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You know what chaps my hide?


Cripple Creek

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I absolutely HATE it when......my hide gets chapped! Can you recommend a good salve for that? 

 

OK, my wife, after 35 years together started insisting on putting the toilet paper in backwards. Where did THAT come from? You can tell who was in there last by how it’s hanging. I think I’m wearing her out in this battle, but it’s been grueling! 

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55 minutes ago, Augie said:

I absolutely HATE it when......my hide gets chapped! Can you recommend a good salve for that? 

 

OK, my wife, after 35 years together started insisting on putting the toilet paper in backwards. Where did THAT come from? You can tell who was in there last by how it’s hanging. I think I’m wearing her out in this battle, but it’s been grueling! 

She wants the mullet, you want the beard.

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Let's see.  What burns my biscuits...grinds my gears...tans my hide...

 

Drivers who are driving at least 10 mph slower than everyone else around them on the road...creating a dangerous traffic situation with people changing lanes and trying to get around them...and who are doing so because they are distracted by playing with their cell phone.

 

 

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13 minutes ago, Nextmanup said:

Let's see.  What burns my biscuits...grinds my gears...tans my hide...

 

Drivers who are driving at least 10 mph slower than everyone else around them on the road...creating a dangerous traffic situation with people changing lanes and trying to get around them...and who are doing so because they are distracted by playing with their cell phone.

 

 

I'm not on my phone. My driveshaft is ***** up and I've had other recent large expenses so I'm driving no faster than 60 until I can fix it.

 

I do stay in the right lane.

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1 minute ago, Augie said:

 

But, how would they work on, say..............................Rosie O’Donnell? 

 

?

  If Rosie is standing next to a cow pasture with a bull nearby it just might be her lucky day.  Seriously, don't knock a reasonably attractive woman in chaps.  The wife (much more than just "reasonably" attractive) borrowed a pair from a friend one time to put on a show for me.  Did not take long to get to the main event for the evening.  Not anything resembling cowboy chaps but something you would see in a pick-me-up bar worn by hot women along with high heeled boots and fitted leather jackets.

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1 hour ago, RochesterRob said:

  If Rosie is standing next to a cow pasture with a bull nearby it just might be her lucky day.  Seriously, don't knock a reasonably attractive woman in chaps.  The wife (much more than just "reasonably" attractive) borrowed a pair from a friend one time to put on a show for me.  Did not take long to get to the main event for the evening.  Not anything resembling cowboy chaps but something you would see in a pick-me-up bar worn by hot women along with high heeled boots and fitted leather jackets.

I remember that night. I was the guy with the cowboy hat. You never looked me in the eyes, yet we were facing her from opposite directions.

 

Just kidding, I wasn't wearing a hat.

Edited by BUFFALOKIE
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8 minutes ago, Captain_Quint said:

What frosts me is when people breathe heavily all the time. STFU already! 

 

I’ll take it a step further....I hate when some people breathe at all! 

 

 

?

 

 

.

 

When the right lane is going to end, and the signs have been telling you that for miles, you try to let somebody in.....but they insist on getting 5-10 cars farther ahead of you. My inner child wants to go all bumper-car there! 

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5 hours ago, Cripple Creek said:

@CountryCletus can relate to the chapped hide part, but, you know what chaps my hide?

 

When you pull a kleenex out of the box and the next tissue doesn't present itself.  

 

 

What gets your dander up?

 

It really chafes my hide when someone hides my chaps.

12 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

I’ll take it a step further....I hate when some people breathe at all! 

 

 

***** climate change denying CO2-producing *****.

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3 hours ago, Cripple Creek said:

Chaps are a foundational garment if you're a cowboy.

 

Or a classic Harley motorcycle rider.  You know, the bikes with the big white side wall tires, that fewer people are riding today.

11 minutes ago, DC Tom said:

***** climate change denying CO2-producing *****.

 

Good, because my cows are farting up a fierce storm.  I'm also flying across country in my mostly empty airplane.  Don't worry, I planted a couple of trees so I have carbon credits.  

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Two related things: 

1.) People who pull out a checkbook to pay for something at a retail store.

2.) People who wait to see the total before pulling out their wallet/purse to pay for it when checking out in a store. You are not getting anything for free...be prepared to pay for it.

Edited by Mr Info
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