WhoTom Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 16 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said: I former college girlfriend of mine dated him a while back when he was at UCF. She told me that he was into feet. In a sexual way. That’s all I got. Oh, and he lost one of his nipples in a moped accident. I heard he wants to play for Rex Ryan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeGOATski Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I heard he puts his pants on 2 legs at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 He's rumored to be wealthy from his wine cooler business he jointly owns with Jaguars' tight end, O'Shaughnessy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 1 hour ago, DC Tom said: He's rumored to be wealthy from his wine cooler business he jointly owns with Jaguars' tight end, O'Shaughnessy. Partially correct. He owns Bortles and James wine coolers in tandem with Steelers TE Jesse James who he met at the NFL rookie symposium in a breakout session focused on recipes using toenail fungus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain_Quint Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 A friend of mine is friends with Bortles on Snapchat. She said that he send her perverted pics with dog ears and cat noses on them. But they aren't the preset filters, its just Bortles dressed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transient Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Apparently the scene in Ted 2 where Marky Mark and Peter Griffin bear break into Tom Brady’s house to sperm-jack him was loosely based on true-life events involving Blake and Tommy that actually started off consensual but ended with each party filing a restraining order on the other. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 A buddy of mine from high school was one of the trainers on the football team at Central Florida when Bortles was playing. He told me Bortles suffers from a scorching case of genital herpes and controlling the disease was a major headache for the team doctors. He nearly missed a bunch of games due to untimely flair-ups. The rumor floating around the school at that time was that Blake caught it from a long standing but not well publicized relationship he had with a Brazilian ladyboy named Viga. I guess university financial donors were paying for private jet flights back and forth to Sao Paolo and everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Bortles pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snafu Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 I heard that he ghost wrote Doug Marrone's Diary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeF Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 (edited) I heard he is Chad Henne's illegitimate son and that they found this out just before the 2017 season. Seems Chad's second-grade teacher was "a hot for teacher" and Chad was physically advanced. When the teacher became pregnant she had the child and little Buh-lockay (Now Blake) was put up for adoption. Bortles tanked training camp so his dad could be highlighted. Its made for some awkward situations in the locker room this year. Blake running to his dad when St. Doug get's mad at him. Heard Marrone threatened to bring in Ryan Nassib to help him in the QB room. Edited January 2, 2018 by JoeF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin in Va Beach Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 My cousin was his waitress one night at his favorite restaurant, TGI Fridays. After waiting on him and 20 of his friends, he stiffed her on the tip. Said he didn't believe in tipping and when she said she doesn't make much and counts on the tips, he told her if she wasn't happy with the money she should quit. That tipping automatically was for the birds and he felt she was just doing her job. When she started to tear up he then rubbed two fingers together and said it was the worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. Told her to learn how to 'effin type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 44 minutes ago, Gavin in Va Beach said: My cousin was his waitress one night at his favorite restaurant, TGI Fridays. After waiting on him and 20 of his friends, he stiffed her on the tip. Said he didn't believe in tipping and when she said she doesn't make much and counts on the tips, he told her if she wasn't happy with the money she should quit. That tipping automatically was for the birds and he felt she was just doing her job. When she started to tear up he then rubbed two fingers together and said it was the worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. Told her to learn how to 'effin type. I'm not surprise by any of this at all. Apparently half the campus at CFU knows Bortles is the most self-centered, egotistical prick of all time. I think I heard someone on the radio mention something about this too, but I'm not sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Hammersticks Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 47 minutes ago, Gavin in Va Beach said: My cousin was his waitress one night at his favorite restaurant, TGI Fridays. After waiting on him and 20 of his friends, he stiffed her on the tip. Said he didn't believe in tipping and when she said she doesn't make much and counts on the tips, he told her if she wasn't happy with the money she should quit. That tipping automatically was for the birds and he felt she was just doing her job. When she started to tear up he then rubbed two fingers together and said it was the worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. Told her to learn how to 'effin type. Did he pay the bill? If not he should have threw in his f$&@%@g buck just like everyone else! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 Just listening to WGR-550; a WNYer Bills fan now living in Jacksonville area called in mentioning that Bortles nickname on the Jaguars team is "Chortles" b/c he has some kind of weird laugh he does every time Marrone slaps him on his ass. Figures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ndirish1978 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Pees sitting down, but here's the kicker... poops standing up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke79 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 (edited) If you switch the first letter of his first name with the first letter of his last name it spells Blake Bortles......jerk. Edited January 2, 2018 by RaoulDuke79 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 When Bortles was asked "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" the answers were NSFW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 4 minutes ago, RaoulDuke79 said: If you switch the first letter of his first name with the first letter of his last name it spells Blake Bortles......jerk. If you switch the fourth letters, it spells Blate Borkles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transient Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Rumor has it for Christmas this year he bought his offensive line leather dominatrix attire, studded high heels, ball gags, and whips and the attached cards were signed “You know what daddy likes! ❤️ BB” Apparently not everyone knew which daddy liked what, though, as Tyler Shatley reportedly attempted to sodomize Bill Belichick shortly after receiving said gift. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fadingpain Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 1 hour ago, transient said: Rumor has it for Christmas this year he bought his offensive line leather dominatrix attire, studded high heels, ball gags, and whips and the attached cards were signed “You know what daddy likes! ❤️ BB” Apparently not everyone knew which daddy liked what, though, as Tyler Shatley reportedly attempted to sodomize Bill Belichick shortly after receiving said gift. I've heard Bortles really knows how to take care of his offensive line. I guess he services them all very well, if you see my meaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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