unbillievable Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I need some advice: My grandmother is turning 100yrs old and wants to see the whole family. My mother surprised us with 1st class tickets over-seas. We just had to pay for hotels/food. My brother couldn't afford it, so the siblings (us) pooled our money to pay his share. He told his girlfriend about the family trip. She discovered that there was a resort nearby with scuba/sailing/gliding etc. Our mother said that my brother would have to pay for her ticket himself. Right now, my brother is stressed out because he can't afford to pay for her $200 passport and make rent. I discussed the problem with him. -I asked if she really needed to go. He refused to go on the trip without her. -I offered to ask everyone to fly 3rd-class. She refused to go unless it was 1st class. -I asked if she could contribute anything at all. Pay for her own passport? She can't afford it. Also, she wants to cut grandma's visit short, so they can spend more time at the resort... How do I make him see reason? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Buffalo Joe Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Simple, tell him its this way, or your siblings pull their financial support. Beggers can't be choosers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 You don't. You can't argue with or change people who are at their core miserable, selfish, a--holes. Stop discussing the issue with him. Take your ticket and go and worry about yourself. Let them figure out their own crap. Obviously he could trade in his first class ticket for two 3d class tickets and if that's not good enough for people who don't have $200 to their name, than !@#$ 'em. And stop letting him off the hook -- he has chosen to be with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Does the girlfriend work? What skin does she bring to this? What is the problem? Or is this a Millennial thing? "-I offered to ask everyone to fly 3rd-class. She refused to go unless it was 1st class." Are you freaking joking? Everbody else fly first class... Bro and her fly steerage, bro downgrades and pockets the change... Can you do that? You don't. You can't argue with or change people who are at their core miserable, selfish, a--holes. Stop discussing the issue with him. Take your ticket and go and worry about yourself. Let them figure out their own crap. Obviously he could trade in his first class ticket for two 3d class tickets and if that's not good enough for people who don't have $200 to their name, than !@#$ 'em. And stop letting him off the hook -- he has chosen to be with her. Bingo! But I still want to know ages here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I need some advice: My grandmother is turning 100yrs old and wants to see the whole family. My mother surprised us with 1st class tickets over-seas. We just had to pay for hotels/food. My brother couldn't afford it, so the siblings (us) pooled our money to pay his share. He told his girlfriend about the family trip. She discovered that there was a resort nearby with scuba/sailing/gliding etc. Our mother said that my brother would have to pay for her ticket himself. Right now, my brother is stressed out because he can't afford to pay for her $200 passport and make rent. I discussed the problem with him. -I asked if she really needed to go. He refused to go on the trip without her. Stop right there. He won't go without his girlfriend, and you all won't pay her way, and he's already made his decision: he's not going. The problem here isn't that he made the wrong decision. It's that you're arguing with him about his decision. Don't. His decision isn't your responsibility, it's his. Let him live with it; you don't have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Don't do anything. You've already done enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv's Neighbor Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Not YOUR problem! . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Stop right there. He won't go without his girlfriend, and you all won't pay her way, and he's already made his decision: he's not going. The problem here isn't that he made the wrong decision. It's that you're arguing with him about his decision. Don't. His decision isn't your responsibility, it's his. Let him live with it; you don't have to. You are 100% right... But the part about the 100 year old grandmother wanting to see everbody is a bit of a sticky wicket... Bro knows that and is playing it for what it is worth... Leverage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSaint Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Stop right there. He won't go without his girlfriend, and you all won't pay her way, and he's already made his decision: he's not going. The problem here isn't that he made the wrong decision. It's that you're arguing with him about his decision. Don't. His decision isn't your responsibility, it's his. Let him live with it; you don't have to. Bingo. People love to complicate the simple. He chose, he can deal with the consequences. If he's left sitting home eating ramen with this girl instead of coming with y'all - that's his problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Bingo. People love to complicate the simple. He chose, he can deal with the consequences. If he's left sitting home eating ramen with this girl instead of coming with y'all - that's his problem Yeah... But it just doesn't end there. Granny then asks why Bro Billy didn't come and things are uneasy... Who wants to be uneasy? We just don't know what the dynamics of Granny's personality are? IMO, that is important. Say I was her and was loaded... And I really liked the Bro... If I found out the truth, I may just may cut the mother (and others) out of the will for being cheap? Then flying first class? Stranger things have happened. Just playing devil's advo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snafu Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Almost every a**hole has a sibling. Apparently you are the sibling of an a**hole. Call his selfish b.s. bluff and tell him that his freeloading bird-of-a-feather a**hole girlfriend wasn't invited and she can pay her own way. If he doesn't show up then he can explain it to your Grandmother why (after you get to her first). P.S.: if she were his wife, then maybe my answer would be a little different. She's a girlfriend, however, and she should never become his wife for your sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WotAGuy Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I think we need a pic to properly evaluate the decision on whether to buy the girlfriend a 1st class ticket. Pooj might kick in some $ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 (edited) I think we need a pic to properly evaluate the decision on whether to buy the girlfriend a 1st class ticket. Pooj might kick in some $ Yeah! Who will start the GoFundMe thing! Edited December 5, 2015 by ExiledInIllinois Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 A few answers: -the girlfriend is a millennial.. 10yrs his junior. -They've been dating 3yrs, only met the family once. -She works part time. Her family cut support, which my brother apparently took over. -Older brother's wife and two kids all got 1st class tickets. -We promised Grandma that we'd all be there for her 100th Birthday. It's a big deal. He's talking about getting married someday; given the circumstances (and history), we'll probably cut financial support as well. The way things are going, it looks like he's forcing our mother to get her a ticket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbillievable Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Does the girlfriend work? What skin does she bring to this? What is the problem? Or is this a Millennial thing? "-I offered to ask everyone to fly 3rd-class. She refused to go unless it was 1st class." Are you freaking joking? Everbody else fly first class... Bro and her fly steerage, bro downgrades and pockets the change... Can you do that? Bingo! But I still want to know ages here! A simplified explanation of a long discussion:The girlfriend feels claustrophobic around strangers. -She doesn't like sitting next to people she doesn't know, and needs to fly first class for the extra space. This problem also affected her passport because she won't stand in line at the post office, but must make an appointment (more expensive with a waiting list). It's not a medical condition; more a personality quirk. He explains it as "extreme shyness." Although, it doesn't keep her from going to clubs and parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Barbarian Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 I need some advice: My grandmother is turning 100yrs old and wants to see the whole family. My mother surprised us with 1st class tickets over-seas. We just had to pay for hotels/food. My brother couldn't afford it, so the siblings (us) pooled our money to pay his share. He told his girlfriend about the family trip. She discovered that there was a resort nearby with scuba/sailing/gliding etc. Our mother said that my brother would have to pay for her ticket himself. Right now, my brother is stressed out because he can't afford to pay for her $200 passport and make rent. I discussed the problem with him. -I asked if she really needed to go. He refused to go on the trip without her. -I offered to ask everyone to fly 3rd-class. She refused to go unless it was 1st class. -I asked if she could contribute anything at all. Pay for her own passport? She can't afford it. Also, she wants to cut grandma's visit short, so they can spend more time at the resort... How do I make him see reason? Tell him to get his act together as this about family and not having a good time at a resort, if he can't figure that he's got more than money issues (can't come up with $200, seriously) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Pics of the girlfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yeah if the girlfriend looks like bunny lebowski then I think I'm beginning to understand the problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 A few answers: -the girlfriend is a millennial.. 10yrs his junior. -They've been dating 3yrs, only met the family once. -She works part time. Her family cut support, which my brother apparently took over. -Older brother's wife and two kids all got 1st class tickets. -We promised Grandma that we'd all be there for her 100th Birthday. It's a big deal. He's talking about getting married someday; given the circumstances (and history), we'll probably cut financial support as well. The way things are going, it looks like he's forcing our mother to get her a ticket. Explain. And it looks like she's going. Your mom won't want to disappoint her mom. If your mom is smart, she'll tell them she'll pay for the ticket but they're not going to the resort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Large Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Your brother needs to sprouts some testicles and shut his girlfriend down, get his dumb ass on that plane and do for family. The fact she's putting him this position probably means he needs to kick her to the curb because it's only going to get worse, and this is just the tip of the berg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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