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I truly feel horrible for Ryan Fitzpatrick.


FireChan

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The guy takes every loss to heart every week, especially because our offense coordinator literally kills him with the play calls. Put Fitz on the 49ers this year and they have the exact same record, with maybe one more loss.

 

The guy says he wants Spiller and Fred to get the ball more, and yet, Chan calls the 5 wide 50% of the time. I know you all are gonna say he sucks and should feel bad, but he doesn't need to be put in a situation to suck. You let him throw after we've gotten 20 yards on a run, and 9 out of 10 times he'll complete it. 9 out of 10 times the screen works.

 

Even his deep ball was looking 50-50 against the Dolphins and Colts (without the PI calls in the Dolphins games they looked like they were catchable.

 

I don't expect a lot from Fitz but every game he has some great plays until Chan decides to put it all in his hands. Then he blows it trying to force something after his 6th consecutive pass play with 5 minutes to go, and suddenly he's all to blame.

 

I truly believe the issue is a confidence and pressure thing. I know you'll all say if he can't handle the pressure, he shouldn't be our QB, which I understand. But seriously, if there's not gonna be a QB change mid-season (nor would I want one), setting Fitz up to blow every game is a tremendous shame and I feel for the guy. Everyone on the team seems to understand that he shouldn't be throwing so much, yet all of his confidence and momentum goes out the window when he makes a bad play after 6 good ones. If we didn't ride the guy so much, I think he'd be 100% better.

 

We don't have Aaron Rodgers and we shouldn't let our QB be pounded because he isn't Rodgers. He deserves better than that from our coaches and fans.

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Well why doesn't he just say f u chan and audible into the plays he wants to

 

Because that's divisive. You can't undermine the coach, he's like your boss. Tell your boss FU when he asks you to do a TPS report and see how that goes for you.

 

Also if there's not an RB lined up, what kind of run can you audible into? Stevie Johnson/TJ Graham double reverse?

 

lol

 

I like your name, but please don't s***post, it's just a waste of time.

Edited by FireChan
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I agree with all this. The fact that Chan relies on Fitz so much really causes him problems.

 

I personally think we do need a new QB for the "future" but that doesn't mean to start as early as next year. A year behind Fitz would be more than fine.

 

Your right about Fitz if he played for a team like San Fran. If his HC would limit the responsibilities and chances for failure, he would be a ton better than he has been this year. Unfortunately, we don't have a coach like Harbaugh. We have Chan Gailey. He's egotistical, stubborn, and thinks he's smarter than other head coaches. He thinks he's smarter than he is. And unfortunately, he's not going anywhere, anytime soon.

 

So with that said, it doesn't matter who we have at QB. Payton Manning himself would fail on this team because Chan is one dimensional.

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I agree with all this. The fact that Chan relies on Fitz so much really causes him problems.

 

I personally think we do need a new QB for the "future" but that doesn't mean to start as early as next year. A year behind Fitz would be more than fine.

 

Your right about Fitz if he played for a team like San Fran. If his HC would limit the responsibilities and chances for failure, he would be a ton better than he has been this year. Unfortunately, we don't have a coach like Harbaugh. We have Chan Gailey. He's egotistical, stubborn, and thinks he's smarter than other head coaches. He thinks he's smarter than he is. And unfortunately, he's not going anywhere, anytime soon.

 

So with that said, it doesn't matter who we have at QB. Payton Manning himself would fail on this team because Chan is one dimensional.

 

I don't know if Manning would fail. But the point is that without a Manning or Rodgers, we have no chance. And those guys don't exist this draft or as FA.

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First of all, Alex Smith is better than Fitz.

 

Second of all, Manning would not fail here. It would only be to what degree he would lift this franchise.

 

Thirdly, it might be inaccurate to say that Gailey relies too heavily on Fitz. The discussion this week has been whether Gailey gives Fitz enough leeway to call audibles. That was what the whole Stevie drama was about.

 

The irony is that according to Gailey, the plays in which Fitz was not allowed to audible out of were running plays. Gailey clearly stated this and said the reason was because he wanted the team to run the ball more.

 

The implication of this is that maybe earlier in the season that Fitz was audibling to pass plays too often which could possibly mean that the reason the Bills have been over-reliant on the pass is due to Fitz, and not Gailey.

 

Bottom line, there's a possibility (again very ironic if true) that Fitz has put too much on his shoulders passing the ball and that Gailey is trying to unburden him with "required running plays."

 

Finally, I don't feel horrible for Fitz.

 

Fitz has a Harvard degree, a lovely wife who was an All-American soccer player, and has already made millions of dollars in his career.

 

Oh, and his wife has a Harvard degree too.

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Most of what the OP has to say I agree with, tho I know most of the fans on this board think Fitz is the main problem.

 

What we have learned is Gailey is a LOSER! He doesn't know how to win and therefore can't educate Fitz how to win. Most of the time when the game is on the line and the Bills need to run the 2 min drill to win the game its not only Fitz who is clueless. A few players know what to do in that situation, but from watching the games this season most don't know how to utilize the clock, get out of bounds, win the game. 2 losers will never make a winner. Fitz has played on so many bad teams he has learned how to survive, and that's about it.

 

One thing that has become clear to me throughout the last 3 years is Gailey is mostly clueless on players ability, and doesn't watch enough game film. He is basically the exact opposite of Bill Belichick who watches countless hours of game film and breaks down opposing teams and their players ability's. In his first year he lined up Cornell Green at RT and the man was done and should have never ever been allowed on the field. Quietly benched and released after 5 games. Gailey started CJ Spiller back in 2010 with both Lynch and Jackson slightly injured. Once the game started Spiller was benched after 5 players because he didn't know what he was doing, couldn't block, couldn't find a hole, couldn't run a route.

.

In the past 5 years or so its always been injuries for the big excuse why this team loses so many games every year Now most fans can clearly see its the coaches ineptitude, and stupidity that loses games. Ignorance can be fixed, stupidity can't!

 

Chan Gailey is just plain ignorant about the defense and who to hire to run it, and I doubt this will ever change as he has had 3 years to prove different. Gailey is just plain stupid when it comes to the offense. Sure, he made minor stars out of a 7th round WR and QB. But, he has two superstar RB's and refuses to utilize them to win games. He even stated he KNOWS that both RB's should see 20 touches a game each, and even stated such, and yet can't bring himself to stop calling pass plays. Instead he calls for 5 WR empty backfield sets like he has Tom Brady behind center and Brady's receiver corps. Like he has more then one decent WR on the team.

 

I also feel bad for Fitz to some degree because he is burdened with Gailey as his HC. It's a darn shame that Perry Fewell wasn't retained and hired to be the head coach in 2010. He would know what to do with the defense and could have hired Gailey as his OC. Fewell could have also helped with the drafting of some of the players that Nix has drafted over the last 3 years, some good, most suck. With a decent HC this team could be 7-4 and in the playoff hunt in bad AFC East.

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The guy takes every loss to heart every week, especially because our offense coordinator literally kills him with the play calls. Put Fitz on the 49ers this year and they have the exact same record, with maybe one more loss.

 

The guy says he wants Spiller and Fred to get the ball more, and yet, Chan calls the 5 wide 50% of the time. I know you all are gonna say he sucks and should feel bad, but he doesn't need to be put in a situation to suck. You let him throw after we've gotten 20 yards on a run, and 9 out of 10 times he'll complete it. 9 out of 10 times the screen works.

 

Even his deep ball was looking 50-50 against the Dolphins and Colts (without the PI calls in the Dolphins games they looked like they were catchable.

 

I don't expect a lot from Fitz but every game he has some great plays until Chan decides to put it all in his hands. Then he blows it trying to force something after his 6th consecutive pass play with 5 minutes to go, and suddenly he's all to blame.

 

I truly believe the issue is a confidence and pressure thing. I know you'll all say if he can't handle the pressure, he shouldn't be our QB, which I understand. But seriously, if there's not gonna be a QB change mid-season (nor would I want one), setting Fitz up to blow every game is a tremendous shame and I feel for the guy. Everyone on the team seems to understand that he shouldn't be throwing so much, yet all of his confidence and momentum goes out the window when he makes a bad play after 6 good ones. If we didn't ride the guy so much, I think he'd be 100% better.

 

We don't have Aaron Rodgers and we shouldn't let our QB be pounded because he isn't Rodgers. He deserves better than that from our coaches and fans.

 

So you're saying the reason fitz sucks is because we ride him? Are you his agent? You already got your undeserved payday. Be happy with it.

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So you're saying the reason fitz sucks is because we ride him? Are you his agent? You already got your undeserved payday. Be happy with it.

 

Nope, I said he gets hung out to dry by a coach who kills his confidence with the play calling. But I guess you didn't read my post, just skimmed it and tried to be "funny."

 

First of all, Alex Smith is better than Fitz.

 

Second of all, Manning would not fail here. It would only be to what degree he would lift this franchise.

 

Thirdly, it might be inaccurate to say that Gailey relies too heavily on Fitz. The discussion this week has been whether Gailey gives Fitz enough leeway to call audibles. That was what the whole Stevie drama was about.

 

The irony is that according to Gailey, the plays in which Fitz was not allowed to audible out of were running plays. Gailey clearly stated this and said the reason was because he wanted the team to run the ball more.

 

The implication of this is that maybe earlier in the season that Fitz was audibling to pass plays too often which could possibly mean that the reason the Bills have been over-reliant on the pass is due to Fitz, and not Gailey.

 

Bottom line, there's a possibility (again very ironic if true) that Fitz has put too much on his shoulders passing the ball and that Gailey is trying to unburden him with "required running plays."

 

Finally, I don't feel horrible for Fitz.

 

Fitz has a Harvard degree, a lovely wife who was an All-American soccer player, and has already made millions of dollars in his career.

 

Oh, and his wife has a Harvard degree too.

 

I feel bad for the guy on the sidelines when I seem him throw away a game because of the situation his coach puts him in. He also had much better numbers and was able to move the chains more earlier this season, so if that wasn't a product of Gailey, I say let him make the choices again. Also, as I said earlier, it's hard to audible to a run play in a 5 wide set called by Chan.

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Fitzis not to blame for all that ails the Bills though he is a big part of the problem. At the end of the day a team like a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Fitz adds no strength to this team. He often comes up short at the most in opportune times. The record of the Bills during his time speaks for itself.

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I don't know if Manning would fail. But the point is that without a Manning or Rodgers, we have no chance. And those guys don't exist this draft or as FA.

 

I think if Manning wanted to fail, he would have visited Buffalo this past off season between visits to the Broncos and Titans.

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I've watched just about every game for the last 15 years and there is a certain look I'm familiar with at QB. The look of a QB who is in over his head and whose fire is dwindling. Trent had it, JP had it and a few others. Unfortunately I've noticed that Fitzy has that look recently. The guy looks defeated and deflated.

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Driving to VA and back this week I listened to a lot of ESPN and they hit the nail on the head. They were talking about San Fran but it fits Fitz perfectly. They said the thing that separates Kaepernick from Alex Smith is 1: he is willing to throw downfield, and 2: he makes those throws. The thing that pisses me off about Fitz is every time we have third and long he throws a 2 yard pass. The Tennessee game when the Bills got the ball back with a minute to go on their 20. 1st and 10, 2nd and 6, 3rd and 4 and incomplete, incomplete game over. How do you justify getting 6 yards in 4 plays against a prevent defense?

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He is defeated and deflated.

He has a Harvard degree you think he doesn't know he will be riding pine in a week so we can see what we got in TJax.

The trade being upgraded to a 6th round pick is over.

The only good thing for him and bad for Bills fans is TJax is not an NFL quality QB so Fitzy will be back in 2013.

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The guy takes every loss to heart every week, especially because our offense coordinator literally kills him with the play calls. Put Fitz on the 49ers this year and they have the exact same record, with maybe one more loss.

 

The guy says he wants Spiller and Fred to get the ball more, and yet, Chan calls the 5 wide 50% of the time. I know you all are gonna say he sucks and should feel bad, but he doesn't need to be put in a situation to suck. You let him throw after we've gotten 20 yards on a run, and 9 out of 10 times he'll complete it. 9 out of 10 times the screen works.

 

Even his deep ball was looking 50-50 against the Dolphins and Colts (without the PI calls in the Dolphins games they looked like they were catchable.

 

I don't expect a lot from Fitz but every game he has some great plays until Chan decides to put it all in his hands. Then he blows it trying to force something after his 6th consecutive pass play with 5 minutes to go, and suddenly he's all to blame.

 

I truly believe the issue is a confidence and pressure thing. I know you'll all say if he can't handle the pressure, he shouldn't be our QB, which I understand. But seriously, if there's not gonna be a QB change mid-season (nor would I want one), setting Fitz up to blow every game is a tremendous shame and I feel for the guy. Everyone on the team seems to understand that he shouldn't be throwing so much, yet all of his confidence and momentum goes out the window when he makes a bad play after 6 good ones. If we didn't ride the guy so much, I think he'd be 100% better.

 

We don't have Aaron Rodgers and we shouldn't let our QB be pounded because he isn't Rodgers. He deserves better than that from our coaches and fans.

i'll go you one further...i feel bad for all of em. these guys all work hard. fitz, chan, buddy nix...all the rest of them. these players are team guys and i know they really want to give us a winner. i find them all very "likeable" an really would be proud if they could somehow succeed here. they are exactly the kind of men i like to see representing the Bills.

 

but man o man is that not happening.

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Feelings?!! Feelings?!!! There are no Feelings in Footbal!!!

Get with the program.

Fitz can't throw the ball past 15 yards.

He doesn't have a confidence problem. He is in fact over confident in his ability.

The look that you are seeing on his face is more likely self realization that he doesn't have what it takes to be a starting NFL QB. I hear he is pretty smart.

 

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Losing will do that to you. Trent and JP had it for different reasons. JP was lost from the beginning and Trent was lost after Adrian Wilson. Fitz? I think Fitz realizes that his time is growing shorter here in Buffalo with every erratic outing.

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I've watched just about every game for the last 15 years and there is a certain look I'm familiar with at QB. The look of a QB who is in over his head and whose fire is dwindling. Trent had it, JP had it and a few others. Unfortunately I've noticed that Fitzy has that look recently. The guy looks defeated and deflated.

 

Sorry, but you're very wrong. Fitzpatrick is a different breed altogether than both of those jokers. Those two guys were scared to play football in the NFL. They were both deer in headlights. Fitz is a bonafide starting caliber NFL quarterback. Right now at this very moment, he's 9th in TD passes.

 

What you're seeing is a man who wishes his coach hadn't given him 33 passing attempts to Spiller's 14 rushes. Especially when said rusher got 107 yards in those limited number of carries.

 

We all know Fitzpatrick is never going to be elite, and time is definitely running out on him showing he is the QB who will be good enough to get this team a Superbowl win. What Fitzpatrick has to do is close very strong these last five games. If he looks good and has the Bills going on a 4-1 or 5-0 stretch then I think we here may have a whole different outlook on the QB situation. I actually believe the Bills could still make the playoffs given the state of the AFC wildcard and their schedule.

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I've watched just about every game for the last 15 years and there is a certain look I'm familiar with at QB. The look of a QB who is in over his head and whose fire is dwindling. Trent had it, JP had it and a few others. Unfortunately I've noticed that Fitzy has that look recently. The guy looks defeated and deflated.

 

Yup every QB we've had since Jim Kelly has had that look. Bills fans know it all too well.

Sorry, but you're very wrong. Fitzpatrick is a different breed altogether than both of those jokers. Those two guys were scared to play football in the NFL. They were both deer in headlights. Fitz is a bonafide starting caliber NFL quarterback. Right now at this very moment, he's 9th in TD passes.

 

What you're seeing is a man who wishes his coach hadn't given him 33 passing attempts to Spiller's 14 rushes. Especially when said rusher got 107 yards in those limited number of carries.

 

We all know Fitzpatrick is never going to be elite, and time is definitely running out on him showing he is the QB who will be good enough to get this team a Superbowl win. What Fitzpatrick has to do is close very strong these last five games. If he looks good and has the Bills going on a 4-1 or 5-0 stretch then I think we here may have a whole different outlook on the QB situation. I actually believe the Bills could still make the playoffs given the state of the AFC wildcard and their schedule.

 

Fitz is 9th in TD passes - big deal. At the end of the day we are still 4-7, 6-10 last year, 2-14 the year before that. His road and division records as a starting QB are putrid. What matters is WINS in the NFL not the number of TD passes your starting QB throws. He can't throw downfield and he is horribly inaccurate at the basic throws "franchise" QBs can easily make. He is a backup in a "franchise" QB role thus the look of bewilderment.

 

If Fitz is pissed about the playcalling, why doesn't he open his mouth and start bitching about it, rather than having his number 1 target do it for him? The guy has no buring fire and plays with no heart. Remember how Doug Flutie played? His heart and burning desire to prove to everyone he could be a starting QB in the NFL helped him overcome his physical limitations. Fitz just doen't have what it takes to be a "franchise" QB.

Edited by Azucho98
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I think the big problem here is that we have a QB whom is way smarter than his coach. He knows they should be running and running and running some more, and he knows the schemes are bad--for instance, lining up in the shot-gun with no running backs on 3rd and 1, etc..

 

Is Fitz elite? = NO. Can he win with this team? = Yes, but it hurts when you are the smartest man in the room and yet you have to listen to the cretin coach and his antiquated ways.

 

Stevie J was right, just let him call the plays.

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I think the big problem here is that we have a QB whom is way smarter than his coach. He knows they should be running and running and running some more, and he knows the schemes are bad--for instance, lining up in the shot-gun with no running backs on 3rd and 1, etc..

 

Is Fitz elite? = NO. Can he win with this team? = Yes, but it hurts when you are the smartest man in the room and yet you have to listen to the cretin coach and his antiquated ways.

 

Stevie J was right, just let him call the plays.

 

$20 says Fitz could install a better offensive gameplan in weekly prep than can our staff. :thumbsup:

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Sorry, but you're very wrong. Fitzpatrick is a different breed altogether than both of those jokers. Those two guys were scared to play football in the NFL. They were both deer in headlights. Fitz is a bonafide starting caliber NFL quarterback. Right now at this very moment, he's 9th in TD passes.

 

What you're seeing is a man who wishes his coach hadn't given him 33 passing attempts to Spiller's 14 rushes. Especially when said rusher got 107 yards in those limited number of carries.

 

We all know Fitzpatrick is never going to be elite, and time is definitely running out on him showing he is the QB who will be good enough to get this team a Superbowl win. What Fitzpatrick has to do is close very strong these last five games. If he looks good and has the Bills going on a 4-1 or 5-0 stretch then I think we here may have a whole different outlook on the QB situation. I actually believe the Bills could still make the playoffs given the state of the AFC wildcard and their schedule.

 

God no, just no... Fitz is trash....he can't throw past 10 yards yet he still starts. He needs to hit the bench and Gailey needs to be shown the door.

 

That is all.

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I think the big problem here is that we have a QB whom is way smarter than his coach. He knows they should be running and running and running some more, and he knows the schemes are bad--for instance, lining up in the shot-gun with no running backs on 3rd and 1, etc..

 

Is Fitz elite? = NO. Can he win with this team? = Yes, but it hurts when you are the smartest man in the room and yet you have to listen to the cretin coach and his antiquated ways.

 

Stevie J was right, just let him call the plays.

His record proves otherwise...

A good qb makes your team into a playoff team. He has made FATAL throws at KEY GAME CHANGING MOMENTS that cost the Bills wins..End of story for me...

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Yup every QB we've had since Jim Kelly has had that look. Bills fans know it all too well.

 

 

Fitz is 9th in TD passes - big deal. At the end of the day we are still 4-7, 6-10 last year, 2-14 the year before that. His road and division records as a starting QB are putrid. What matters is WINS in the NFL not the number of TD passes your starting QB throws. He can't throw downfield and he is horribly inaccurate at the basic throws "franchise" QBs can easily make. He is a backup in a "franchise" QB role thus the look of bewilderment.

 

If Fitz is pissed about the playcalling, why doesn't he open his mouth and start bitching about it, rather than having his number 1 target do it for him? The guy has no buring fire and plays with no heart. Remember how Doug Flutie played? His heart and burning desire to prove to everyone he could be a starting QB in the NFL helped him overcome his physical limitations. Fitz just doen't have what it takes to be a "franchise" QB.

His record? So the games he threw 3-4 TD passes and scored over 30 points and lost are his fault? I know he's not great and I would like a new QB but don't put all the blame on him. 3-4 years running we have the worst D in the league.

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God no, just no... Fitz is trash....he can't throw past 10 yards yet he still starts. He needs to hit the bench and Gailey needs to be shown the door.

 

That is all.

 

 

Just stating the facts that Trent and JP were not NFL material and Fitzpatrick is NFL material. I really don't see how you got a ringing endorsement of Fitzpatrick from what I said.

 

The Bills will beat the Jaguars and probably get on a roll from there. I think Fitzpatrick and the Bills can go on a five game winning streak and make the playoffs for the first time in forever. That doesn't mean that I think they will do it. Fitzpatrick MUST do something extraordinary like that to sell the team and the fans that the Bills don't have to draft a QB in round 1. That's not a ringing endorsement, just laying out what the deal is for him.

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Defenses are lining up daring Fitz to throw the deep ball because he can't. It doesn't matter how wide open anybody is downfield he still misses. If we had a QB that could make the deep throws defenses would be playing us completely different, and running the ball more would be a better option. Fitz for all his alleged intelligence makes poor decisions and audibles out of running plays more often then not. Fitz is a choke collar around the offenses neck.

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His record? So the games he threw 3-4 TD passes and scored over 30 points and lost are his fault? I know he's not great and I would like a new QB but don't put all the blame on him. 3-4 years running we have the worst D in the league.

 

 

Franchise QBs find ways to win....You don't watch much football other than the Bills do you?

 

You are right, or D stinks too. However, having a great D won't help Fitz make good decisions, throw downfield, make him more accurate, and play with heart..........

Edited by Azucho98
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Franchise QBs find ways to win....You don't watch much football other than the Bills do you?

 

Eli Manning is the perfect example. He's had some rather mediocre stretches at times, but the guy is clutch and does it on the biggest of stages.

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Fitz had the long ball to some degree last year, and has not hit any this year.....the new coach definitely screwed him up. Will it be back next year, I don't know. I think Fitz stays unless..........Nix trades for Alex Smith....would be a heavy price....I would not criticize such a move however. Fitz would , then, be cut loose, 'cause backups don't get paid 10mil per season. (Actually save money, since Smith is making 8-9 Mil per season)

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I don't feel,sorry for anyone. I earnestly believe he could fix his accuracy issues, and deep ball with the right time and effort. He has a decent arm and the smarts.

 

Of course have no idea how he spends his off season. If he lives with a QB coach all off season working on fixating mechanics like Brady was with his QB coach, then I am wrong and it is hopeless.

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Eli Manning is the perfect example. He's had some rather mediocre stretches at times, but the guy is clutch and does it on the biggest of stages.

again, he also has a heck of a defense to rely on. But he does make those piss you off plays in the 4th quarter doesnt he.
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It happened with Johnson, Van Pelt, Bledsoe, Losman, Holcombe, Edwards, and Even Fitzpatrick - there's a signature play in each season where we are already at wits end with these players, hoping for them to give us one ounce of hope.... AAAAND.. Then comes that 5 yard dump off pass or the throw that misses the wide open receiver for a TD, and we realize "This QB has all but lost it, he's done." Then comes 4th down and you see our QB hanging his head walking to the sideline.

Edited by Bills!Win!
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Just stating the facts that Trent and JP were not NFL material and Fitzpatrick is NFL material. I really don't see how you got a ringing endorsement of Fitzpatrick from what I said.

 

The Bills will beat the Jaguars and probably get on a roll from there. I think Fitzpatrick and the Bills can go on a five game winning streak and make the playoffs for the first time in forever. That doesn't mean that I think they will do it. Fitzpatrick MUST do something extraordinary like that to sell the team and the fans that the Bills don't have to draft a QB in round 1. That's not a ringing endorsement, just laying out what the deal is for him.

If you stick Fitzpatrick's brain in JP Lossman's body you might have a winner.

 

Fitzpatrick is not physically capable of throwing the ball downfield. This season has proven that to be an irrefutable fact.

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i feel badly for fitzpatrick too- not because of the playcalling, which has maximized his medoicre abilities over the years, but because he is a mid level backup forced to start for a team with a weak defense and a rabid, starving fan base in a division that has eaten them for lunch for the most part.

if we had a top 15 quarterback starting for this team they would have easily won an additional (4) games and be in the playoffs this season.

havng watched every game fitz has played for the past (3) seasons, there is absolutely zero doubt that he is one of the worst quarterbacks in the league. his capabilities as a quarterback rank no. 1 at the top of the list of reasons why the Bills have won (4) and lost (7) games this season.

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The guy takes every loss to heart every week, especially because our offense coordinator literally kills him with the play calls. Put Fitz on the 49ers this year and they have the exact same record, with maybe one more loss.

 

I stopped reading here because it is freaking hilarious that you believe that.

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