dib Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? ILean What do you call and Asian girl with one leg shorter than the other? IRean Where do these girls work? IHOP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Man Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Farmer McCarthy lived for many years with only his dog for a companion .One sad day he found his dog dead from old age. He went to his parish priest and asked if services could be said for his dog. The good father said "oh no, we can't have services for a dog here, but there's a new church down the street that might be willing." "Father do you think $50,000 might be enough of a donation?" asked farmer McCarthy. "Well Good God, man , why didn't you tell me your dog was a Catholic!!!?" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Two friends were having a discussion. 1st friend- "My sex life is kind of boring. 2nd friend-"Have you tried rodeo sex?" 1st friend-"Rodeo sex?" 2nd friend-"Let me explain. When you and your wife are getting intimate, fondle her breast and tell her it feels like her sisters'. Then try and hold on for 8 seconds." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountDorkula Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 I want to stab that joke in the head and dump its corpse in a river, it's so pathetic. But you LOVE IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommonCents Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Have you ever been camping? I heard it's intense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 So the doctor says rectum? It damn near killed 'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountDorkula Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground Beef!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Man Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Gator and lybob were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The one with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch his breath, and the other said, anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down." What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!!! what do you call a dog with no legs? doesn't matter, he wont come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 what do you call a dog with no legs? doesn't matter, he wont come I thought you called him "Cigarette," and every so often took him out for a drag... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevyVanMiller Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Imo, here is the best short joke ever written. What do you get when you cross LSD with the birth control pill? Answer: A trip without the kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HereComesTheReignAgain Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 (edited) Two guys are on a camping trip and after a few days they are sick of each other and arguing. The first guy says "let's split up tomorrow and get some time to relax on our own". So they go their separate ways in the morning and meet up for dinner. The first guy says "holy crap, was that a great day. I went hiking north and found a spring fed pond with deer drinking on the shore and eagles flying over head. I took a swim and relaxed. Best day ever!" The second guy says "wow, that is a good day, but mine was better. I went south and found some railroad tracks and decided to hike along the tracks. After hiking a little while, I found the most beautiful girl that I've ever seen tied to the tracks! I untied her and we made love in every position possible! Best day ever!" The first guy is stunned and asks "oh my god, that is incredible! Did you get a hummer?" To which the second guy says "no, I couldn't find her head" Two sperm are swimming along and one looks over and asks "we've been swimming forever! are we anywhere near the uterus?" The other sperm answers "uterus! we haven't even passed the esophagus yet!" Edited April 21, 2016 by chknwing334 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalin Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 A farmer with a sheep under his arm walks into his bedroom, where his wife is laying in bed. The farmer says "This is the pig I've had to sleep with all this time." The wife says "You idiot, that's a sheep". The farmer says "I know - I was talking to the sheep, you fat pig." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCBillsFan Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 A Flyers fan, a Sabres fan, and a Leafs fan are all climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The Flyers fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Flyers!", he yells, and jumps off the mountain.Not to be outdone, the Sabres fan is next to profess his love for his team.He yells "This is for the Sabres!!!" and pushes the Leafs fan off the mountain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 What is the difference between Evel Knievel and the Rockettes? Evel Knievel had a cunning array of stunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnC Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 This link doesn't fit with the topic but I thought it was cute. http://features.aol.com/video/most-adorable-babies-internet-are?icid=aol|carousel|dl1 Vintage comedy: Rodney Dangerfield Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeviF Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 What's the difference between onions and hookers? Chopping up onions makes me cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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