Big Turk Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) I am not sure what type of man allows this type of behavior from a woman he is dating/has a child with, let alone a big 350 lb OL... Sad that is happened bit even sadder as a man you allow this to happen. And I am NOT suggesting he retaliate with violence himself, I am suggesting he lets her know that will never happen again and if it did he walks away forever. Typically this is the end result after a lot of other disrespectful behavior that is allowed to happen without him doing or saying anything. And by "doing" the advocation is walking away. Always walk away from disrespect from a woman. https://www.google.com/amp/s/sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/ravens-ol-dj-fluker-victim-domestic-violence-incidents-024119785.html Edited July 25, 2020 by matter2003 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 All people can be subject to mental abuse, not sure if abuse is the right word, maybe manipulation is better. I am dealing with friend whose behaviors and that of his wife have changed subtly over time, but now to the point he his totally dominated by her in every social situation and every decision "they" make is just really her decision. I don't believe there is any physical abuse, but man i do believe there is mental abuse I applaud (most likey, as i do not now) his desire to keep his family together and his restraint. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The BLUES Brothers Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Sad situation. Chances are she experienced this type of behavior in her parents and it perpetuates itself. Hope she gets help to break the cycle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted July 25, 2020 Author Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) 18 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said: All people can be subject to mental abuse, not sure if abuse is the right word, maybe manipulation is better. I am dealing with friend whose behaviors and that of his wife have changed subtly over time, but now to the point he his totally dominated by her in every social situation and every decision "they" make is just really her decision. I don't believe there is any physical abuse, but man i do believe there is mental abuse I applaud (most likey, as i do not now) his desire to keep his family together and his restraint. See but that is the problem. Women will constantly test and push to see what they can get away with. They will start with small disrespectful things and if you allow it, they will keep doing slightly more disrespectful things until it gets to a point where they have no regard for the man(and no respect for him as a man) like the situation you describe and stay(for a while...until they eventually get to a point they view him with such disdain and disgust they either cheat or leave after so much abuse---mental, emotional or physical). This is not something to applaud. If a man has no respect for himself, how can he expect anyone else to? She certainly doesn't anymore. I can pretty much guarantee you within 5 years she will divorce him and likely is/will cheat on him. She has wanted him to stand up for himself for a long time. Women WANT a man to have boundaries for behavior. He doesn't. It lets them feel secure and their respect grows for him that he will not tolerate certain actions. The biggest fear a woman has is a man that is able to walk away. If he would simply show the willingness to not tolerate disrespectful behavior and have some self-respect for himself he may be able to slowly change the situation. The more he doesn't and the more he allows the closer it gets to the situation I describe which is going to be a when not if unless something changes drastically. Sad we have reached a point where other men "applaud" a man for having no self respect and allowing a woman to treat them like a doormat. Completely unacceptable in my book. Edited July 25, 2020 by matter2003 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 14 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said: All people can be subject to mental abuse, not sure if abuse is the right word, maybe manipulation is better. I am dealing with friend whose behaviors and that of his wife have changed subtly over time, but now to the point he his totally dominated by her in every social situation and every decision "they" make is just really her decision. I don't believe there is any physical abuse, but man i do believe there is mental abuse I applaud (most likey, as i do not now) his desire to keep his family together and his restraint. yup. Just cause he’s 350 lbs doesn’t mean it’s suddenly easy to tear a family apart. And plenty of these guys carry all kinds of trauma. it’s not ok to stay in abusive situations that pass that trauma to a new generation but it’s not hard to envision storylines where it could easily happen. If anything seeing a rich nfl player in it should underscore it’s not always being broke or scared of retaliation that makes it hard if you see a loved one going through it. You have to make sure you are connecting to them in the right places to empower change and not just assume the “obvious” will actually get them out. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machine gun kelly Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 I’m sorry for the child having to see this despicable behavior. Tolerating abuse of any kind is sad whether man to woman, woman to man, or to a child is disgusting. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobbRiddick Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 I don't think it's about him being too weak to fight back, more that he just refuses to hit a woman, especially when he could probably kill her with one shot. Imagine if he did hit her and put her in hospital, what would that do to his career. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 49 minutes ago, matter2003 said: I am not sure what type of man allows this type of behavior from a woman he is dating/has a child with, let alone a big 350 lb OL... Sad that is happened bit even sadder as a man you allow this to happen. And I am NOT suggesting he retaliate with violence himself, I am suggesting he lets her know that will never happen again and if it did he walks away forever. Typically this is the end result after a lot of other disrespectful behavior that is allowed to happen without him doing or saying anything. And by "doing" the advocation is walking away. Always walk away from disrespect from a woman. https://www.google.com/amp/s/sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/ravens-ol-dj-fluker-victim-domestic-violence-incidents-024119785.html That was no Fluke. That woman is a terror. I give him credit for holding his temper, he could snap her in half before she knew what hit her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victory Formation Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Men are usually more physically abusive, women are usually more emotionally abusive. This is why men need to be more cautious with who they sleep with. Sure, they may be more soft, lucious and beautiful at first but they can quickly dig their hooks and flip personalities in an instant. All of a sudden she has full custody of the kids and she’s taking half of what you got and she’s spreading lies about you to your children and turning them against you and the worst part is she’s in your life forever. Then all of a sudden you’re paying not only for your ex and your kids but also her new boyfriend she seduced to make you jealous. She’s screwing every guy in town but you just to piss you off. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireChans Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 14 minutes ago, Victory Formation said: Men are usually more physically abusive, women are usually more emotionally abusive. This is why men need to be more cautious with who they sleep with. Sure, they may be more soft, lucious and beautiful at first but they can quickly dig their hooks and flip personalities in an instant. All of a sudden she has full custody of the kids and she’s taking half of what you got and she’s spreading lies about you to your children and turning them against you and the worst part is she’s in your life forever. Then all of a sudden you’re paying not only for your ex and your kids but also her new boyfriend she seduced to make you jealous. She’s screwing every guy in town but you just to piss you off. 47 minutes ago, matter2003 said: See but that is the problem. Women will constantly test and push to see what they can get away with. They will start with small disrespectful things and if you allow it, they will keep doing slightly more disrespectful things until it gets to a point where they have no regard for the man(and no respect for him as a man) like the situation you describe and stay(for a while...until they eventually get to a point they view him with such disdain and disgust they either cheat or leave after so much abuse---mental, emotional or physical). This is not something to applaud. If a man has no respect for himself, how can he expect anyone else to? She certainly doesn't anymore. I can pretty much guarantee you within 5 years she will divorce him and likely is/will cheat on him. She has wanted him to stand up for himself for a long time. Women WANT a man to have boundaries for behavior. He doesn't. It lets them feel secure and their respect grows for him that he will not tolerate certain actions. The biggest fear a woman has is a man that is able to walk away. If he would simply show the willingness to not tolerate disrespectful behavior and have some self-respect for himself he may be able to slowly change the situation. The more he doesn't and the more he allows the closer it gets to the situation I describe which is going to be a when not if unless something changes drastically. Sad we have reached a point where other men "applaud" a man for having no self respect and allowing a woman to treat them like a doormat. Completely unacceptable in my book. These are the takes that just keep me coming back to TBD 7 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted July 25, 2020 Author Share Posted July 25, 2020 13 minutes ago, FireChans said: These are the takes that just keep me coming back to TBD The cold hard truth? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Numark3 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, matter2003 said: See but that is the problem. Women will constantly test and push to see what they can get away with. They will start with small disrespectful things and if you allow it, they will keep doing slightly more disrespectful things until it gets to a point where they have no regard for the man(and no respect for him as a man) like the situation you describe and stay(for a while...until they eventually get to a point they view him with such disdain and disgust they either cheat or leave after so much abuse---mental, emotional or physical). This is not something to applaud. If a man has no respect for himself, how can he expect anyone else to? She certainly doesn't anymore. I can pretty much guarantee you within 5 years she will divorce him and likely is/will cheat on him. She has wanted him to stand up for himself for a long time. Women WANT a man to have boundaries for behavior. He doesn't. It lets them feel secure and their respect grows for him that he will not tolerate certain actions. The biggest fear a woman has is a man that is able to walk away. If he would simply show the willingness to not tolerate disrespectful behavior and have some self-respect for himself he may be able to slowly change the situation. The more he doesn't and the more he allows the closer it gets to the situation I describe which is going to be a when not if unless something changes drastically. Sad we have reached a point where other men "applaud" a man for having no self respect and allowing a woman to treat them like a doormat. Completely unacceptable in my book. who is applauding him??? You sure this issue isn’t totally made up in your head? Edited July 25, 2020 by Crayola64 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Otreply Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Being a bad person knows no boundaries of gender race or wealth, how to deal with it is always difficult in relationships. Hope their families issues are solved quickly for everyone’s sake. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiotAct Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Dang - sad situation. Hopefully it’s under control for good now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dopey Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 17 minutes ago, matter2003 said: The cold hard truth? There's always at least 1 person who thinks his/her opinions are "the truth'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted July 25, 2020 Author Share Posted July 25, 2020 10 minutes ago, Dopey said: There's always at least 1 person who thinks his/her opinions are "the truth'. If you ask any relationship psychologist what this man should do I will be willing to bet they would be far closer to my side than they other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GunnerBill Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 One of my best friends has just got out of an abusive relationship with a woman who has physically assaulted him numerous times. I can't see myself ever being in that position but then I couldn't ever see him in that position either until he was.... I think it is harder to walk away than you presume for any number of reasons. They have a 2 year old child that he has had to leave in that situation too..... which makes it even harder. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted July 25, 2020 Author Share Posted July 25, 2020 14 minutes ago, GunnerBill said: One of my best friends has just got out of an abusive relationship with a woman who has physically assaulted him numerous times. I can't see myself ever being in that position but then I couldn't ever see him in that position either until he was.... I think it is harder to walk away than you presume for any number of reasons. They have a 2 year old child that he has had to leave in that situation too..... which makes it even harder. I get it. But the hard reality of the situation is that if a woman's respect level has deteriorated that much for a man that she is willing to do that it is only going to get worse not better if he does what he has been doing. Now, does he actually have to fully walk away? No. But she has to BELIEVE he is capable of it and that if her behavior continues he WILL. She has to believe there some negative consequence for her actions because otherwise he is in effect positively reinforcing her behavior by not doing anything. At the end of the day it's about self respect. People typically will only be treated in a way they allow themselves to be treated. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJS Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 2 hours ago, matter2003 said: See but that is the problem. Women will constantly test and push to see what they can get away with. They will start with small disrespectful things and if you allow it, they will keep doing slightly more disrespectful things until it gets to a point where they have no regard for the man(and no respect for him as a man) like the situation you describe and stay(for a while...until they eventually get to a point they view him with such disdain and disgust they either cheat or leave after so much abuse---mental, emotional or physical). This is not something to applaud. If a man has no respect for himself, how can he expect anyone else to? She certainly doesn't anymore. I can pretty much guarantee you within 5 years she will divorce him and likely is/will cheat on him. She has wanted him to stand up for himself for a long time. Women WANT a man to have boundaries for behavior. He doesn't. It lets them feel secure and their respect grows for him that he will not tolerate certain actions. The biggest fear a woman has is a man that is able to walk away. If he would simply show the willingness to not tolerate disrespectful behavior and have some self-respect for himself he may be able to slowly change the situation. The more he doesn't and the more he allows the closer it gets to the situation I describe which is going to be a when not if unless something changes drastically. Sad we have reached a point where other men "applaud" a man for having no self respect and allowing a woman to treat them like a doormat. Completely unacceptable in my book. You have no clue what abusive relationships involve and the mental trap that ensues. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted July 25, 2020 Author Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) 20 minutes ago, MJS said: You have no clue what abusive relationships involve and the mental trap that ensues. Yes you are right about that because I would never allow anyone to treat me like that. I would issue a stern warning once and then I would walk away and never look back if it happened again. Once again, self-respect is the most important element in any relationship. Anyone who puts being with another person above that will not end up in a good position in the relationship ultimately. It just simply can't happen. Believe, don't believe it, it doesn't matter. If you analyze ANY relationship where this stuff happens the root cause is they refused to hold their own self-respect as the most important element in their relationship. Edited July 25, 2020 by matter2003 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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