John from Riverside Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 (edited) Yes its me Just turned 48 2 days ago so im no spring chicken OK so I am going through a divorce.....I mean it really is over we dont talk and havent for what seems like years all that is left is the paperwork to be finalized....I wont get into the details of that except to say I hung on for too long and ended up being married for over 20 years to a woman that didnt love me for several of them. So here I sit.....2 kids are now of age (daughter has 2 kids so I am a grandfather...I help them a LOT and we live in the same house) Did the on line dating thing for like a month (let me say....I am so friggen out of touch with this crap it feels so awkward) the first person I talked to wanted to have this chat sex thing and I just couldnt do it....felt so wierd and made me feel even older. So I ended up meeting someone on line......nothing kinky just talk and getting to know one another....after a few days she wanted to talk on the phone......still feels ok.....now I ask her if she would like to meet for coffee on my lunch......and that is happening FRIDAY The woman is close to my age (slightly younger) and a professional women......by that i mean she is a Dr. A surgeon at the hospital in the town where I work (I am a student advisor at a university) while we both have "professional" jobs I have no doubt our pay scales are not even close to similar but this person doest bring up how much money we make.....doenst even mention it. So ok....my first date in over 20 years (I was totally faithful to my wife) Why do I feel so guilty? Im actually scared as much as I hate to say it. (told my kids and they are thrilled...they wanted to know what took me so long) Thoughts? No im not posting picks.... Edited July 27, 2017 by John from Hemet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Jackson Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 That's great John!! You seem like a good dude with a positive outlook on life. Just make casual conversation and take it slow. Get to know her and see if it feels like someone that you want to be around more. Be confident, women hate a puss, and courteous. Hold the doors, say please and thank you but don't come across like you are trying too hard. Make it natural. They are sharks. The confidence will come out and so will weakness. Have a great time and let us know how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4merper4mer Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Careful to not almost get chopped into tiny little bits like Joe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted July 27, 2017 Author Share Posted July 27, 2017 That's great John!! You seem like a good dude with a positive outlook on life. Just make casual conversation and take it slow. Get to know her and see if it feels like someone that you want to be around more. Be confident, women hate a puss, and courteous. Hold the doors, say please and thank you but don't come across like you are trying too hard. Make it natural. They are sharks. The confidence will come out and so will weakness. Have a great time and let us know how it goes. Thanks Kirby Small talk wont be hard because she works in the medical field and I advise students in the Biomedical Sciences graduate program......its when we get past that. We come from different backgrouns - Her....classy....high reputation......however I get the real sense from her that when she leaves her work she wants to leave her "dr's coat" behind and just be a woman - Me.....old military war horse.....after 10 years of military worked my way up from a part time clerk at a University to a top level advising position (without the degree's to back it up but work with highly educated people all day long) So we are similar....but not really similar you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Jackson Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Thanks Kirby Small talk wont be hard because she works in the medical field and I advise students in the Biomedical Sciences graduate program......its when we get past that. We come from different backgrouns - Her....classy....high reputation......however I get the real sense from her that when she leaves her work she wants to leave her "dr's coat" behind and just be a woman - Me.....old military war horse.....after 10 years of military worked my way up from a part time clerk at a University to a top level advising position (without the degree's to back it up but work with highly educated people all day long) So we are similar....but not really similar you know? I get what you are saying. It really isn't all that different. Don't be insecure about it. Find some common ground and just make conversation. People are just looking for someone that they enjoy being around and a good time. You seem to have a good approach to life. People like being around that. You'll bond over food, or wine, or maybe even the Bills. It must be scary but you'll do well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Single women in their late 40s are long past the stage of needing a guy who makes a lot of money. She has her own money so your bank account is far down on her list of priorities, so don't sweat who earns more or has a fancier job title. Your job on a first date is to get to know the person enough to judge if you want a second date. That's it. Don't get wrapped up in 'could this be long term' or 'will I get laid' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gugny Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I agree with everything Kirby is saying. But one thing Kirby forgot to do is ask, very nicely, if you'll reconsider posting a pic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Jackson Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I agree with everything Kirby is saying. But one thing Kirby forgot to do is ask, very nicely, if you'll reconsider posting a pic.Also if she does make a lot of money you might want to consider stopping your birth control. Don't tell her though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOKIE Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 (edited) Are you picking her up? If so, after you reach the restaurant and open the car door for her, (hopefully youve achieved at least a minimal bond by this point), try gently but confidently taking her hand and hold it for the walk to the restaurant door. She may be nervous too, and that simple touch will relieve a lot of anxiety for the both of you. It works for me. Edited July 27, 2017 by BUFFALOKIE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted July 27, 2017 Author Share Posted July 27, 2017 Are you picking her up? If so, after you reach the restaurant and open the car door for her, (hopefully youve achieved at least a minimal bond by this point), try gently but confidently taking her hand and hold it for the walk to the restaurant door. She may be nervous too, and that simple touch will relieve a lot of anxiety for the both of you. It works for me. We are meeting there......god this just keeps getting better. I now drive a leaf and she drives an escalade or something (watch her show up in one of those trucks with the huge wheels that cost a mint and totally demasculate me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 We are meeting there......god this just keeps getting better. I now drive a leaf and she drives an escalade or something (watch her show up in one of those trucks with the huge wheels that cost a mint and totally demasculate me... "Demasculate?" Huh? You have nothing to fear, if she DE- emasculates you, that means she will make you more of a macho man! ;-) Hmmmm... But we still have to do something about that Nissan Leaf. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sig1Hunter Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Hmmmm... But we still have to do something about that Nissan Leaf. ;-) I found something I can agree with you on, EII! Good luck, John. I echo Kirby's sentiments. Be yourself. If that's not good enough, it's not worth any more time wasted. Hey, you got nothing to lose and everything to gain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeGOATski Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Why date again? Serious question and I'm curious to know how others here think. You've already been through married life and parenthood. What's the point of a girlfriend or second wife? Wouldn't you much rather forget all that drama? Sure, have a short fling here and there for the fun of it. My father-in-law is in the same situation and playing the same dating game. I don't get the point. Online dating makes it so easy now to just hook up now and then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sig1Hunter Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Companionship? Humans were made / wired for relationship. Obviously, that varies from person to person, but I tend to think that is the primary motivator for a lot of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maury Ballstein Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Don't forget to kiss her and pinch her butt. If you don't do these 2 things you will get friend zoned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Franklin Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Why date again? Serious question and I'm curious to know how others here think. You've already been through married life and parenthood. What's the point of a girlfriend or second wife? Wouldn't you much rather forget all that drama? Sure, have a short fling here and there for the fun of it. My father-in-law is in the same situation and playing the same dating game. I don't get the point. Online dating makes it so easy now to just hook up now and then. Behind the fantasy you lay out is a sad lonely reality. That's why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Yes its me Just turned 48 2 days ago so im no spring chicken OK so I am going through a divorce.....I mean it really is over we dont talk and havent for what seems like years all that is left is the paperwork to be finalized....I wont get into the details of that except to say I hung on for too long and ended up being married for over 20 years to a woman that didnt love me for several of them. So here I sit.....2 kids are now of age (daughter has 2 kids so I am a grandfather...I help them a LOT and we live in the same house) Did the on line dating thing for like a month (let me say....I am so friggen out of touch with this crap it feels so awkward) the first person I talked to wanted to have this chat sex thing and I just couldnt do it....felt so wierd and made me feel even older. So I ended up meeting someone on line......nothing kinky just talk and getting to know one another....after a few days she wanted to talk on the phone......still feels ok.....now I ask her if she would like to meet for coffee on my lunch......and that is happening FRIDAY The woman is close to my age (slightly younger) and a professional women......by that i mean she is a Dr. A surgeon at the hospital in the town where I work (I am a student advisor at a university) while we both have "professional" jobs I have no doubt our pay scales are not even close to similar but this person doest bring up how much money we make.....doenst even mention it. So ok....my first date in over 20 years (I was totally faithful to my wife) Why do I feel so guilty? Im actually scared as much as I hate to say it. (told my kids and they are thrilled...they wanted to know what took me so long) Thoughts? No im not posting picks.... Dude! No pic's no free advice. Guilty or scared? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 Be yourself. Have fun. What happens happens. See if she will come to the opener tailgate party. Let us know how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aristocrat Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 What's her opinion on tyrod? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 I'm sure it's scary but you'll be better off. You can be choosy as hell right now. Just enjoy talking to new women and whoever doesn't give you that tingle...just move on. It's better to just enjoy and don't think about committing right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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