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This Isnt' A Joke. I Just Got Back From The Hospital.


Steely Dan

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(This isn't a joke)

 

On Thursday February 5th I had a mini stroke. I'm perfectly fine right now and it was the perfect stroke if you're gonna have one. Yes I said the "perfect stroke". More on that later.

 

It was about 6am Thursday I was lying on my stomach in bed playing a little hand held Yahtzee game and to add insult to injury I wasn't doing very well. My right eye started getting very blurry and so I lay down thinking that maybe when I got up it would be better. After laying there for a half hour I decided to get up and see if my eye was any better. When I turned on the light I had lost all sight in that eye so I called my brother to take me to Strong Hospital. I just couldn't see why that would happen.

 

When I got there they didn't make me wait but the emergency room waiting area was empty so I didn't really think anything of it. They took me into a room and a couple of doctors came in and talked to me. They kept doing the same tests over and over, pretty annoying but better than them not detecting something ASAP and as soon as possible. After about an hour they took me to get a CT scan and when the bed pulled up the Radiology Tech said "Bring him in he's a priority." Now, everybody hates waiting in the hospital for treatment but, it's a little unnerving to have people keep telling you you're a priority. It's sort or a catch-22.

 

They then sent me to the Ophthalmology Clinic and once again I was told I was a priority. They took me into the clinic and did all of the familiar eye tests that everyone gets when they've gone to the eye doctor including those effing drops in the eyes that burn like when you accidentally wipe hot sauce on the outside of your eyes. While waiting for the transportation person to come for me I got to see a guy in the waiting room blowing snot into his hands. What did he do with it? I don't have ANY idea because I wheeled myself away from him PGDQ!! The eye doctor said it was probably a piece of plaque in the artery that broke off and went to the eye. Gee thanks Ronald and Wendy.While I was in his room and he kept running in and out to call other doctors, I assume, my eyesight started getting better very slowly.

 

They wheeled me down to the ED again. Many, many times they would come in and have me follow the doctors finger with my eyes as he moved it around and they'd cover my bad eye and ask me how many fingers they were holding up and they would cover my good eye and ask me the same question and by now I was able to see blurry shadows. They would then ask me what day it was, what year it was, what was my birthday, who was President and how many women I've had sex with. Ok, the last one is BS. I wouldn't have been able to answer that anyway because numbers that go into the thousands are hard to keep track of. (cough)

 

Soon after being brought back to the ED a transportation person came and took me to unit 536 which is sort of an ICU for these kind of things. It's not a very serious ICU that you'd think of for gunshots and broken spines, severe sexual accidents and yada, yada, yada. So while I was on that unit every hour they'd come to me and ask me the same damn questions every hour but, now they wanted to know how many times I've masturbated. Ok, that's BS. I wouldn't have been able to answer that anyway because numbers that go into the thousands are hard to keep track of.

 

The doctors then told me I'd had the perfect stroke. What the hell did that mean? Well, I have a blood clot in my neck where I had the radiation during my cancer treatments and they think there is a correlation between the two. A very tiny piece of the clot broke off and went to my eye, which is now back to perfectly normal, and since it was such a small piece and such a small problem the it was "the perfect stroke" because if even a slightly bigger piece had broken off it would have caused brain damage. (Note to those who are in my FF league and reading this: To bad it didn't affect my brain because maybe some of you would finally have a chance in the league.) (tongue sticking out.)

 

Anyhoo, I'm out of the horsepistol now and feeling good. I just had a visiting nurse come in and check on me. She was cute with a Russian accent. She said she saw no reason for her to come back because I looked good with my meds and stuff and my BP was good and stuff like that there. I was trying to come up with a reason for her to come back but I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't make her call and ambulance. Maybe I should have told her I was having severe swelling of the :) .

 

So for the next five days, twice a day, I have to stick a needle in my belly to thin the blood and I'm taking a blood thinning pill that they will have to monitor closely and I'll have to have frequent blood tests. Between my cancer, my seizure disorder and this I've had more needles in me than Amy Winehouse.

 

Everything is cool now and I just wanted to let you all know about this. Sort of a good therapy for the mind to write this. I sincerely hope things are better for you than they've been for me.

 

Jonathan

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On Thursday February 5th I had a mini stroke. I'm perfectly fine right now and it was the perfect stroke if you're gonna have one. Yes I said the "perfect stroke". More on that later.

 

... but, now they wanted to know how many times I've masturbated. Ok, that's BS. I wouldn't have been able to answer that anyway because numbers that go into the thousands are hard to keep track of.

 

Just that day in that ICU room?

 

I guess that is what you call a "perfect stroke"....

 

:)

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It was about 6am Thursday I was lying on my stomach in bed playing a little hand held Yahtzee game and to add insult to injury I wasn't doing very well.

 

You gotta take care of the large straights and 4-of-a-kinds early. :)

 

 

Glad to hear you're ok and back on your feet J.

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Thanks for all the support guys. Much appreciated. :)

 

Just that day in that ICU room?

 

I guess that is what you call a "perfect stroke"....

 

:)

 

;) Some of the nurses caused my heart to skip. ;)

 

I'm pretty sure you were misdiagnosed. Everyone knows that jerkin' off will make you go blind. :P

 

Just kiddin. Take care of yourself brother!

 

;) Mom was right!!!

 

Jesus Steely, glad to hear everything is okay! Take care of youself and buy a lotto ticket this week, you can't beat that kind of "luck."

 

That brings up the question I've been asking myself. Am I lucky that it was a very small stroke that allowed them to identify the problem or was I unlucky to have had a stroke at all? :P

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name='Steely Dan' date='Feb 11 2009, 06:49 PM' post='1314891']

It was about 6am Thursday I was lying on my stomach in bed playing a little hand held Yahtzee game and to add insult to injury I wasn't doing very well.

 

For some reason, when I read this line, I can't help hearing it in Stacy Keach's voice, but then again, Mike Hammer wouldn't be playing Yahtzee in bed at 6am (unless it was with the Swedish bikini team).

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Glad you're better.

 

Both my parents had TIAs. Luckily no after effects from them.

 

Now the important stuff :):) :

 

 

Anyhoo, I'm out of the horsepistol now and feeling good. I just had a visiting nurse come in and check on me. She was cute with a Russian accent.

 

Pictures?

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Wow - glad to hear everything turned out OK - Get Well.

 

Glad your eyesight returned to normal - in time to see Shawn Johnson on DWTS! :thumbsup:

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