Simon Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 My wife keeps buying all that MacKenzie-Childs stuff. The checkered pattern. We have a chair that no one sits on, all the platters and serving bowls, picture frames, a wall clock, a coffee canister, a dog water/food bowl and a mat to go underneath...... The checkers are everywhere. Sounds like a Tom Petty video; you should have Tom over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 Did you manage to finally evict the junkies who were squatting in there? Shower boy has been dead for over a year now, and the pro snowboarder sold the house and moved out to Cali to work on an organic farm. Now, our new neighbors are cross-fit instructors who lift weights in their front yard, and climb up and down ropes hanging from their tree. I can't decide which is worse...heroin addicts or cross-fit people. Sounds like a Tom Petty video; you should have Tom over Petty's wife is obsessed with MC stuff? Small world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDD Posted December 15, 2016 Share Posted December 15, 2016 Oh ****. You're not my wife are you? No, just highly OCD like her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted December 15, 2016 Author Share Posted December 15, 2016 No, just highly OCD like her. Funny, I'm a clinical psychologist and I have diagnosed her with female according to DSM-V criteria. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 Funny, I'm a clinical psychologist and I have diagnosed her with female according to DSM-V criteria. which is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zevo Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 Leaving every light on in the house....irks the **** out of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 which is? Incurable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted December 16, 2016 Share Posted December 16, 2016 which is? You learn in a few years, when you take health class in high school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 Incurable You learn in a few years, when you take health class in high school. Then I will teach it to you when your ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 When I'm being nice and texting the fiancé that I've landed, and she replies with question after question. Woman, can't you wait 30 minutes till I'm home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 When I'm being nice and texting the fiancé that I've landed, and she replies with question after question. Woman, can't you wait 30 minutes till I'm home? I'm with you on this one. Drives me insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 This is one for pretty much everyone in my family.... My schedule driving to work and coming home is pretty set (if someone wanted to assasinate me it would be pretty easy) THey know I dont like to talk or text on my phone while im driving STOP trying to ask to do things or ask questions during that time P.L.E.A.S.E. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 This is one for pretty much everyone in my family.... My schedule driving to work and coming home is pretty set (if someone wanted to assasinate me it would be pretty easy) THey know I dont like to talk or text on my phone while im driving STOP trying to ask to do things or ask questions during that time P.L.E.A.S.E. Simple solution. Put your phone on auto DND during those times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iinii Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 So now you are one piece shy on your twice as tall Jenga set up, right?That has to be a blast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Whenever we go somewhere, (Mall, Groceries, Home Depot) she will always insist that I lock the car because she leaves her pocketbook inside. I don't know why she brings it if she isn't planning on taking it into the store, I assume she just wants to let it get out of the house and go see the sights. But then as we get out of the car, I am trained to "LOCK THE DOORS", the problem is, after I pull into the space, I actually get out of the car and walk to the store, my lovely wife on the other hand, now chooses to linger in the car, checking her makeup, or saying goodbye to the radio, maybe checking for spare change in the seat cushions, God knows what she is doing, but the result is I cannot LOCK THE DOORS when she has the door open (some safety feature). I just don't get why it takes 3 minutes to exit a car. She knows we are going to leave the vehicle once we pull into the parking lot, maybe thats the point she can gather her stray cushion change, root through her abandoned pocketbook for that stale piece of gum, say goodbye to the radio, whatever she needs to do, just get going so we can get into the store and get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 When I'm being nice and texting the fiancé that I've landed, and she replies with question after question. Woman, can't you wait 30 minutes till I'm home? Mine is a bit of a flip on that My wife travels maybe 3 nights a month..so not a ton. But when she goes, she sits on the plane, gets bored, and starts texting "honey do's" like it is going out of style. Also, she just cannot get herself to put the butter away in the butter compartment of the fridge. I am fussy about my butter, only buy brands that come in foil now as to avoid picking up off flavours from the fridge.......is it really that hard to move your arm 2 feet to the left and open up that little door?/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrader Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) Every single time my wife asks me a question, she has already assigned an answer to that question in her mind. She will then follow up with that assumed answer even though it wasn't my actual response. It'll go something like this: Wife: Did you stop at the store? Me: No. Wife: What did you buy? Me: I said no. The best is when my answer and the answer she heard sound completely different, something like: Wife: What color was it? Me: Orange Wife: Purple? Me: That doesn't sound anything like what I said Her other big thing, and it happens at least once a day, is when her phone rings (usually her mother). She'll see who it is and say "I really don't want to talk to you right now". She then proceeds to answer the phone every single time. She's then frustrated and ranting about the conversation after it's over. I keep telling her she doesn't have to pick up every damn time but she completely blows off the suggestion. Edited January 17, 2017 by shrader Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullpen Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Mrs. Bullpen is THE worst driver. No fore thought to where she is going or the route she is going to take to get anywhere. We'll be driving a restaurant less than three miles from our house and she'll ask, "do I turn here?" WE JUST CAME HERE LAST MONTH! DO YOU REMEMBER DRIVING ROUTES OR DO YOU JUST USE THE FORCE TO DRIVE? Or she takes what I like to call "anti-terrorism paths somewhere" where she will take a completely different route somewhere than one she took two days ago. This is because she doesn't pay attention to where she is when she's driving or riding in a car. "How do we get to Mo's house, do we turn here?" "We've known Mo to live in this house for five years?!?! Her braking and accelerating habits probably milk about 10K miles off ever car she owns. I swear every time, she hears a knock or ping in the car, she'll point it out to me and I'll ask, have you taken it in? The answer is always no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbb Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Every single time my wife asks me a question, she has already assigned an answer to that question in her mind. She will then follow up with that assumed answer even though it wasn't my actual response. It'll go something like this: Wife: Did you stop at the store? Me: No. Wife: What did you buy? Me: I said no. The best is when my answer and the answer she heard sound completely different, something like: Wife: What color was it? Me: Orange Wife: Purple? Me: That doesn't sound anything like what I said Is she a member of the media? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Mrs. Bullpen is THE worst driver. No fore thought to where she is going or the route she is going to take to get anywhere. We'll be driving a restaurant less than three miles from our house and she'll ask, "do I turn here?" WE JUST CAME HERE LAST MONTH! DO YOU REMEMBER DRIVING ROUTES OR DO YOU JUST USE THE FORCE TO DRIVE? Or she takes what I like to call "anti-terrorism paths somewhere" where she will take a completely different route somewhere than one she took two days ago. This is because she doesn't pay attention to where she is when she's driving or riding in a car. "How do we get to Mo's house, do we turn here?" "We've known Mo to live in this house for five years?!?! Her braking and accelerating habits probably milk about 10K miles off ever car she owns. I swear every time, she hears a knock or ping in the car, she'll point it out to me and I'll ask, have you taken it in? The answer is always no. My wife is a great driver...as long as she doesn't have to go in reverse. She has no idea how to use her mirrors, and does not turn around to check her blind spots. In 2016 alone, she hit my Father's brand new truck twice, and my car once (all while backing out of the driveway). My Father didn't want to report it to his insurance, so I had to pay him a total of 1300 out of pocket. Her most recent crash into my car cost me 1000 in deductibles. I'm amazed, frankly, that she was able to earn her driver's license. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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