Capco Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 (edited) Diehard 8-Year-Old Buffalo Bills Fan Showing Early Signs Of Masochism WEST SENECA, NY—Expressing a mixture of alarm and heartache over the boy’s recently discovered disorder, the parents of diehard 8-year-old Buffalo Bills fan Cody Brenner told reporters Tuesday that their son had begun showing early signs of masochism. “A year ago we identified the first stages of his condition, and it’s been absolutely devastating as a parent to see our little boy struggling with something like this,” said the boy’s mother Julia, noting with sadness that the little boy’s self-flagellation includes watching the entirety of every Bills preseason game, regularly checking their official team Twitter page, and, in perhaps the most tragic and definitive confirmation of his disorder, recently purchasing a Tyrod Taylor poster to proudly display in his bedroom. “I thought something might be wrong when Cody made himself so angry by obsessively rewatching clips of the Bills blowing late-game leads last year, but it was his insistence that they’re going to be good this season in the face of all objective reasoning that confirmed his masochism for me. I want to help him, but we’ve been told there’s very little we can do. I just hope he can stay strong, because he will most likely be dealing with this for the rest of his life.” The boy’s grief-stricken mother added that it was hard not to blame the boy’s condition on his father, a sadist who likely inflicted his longtime Bills fandom on his son. http://www.theonion.com/article/diehard-8-year-old-buffalo-bills-fan-showing-early-56727 Edited August 22, 2017 by Capco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangarang Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Fake news need a thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Fake news need a thread? It's pretty much the truth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
co_springs_billsfan Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Diehard 8-Year-Old Buffalo Bills Fan Showing Early Signs Of Masochism WEST SENECA, NYExpressing a mixture of alarm and heartache over the boys recently discovered disorder, the parents of diehard 8-year-old Buffalo Bills fan Cody Brenner told reporters Tuesday that their son had begun showing early signs of masochism. A year ago we identified the first stages of his condition, and its been absolutely devastating as a parent to see our little boy struggling with something like this, said the boys mother Julia, noting with sadness that the little boys self-flagellation includes watching the entirety of every Bills preseason game, regularly checking their official team Twitter page, and, in perhaps the most tragic and definitive confirmation of his disorder, recently purchasing a Tyrod Taylor poster to proudly display in his bedroom. I thought something might be wrong when Cody made himself so angry by obsessively rewatching clips of the Bills blowing late-game leads last year, but it was his insistence that theyre going to be good this season in the face of all objective reasoning that confirmed his masochism for me. I want to help him, but weve been told theres very little we can do. I just hope he can stay strong, because he will most likely be dealing with this for the rest of his life. The boys grief-stricken mother added that it was hard not to blame the boys condition on his father, a sadist who likely inflicted his longtime Bills fandom on his son. http://www.theonion.com/article/diehard-8-year-old-buffalo-bills-fan-showing-early-56727 Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderingsquid Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I feel ya, Cody. Hang in there. Where's his GoFundMe page btw? Great find by Capco. We need a billboard campaign in WNY for Cody! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1st Ammendment NoMas Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 mine started when I was 6. 40 years later, the disease is real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 More proof that you can't fix stupid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain_Quint Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 The first step is admitting that you need help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyst Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 (edited) I can't believe a news source would embarrassed a child we live in like this! It's a sign of the times, or something! The parents,too need to be shamed. How can you not stop and think this article will haunt the kid when he grows up and matures? He will one day wake up and realize the red white and blue makeup and banter of how he identifies has faded and he wants to be a normal boy but it maybe too late because of what his parents allowed him to do! And heavens to Betsy if this is going to be googled at his job interview or anything. Sure it may seem cute because he is just a kid but it's not! It's abhorrent! Think of this child's future! Shame on the Onion! Edited August 22, 2017 by Boyst62 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottebillsfan2 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Could you imagine being basically under the age of twenty 21 and never remembering watching the Bills in the playoffs? Hang in there Cody Brenner your time will come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quinnearlysghost88 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 i love that they used West Seneca. nice touch, Onion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papazoid Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 heartbreak is coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris heff Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I got a text from my nephew today, he lives in an Atlanta suburb. His son was in gym class when the teacher asked another student if he had low self esteem, the student replied "no, why?" the teacher said "because you're wearing a Bills tee shirt". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtDart Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 (edited) love it. The Onion is hysterical. The duffel blog is another funny one for you Military Vets. Edited August 22, 2017 by DirtDart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 All perfectly believable until they got to "Tyrod Taylor poster." Pretty sure I'll see Bigfoot riding the Loch Ness Monster before I see a Tyrod Taylor poster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tisker A Tasker Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 That's not cool. In fact its the opposite. A person has to be very sure of themselves to wear Bills garb! On a related note, these Falcons fans are getting a wee bit cocky, aren't they? I got a text from my nephew today, he lives in an Atlanta suburb. His son was in gym class when the teacher asked another student if he had low self esteem, the student replied "no, why?" the teacher said "because you're wearing a Bills tee shirt". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I got a text from my nephew today, he lives in an Atlanta suburb. His son was in gym class when the teacher asked another student if he had low self esteem, the student replied "no, why?" the teacher said "because you're wearing a Bills tee shirt". Of course he doesn't. We Bills fans have low self-of-steam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koko78 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I can't believe a news source would embarrassed a child we live in like this! It's a sign of the times, or something! The parents,too need to be shamed. How can you not stop and think this article will haunt the kid when he grows up and matures? He will one day wake up and realize the red white and blue makeup and banter of how he identifies has faded and he wants to be a normal boy but it maybe too late because of what his parents allowed him to do! And heavens to Betsy if this is going to be googled at his job interview or anything. Sure it may seem cute because he is just a kid but it's not! It's abhorrent! Think of this child's future! Shame on the Onion! Dude, it's the Onion. It's not a secret that they don't care whose lives are destroyed and who gets hurt by their stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlimShady'sSpaceForce Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Diehard 8-Year-Old .... please ... Now a Diehard 38-Year-Old from NC... Girly magazines or a motorbike will fix that kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 There is a cure Cody. I'm living proof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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