Fan in San Diego Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Find the half way point geographically and on weekends you each drive to the middle and hang out there. That way each shares the load on gas and driving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynical Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Given the bolded, (and i'm going to flat out give you the harsh truth), it sounds like she wants to ride as much pole as she can before she enters the real world. Â Maybe, maybe not. (OP did say she was shy.) The fact that she has new friends and wants a break, yeah, there is at least one guy that piqued her interest, and he's local. She wants to test those waters without fully letting you go. Â I concur with the others. Time to head out, and see what you can find locally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Maybe, maybe not. (OP did say she was shy.) The fact that she has new friends and wants a break, yeah, there is at least one guy that piqued her interest, and he's local. She wants to test those waters without fully letting you go. Â I concur with the others. Time to head out, and see what you can find locally. Â Im reluctant to do that until I know fully where I stand with her. We are still a couple on Facebook. She hasnt changed that and I'm not sure what to think about it until I talk to her again. I decided to wait a few days before contacting her again just to let things settle and before tempers rage and destroy everything. Â My thinking right now is, Ive invested a lot in this relationship, I love her, and Im in no rush to find someone else. Im going to be coming home around thanksgiving so finding a girl down there for 3 months isnt worth it to me. After talking with my sister last night, I'm gonna let this whole thing play out. I drove almost 700 miles to go see her every few weeks. She meant that much to me. I dont regret doing it and I would do it again. Until I know where we stand as a couple, single, whatever, Im not gonna do anything to jeopardize a future with her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012   Im reluctant to do that until I know fully where I stand with her. We are still a couple on Facebook. She hasnt changed that and I'm not sure what to think about it until I talk to her again. I decided to wait a few days before contacting her again just to let things settle and before tempers rage and destroy everything.  My thinking right now is, Ive invested a lot in this relationship, I love her, and Im in no rush to find someone else. Im going to be coming home around thanksgiving so finding a girl down there for 3 months isnt worth it to me. After talking with my sister last night, I'm gonna let this whole thing play out. I drove almost 700 miles to go see her every few weeks. She meant that much to me. I dont regret doing it and I would do it again. Until I know where we stand as a couple, single, whatever, Im not gonna do anything to jeopardize a future with her  Sorry my friend, but she already has another man or at least has one in mind. Time for you to bang a few hoes, even if you do get back together with her, in 10 years you'll wish you used this opportunity, especially after you find out she did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Im reluctant to do that until I know fully where I stand with her. We are still a couple on Facebook. She hasnt changed that and I'm not sure what to think about it until I talk to her again. I decided to wait a few days before contacting her again just to let things settle and before tempers rage and destroy everything. Â My thinking right now is, Ive invested a lot in this relationship, I love her, and Im in no rush to find someone else. Im going to be coming home around thanksgiving so finding a girl down there for 3 months isnt worth it to me. After talking with my sister last night, I'm gonna let this whole thing play out. I drove almost 700 miles to go see her every few weeks. She meant that much to me. I dont regret doing it and I would do it again. Until I know where we stand as a couple, single, whatever, Im not gonna do anything to jeopardize a future with her Important question: how many times did she drive (or take the train, bus, etc) 700 miles to see you? Â My guess is that Cynical is closest to being right. There's a fun, new guy on the scene and she's young and fickle and not looking for a permanent relationship anyway. "I have a boyfriend 700 miles away" isn't a lot of fun for a girl, and it's certainly an invitation for any guy to hit on her. As for your phone call, everyone says 'I still love you' when they are breaking up with someone so she may have just been trying to let you down easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Important question: how many times did she drive (or take the train, bus, etc) 700 miles to see you? Â My guess is that Cynical is closest to being right. There's a fun, new guy on the scene and she's young and fickle and not looking for a permanent relationship anyway. "I have a boyfriend 700 miles away" isn't a lot of fun for a girl, and it's certainly an invitation for any guy to hit on her. As for your phone call, everyone says 'I still love you' when they are breaking up with someone so she may have just been trying to let you down easy. You guys may be right. that was actually one of my first thoughts when she said all this. I dont want to assume to much right now because it really might not be the case. If there was another guy on the scene Im sure she wouldnt keep us a couple on FB. Shed want to let him know soon I would think. This happened over two days ago. Its not like she hasnt had time. I refuse to do it because this isnt my idea. Â She made the trip a few times. She doesnt have a car which makes it difficult and she had a job this summer that required her to work nights weekend ect. If after i talk to her in a few days and see where we stand then I'll make a decision about whether to pursue something else and move on. Until then, a week to let things settle isnt going to mean much in the grand scheme of things. Â I appreciate all the advice though guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Just encourage her to be upfront with you when you speak and don't get angry no matter what she says (and don't put too much stock in Facebook updates -- if there is another guy it's new and he doesn't give a damn what her Facebook says). But for you it's better to know the ugly truth so you can start to move on. Â And "move on" means dealing with the reality that it's over. That's different (and more important) than "start dating others". Nothing wrong with going solo for a few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdog1960 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 had 2 long distance relationships. one worked out beautifully and one crashed and burned. thankfully, the good one happened after the bad. i see it as a stress test for a relationship which is a good thing cuz there will surely be more stressful times to weather as a couple. if the relationship can't withstand a few months of seperation, it wasn't very strong or likely destined to ever be very strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Adams Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Please don't evaluate the strength of a relationship on a facebook relationship status. C'mon man: You're broken up. Â To put it in a context that the pre-Facebook generation would relate to, just because she has your varsity jacket doesn't mean you're still steady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOBILLS78 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 !@#$ a lot of women, kid. I have no reason to lie to you. Not one woman. A lot of women. You heard what I said? Â Basically. The only thing I will add is one more "a lot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Â Â O please do . Tell us all. Â He just really wants to know if she is good in the sack.... Â Time will tell if it is meant to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drinkTHEkoolaid Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Dude girls wanting space means they want to ride new pole and not feel guilty over it....she probably honestly doesn't want to hurt you and she has a comfort level with you so she wants to let you down easy and perhaps keep you hanging around in case she decides she made a mistake. Don't pay attention to Facebook status....it doesn't mean much other than a sentimental comfort blanket for you to be able to sleep at night as long as the status doesn't change regardless what is happening in the real relationship. Â Honestly take a step back. Evaluate your life. What you like, what you want to do etc... plan for life without her and start moving on. If she realizes she loves you great she will be back. If not then you didn't actually lose anything. Â Go out and enjoy life. You are in a great time of your life with minimal responsibility. Enjoy it now or regret it later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 Its over... were gonna see how we feel in november when im home but i doubt anything will happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhitewalkerInPhilly Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I'll be completely honest with you: the exact same thing happened to me a few months ago. We kept it going for a year afterwards, but it sounds like we had the same problem: moving on out after school, going to different cities and barely seeing each other. Â It sucks. It completely sucks. But you tried, and if you loved her there was no way you were simply going to give up without doing that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Its over... were gonna see how we feel in november when im home but i doubt anything will happen  That seems to be for the best. Just remember, you don't need to regret everything you did for her just because you guys broke up. But it's important to move on. Don't sit around banking on something happening in November. Go out and bag some hoes, or just hang out with some of your friends and cheer on the Bills. It's important to live your life how YOU want, and not worry about what SHE will think.  Also remember, there will ALWAYS be another girl down the road that will make you feel as strongly as you did for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Its over... were gonna see how we feel in november when im home but i doubt anything will happen  Very sorry. Have seen it before. When they say they want a break it means they want someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 That seems to be for the best. Just remember, you don't need to regret everything you did for her just because you guys broke up. But it's important to move on. Don't sit around banking on something happening in November. Go out and bag some hoes, or just hang out with some of your friends and cheer on the Bills. It's important to live your life how YOU want, and not worry about what SHE will think. Â Also remember, there will ALWAYS be another girl down the road that will make you feel as strongly as you did for her. Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can  That's the spirit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012  Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can  Pics please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanNC Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can  That's the spirit! Nothing will get you moving past all of this quicker than bringing the white rain of a thousand loads to vaginas near and far.  And in the spirit of Steel Panther...17 Girls in a Row (NSFW)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvhbj0jVMFs Edited August 28, 2012 by BillsFanNC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can  Everyone says it during the break up but I don't recommend actually trying to 'stay friends' with a girl who ended it. All that does is prolong your recovery period. Just like with smoking, cold turkey is the only way to quit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Everyone says it during the break up but I don't recommend actually trying to 'stay friends' with a girl who ended it. All that does is prolong your recovery period. Just like with smoking, cold turkey is the only way to quit. Â You saying he should quit dating girls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can  Hey, no matter how difficult it gets, just always remember:  You're not MDP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Everyone says it during the break up but I don't recommend actually trying to 'stay friends' with a girl who ended it. All that does is prolong your recovery period. Just like with smoking, cold turkey is the only way to quit. Â This is true. Normal platonic friendships are rarely derived from a scenario with intense feelings. "Staying friends" is a good deal for divorced parents with kids. Otherwise, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordio Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Thanks for the kinds words guys. Im lucky to have the support system I got. Brother, sister and mom and dad all called me within about 20 mins to see how i was doing and said something similar. Ill be ok. Well try to stay friends but I did alot for her, I have no regrets other than I wish she was willing to stick it out like I was willing to. Gonna go bang someone tomorrow if i can  Kind of been following this thread. Sorry it did not work out. Listen man, I am a little older then you so there is a lesson to be learned here. When a girl inititiates the breakup they usually have another guy already in the fold to replace you. I have 3 friends that their wives all initiated the divorce proceedings & all 3 rtimes it came out at a later date that they were seeing someone else. For whatever reason girls do not want to be alone & will very rarely look for a breakup if they do not have another option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 It's like that quote: Women are like monkeys; they won't let go of one branch until they've got hold of the next. Â Many women seem to judge their own social value on the possession of a man, whereas the social value for men is in sewing wild oats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 I went above and beyond in this relationship. Im making 120 a week, it would cost me almost 100 dollars to drive there and back and I did it every three weeks. I facetimed her every night, sent her flowers, gifts, letters emails every day. In the end that wasnt enough for her. I have absolutely no regret and dont think I could have done anything more to show her i care and wanted to make this work. She gave up and didnt want it as bad as I did. That part hurts. The thought of someone else hurts. But for the first time in any relationship ive been a part of, I cant say I should have done more. I'm not sure what else I could have done. Â Its nobodys fault. Just didnt work. In a few weeks, Ill be in Buffalo and prolly wont even call her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I went above and beyond in this relationship. Im making 120 a week, it would cost me almost 100 dollars to drive there and back and I did it every three weeks. I facetimed her every night, sent her flowers, gifts, letters emails every day. In the end that wasnt enough for her. I have absolutely no regret and dont think I could have done anything more to show her i care and wanted to make this work. She gave up and didnt want it as bad as I did. That part hurts. The thought of someone else hurts. But for the first time in any relationship ive been a part of, I cant say I should have done more. I'm not sure what else I could have done.  Its nobodys fault. Just didnt work. In a few weeks, Ill be in Buffalo and prolly wont even call her  As was mentioned, go cold turkey.  You don't want to find out who she's with now. It'll just piss you off, and make it harder to move on.  Oh, and next time, don't do all that extra stuff like flowers/gifts/etc..., unless that's just how you are. If you're doing it to impress her, or keep her around, just don't. If she needs that stuff to be interested in the relationship, all it's doing is buying you a little time till something comes along that's more interesting than flowers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I facetimed her every night, sent her flowers, gifts, letters emails every day. In the end that wasnt enough for her. Â Yikes. Â It wasn't 'not enough' for her, it was too much. Waaay too much. Dude, you can't smother women, no matter what the stupid ass Hollywood movies tell you. They will run away every time (unless they are crazy needy and then you'll need to run away). Â I'm sure Captain Hindsight won't make that mistake next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I went above and beyond in this relationship. Im making 120 a week, it would cost me almost 100 dollars to drive there and back and I did it every three weeks. I facetimed her every night, sent her flowers, gifts, letters emails every day. In the end that wasnt enough for her. I have absolutely no regret and dont think I could have done anything more to show her i care and wanted to make this work. She gave up and didnt want it as bad as I did. That part hurts. The thought of someone else hurts. But for the first time in any relationship ive been a part of, I cant say I should have done more. I'm not sure what else I could have done.   I think I make that in an hour now.  This is the first time in a long time I'm appreciating being older.  Its nobodys fault. Just didnt work. In a few weeks, Ill be in Buffalo and prolly wont even call her  Healthy attitude. Seriously.   You don't want to find out who she's with now. It'll just piss you off, and make it harder to move on.  Unless it's a chick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Â Â You don't want to find out who she's with now. It'll just piss you off, and make it harder to move on. Â Â Â Â Unless it's a chick... Â No, that'll still make it harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Â Â Yikes. Â It wasn't 'not enough' for her, it was too much. Waaay too much. Dude, you can't smother women, no matter what the stupid ass Hollywood movies tell you. They will run away every time (unless they are crazy needy and then you'll need to run away). Â I'm sure Captain Hindsight won't make that mistake next time. Â Yup, you over compensated captain and she saw you as needy. Live and learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 Man, you need a new job!! Isn't min wage for a full-time week like $300? Intern... Â Welcome to the life of college graduates. No one hires you anymore, they give you an internship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Intern...  Welcome to the life of college graduates. No one hires you anymore, they give you an internship  Doing what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012  Intern...  Welcome to the life of college graduates. No one hires you anymore, they give you an internship  What is your degree in? Are you working in Buffalo? What are the chances you get a full time job at this outfit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optometric Insight Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Go out and bag some hoes, or just hang out with some of your friends and cheer on the Bills. It's important to live your life how YOU want, and not worry about what SHE will think. Oh yeah, the Bills will certainly cheer him up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) What is your degree in? Are you working in Buffalo? What are the chances you get a full time job at this outfit. I have a degree in Environmental Policy and a Degree in Psychology. Im planning on going back to grad school. Im currently interning for NYS DEC as an educator/ researcher about marshes and eels specifically. Â Ive been offered to come back, at the same salary of 10 grand... but honestly this isnt what I want to be doing so I doubt Ill take it Im working near poughkeepsie Edited August 29, 2012 by Captain Hindsight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I have a degree in Environmental Policy and a Degree in Psychology. Im planning on going back to grad school. Im currently interning for NYS DEC as an educator/ researcher about marshes and eels specifically.  Ive been offered to come back, at the same salary of 10 grand... but honestly this isnt what I want to be doing so I doubt Ill take it Im working near poughkeepsie  Well there's your problem. Everybody knows there's no money in the eel business. You get into eels because you LOVE EELS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Hindsight Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 Well there's your problem. Everybody knows there's no money in the eel business. You get into eels because you LOVE EELS. O contraire. These eels were going for 2000 bucks a pound earlier this year. if it werent for that whole ethic thing id be on easy street Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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