Cowboys DE Marshawn Kneeland passes away - 24 yrs old.

[gonzo1105]

49 minutes ago, Bruffalo said:

My father was one of those "older generation" types.

 

He had a very abusive childhood and was a Vietnam veteran. He clearly had some post traumatic stress that he never processed, and towards the end of his life he turned to an extreme gambling addiction and some drug use in order to cope. Burned through almost all his savings within three years, almost lost his house (would have, if I didn't step in), and went AWOL. About 4 weeks later they found him dead in his car by the California border. We still have no idea why he was going there or what he was doing. 

Yup it’s funny I have conversations with a PCP here in Arkansas who prescribed me and he said times are different. Guys used to get lost in gambling, alcohol, abusing their wives and children as their outlet for their issues which in itself is sad but he said this generation has been better taught that not to hit women or children and alcohol consumption is massively down in this country so men no longer have these old outlets to deal with their issues 

[Fan in Chicago]

2 hours ago, Draconator said:

I was on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge in 2012, ready to jump. I was rapid cycling from my Bipolar, and my doctor had screwed up my meds. I had a friend who I was talking with throughout the day call me while I was on the bridge, and she said go to the Psych ER one more time. If it doesn't work, you have my permission to jump. I went to the ER, and in California where I was living at the time, they immediately gave me a prescription for meds. I went and got those filled right away, had a come to Jesus meeting with my doctor to straighten out my meds. I reconnected with my now wife 3 months later, moved to Buffalo, and my Bipolar has been in remission for over 10 years. 

 

You're so right in saying mental illness is no joke. 

Glad to hear you are better in your second life. Very inspiring to hear stories such as yours. 

[JMM]

2 hours ago, Draconator said:

I was on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge in 2012, ready to jump. I was rapid cycling from my Bipolar, and my doctor had screwed up my meds. I had a friend who I was talking with throughout the day call me while I was on the bridge, and she said go to the Psych ER one more time. If it doesn't work, you have my permission to jump. I went to the ER, and in California where I was living at the time, they immediately gave me a prescription for meds. I went and got those filled right away, had a come to Jesus meeting with my doctor to straighten out my meds. I reconnected with my now wife 3 months later, moved to Buffalo, and my Bipolar has been in remission for over 10 years. 

 

You're so right in saying mental illness is no joke. 

Thank you for sharing this.

[Don Otreply]

 🙏 

[Reks Ryan]

First NFL TD on Monday night and then a complete breakdown and gone, essentially 48 hours later.  Wow.

 

Just shows that watching from afar, we have no idea what people are going through. 

[Draconator]

11 minutes ago, JMM said:

Thank you for sharing this.

You're welcome

[CSBill]

3 hours ago, Draconator said:

I was on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge in 2012, ready to jump. I was rapid cycling from my Bipolar, and my doctor had screwed up my meds. I had a friend who I was talking with throughout the day call me while I was on the bridge, and she said go to the Psych ER one more time. If it doesn't work, you have my permission to jump. I went to the ER, and in California where I was living at the time, they immediately gave me a prescription for meds. I went and got those filled right away, had a come to Jesus meeting with my doctor to straighten out my meds. I reconnected with my now wife 3 months later, moved to Buffalo, and my Bipolar has been in remission for over 10 years. 

 

You're so right in saying mental illness is no joke. 

 

An awesome testament to you, Dracon. Love it!

[Bruffalo]

51 minutes ago, gonzo1105 said:

Yup it’s funny I have conversations with a PCP here in Arkansas who prescribed me and he said times are different. Guys used to get lost in gambling, alcohol, abusing their wives and children as their outlet for their issues which in itself is sad but he said this generation has been better taught that not to hit women or children and alcohol consumption is massively down in this country so men no longer have these old outlets to deal with their issues 

100%

 

I'm doing my best to raise my kid in a healthy environment that I never truly had. When my wife and I were dating years ago and I started to hang out with her family more and more, it was a revelation. Like "OH this is how a normal family acts, this is so much better."

 

I still love my father, but I also hate him for everything he did (and didn't do). It's complicated, thankfully I'm mature and open enough at this point in my life that I can meet with a therapist regularly to work through all of these conflicting emotions. 

 

 

[RobbRiddick]

3 hours ago, Draconator said:

I was on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge in 2012, ready to jump. I was rapid cycling from my Bipolar, and my doctor had screwed up my meds. I had a friend who I was talking with throughout the day call me while I was on the bridge, and she said go to the Psych ER one more time. If it doesn't work, you have my permission to jump. I went to the ER, and in California where I was living at the time, they immediately gave me a prescription for meds. I went and got those filled right away, had a come to Jesus meeting with my doctor to straighten out my meds. I reconnected with my now wife 3 months later, moved to Buffalo, and my Bipolar has been in remission for over 10 years. 

 

You're so right in saying mental illness is no joke. 

Wow, great story and very brave of you to speak out on this stuff, many people don't. The brain is a strange, strange thing. No one really knows how it truly works and when you actually think about what's going on in them with memories and creativity and dreams and whatnot it can actually freak you out. No wonder there are so many scientists who believe this is all an AI simulation. I just wish the b*stard programming it could let the Bills win the Super Bowl

[Draconator]

1 minute ago, RobbRiddick said:

Wow, great story and very brave of you to speak out on this stuff, many people don't. The brain is a strange, strange thing. No one really knows how it truly works and when you actually think about what's going on in them with memories and creativity and dreams and whatnot it can actually freak you out. No wonder there are so many scientists who believe this is all an AI simulation. I just wish the b*stard programming it could let the Bills win the Super Bowl

My bipolar has always been an open book. I didn't ask for it. It was the hand that was dealt to me. 

 

The brain is an amazing thing. Totally agree. 

 

Once the Bills win the Superbowl, would that mean that Elon gives each Bills fan $10K each? He can afford it. 

[Let's Go Buffalo]

That's very sad news for sure. It's hard to fathom, and I hope and pray that his family finds peace. R.I.P. Mr. Kneeland

[EmotionallyUnstable]

I am not sure if this thread has made me depressed or inspired 🧐

[ChronicAndKnuckles]

8 hours ago, Draconator said:

 

i think it’s awesome that he got to have this moment.

[boyst]

This story is still pissing me off. Men's mental health is neglected too damn much. I've known far too many people to take their own life. 

[Sierra Foothills]

6 hours ago, Draconator said:

I was on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge in 2012, ready to jump. I was rapid cycling from my Bipolar, and my doctor had screwed up my meds. I had a friend who I was talking with throughout the day call me while I was on the bridge, and she said go to the Psych ER one more time. If it doesn't work, you have my permission to jump. I went to the ER, and in California where I was living at the time, they immediately gave me a prescription for meds. I went and got those filled right away, had a come to Jesus meeting with my doctor to straighten out my meds. I reconnected with my now wife 3 months later, moved to Buffalo, and my Bipolar has been in remission for over 10 years. 

 

You're so right in saying mental illness is no joke. 

 

5 hours ago, TheBrownBear said:

@Draconator Obviously, all of us here at TBD are grateful for your friend's phone call!  Happy to hear you're healthy and thriving. 

 

I was at a similar point 20 years ago. Had made up my mind to jump in front of a subway car during a mental health crisis in grad school. Luckily, a fellow classmate saw me at the edge of the platform with a glazed stare, grabbed my shoulder and asked me if I was okay as I hadn't been in class for a couple of weeks. I shrugged him off with an excuse, but it was enough of a speed bump to get me to reconsider it. Went home that night and shared my inner turmoil with my wife. Began counseling/treatment the next day and, while it hasn't always been easy, I haven't been back to that darkest of places since.

 

4 hours ago, Bruffalo said:

My father was one of those "older generation" types.

 

He had a very abusive childhood and was a Vietnam veteran. He clearly had some post traumatic stress that he never processed, and towards the end of his life he turned to an extreme gambling addiction and some drug use in order to cope. Burned through almost all his savings within three years, almost lost his house (would have, if I didn't step in), and went AWOL. About 4 weeks later they found him dead in his car by the California border. We still have no idea why he was going there or what he was doing. 

 

4 hours ago, Ray Stonada said:

Thank you for sharing this.

 

My older brother was in a very similar place in June 1991, in Buffalo, and he didn't make it. We watched the first Super Bowl together, but I've missed sharing every season since then with him. When I get back to town, I go to games with my nephew, his son, who is doing really well.

 

I am glad you made it.

 

I really appreciate you guys sharing your stories.

 

This conversation is another opportunity for the fortunate among us to count our blessings and empathize with the stories of others.

 

I really hope that any of our members who are having tough times feel they can reach out to others here for a needed ear or a hand.

 

Also, don't forget that the Crisis Hotline is 9-8-8.

 

[gonzo1105]

4 minutes ago, Sierra Foothills said:

 

 

 

 

I really appreciate you guys sharing your stories.

 

This conversation is another opportunity for the fortunate among us to count our blessings and empathize with the stories of others.

 

I really hope that any of our members who are having tough times feel they can reach out to others here for a needed ear or a hand.

 

Also, don't forget that the Crisis Hotline is 9-8-8.

 

Yup I mean just in this thread what 8 to 10 guys have come forward with stories already or their issues. I’m sure there are many others who don’t care to or are afraid to share their issues. It needs to be normalized when it comes to men. 
 

A kid I worked with was going to be a pharmacist and was training to do it, seemed like a good kid, joked around a lot, just one night took his life. There are plenty of of other examples like Kneeland of people who seemed to have bright futures or were rich and it didn’t stop their internal suffering 

[JakeFrommStateFarm]

Very sad story and I'm really sorry that he didn't get the help he needed like others in this thread. 

 

I'm so glad others in this thread are still with us and still fighting!!

 

Go Bills !

[Jon in Pasadena]

7 hours ago, Draconator said:

I was on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge in 2012, ready to jump. I was rapid cycling from my Bipolar, and my doctor had screwed up my meds. I had a friend who I was talking with throughout the day call me while I was on the bridge, and she said go to the Psych ER one more time. If it doesn't work, you have my permission to jump. I went to the ER, and in California where I was living at the time, they immediately gave me a prescription for meds. I went and got those filled right away, had a come to Jesus meeting with my doctor to straighten out my meds. I reconnected with my now wife 3 months later, moved to Buffalo, and my Bipolar has been in remission for over 10 years. 

 

You're so right in saying mental illness is no joke. 

 

Guy I knew from college was in the same situation on the GGB some years back. Unfortunately, he did jump.

[ChronicAndKnuckles]

I hope the NFL does right by his family, but they probably won’t. 

[TheWei44]

1 hour ago, boyst said:

This story is still pissing me off. Men's mental health is neglected too damn much. I've known far too many people to take their own life. 

Same here - Tough stuff for sure and generally leaves lots of unanswered questions.  Glad many folks are being so open on this thread.