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Heitz

Why Your Team Sucks 2019 (Redux)

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The first WYTS thread succumbed to the pressure of political nonsense and was put out of it's misery, soooo here we are again.  Let's don't mess this one up...

 

Felt like we *needed* it since it's Jags week!

 

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2019-jacksonville-jaguars-1836813580

 

Some classics in there, but I'll let the board discover the Marrone lines yourselves 😂

 

Quote

Four Jags tried to stiff a London nightclub (they crossed the pond just to experience the joy of losing to Philly) out of a $64,000 tab because they believed they deserved to be comped for it. Lemme tell you something, Jaguars: There will never be a time when you’ve earned the right to drink champagne for free. F'ing count on that.

 

Quote

Your backups are Tanner Lee and Gardner Minshew. I’m sorry but those two men are clearly throw-in players in a midseason NBA trade. A dozen basketbloggers are going ZOMG THE MAVS GAVE UP MINSHEW IN THE DEAL FOR FRITZMAN HOWARD HOLY S**T.

 

 

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Looks like we’re up tomorrow. This drew guy is definitely gonna roast Allen and our 100 free agent signings 

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I'll just leave this here...

Can't wait to read ours.

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1 hour ago, Heitz said:

The first WYTS thread succumbed to the pressure of political nonsense and was put out of it's misery, soooo here we are again.  Let's don't mess this one up...

 

Felt like we *needed* it since it's Jags week!

 

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2019-jacksonville-jaguars-1836813580

 

Some classics in there, but I'll let the board discover the Marrone lines yourselves 😂

 

 

 

 

 

Why do very wealthy people ever feel like they should be comped for anything, mich less lavish frivolous excess? 

 

Isnt that bass ackwards ?

 

 

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I'm sure Morse in concussion protocol will be mentioned in ours.

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Posted (edited)

 

We (and by we, I mean me) got our rocks off making fun of Matt Millen’s predilection for drafting ***** wideouts. But it’s worth turning your heckles toward this team’s addition penchant for sourcing young tight ends to ruin. T.J. Hockeypuck here is destined to be the kind of guy who gets overly praised for his blocking as he catches 40 eight-yard button hooks per season.

Edited by YoloinOhio

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Bills edition * guarenteed*

 

Last time a great pass was thrown by a buffalonian, a ***** landed on the field

 

Buffalo is so crappy players retire at halftime week 1 so they don't have to see the snow

 

Buffalo Cold and Bills suck

 

Wide right

 

Screenshot of falls with Vontae going over in a barrel

 

Think I'm close

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38 minutes ago, YoloinOhio said:

 

 

 

God bless whoever fan Alex is: "Detroit lucked into the two greatest position players of all time and squandered their talent so thoroughly that both left the team well shy of their career twilight. Then the local sports media has the gall to screech and rend their jowls about LOYALTY and HONOR and FAMILY like we’re in a ***** South Boston movie. "

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3 hours ago, stosh64 said:

I'll just leave this here...

Can't wait to read ours.

And I thought ‘prancercizing’ was the epitome of ‘WTF?!’

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Posted (edited)
21 hours ago, stosh64 said:

I'll just leave this here...

Can't wait to read ours.

 

love how the tool in the bowtie says JagUIRES.....this is bad, as in horrifically bad.

Edited by BuffaninATL
add content
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5 hours ago, Buffalo716 said:

Bills edition * guarenteed*

 

Last time a great pass was thrown by a buffalonian, a ***** landed on the field

 

Buffalo is so crappy players retire at halftime week 1 so they don't have to see the snow

 

Buffalo Cold and Bills suck

 

Wide right

 

Screenshot of falls with Vontae going over in a barrel

 

Think I'm close

Jumping through tables

Drinking from bowling balls

BJs in the parking lot

Falling out of the stadium

Capt. Happyclaps

Josh Allen's accuracy

LeSean McCoy's home situation

Frank Gore's age

the weather

the weather

the weather

 

 

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7 hours ago, Over 29 years of fanhood said:

Why do very wealthy people ever feel like they should be comped for anything, mich less lavish frivolous excess?

Isnt that bass ackwards ?

 

Athletes tend to grow up being comped for this and that by their fans.

So they get used to it.

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"...I attended the Jags-Ravens game at M&T Bank in which Ravens fans didn’t even give me ####, they were merely perplexed of the existence of Jags fans outside of the armpit of America which is Jacksonville, Florida. One guy asked me for my autograph cause I was the first Jags fan he’d ever met."

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Posted (edited)

who on here is taking dukes at the Bills stadium?!

 

Not a bad Bills one, "You are being rebuilt to be mediocre with DIGNITY. McDermott and GM Brandon Beane are very Serious Football Men to notice them doing Serious Football things. McDermott will get half a dozen fluff pieces written about the "program" he's trying to create, even when the Bills are 2-6."

Edited by BarkleyForGOATBackupPT5P

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5 hours ago, YoloinOhio said:

Football Kobe 😂

 

 

The Steelers one was pretty brutal and I think dead on.  Pats are enemy number one but the Steelers have become pretty loathsome and Ben is a garbage human being.

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33 minutes ago, OrtonHearsaWho said:

 

The Steelers one was pretty brutal and I think dead on.  Pats are enemy number one but the Steelers have become pretty loathsome and Ben is a garbage human being.

Massive take down of Ben. And couldn’t really argue with any of it.

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