergy I've often wondered about the difference between side and bottom paddles in certain locks with respect to culvert orientation. I doubt there's anyone here who could give a satisfactory explanation though.

Nice!!!  Man!  You've been studying Your IMTS (Inland Marine Transportation System) manuals!

 

You're on your way to earning that gold windlass to the Lockmaster's washroom!

 

Going places!

Edited February 22, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[ExiledInIllinois]

Oh... Just for posterity, we use vetical sluice gates for culvert and dam operation.

 

@GoBills808

 

But... As the pressure of the head increases past 5 feet that vertical system becomes extremely unpractical since all the pressure of the head is exerted on the sluice gate straight up. A different design is need with heads above 5 feet.  The stress on the mechanical delivery system too great.  Roller gates are one such example.  Water can be realeased above the gate and below the roller:

 

 

@GoBills808 Quick question, what kind of head are you looking at when you pose Your side & bottom paddles question?  What type of mechanical power system are You implying?  Human, animal, electrical or hyrdaulic power systems.

 

Remember.  5 feet head is about maximum lift that a human can power, even with mechanical advantage on crab driven systems... You will basically need a flight-lock system to lift/drop more than 5 feet.

 

You'll need this:

 

 

And this:

 

[BringBackFergy]

30 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Oh... Just for posterity, we use vetical sluice gates for culvert and dam operation.

 

@GoBills808

 

But... As the pressure of the head increases past 5 feet that vertical system becomes extremely unpractical since all the pressure of the head is exerted on the sluice gate straight up. A different design is need with heads above 5 feet.  The stress on the mechanical delivery system too great.  Roller gates are one such example.  Water can be realeased above the gate and below the roller:

 

 

@GoBills808 Quick question, what kind of head are you looking at when you pose Your side & bottom paddles question?  What type of mechanical power system are You implying?  Human, animal, electrical or hyrdaulic power systems.

 

Remember.  5 feet head is about maximum lift that a human can power, even with mechanical advantage on crab driven systems... You will basically need a flight-lock system to lift/drop more than 5 feet.

 

You'll need this:

 

 

And this:

 

I knew I should have changed the name of this thread!!!!

[ExiledInIllinois]

1 minute ago, BringBackFergy said:

I knew I should have changed the name of this thread!!!!

(I am) Telling you... Start popping that Lutein!  You'll see and think more clearly!

 

Sharp as a tack!

 

?

 

Oh... When shoveling... Smaller "bites" with shovel, albeit more... But,  you're heart will thank me!

[GoBills808]

53 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Oh... Just for posterity, we use vetical sluice gates for culvert and dam operation.

 

@GoBills808

 

But... As the pressure of the head increases past 5 feet that vertical system becomes extremely unpractical since all the pressure of the head is exerted on the sluice gate straight up. A different design is need with heads above 5 feet.  The stress on the mechanical delivery system too great.  Roller gates are one such example.  Water can be realeased above the gate and below the roller:

 

 

@GoBills808 Quick question, what kind of head are you looking at when you pose Your side & bottom paddles question?  What type of mechanical power system are You implying?  Human, animal, electrical or hyrdaulic power systems.

 

Remember.  5 feet head is about maximum lift that a human can power, even with mechanical advantage on crab driven systems... You will basically need a flight-lock system to lift/drop more than 5 feet.

 

You'll need this:

 

 

And this:

 

 

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

5 minutes ago, GoBills808 said:

 

 

You should really put one of those video game warnings on this.  But I am on Lutein.  I am like SuperMan!

 

Here... I will post it for the others:

 

Photosensitive seizure warning

Share  

A very small percentage of people may experience a seizure when exposed to certain visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear in video games. Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have an undiagnosed condition that can cause these “photosensitive epileptic seizures” while watching video games.

These seizures may have a variety of symptoms, including lightheadedness, altered vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation, confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or striking nearby objects.

Immediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these symptoms. Parents should watch for or ask their children about the above symptoms. Children and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures.

The risk of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by taking the following precautions:

• Play in a well-lit room
• Do not play if you are drowsy or fatigued

If you or any of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor before playing.

Edited February 22, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[BringBackFergy]

Here’s one for Exiled (which he can’t look up on Exiledpedia): Please explain why, if you bring a lake trout up to the surface too quick, they can die. 

[ExiledInIllinois]

38 minutes ago, BringBackFergy said:

Here’s one for Exiled (which he can’t look up on Exiledpedia): Please explain why, if you bring a lake trout up to the surface too quick, they can die. 

Gotta try better counsel... I am not that much of a dummy.  I dove.

 

Do they get the bends? Do they expell air from their swim bladders?  That's my stab in dark guess.  Lakers are a very deep swimming fish.  It has to do with pressure changes I would think.

 

I don't know.  Lake trout in Lake Michigan were wiped out by sea lamprey and pollution in the 1950s & 60's... We have introduced Northwest Pacific salmon now.  /smh.

 

Okay... I will look up to see if they get the bends.  Yep.  Lakers are a "ductless species."

 

https://www.outdoorcanada.ca/are-lake-trout-releasable/

 

"...Indeed, the best indication of all that lake trout can tolerate and readily adjust to pressure changes is when you spot the fish on your sonar screen scoot up from deep water and chase your lure to the surface.

This is not the case, however, with many other species – especially walleye and bass.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, every 28 feet of water depth represents approximately one atmosphere of pressure.  So, when you catch a walleye or bass in deep water, bring it to the surface and then hold it out of the water for even a brief period of time, the fish’s swim bladder expands like a balloon because of the reduced pressure.  It is comparable to a diver suffering from the “bends” when he or she comes to the surface too quickly and just like it is life threatening for humans, it can be deadly for walleye and bass as well.

In addition to the swim bladder and pressure problems, of course, there are additional factors you need to consider, including the rupturing and haemorrhaging of blood vessels and internal organs..."

 

 

[BringBackFergy]

1 minute ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Gotta try better counsel... I am not that much of a dummy.  I dove.

 

Do they get the bends? Do they expell air from their swim bladders?  That's my stab in dark guess.  Lakers are a very deep swimming fish.  It has to do with pressure changes I would think.

 

I don't know.  Lake trout in Lake Michigan were wiped out by sea lamprey and pollution in the 1950s & 60's... We have introduced Northwest Pacific salmon now.  /smh.

 

Okay... I will look up to see if they get the bends.  Yep.  Lakers are a "ductless species."

 

https://www.outdoorcanada.ca/are-lake-trout-releasable/

 

"...Indeed, the best indication of all that lake trout can tolerate and readily adjust to pressure changes is when you spot the fish on your sonar screen scoot up from deep water and chase your lure to the surface.

This is not the case, however, with many other species – especially walleye and bass.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, every 28 feet of water depth represents approximately one atmosphere of pressure.  So, when you catch a walleye or bass in deep water, bring it to the surface and then hold it out of the water for even a brief period of time, the fish’s swim bladder expands like a balloon because of the reduced pressure.  It is comparable to a diver suffering from the “bends” when he or she comes to the surface too quickly and just like it is life threatening for humans, it can be deadly for walleye and bass as well.

In addition to the swim bladder and pressure problems, of course, there are additional factors you need to consider, including the rupturing and haemorrhaging of blood vessels and internal organs..."

 

 

Swim bladder. Yes!!

[The Senator]

1 hour ago, GoBills808 said:

 

 

 

I am getting vertigo from staring at this

.

[ExiledInIllinois]

37 minutes ago, BringBackFergy said:

Swim bladder. Yes!!

I think it's one of the reasons lakers were especially hit hard by the sea lamprey.  The lamprey really effed with the swim bladders.  ???  More so than other species.  ???

Edited February 22, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[BringBackFergy]

Can anyone stump Exiled?? He has Lockopedia at his fingertips. Does anyone have a brain large enough to make Exiled pause and reflect (rather than type in search terms)?   @DC Tom?  @Jauronimo? Shoot, even @Degenerate Mike in HHDS For that matter. Can someone stump him? He has all the answers. 

[mead107]

Who came up with the word earth ? 

 

why not mead planet ? 

[Cripple Creek]

2 hours ago, BringBackFergy said:

Swim bladder. Yes!!

I use a swim bladder too!

23 minutes ago, BringBackFergy said:

Can anyone stump Exiled?? He has Lockopedia at his fingertips. Does anyone have a brain large enough to make Exiled pause and reflect (rather than type in search terms)?   @DC Tom?  @Jauronimo? Shoot, even @Degenerate Mike in HHDS For that matter. Can someone stump him? He has all the answers. 

Ask him one simple question about Asian carp, barbed hooks and bait. That one gets him every time. 

[Augie]

4 minutes ago, Cripple Creek said:

I use a swim bladder too!

Ask him one simple question about Asian carp, barbed hooks and bait. That one gets him every time. 

 

A) Does that mean you pee in the pool?

 

B) That will take him out of action for a week or so in any thread NOT about carp, hooks or bait. Does THAT count? 

[ExiledInIllinois]

30 minutes ago, BringBackFergy said:

Can anyone stump Exiled?? He has Lockopedia at his fingertips. Does anyone have a brain large enough to make Exiled pause and reflect (rather than type in search terms)?   @DC Tom?  @Jauronimo? Shoot, even @Degenerate Mike in HHDS For that matter. Can someone stump him? He has all the answers. 

Circle those wagons!